(If it didn’t work for Ken Shamrock, then chances are it ain’t going to work for you.) 

Look, spinning backfists aren’t for everybody. Sure, if you’re a malnurished Vietnam vet with a mean streak a mile long, then you can pretty much do whatever you want in the ring and get away with it. But if you’re an overweight amateur fighter who suddenly thinks he’s the white Yahir Reyes, it would probably be in your best interest to leave the study of centrifugal forces to the scientists. This theory also applies when you’re a trash-talking UFC middleweight fighting in the biggest rematch of your life against the pound-for-pound G.O.A.T who you have done nothing but belittle and insult for the past three or so years.

This was a lesson that Matt Lawrence would learn the hard way when he stepped into the ring against Dillon Cleckler at Island Fights 18.

Video after the jump. 

Totally Looks Like:  Sean Kingston

By now, you’ve probably heard the big news of the day:  Anthony “Hey Yo, Is That My Tummy Rumblin’?” Johnson missed weight today in historic fashion, tipping the scales at 197 pounds.  According to some research that I absolutely did not just do, twelve pounds is the most that anyone has ever blown weight anywhere ever, and you can feel free to correct me in the comments.  Vitor Belfort has agreed to fight a catchweight at 197, but has asked that Johnson weigh-in again tomorrow at no more than 205.

Now, maybe I’m not shocked by this — but damn brotato, how do you miss — how do you go UP a weight class because you have a nightmare cut at 170 and the boss has said you belong at 185, then proceed to bulk up like you got a call from Vince McMahon?  

Serious question: is Anthony Johnson dyslexic with numbers or something?  Just checking.

“Awww hell. Ya’ll are going to say something about my nickname, aren’t you?” (Pic: Sherdog.com)

We’re not going to go overboard and accuse Anthony Morrison of being immature or cowardly, but it’s safe to say that we’ll be dusting off the ol’ Weigh-In Failure Leaderboard following his abysmal attempt to make weight last night. Morrison was set to square off against Bryan Goldsby on tonight’s Bellator card, but after weighing in at 146.5lbs—some 11.5lbs and two weight classes over the 135lb Bantamweight cap—the fight was called off. Morrison has gone winless in his last three bouts, dropping fights to Mike Brown and Chad Mendes in the WEC before having his knock out over Nick Gonzalez at Matrix Fights 2 ruled a ‘no contest’. Losing an opportunity to fight on cable tv, even if it is just MTV2, is a costly mistake for a any fighter, but particularly for one on a skid. Losing a payday? Yeah, that’s not a smooth move either.

With this fight canceled, only three of the planned televised bouts remain:

“Who you calling “Jabba”, bitch?” (PicProps: Tussle Fight Gear)

With so many deserving fighters flying under the radar these days, that this particular match up got any attention at all may be a crime, but who are we if not willing accomplices? Amanda Lucas, adopted daughter of Star Wars & Indiana Jones creator George Lucas, was set to climb into the cage for the third time tonight at Freestyle Cage Fighting 46. Lucas had spent the past year away from competition sharpening up her skills; unfortunately, her opponent was a little less diligent in her preparation.

At last night’s weigh-ins, Martin hit the scales at an astounding 13lbs over the 165lb limit. Yeah, 13. We’ve heard countless excuses for missing weight over the years, some even of the ovarian-variety, but showing up 13lbs over the limit is almost inconceivable. To be fair, we don’t know what Martin’s reason may be and we don’t know the circumstances surrounding this fiasco, but we’re cool with that. Martin gave it two more “efforts”, but could only drop down to 173lbs. Lucas, outweighed by some ten pounds, withdrew from the bout.

(Jimmerson’s Plan B was to close his eyes and count to 50, but when he opened them the bad man was still there. PicProps: MMA and Me)

In the nearly 20 years after Art Jimmerson spent all of two minutes, 18 seconds as a UFC fighter, he’s kind of become the gold standard for bad decision-making in our sport. Jimmerson’s choice to wear just one boxing glove during his fight against Royce Gracie at UFC 1 is now the stuff of legend in the same way Harold Howard’s mullet, Scott Morris’ ninjitsu and Teila Tuli’s flying tooth have become synonymous with epic failure during the early days of “no holds barred” combat. Heck, Jimmerson’s folly even inspired Tom Lawlor’s most recent wacky (and kind of uncomfortable) entrance to the UFC 121 weigh-ins. If getting spoofed by Lawlor doesn’t mean you’ve etched your name into the history books, I don’t know what does. For Jimmerson however — a former Golden Gloves champ who put together a mostly successful 17-year career as a professional boxer — being remembered primarily as “the idiot who wore one boxing glove to an MMA fight” has to be a little infuriating.

That’s why it makes for such a syrupy, schmaltzy happy ending to his roundabout history in MMA that Jimmerson is now once again gainfully employed with the UFC: Teaching boxing at the newly opened UFC Gym in Rosemead, Calif. Scumbag blogger turned respected reporter Ben Fowlkes has the scoop, sitting down with the boxer to get a full report on Jimmerson’s fight with Gracie (“I was like, I’m going to kill this man. I never heard of no Royce Gracie … ”) and his fateful decision to strap that glove onto his left fist before heading out to the cage. As it turns out, Jimmerson says there was actually some strategery involved.