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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Erin Toughill

Tim Kennedy, Ronaldo ‘Jacare’ Souza to Compete for Strikeforce Middleweight Title in August; Tournament Off the Table

Ronaldo Jacare Souza Joey Villasenor
("Okay, fine! Team Edward! Team Edward!" Joey Villasenor gets chased down by Ronaldo Souza at Heavy Artillery. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

It was announced on Friday that Strikeforce: Houston — which goes down August 21st at the Toyota Center, and will be headlined by the light-heavyweight championship match between Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal and Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante — will also feature a fight between Tim Kennedy and Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza for the organization’s middleweight title, which recently became vacant when Jake Shields got fired. But wait just a goddamned minute, wasn’t the new MW champ supposed be determined by a potentially epic tournament? Well, it seems that was the plan. Unfortunately, Strikeforce didn’t do their homework before booking the event. As MMAFighting.com explains:

Strikeforce had been planning a one-night, four-man tournament in Houston to determine its next champion. The four competitors were to be Kennedy, Souza, Robbie Lawler and Matt Lindland. Those plans, however, were nixed by the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation…

TDLR administrator Greg Alvarez confirmed to MMA Fighting on Saturday that Strikeforce wanted a one-night, bracket-style tournament for the Houston show, which will air live on Showtime. But Alvarez said that request was denied. "They asked if it was possible and I told them that when Tough Man was outlawed, the state also did away with tournaments back in 2001," Alvarez said.

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Erin Toughill Says She’s Done With Strikeforce, Possibly With MMA Altogether

Erin Toughill announced via Facebook Thursday afternoon that she isn’t going to be fighting for Strikeforce any longer, and she actually sounds pretty serious about the whole thing.  Now, I realize we’ve all written things we didn’t mean on Facebook from time to time.  For example, I do not actually believe that the MTV show "Teen Mom" is one long advertisement for abortion, contrary to what I may have written on my profile in the past.  But Toughill insists that this wasn’t a hasty decision on her part, and she even seems to be considering giving up the sport for good. 

You’ll recall that she was supposed to be next in line for a shot at "Cyborg" Santos in Strikeforce, but it doesn’t look like that’s happening now.  Her gripe is a familiar one among female fighters.  Even now that they have a major promotion to compete in, there just aren’t enough chances to fight.  Sure, Strikeforce has gotten into a good rhythm with women’s bouts, putting one on almost every event of late, but never more than one.  You factor in the various weight classes and the numerous female fighters under contract, and suddenly there aren’t that many chances to go out there and get paid.

Maybe that’s the source of Toughill’s beef, or maybe they’re jerking her around over the Santos fight.  Hopefully all this gets explained in future Facebook posts, which are accompanied by pictures of her and all her friends drinking margaritas at their local Chili’s.

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Okay, Erin Toughill Has a Point About Kim Couture’s Website

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(Couture and Toughill, locked in an old-fashioned bikini duel.)

The beef between female fighters Erin Toughill and Kim Couture just won’t die, mainly because Toughill won’t let it die. She hates “Sugar Free” so much, she managed to take a UG thread about Gina Carano and turn it into another rant about Couture, who no one had even mentioned up until that point. At first it was the usual criticism of Kim’s lack of talent and inflated sense of self-importance, but then she took aim at Couture’s website, pointing out that the bio page doesn’t really make sense.

Out of sheer idle curiosity, we went to check it out. What we learned is that Toughill is totally right.  As unintentionally hilarious bio pages go, this one is pretty great.  For example, after describing how Kim “took the ‘Bull by the Horns,’ so to speak” by attending public school as a child, the biography offers this description of her early work life:

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Erin Toughill Dumps Barrel of Haterade on Kim Couture

Kim Couture bikini
("If hatin’ is your occupation, I probably got a full-time job for you." More hair-raising photos of Kim at Fightlinker.)

Not everybody is in the holiday spirit this week. Over on the UG, MMA fighter and former American Gladiator Erin Toughill weighed in on a thread about Kim Couture’s performance last Friday. Things got very ugly very quickly:

Kim was NEVER training MMA before she met Randy. Even if I married Randy (being at the "level" I am now) it would NEVER make me a world class Greco Roman wrestler lmfao thru marriage.
 
Kim has gone on record numerous times saying she "built" the Couture name/brand & it was nothing b4 her. Kim was interviewed post "sparring" with Wand Silva saying, "Silva had to turn it UP, when I turned it up" lol believing that she was actually making Wand spar HARD. She has said "it’s really hard for Randy to pass my rubber guard" lol believing that her "guard" can keep the ICON away. Kim had lunch w some ladies from the XC gym b4 her fight. She had some lip augmentation done. Girls askd howd it affect her fight? Kim said, "It would not. I dont get hit in sparring OR when I fight. I have a ‘black style’ when it comes to boxing". That is word for word and it blew me away lol Kim has "improved everywhere" and has taken 3 weeks off from training in a year…yet lookd like she has been training for 3 weeks, total.
 
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New ‘Gladiator’ Loses Shit, Beats Husband

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(Erin Toughill, limbering up before a pill-induced rage.)

In a development that will set female American Gladiators back ten years, MMA fighter Erin Toughill — who will be appearing alongside Gina “Crush” Carano in the next season of the spandex-and-ball-cannon freak show — was slapped with a restraining order last week by her husband Clark Bevans, who also happens to be an MMA fighter. As TMZ reports:

[Bevans] claims Toughill went “insane” with jealously, and accused him of being “a pedophile, sociopath and homosexual.” Aside from allegedly beating him on several occasions, Bevans claims Toughill smashed the windshield of his RV. He also says Toughill “bodychecked, hockey style” a trainer at Gold’s Gym he had dated years before. … Bevans has filed for annulment. As for the restraining order, it was granted.

Sadly, that description only scratches the surface. Combing through the criminal report reveals the most amazingly batshit craziest bits. For example:

— “Over a twelve month period, during and after our marriage, Respondent obtained over nineteen (19) prescriptions for NORCO, a narcotic similar to “Oxycontin.”

— “We both came clean about dating other people during our separation…lmmediately after the “coming clean” session, Respondent went insane that I had dated others, despite the fact that she slept with two of my best friends and is currently engaged to a fellow marine friend of mine. Since then, Respondent tapped into my cell phone and has harassed, stalked and threatened most of the people that she found in my text messages (women). Said parties include my attorney, my hairdresser, my manager, various employees, a restaurant owner and her daughter and even the janitor at Gold’s Gym. She has even gone around and accused me of sleeping with my friend Andrew.”

— “On April 4, 2008…Respondent arrived at Shear Talent Hair Salon, barged in at 10:15 a.m. and yelled ‘Who’s Shelley Smith?’. Ms. Smith is my hairdresser. l had not seen her in over a year. A couple of days prior, via text message only, we confirmed a haircut appointment for me at 11:00 a.m. for the 4th. Respondent then yelled out – ‘Great, just wanted to see the bitch that was fucking my husband while we were married.’ [ed. note: LOFLZ!] When I arrived and learned all of this from Ms. Smith and others in the salon who were shaken up, I realized that once again, Respondent is accessing my T-Mobil account.”

Wait, it gets better…

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Gina ‘Crush’ Carano: Back in the Cage

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Good news, Potato Nation: MMA/American Gladiators star Gina Carano will be taking a break from making us cry. EliteXC announced today that Carano has been booked for their May 31st CBS debut, and will face Kaitlin Young, a 4-1 fighter hailing from the Minnesota Martial Arts Academy. Most notably, Young won an eight-woman HooknShoot tournament last November, knocking out three opponents in the same night, all within the first minute of the first round. [Ed. note: Holy fucking shit! Mo chuisle!] So basically, Gina’s gonna want to protect her face.

Also officially announced today is a bout between undefeated brawler Brett Rogers — who most recently knocked out James Thompson at “Street Certified”— and fellow heavyweight John Murphy. Meaning that the tentative main card, at this point, looks like this:

Kimbo vs. TBA (heavyweights)
Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith (for middleweight championship belt)
Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young (weight limit TBA?)
Phil Baroni vs. Murilo “Ninja” Rua (middleweights)
Brett Rogers vs. John Murphy (heavyweights)

Ooh, feel our goosebumps! The booking of Carano was clutch, as it adds a second mainstream-ish star to the network broadcast. We don’t know how much green Gary Shaw had to promise in order to lure the semi-estranged Carano back into the fold, but if it helps put EliteXC over with a skeptical CBS audience, it’ll be worth it. The only question is, has Crush been getting in enough MMA training between pugel-stick jousts and zip-line rides?

Speaking of which…

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