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Tag: epic beatdown

[VIDEO] Cristiane Cyborg Put on a Muay Thai Clinic Against Jennifer Colomb Last Friday Because of Course She Did

If any of you are like me, you probably can’t watch a video of Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino savaging some hapless opponent without running through a list of “What Ifs” and “Reasons to Hate Tito Ortiz.” What if Cyborg hadn’t asked to be released from the UFC? What if she somehow managed to secure a fight with Ronda Rousey? What if Ortiz hadn’t nuked her career with a series of awkward non sequiturs? (Author’s note: Hopefully the latter can be answered when Ortiz and his besties crash Dana White’s quinceanera or whatever it is they plan on doing.)

It’s a moot issue at this point, but we triple dog dare you to watch Cyborg’s victory over the previously undefeated (and late replacement opponent) Jennifer Colomb at Lion Fight 11 without asking the same questions. Although the fight went down last Friday, a full video of their two round Muay Thai bout has only recently been made available, likely because it was being used as evidence in an assault case filed against Justino that has since been dropped.

As for the fight itself…what would you expect? Cyborg swarms Colomb with a Tasmanian Devil-esque flurry of punches, kicks, knees, spinning backfists/elbows, haidukens, ice freeze attacks, Falcon punches and Bob-ombs at every conceivable opportunity until Colomb just sort of wilts from the sheer magnitude of it all. I’m telling you, have Cyborg strap on (HOLD IT) a face mask and some skates and she would have Milan Lucic shitting out his own eyeballs within the first period.

This is normally where I’d ask an obvious question — something like “Are there any intriguing non-UFC fights left for Cyborg?” — but we all know that answer.

In conclusion: Down with Primetime 360, up with Entertainment 720.

*drops mic*

-J. Jones

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Video of the Day: The Street Fight Equivalent of Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin


(#FacesofDeath

You know, it’s rare that we come across a filmed street fight with a video quality above that of The Blair Witch Project, and even more rare that we see one with any sort of technique involved whatsoever. Sure, Eddie Bravo will straight choke you to death if you cross him on camera, but it’s fair to say that most of the fights we catch on the Youtubes often involve two drunken nightclub patrons attempting to knock the glitter covered dragons off each other’s Ed Hardy v-necks using a fighting style that can only be described as “Tasmanian Devil-esque.”

We’ve tried to persuade you from this kind of thing, while understanding that it is bound to happen nonetheless. So what we’re saying is, if you plan on following the path of Lionheart in the near to distant future, you should do two things:

1. Take a couple lessons away from the following video.

2. Pray to your God that Jorge Masvidal isn’t the one you find yourself against.

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Javier Mendez Wishes Josh Koscheck Was a Better Listener


(Uncoachable? Who wouldda thunk it? PicProps: SBNation)

If we had to take a wild guess, we’d bet that the dudes from the American Kickboxing Academy have no problem being brutally honest with each other. Something about that particular facility’s blend of top-level MMA training and high concentration of amateur wrestlers leads us to believe this team as a whole will probably let you know when you need to clip your toenails, if the girl you’re dating ain’t all that or if you come to the gym wearing a faggy T-shirt. For that reason, we were not at all surprised that when MMA Junkie asked Javier Mendez this week about Josh Koscheck’s UFC 124 loss to Georges St. Pierre, the AKA trainer didn’t mince words.

"Josh fought crappy," Mendez told the Junkie. "He knows it. If we told him he fought great, we’d be lying. He didn’t do anything what he was supposed to do.”

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UFC 124 Aftermath: As Satisfying As It Gets


(Rub some dirt on it. PicProps: UFC.com)

Georges St. Pierre so totally outclassed Josh Koscheck at UFC 124 on Saturday night that it’s tempting to call his performance one of scariest five-round beatdowns of all time. Unfortunately, St. Pierre is too damn nice to ever be described as scary. In fact, one of the things that’s so great about GSP is that his very being invalidates all of the run-of-the-mill MMA clichés that so often lead us to refer to fighters as “savages” or “warriors” or some other such made-up bullshit. St. Pierre is a sportsman; a dude who has absolutely no qualms about beating your ass for as long as his job description requires, then sharing an awkwardly lengthy embrace with you inside the cage before getting on the mic and apologizing to the fans for not beating your ass even worse. Frankly, it’s impossible not to like the guy for it.

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