Guillard choking, in every sense of the word. (Photo: UFC.com)

While the ‘UFC on FX’ debut may have lacked the big names of UFC 142, the fights themselves packed just as much fire-power. For the second straight week, six fighters were able to put away their opponent and double their earnings in less than a round. Punches, chokes, and a torrent of brutal hellbows were all used to send grown men into la-la land, and we’ve got the GIF’s to prove it.

(Thanks to Zombie Prophet for the GIFs)

(“What is it I’m supposed to do with these things again?”)

Joey Beltran: If Beltran loses against UFC newcomer Stipe Miocic, the loss would put him at 1-3 in his last four fights. For a journeyman like Beltran, a slide like that would likely mean a pink slip with his check. A Golden Gloves champ and NCAA Division I wrestler, Miocic is no slouch, which could play into the favor of “The Mexicutioner” if he gets called to the boss’ office.

Steve Cantwell: Heading into his UFC middleweight debut bout with Mike Massenzio,Cantwell is 0-3 in his last three outings. A loss Saturday night would likely land him on the cut list, or at the very least in the margin with a circle around and a question mark beside his name. The UFC might take into account that there was a year-and-a-half gap between his last two losses in which the former WEC light heavyweight champ battled an unnamed illness that UFC president Dana White mentioned was “career-threatening.” Since he doesn’t quite have a memorable personality like Dan Hardy or Pat Barry, that may be the only card he has to play.

Could UFC 103‘s altruistic experiment of airing some of the undercard bouts on basic cable before the main card be a recurring tradition? According to a press release distributed by Spike TV this afternoon, the UFC will be doing another live prelim show on Spike directly before the UFC 104 pay-per-view on October 24th. Guaranteed for the one-hour commercial-free broadcast will be…

Ryan Bader (9-0, 2-0 UFC) vs. Eric Schafer (11-3-2, 3-2-0 UFC): TUF 8 winner Ryan Bader, who most recently won a unanimous decision over Carmelo Marrero at Condit vs. Kampmann, will try to take another step up the light-heavyweight ladder against tough ground specialist Eric Schafer, who’s coming off back-to-back first-round stoppages of Houston Alexander and Antonio Mendes. Seems like a perfect next step in Bader’s development, as well as an opportunity for Schafer to prove that he’s a legitimate contender.

Antoni Hardonk (8-5, 4-3 UFC) vs. Pat Barry (4-1, 1-1 UFC): It might be win-or-go-home time for these two leg-kick specialists, who will both be trying to bounce back from losses. Hardonk most recently suffered a second-round TKO against Cheick Kongo at UFC 97, while Barry was quickly choked out by Tim Hague at UFC 98. It’s too bad that Barry didn’t take the Hague loss as a sign that he should drop to light-heavy, because Hardonk’s reach advantage is going to be frightening.

Other preliminary bouts could air during the broadcast, if time allows. UFC 104′s compelete lineup is after the jump.

(Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

According to Ryan Bader’s Twitter page, the TUF 8 light-heavyweight winner will return to action at UFC 104 (October 24th, Los Angeles) against "Eric Shaufer." (We’re assuming that means Eric Schafer, the UFC vet who’s coming off back-to-back first-round stoppages of Houston Alexander and Antonio Mendes.) If the announcement is accurate, it would be a surprisingly quick comeback for Bader, who wrecked his knee during his three-round domination of Carmelo Marrero in April; early predictions said he’d be out of action for up to a year. UFC 104 will be headlined by the light-heavyweight title fight between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio Rua, and may also feature the heavyweight contenders match between Shane Carwin and Cain Velasquez.

(Antonio’s Richard Nixon impression was completely lost on Logan Stanton. Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle. For more pics from this set, click here.)

Spoilers after the jump. Proceed with caution.

(Alexander vs. Schafer; props to MMA Scraps)

From Yahoo! Sports via MMA Mania:

“The crowd was so loud that I couldn’t hear my corner. If I heard them and knew, you know, there are 10 seconds left, five seconds left, whatever, I would have tried to hung in there a little longer and survived. But it was so loud and these people were supporting me so much, I couldn’t hear and I had to tap.”

Hear that, Cornhuskers? It’s your fault.

Watching the Alexander/Schafer fight again, a few things occur to me…

— The first big knee Alexander caught Schafer with at the 0:20 mark was borderline illegal. The second one was absolutely illegal. Coincidentally, the penultimate strike he landed on Keith Jardine during their fight last May was also an illegal knee. The dude’s been getting away with murder.

— Alexander still has no idea what to do when he’s mounted. It may be time to find a new training camp. (I hear the guys at Wolfslair Academy are very friendly…)

— Houston’s lack of aptitude on the ground shouldn’t take away from Schafer’s accomplishment; that arm-choke was fucking superb. Watch the way he sets it up from 4:33 until the tap. Still, Red won’t have too much of an impact in such a stacked division — a drop to middleweight might be in order.

(Don’t stop believing. Photo courtesy of Fighters.com.)

— Evan Tanner’s memorial will be held at 2 p.m. on September 27th at the Civic Center (401 South Buchanan Street) in Amarillo, Texas. Tonight’s Ultimate Fight Night broadcast will be dedicated to Tanner, and an Evan Tanner tribute show will be airing soon on Spike.

— Even though the ink on Houston Alexander’s new five-fight contract extension hasn’t even dried yet, Dana White admits that if the Assassin loses against Eric Schafer tonight, he’ll need to leave the UFC for a while to rack up some wins in other promotions.

— Roger Huerta’s loss to Kenny Florian last month was very hard on him emotionally, and he’s desperate for a rematch. In an interview with Fighters Only Magazine, he also seemed to imply that he’ll be leaving Greg Jackson’s team: “I would like to go back to the way I used to train, with the people I used to train with. Those guys were like brothers to me, not just trainers.”

— TUF 7 finalist C.B. Dollaway will reportedly return to the Octagon at UFC 92 (December 27th, Las Vegas) against middleweight veteran Jorge Rivera. Dollaway is officially 1-1 in the UFC at this point, after being submitted by Amir Sadollah via armbar at the TUF 7 finale in June, then submitting Jesse Taylor via Peruvian neck tie at “Silva vs. Irvin” in July.

— Speaking of fight bookings, Mike Swick and Jonathan Goulet have agreed to fight each other at the Ultimate Fighter 8 finale on December 13th. Both men have won their last two fights in the UFC.

— Round 5′s new Sean Sherk collectible figure doesn’t really look like Sean Sherk. But the Wandy and Spider figures are definitely worthy of being displayed in your cubicle.

(‘I came to chew bubblegum and represent the 209. I am all out of bubblegum.’)

No one can see the future, but as long as we’re going to speculate as to how things will turn out in Omaha on Wednesday (and let’s face it, we are), we might as well go all the way with predictions so specific they can’t possible come true….or can they?

Nate Diaz vs. Josh Neer

Despite his impressive performances since coming off “The Ultimate Fighter,” the UFC doesn’t seem interested in moving Diaz up in competition. Instead they move him laterally, pitting him against the journeyman Neer, who Nate’s big bro already beat. It’ll be no easy task for Diaz to top his double-birdie performance against Kurt Pellegrino, but he’s a showman. Diaz will get bullied around the Octagon by Neer early on, but at some point he’ll remember he’s the better submissions fighter. The thought will dawn on him all at once and he’ll jump on Neer’s back, lock in a standing rear-naked choke, and extend his middle fingers on either side of Neer’s head as he submits.

When will it happen: 3:17, round two.

What to watch for: the look on Joe Rogan’s face when he has to interview Diaz after the bout and ask him to talk us through the Bud Light replay. What isn’t bleeped out will be completely unintelligible.

Mac Danzig vs. Clay Guida

This is the kind of fight worth getting excited about. The stoic, cerebral Danzig takes on Enkidu, the wild man of the woods (officially known as Clay Guida). It’s the classic highly-technical vegan vs. tough-but-crazy caveman battle. Danzig will start overly cautious and be initially overwhelmed as Guida wades into him with reckless abandon. But as the fight wears on Danzig will start to figure things out, striking and circling and wearing Guida out with knees to the body. Then Guida will freak out, charging right into a triangle choke, and his face will be blocked by his hair as it changes colors before he finally consents to tap.

When will it happen: 2:03, round three.

What to watch for: Guida’s brother, who failed to make weight for his first “Ultimate Fighter” bout and was reportedly kicked off the show for it, will appear on camera at some point looking sad and not eating.

“UFC Fight Night: Diaz vs. Neer” goes down this Wednesday at the Omaha Civic Auditorium in Omaha, Nebraska. You can watch the action on Spike TV beginning at 8 p.m. ET/PT — conveniently, right before the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir. To begin the psyche-up process, here are the fighters from the card’s three key fights, discussing their matchups. Diaz/Neer is above, Danzig/Guida and Alexander/Schafer are below; props to BloodyElbow. The full lineup for the event is after the jump.

(Photo courtesy of myspace.com/nathandiazmma.)

The UFC’s next “Fight Night” card on SpikeTV will reportedly go down September 17th at the Omaha Civic Auditorium in Omaha, Nebraska, and matchups are beginning to be sorted out. TUF 5 winner and Stockton-repper Nate Diaz has agreed to fight Josh “The Dentist” Neer in a lightweight bout on the main card; Diaz has gone 4-0 in the UFC since his reality show stint, including a legendary no-hands triangle choke victory over Kurt Pellegrino at UFN 13, while Neer (24-6-1, 3-3 UFC) last defeated Din Thomas by decision at the same event, and holds notable wins over Joe Stevenson and Melvin Guillard.

Omaha’s own Houston Alexander is also expected to appear, taking on Eric Schafer. The fight marks Schafer’s return to the Octagon after picking up a couple of wins in the Gladiators Fighting Series organization; he’d previously dropped two in a row to Michael Bisping and Stephan Bonnar. A middleweight fight between Ed Herman and Alan Belcher has been rumored as well.

In other UFC news…

— Dana White has denied that his mind-blowing announcement is related to New York MMA regulation. Epic Fail averted, for now.

— BloodyElbow is floating a rumor that Anderson Silva and Yushin Okami could fight in October, at the UFC’s next U.K. show. We’d rather see the Spider in a light-heavyweight super-fight, but sure, why not, clean out the division once and for all.

— French welterweight David Baron has reportedly signed with the UFC. Baron is the former 168-pound champion of Shooto Europe who most recently pulled off a huge upset at Shooto Tradition 1 by submitting Hayato Sakurai in the first round.

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

We give the UFC props for not shredding Houston Alexander’s contract as soon as he took his second consecutive first-round knockout loss last month against James Irvin, but even the most compassionate among us would agree — if it happens again, he’ll be heading out the door. D-Day for “The Assassin” is now looking like September 17th; MMA Junkie reports that Alexander has agreed to a bout against Eric Schafer at UFC Fight Night 14. Schafer made his Octagon debut at UFC 62 with a submission win over Rob MacDonald, but lost his next two bouts via TKO to Michael Bisping and Stephan Bonnar. “Red” has since rallied in the Gladiators Fighting Series organization, where he’s posted back-to-back wins. Alexander had reportedly been offered several fights in August and September before settling on the Schafer matchup.

In other UFC fight-booking news, MMAMania passes along a rumor that a middleweight match between Ed Herman and Alan Belcher will also be on the UFN 14 card. Both men are coming off losses, to Demian Maia and Jason Day, respectively. And speaking of middleweights, a fight between Alessio Sakara and Rob Yundt has been added to the undercard of The Ultimate Fighter 7 finale on June 21st. Rob Yundt lost his Octagon debut to Ricardo Almeida at UFC 81 after taking the fight on very short notice. Sakara is 3-4 with one no-contest in the UFC, and was most recently dropped by Chris Leben at UFC 82.