(Props: rachelmm3096)

Friday night’s Prestige FC 3 event in Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada, was headlined by portly slugger Eric “Butterbean” Esch (14-10-1) against Sandy Bowman (3-0), a 40-year-old local fighter who Sherdog identifies as a former lightweight who swelled up to 223 pounds for the opportunity. Esch held a 150-pound weight advantage in the cage, but it wouldn’t be of any help that night.

Ten seconds after the bell, Bowman lands a head-kick that topples ‘Bean like a defective Weeble. After some elbows from Bowman from the top, Esch realizes that he ain’t getting up without assistance, and taps due to strikes at 0:54 of round 1.

Video courtest of allthebestfights.com.

Last night’s MFC 31 wasn’t the only MMA card our friends north of the border were treated to. Astute readers may have also remembered that Instinct MMA made its promotional debut in Quebec, Canada last night as well. The night’s main event pitted ex-hockey enforcer Steve Bosse against UFC veteran Houston Alexander. With a combined fourteen knockouts in twenty victories for the pair, you probably guessed that someone was going to get knocked out. And my God did these two deliver.

GIFs are after the jump.

Travis Fulton vs. Jeremy Bullock: just what the hell did they expect to happen?

“Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

Keeping those words from the first collection in our hearts, we’ve assembled the second installment of moments in MMA that some of us (mostly the athletes involved) would like to forget. The rest of us, we want to see those moments saved forever, preferably in a graphic format that loops endlessly.

First, get your mind right with a fight video from the dark ages of MMA, when any human with a pair of pajamas and some Tae Kwon Do could try that crazy ultimate fightin’ stuff. It was 1998, and Travis Fulton had already had over sixty fights. His opponent was Jeremy Bullock, a skinny guy that probably really liked Bruce Lee movies. Make sure to watch Bullock’s interview, where he shares his keys to victory with everyone, including Fulton. Also watch the fight, where Fulton shares his love for a good pro wrestling-style chokeslam with everyone, including Bullock. (Reportedly, Bullock thinks Bruce Lee is a fucking asshole these days.)

Once you’re done with that piece of history, come on in and we’ll share more moments of infamy, awkwardness, stupidity, and shame. It’s Fail GIF time, kids; let’s party.

As always, big ups, props, and mad respec’ to the GIF masters and the websites that host them: Chris Bunch o’ Numbers, Uncle Justice, Damn Severn, Zombie Prophet, Caposa, UpstandingCitizens, MMA-Core, IronForgesIron, and MMATKO. If we forgot you, it’s not on purpose.

He made his bones knocking out palookas in the Toughman circuit in the ’90s, before transitioning into an MMA career where he was usually matched up against other oddly-shaped fighters. But now that he’s older and wiser — and still enormous — all Butterbean wants to do is protect and serve. That’s the premise of a new reality series called Big Law: Deputy Butterbean, which premieres August 9th on the Investigation Discovery channel.

The show follows Eric Esch (aka Butterbean, King of the Damn Four-Rounders) and his partner Deputy Adam Hadder as they patrol the streets of Jasper, Alabama, tracking down crystal meth labs and unsanctioned rib-eating contests. Will the 400+ pound ‘Bean be forced to scale a chain-link fence during a pursuit? Will Steven Seagal come in for a guest-spot? These are serious questions that need to be asked now.

When reached for comment, Tim Sylvia cried “What about meeeeeeeeeeee??” Anyway. You guys gonna watch this crap or what?

Our photographer friend Jason Wright was in attendance at Friday’s LFC 43: Wild Thang show at the 8 Seconds Saloon in Indianapolis, and provided us with some exclusive shots from the main event — Eric "Butterbean" Esch vs. Deon West — as well as a rundown of the fight. More photos after the jump. Enjoy.

Deon West is introduced as an MMA fighter specializing in "Twinkie boxing" and "Little Debbie wrestling". No kidding. The announcer is barely able to keep a straight face. West has a pro record of 2-2.

These guys have a combined weight of just over 800 lbs. I’m standing on a little shooting perch attached to the side of the cage and all I can think about is how big of a jolt I’m going to get if these guys go hard into the fence. I really don’t want to fall off my little platform. Maybe Butterbean will land one of those big haymakers I watched him land so many times back in his boxing days so I can avoid the embarrassment of being launched from my platform.

The horn sounds and it takes less than 30 seconds for West to push Butterbean hard into the fence across the cage from me. I was right, the whole thing shook like an 8.3 earthquake just rocked the joint. It was a good thing I was anticipating it. West picks up the big ‘Bean and slams him hard. That was an impressive lift! Bean lands on his back in half guard and covers up. Bean spends the remainder of the round on his back getting pounded on by West, who gets side control and even takes the Bean’s back at one point. It looks like it might get stopped, but Bean does enough defending and throwing the occasional strike or knee to keep the ref at bay. That was a very one-sided beating. 10-9 or even 10-8 West.

(Video courtesy YouTube/rattsnakeratt)

Having watched quite a few of Eric "Butterbean" Esch‘s MMA fights over the years, purely for the comedic value, I’ve taken to calling him "Turtle," because every time he got on his back he was fucked. 

Despite joining American Top Team — a camp known as much for its high-level Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belts as it is for it’s dangerous strikers, Esch has done very little to round out his game in his nearly seven years in the sport. He’s basically just an older, fatter version of the hard-punching jobber he was in boxing.

So when he says things like "Mariusz Pudzianowski is going to be the best heavyweight in the world in two years," his opinion doesn’t hold much water.

He could be trying to talk up the terrible showing he had against The World’s Strongest Man" last weekend in Poland in a first round TKO loss that looked suspiciously like a WWE work, but if Turtle Butterbean truly believes that Mariusz will be the next Fedor or Brock, Moosin might want to reconsider having him as its spokesperson.

"He’s learning very much. He’s come a long way. In two years, I don’t think there would be anybody out there that would be able to compete with Mariusz. So, Poland, they might have to wait two years to have the best MMA man out there. But it’s coming. He’s learning very, very fast," Esch said in an interview after his KSW bout last weekend. "He’s a very smart man. He’s not stupid. He’s very smart. I’ve never said anything bad about Mario, other than he punches like a girl. But he’s a very smart man, very nice, very strong. Two years he’ll be unbeatable."

(Props: ix3623vault)

After a laughably transparent hype-up, Mariusz Pudzianowski and Eric "Butterbean" Esch squared off Saturday night at KSW 14 in Lodz, Poland. The main event was a disaster before the fight even started. Check out the above video, in which an underprepared Polish soul-singer named Mateusz Krauwurst absolutely murders "The Star Spangled Banner" in a botched tribute to Esch’s homeland/shorts. For reference, here’s a quick phonetic transcript:

"Ohhh say can you see
Mah’downse, duh-early lied
Were so proudly behaaaaaaved
Byyyyy the twilight’s that leaving
[pause, scattered laughter]
Hair the rockets were glare
And the rockets were glurrrrrr…
[singer nervously hums, then quits]"

It didn’t bode well for the 450-pound American power-puncher. And unfortunately, the fight was just as embarassing… 

When James Toney meets Randy Couture at UFC 118 next Saturday, he’ll be attempting to prove the dominance of the "sweet science" over that weird stuff that gay skinheads do. Of course, he won’t be the first pugilist to try to beat an MMA fighter at their own game — boxing vs. martial arts challenge matches have been around since before "Lights Out" was born. Join us as we take a look back at the brave boxers who preceded Toney…and what became of them.

MILO SAVAGE vs. "JUDO" GENE LeBELL
December 2, 1963

Arguably the first sanctioned MMA match in American history, Savage vs. LeBell came together when legendary judoka/actor Gene LeBell answered a challenge from boxer Jim Beck, who claimed that a professional boxer could beat any martial artist. (Yep, they’ve been making the same boast for almost 50 years.) According to LeBell, he was expecting to fight Beck himself in the televised match, but his opponent was switched at the last minute to Milo Savage, a top-5-ranked light-heavyweight who was allegedly wearing brass knuckles under his fingerless speed-bag gloves, and was greased from head to toe. Despite the disadvantages, Gene sunk a lapel choke in the 4th round and put Savage to sleep. But as with most stories involving Judo Gene, the details are somewhat debatable; this Jonathan Snowden article debunks several aspects of LeBell’s version. Still, LeBell vs. Savage deserves credit as the first MMA-style fight on television, and set up a rivalry between boxing and martial arts that’s somehow still relevant today.

MUHAMMAD ALI vs. ANTONIO INOKI
June 26, 1976

It sounded like good, harmless fun — the greatest boxer of all time taking on Japanese pro-wrestling kingpin Antonio Inoki in an exhibition match in Tokyo. But in the days leading up to the show, bizarre rules were added that restricted certain attacks. Most notably, Inoki could only kick if he had one knee on the ground. So, he scooted around the ring kicking Ali’s legs for the entire 15-round duration. Ali only landed six punches the entire fight and went home with two blood clots and an infection. The bout was ruled a draw, and has garnered a reputation as one of the ugliest fiascos in the history of combat sports. Fun fact: The referee of this match? None other than mixed-fighting pioneer Gene LeBell.

(Much like their varied training regimens, both men have decidedly different pre-fight diets that they follow)

Well, we can’t say we didn’t see this one coming.

Polish promotion Konfrontacja Sztuk Walki (KSW) announced today that Mariusz "The World’s Strongest Man" Pudzianowski will square off with Eric "Butterbean" Esch September 18 at KSW 14.

Although it wasn’t rocket science to disseminate the press release sent out by Esch’s Moosin promotion in which Butterbean hurled James Toney-esque insults like "he hits like a girl" at Pudzianowski. It appears the release, although not in any way newsworthy on its own, was simply an attempt at building a grudge match for the KSW card.

I’m going to go all in and bet that KSW will be lending Moosin some of its fighters for their next show in Chicago, especially since the promotion has said that they are targeting markets that heavily are populated by Polish descendants. 

Also on the card is a lightweight tournament featuring six fighters, including Swedish-born UFC veteran Per Eklund and Finnish white trash supremacist Nikko Puhakka.

(If a regarded submission and kickboxing specialist like Butterbean thinks Pudz needs to round out his game, it must be true.)

It didn’t take long for Moosin USA promoter Eric "Butterbean" Esch to go into damage control when he saw his potential October 9 main event slip through his fingertips.

A day after Sherdog’s Loretta Hunt quashed Moosin executive Corey Fischer’s claim in a report by MMAFighting that the promotion was finalizing a marquee bout between Kimbo Slice and Mariusz Pudzianowski for the planned Chicago show, Butterbean has spun the situation in a press release sent out by the organization earlier today.

(Eric “Butterbean” Esch vs. Wesley “Cabbage” Correira)

The K-1 World Grand Prix 2008 went down Saturday at the Stan Sheriff Center in Honolulu, with Turkish kickboxer Gokhan Saki cruising through the event’s eight-man tournament thanks to three consecutive knockouts of Deutsch Puu, Rick Cheek, and Randy Kim. The GP’s quarterfinal round featured a match between Eric “Butterbean” Esch and Wesley “Cabbage” Correira, who previously fought in an MMA bout at Rumble on the Rock 8, where Butterbean won a doctor’s stoppage victory after two rounds. This time the ‘Bean wasn’t so lucky, as he suffered a head-kick knockout in the second round, which dropped his K-1 record to 2-4.

Another fighter who didn’t make it to the semis was American Gladiator/kickboxer Justice Smith, who lost a hard-fought decision to Mighty Mo Siligia — Mo was unable to continue to the GP’s second round, and was replaced by alternate Randy Kim, who knocked out Correira in the semis before being put down by Saki in the finals.

In the non-tourney superfights, K-1 World Heavyweight Champion Badr Hari needed all of seven seconds to knock out Domagoj Ostojic, and Min Soo Kim outlasted one-time UFC fighter Scott Junk to a unanimous decision win. Full results and video of the Hari/Ostojic knockout are after the jump. Props to MMA Mania and Bloody Elbow.

We had neither the time nor interest to watch YAMMA live, so if you want a more detailed recap of the sad spectacle than we had in our results post, we recommend going here or here. But if you want the entire depressing, cut-rate experience boiled down into three minutes, look no further than the “Masters Superfight” between Eric “Butterbean” Esch and Patrick “Pillbottle” Smith. Cheers to Smith for dodging Butterbean’s infamous haymakers; jeers to Esch for not being able to get to his feet after slipping. Smith simply got down next to the 416-pound beached whale and dropped punches until Dan Miragliotta decided that the 200 audience members had gotten their money’s worth. If only ‘Bean could have fallen onto the revolutionary YAMMA incline instead — who knows what could have happened…

(We may never get to witness this historic matchup.)

When we first reported that Gary Goodridge wouldn’t be able to fight Eric Esch at YAMMA 1 because he was focusing on his MFC fight against Eric Pele next month, his crew came out in full force to correct us; Big Daddy was up for it, and was ready to “KICK SOME UGLY ASS.”

Well, we had no idea that Goodridge had another fight booked to go down just two weeks before his scheduled appearance in YAMMA’s Death Bowl. Apparently, he fought Mu Bae Choi in Seoul last Sunday and was knocked out in the second round. (Video can be seen here.) Subsequently, the New Jersey Athletic Control Board informed FiveOuncesOfPain that Goodridge would not be approved for his YAMMA fight due to health and safety concerns.

And it gets better: Yesterday we passed along YAMMA’s official announcement that Mark Kerr will be filling in for Don Frye Patrick Smith against Oleg Taktarov in one of the event’s “Masters Superfights,” but the Kerr/Taktarov match hasn’t been approved either due to Kerr’s previous suspension in the state of Connecticut.

So, unless Bob Meyrowitz can successfully bribe the NJACB to allow Goodridge to fight on April 11th, both of YAMMA’s headlining superfights are now in limbo. Our suggestion to Bob Meyrowitz? Save yourself the headaches and do what Strikeforce did — make the two guys who lost their opponents fight each other. Butterbean vs. Oleg Taktarov isn’t a bad main event, in a county fair sort of way. Or, let Oleg slice his way through the eight-man heavyweight tournament and pull up Ricco Rodriguez to battle Butterbean in New Jersey’s own version of the Megaton. Look, your fighting surface is a freakin’ bowl — don’t act like your credibility is at risk.

(Don’t worry, Butterbean: We don’t think Gary’s creaky hips will allow any flying kicks.)

In addition to a previously reported fight between UFC throwbacks Don Frye and Oleg Taktarov, YAMMA Pit Fighting’s inaugural show on April 11th will also feature a second “Masters SuperFight” bout between Eric “Butterbean” Esch and Gary Goodridge. We’re not sure what Esch is a “master” at, other than swallowing basketballs whole without chewing, but he’s built up a decent 11-5 MMA record since 2003, with wins over Wesley Correira and James Thompson; his last fight was a submission loss to Nick Penner at TFC: First Blood in December.

Gary “Big Daddy” Goodridge is probably best known for his horrific knockout-by-elbows of Paul Herrera in his Octagon debut at UFC 8 (2/16/96). He later jobbed through a mediocre career in PRIDE, then moved to K-1 HERO’s where he built up a 3-1 record since 2005. His last fight was a TKO victory last March over Jan Nortje (more on that later). Fun fact: The average age of the four men booked for YAMMA’s Masters SuperFights is 41.

As for the eight-man heavyweight tournament that YAMMA also has planned for its debut show, the word is that Wes Sims, Chris Guillen, and Travis Wiuff will participate. Here’s hoping that Bob Meyrowitz‘s new spectacle doesn’t get MMA re-banned across the country. And good luck turning a profit. This sort of thing tends to suck up money faster than Butterbean sucks up pans of lasagna.

Why Xcess Fighting chose to hold their debut event at a gay nightclub is beyond me. At any rate, the super macho fight organization’s “Havoc in Hollywood” show goes down tonight — but if you were planning on heading out there to get a glimpse of Eric “Butterbean” Esch, don’t bother.