ATTENTION PAUL BUENTELLO: Please do this at Bellator 48.  PLEASE.

“The only great failure in life is the failure to try.” -Some old wise man, probably with a large beard

Fail is sort of like porn. You can’t really define it properly, but you know it when you see it. And brother, we’ve seen some fail watching our favorite sport. It can happen anytime, from walking out to the ring, to celebrating your victory (see above), and anytime between. We here at CagePotato hold MMA and fighters in our highest regard … but we still like to point and laugh every once in a while. Allow us to present to you our first (in what we assume will be many) installment of MMA Fails.

Special thanks go out to anyone and everyone who ever GIF’d a video, including the fine people at UpstandingCitizens, MMA-Core, IronForgesIron, and MMATKO.  Props.

Now let’s get it on!

(Clash of styles = boring fight)

Fabricio Werdum has finally responded to Alistair Overeem’s claims that he should be ashamed of his performance on Saturday night in their Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix quarterfinal match-up. According to Vai Cavalo, Overeem didn’t beat him; he lost the bout on his own by not listening to his corner and instead attempting time and time again to coax “The Demolition Man” into his guard.

“I don’t believe he won, I lost to myself. I could’ve won. The feeling I’m having now is worse than if he has smashed me up and if he was way better than me on the three rounds, winning with a large advantage,” he told TATAME today. “The guys is good, alright, so I’d have to keep my head down and train more. But it wasn’t like that and that made me choked. It was a [mediocre] bout, the fans expected much more, but he didn’t want to the ground at any cost.”

If you missed Keyboard Warriors Monday, hey thanks. Nice to know someone actually appreciates all I do to entertain you jerkfaces. For the rest of you: hey guess what i did?

Yup, prepare yourselves for KBW #3! In the aftermath of the weekend’s Strikeforce action, Dana takes the time to address the heavyweights, evaluate their performances, and fill them in on his short terms plans. And his long term plans. Say what you will, but Big Daddy White dreams big, son.

If you are interested in 100% made up conversations between characters that are mostly fabrications, come on in and enjoy. Feel free to comment your little hands off. If you don’t like comedy … well, i’ve got nothing for you.

Why do you keep coming here again?

As always, thanks to Christopher and those jokers at WithLeather.

[RX]

(History has proven that it’s tough to look good when your opponent wants a jiu-jitsu match, no matter how good you are.)

Alistair Overeem was on “The MMA Hour” with Ariel Helwani today and the Strikeforce heavyweight champion addressed the glut of MMA fans and analysts who disagree with him winning his heavyweight grand prix quarterfinal bout with Fabrico Werdum Saturday night. According to “The Demolition Man,” just because Werdum connected with more shots in the bout, doesn’t mean he won the fight, like many claim.

“I won the fight but I was not satisfied. I didn’t get a KO. I worked hard and when I look at the fight, I did dominate him. I stuck to the game plan but you have to give credit to Fabricio; he was prepared. He was not going to get suckered into my game, which is the stand-up and he got me out of my game. His takedowns were not successful, but I think he trained hard for this fight. He really wanted to win,” he explained. “I felt his power and he was there to win. I’m not impressed with his striking. He does not hit hard. He was using his strikes to set up his takedowns, but there was no damage. I was annoyed. When you look at a fight, who’s more dominant? You can see who’s more dominant.”

THE REEM EPISODE 4: COUNTING DOWN from THE REEM on Vimeo.

While everyone was busy on Internet message boards and comment sections furiously typing in caps locks with extra exclamation points how overrated and shitty of a fighter Alistair Overeem is because he didn’t walk through Fabricio Werdum as expected, The Reem Season 2, Episode 3 was quietly released to the masses.

Yeah, we were praying for something to happen in that fight, too.

Heading into last night’s Strikeforce card, there were a lot of potential storylines. There was Werdum continuing to clean out Strikeforce’s heavyweight division. There was Overeem avenging his loss to Werdum five years ago in devastating fashion. There were the returns to relevance of Josh Barnett and Jeff Monson, the rise of Daniel Cormier and “Othereem” getting the fans to learn his name. Yet after the event was over, the most compelling thing we can take from it is that Dallas has some educated MMA fans. While your average Affliction clad meathead was booing from the start of Cormier vs. Monson until the end of the night, Dallas fans only booed during Overeem vs. Werdum.

Normally I hate when fans boo fighters, but to say Overeem vs. Werdum was boo-worthy doesn’t begin to capture what a disappointment the main event was. We expected fireworks, and instead were given an even less relevant version of Silva vs. Leites (at least that fight was for a title). If that fight was under the UFC banner, Dana White would have immediately issued an apology to the fans and a threat to fire Werdum over another performance like that. To say the least, Werdum’s chances of getting back into the UFC were more than likely squashed by that fight three round Thales Leites impression.

(Where’s your creepy joker-smile now, playboy?)

The latest installment in Strikeforce’s Heavyweight Grand Prix Tournament goes down tonight at the American Airlines Arena in Dallas, featuring the long-awaited rematch between Alistair Overeem and Fabricio Werdum, and Josh Barnett’s promotional debut against Brett Rogers. Plus, KJ Noons and Jorge Masvidal jockey for #1 contendership in the lightweight division, and 14-year veteran Jeff Monson collides with rising heavyweight star Daniel Cormier.

Handling the play-by-play for this evening will be the Shemp Howard of CagePotato’s liveblog-rotation, Matt Kaplan, so let him know you care in the comments section. Live results from the Showtime broadcast of “Overeem vs. Werdum” will be stacking up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

(“It took 47 seconds for your last sparring partner to piss his pants. Alistair, we can do better.”)

Tonight, Alistair Overeem will make his Strikeforce Heavyweight Tournament debut, fighting the man who already defeated him back in PRIDE, “Vai Cavalo” Fabricio Werdum. Overeem will step inside the Strikeforce cage as the K-1 2010 World Grand Prix Champion, DREAM Heavyweight Champion and of course Strikeforce Heavyweight Champion. One of the people standing behind the success of Alistair Overeem and other Team Golden Glory fighters is the coach Martijn “The Specialist” De Jong.

De Jong is a 2nd degree Black Belt in traditional Jiu-Jitsu, 1st degree Black Belt in Kyokushin Budokai and a 1st degree Black Belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. “The Specialist” is also a president of Shooto Europe, ADCC Europe and the CEO of the successful United Glory MMA promotion.

We had an opportunity to speak to the legendary coach about his expectations from Alistair Overeem this weekend, Team Golden Glory and the state of Mixed Martial Arts and Kickboxing in The Netherlands.

Click here to read this article on Lowkick.blitzcorner.com

(“Overeem is my son. Scott Coker is my uncle. Gina Carano is my hot cousin. Josh Barnett is my sister’s meathead boyfriend.”)

Betting odds for the complete lineup of tomorrow night’s Strikeforce card were released yesterday, and looking over these numbers, it seems like the perfect opportunity to dig yourself out of the hole you put yourself in by following our previous gambling advice. Now, we don’t actually recommend the use of off-shore gambling sites these days, in light of the government’s recent eRaids, but hey, entertainment purposes and all, right? Check out the juiciest lines for Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com, then listen very carefully to what we have to say…

Main Card (Showtime, 10 p.m.)
Alistair Overeem (-321) vs. Fabricio Werdum (+300)
Josh Barnett (-319) vs. Brett Rogers (+309)
K.J. Noons (-144) vs. Jorge Masvidal (+135)
Daniel Cormier (-300) vs. Jeff Monson (+325)
Valentijn Overeem (+111) vs. Chad Griggs (-122)

Our friends at Victory Belt just hooked us up with a copy of Anderson Silva‘s new book, a semi-autobiographical collection of short fiction titled Ghosts of the Favela. Just kidding. The book’s actually called MMA Instruction Manual: The Muay Thai Clinch, Takedowns, Takedown Defense, and Ground Fighting. A follow-up to Silva’s guide to striking, it focuses on the other aspects of hand-to-hand combat that have made the Spider so dangerous in the cage. And you can have it, as long as you can predict the future.

This Saturday night, Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum goes down in Dallas, featuring two more bouts from the promotion’s heavyweight grand prix: Alistair Overeem vs. Fabricio Werdum, and Josh Barnett vs. Brett Rogers. Submit your predictions for these two fights in the comments section below, including the winner’s name, the method of victory, and the time/round of stoppage, if any. Your entry should be in this format:

“Say ‘Cheese’ fellas! We’re going to the UFC! Drinks are on me tonight.”

You know, we haven’t always been as friendly and respectful to Scott Coker and company the past few years as we could have been. Some of you have even called us haters, right here to our damn faces. However, since this is CagePotato and not CompletelyProfessionalMMAReporting.com, and since most of you assholes come here because we’re assholes, we figure that’s just peachy. That said, Strikeforce does manage to put together some stacked shows, when they’re given enough time between events.

Case in point: Strikeforce’s June 18 show in Dallas boasts a boatload (a large boat, son) of names taking part in the Neverending Story that is the SF heavyweight Grand Prix. Overeem vs Werdum is obviously the big one, but we’ve also got Josh Barnett vs Brett Rogers, Cormier vs Monson, the other Overeem vs that guy with the sideburns, KJ Noons , JZ Cavalcante vs Justin Wilcox… this is a stacked effing card, you pricks. So there, we said something nice. We marked it on our calendar, so it will be nothing but assholery and dick jokes until the autumnal equinox.

Or until the next UFC-Strikeforce superfight, whichever comes first. And with the recent news that cross-promotional fights are on the table for UFC and Strikeforce, we expect to hear SF champs making their case for a superfight of their own.

Horse Takes MMA Kick To The Nuts – Watch more Funny Videos
(Testicle-torture fetishist Nasty the Horse has a painful — or totally satisfying? — encounter with Fabricio Werdum.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- ‘Rampage’ Jackson’s Toughest Role? Convincing Us He Still Wants to Fight (MMA Fighting)

- Five Fights You Shouldn’t Miss at UFC 130 (LowKick)

- MTV Is Planning a New MMA Reality Show in the Vein of a ‘Redneck Jersey Shore’ (MiddleEasy)

- Eddie Wineland vs. Joseph Benavidez Booked for ‘UFC Live 5′ in August (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Antonio McKee Thinks He May Have Been Cut by UFC Because He ‘Rubbed Joe Silva the Wrong Way’ (MMA Mania)

- UFC 129 ‘St. Pierre vs. Shields’ Did Really Big Business (MMA Convert)

- Zoila & Jorge Gurgel talk MMA & Marriage (TheFightNerd)

- ‘Strikeforce Challengers’ Headed to Las Vegas (NBC Sports MMA)

- Video: Shane Carwin Releases “Here We Go: Camp Carwin” Episode 1 (5thRound)

- The Top 5 MMA Fighters Not Currently Fighting Under the ZUFFA Banner (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

THE REEM EPISODE 3: REWIND THE MOMENT from THE REEM on Vimeo.

The Reem Team has released the latest episode of Alistair Overeem’s web documentary series and as usual, it’s stellar.

(Two of the world’s leading causes of head injury.)

We got word this week from Alistair Overeem’s management that “The Demolition Man” will be taking some time away from his busy training schedule preparing for his first round Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix fight with Fabricio Werdum in July to answer our most pressing questions. We figured that, rather than ask the Team Golden Glory standout what we want to hear answered, we  figured we would give The Potato Nation the opportunity to come up with the best questions they can for Overeem.

(‘Diaz vs. Daley’ video hype, via ESPN)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Gegard Mousasi Speaks About Upcoming Fight with Keith Jardine (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- 40 of the Greatest Dana White F-Bombs in the History of the UFC (MiddleEasy)

- From Heavyweight to Bantamweight: Seven Future UFC Champions (LowKick)

- Paul Daley: “I’m Not a Kiss-Ass, I’m Not Really a Company Guy” (5thRound)

- Mayhem Miller Moves Past Nick Diaz Feud, Vows to ‘Beat the Brakes Off’ UFC Middleweights (MMA Fighting)

- The Tragedy of the Murder of Sergio Salcido (MMA Convert)

- Fabricio Werdum Eyeing UFC Title-Shot After Strikeforce Grand Prix (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Georges St. Pierre Pretty Damn Confident He’s Going to Beat Jake Shields (MMA-Scraps)

- ‘TUF’ Talk: How Important is Lesnar’s Stint on ‘The Ultimate Fighter’? (Versus MMA Beat)

- MMA Rankings: Alvarez & Wilcox Stay Put At Lightweight (Fight Magazine)

(“Business as usual,” should include putting on the best fights Zuffa can.)

Since Zuffa announced two weeks ago that it had purchased its closest competitor, Strikeforce, MMA fans and analysts have been clamoring for dream bouts that seemed impossible when the organizations were owned by two different companies.

Although UFC president Dana White has repeated the same three words since the news broke, “Business as usual,” and reports have emerged stating that there won’t likely be any cross-over bouts until Strikeforce’s current fighter contracts run out and they can be locked into new deals with the UFC, that doesn’t stop the inner fanboys in us from licking our chops over some of the fights we want to see happen in the Octagon (or Hexagon).

Check out our list of 20 intriguing post-Zuffa Strikeforce purchase fights we’d get behind.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/WandFightTeam)

Trainer Rafael Cordeiro and Wanderlei Silva spoke this week about the impending tilt between UFC light heavyweight champion and their former Chuteboxe teammate Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and challenger Jon Jones.

According to Wand, the fight will likely be the first of several for the pair, but he feels that Shogun will take the bout via leglock.

THE REEM 2 EPISODE 1: COMING TO AMERICA from THE REEM on Vimeo.

It’s been a while, but Alistair Overeem’s web-based mini-documentary series “The Reem” is back with another season. Season 2 picks up with Alistair getting the invite to appear on K-1′s NYE  Dynamite! card opposite last-minute replacement Todd Duffee. Following the impressive KO win, Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker approaches Overeem and offers him a slot on the promotion’s planned heavyweight grand prix and “The Demolition Man” immediately requests a rematch with Fabrisco Werdum in the opening round. So much for his detractors saying he only takes easy fights.

(“Strikeforce is the best….Sorry, I just can’t say it with a straight face.”)

Now that UFC’s parent company, Zuffa LLC has bought Strikeforce nuggets like *the buying price for Strikeforce was $40-million* and *Pro Elite was one of the frontrunners for taking over the San Jose-based organization before DW and the Fertittas swooped in and bought Scott Coker’s baby*.

One of the more interesting behind the scenes tidbits today comes from an interview Tatame did with Fabricio Werdum regarding Zuffa’s latest belt notch. Werdum reveals that following his June 26, 2010 upset win over Fedor Emelianenko, he received a call from UFC matchmaker Joe Silva to see if and when he was available to negotiate. Vai Cavalo was inexplicably dropped by Silva following a KO loss at UFC 90 in October 2008 to up-and-comer Junior dos Santos. In his two bouts prior, the Sylvio Behring BJJ black belt defeated Gabriel Gonzaga and Brandon Vera by TKO

(Video courtesy of YouTube/WandFightTeam)

If DoggedTV keep putting out awesome videos like this, there may be a challenger to The Reem’s title of “Cage Potato’s favorite mini-web documentary series.

The latest instalment opens with Wand telling the camera as he walks into the doctor’s office to find out if his knee is healed sufficiently to resume training and competing, about how emotionally taxing being faced with the prospect of not being able to fight again has been since he sustained a potentially career-ending knee injury. After getting the all clear from his surgeon to begin upping his training intensity if he can quell the tendonitis in his leg, “The Axe Murderer” outlines his plans to get back on top as one of the best fighters in the UFC’s 185-pound class.

(No ice cream and vodka makes Fedor an angry stone-faced killer. Poor Hendo.)

For years MMA fans and analysts have hypothesized about what would happen if Fedor Emelianenko moved down a weight class to light heavyweight. Most salivated at the proposition of how much more dominant the once thought invincible Russian would be if he laid off the ice cream and vodka and moved down to fight at his more natural weight. Although the six-foot-tall, 230-pound fighter did quite well against much bigger opponents, he really wasn’t doing himself any favors by fighting giants with considerable height and weight advantages.

(Overeem is hoping to add the GP belt to his growing gold collection before the end of the year.)

When Strikeforce announced today that it was postponing the second half of the opening round bouts of its heavyweight grand prix tournament until June, critics quickly began hypothesizing that the promotion’s current heavyweight champion, Alistair Overeem would likely not sit out from competing elsewhere while the tournament brackets get sorted out.

According to Overeem’s trainer Martijn de Jong, “The Reem” will stay true to his proclamation that the grand prix is his number one priority this year and the K-1 and DREAM heavyweight champion will not fight for any other promotion until his tournament obligations are fulfilled, even if it takes all year.

(“I don’t like ‘queer street’. Write that down in your little notebook.”)

In the aftermath of Fedor Emelianenko‘s upset loss to Antonio Silva last weekend — four months after Brock Lesnar was roughly stripped of his UFC title by Cain Velasquez — MMA’s global heavyweight picture is in a state of flux. So, we figured it was a good time to launch a new rankings feature on CagePotato. Every week, Ben, Mike and Chad will try to justify their top five rankings for each weight division, and we’re kicking things off with the big boys. Check out our thoughts below, and let us know how you see MMA’s current heavyweight top five…

Ben Goldstein
1. Cain Velasquez: I think we can all agree he’s the top dog right now. In one fight, Brock Lesnar’s reputation went from “toughest S.O.B. on the planet” to “man-baby who goes fetal at the first sign of pressure.” You can blame/thank Cain for that. Aside from getting wobbled a couple times by Cheick Kongo, he’s cruised through all nine of his career fights with no difficulty whatsoever.

2. Junior Dos Santos: A future champion who has put together one of the most impressive contendership runs in UFC history. I think he’ll be able to add Lesnar to his list of scalps in June. And then…?

3. Brock Lesnar: With such a massive psychological hole in his game and just a 5-2 overall record, it’s weird calling Brock the third greatest heavyweight in the world. I’m not sure I agree with myself here. But until Werdum and Overeem face off in April, neither of those guys deserves to be called top three either.

(After drowning his sorrows until closing at a New Jersey Dairy Queen, Emelianenko was overheard telling his priest, “Dah. I may fight again.”)

Scott Coker stopped AOL’s studio today to talk with MMA Fighting’s Ariel Helwani about the successful first show of the opening round of his promotion’s heavyweight grand prix that took place Saturday night at the IZOD Center in New Jersey. Talk quickly turned to former top pound-for-pound king Fedor Emelianenko and whether or not Coker felt that “The Last Emperor” will indeed walk away from the sport forever as he intimated following his loss to Antonio Silva this past weekend.

(Somehow, “Ostentatious Jacket of Crushing Defeat” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. PicProps: Strikeforce)

If Saturday night truly turns out to be Fedor Emelianenko’s swan song in mixed martial arts, the saddest part will be that we had to watch him go out on a live Strikeforce broadcast that can only be described as a terrible abortion. I mean, holy shit that was bad. From Gus Johnson showing up dressed as a beautiful woman to the horribly awkward interviews with Fedor/Gina Carano to the dreadfully anticlimactic end to the main event to the announce team desperately trying to close the show ad-libbing about Sergei Kharitonov – “He looked like a young Fedor!” Johnson said (Editor’s note: No, he didn’t) — it pretty much couldn’t have been any worse. And that doesn’t even begin to consider the fact that Emelianenko lost to a guy who just almost lost to Mike Kyle.

Even still, we’re going to avoid going full-on, tearful retrospective for a bit here. Though the man himself hinted that “maybe it’s time to leave” during his postfight interview it could have just been the initial depression and lingering effects of so many blows to the head talking. Give Fedor some time to get back to the Sport Palace and whip up on some pre-pubescent sambo white belts – and let Vadim Finkelstein start dropping hints about how that mortgage ain’t gonna pay itself – and it’s possible we could see “The Last Emperor” take at least one more bite of the MMA apple. No matter what though, we’ve likely witnessed the last of him as a top heavyweight, maybe even as a relevant one. For a lot of us, that’s a frightening reality, but one we must confront. Here are 10 questions that come immediately to mind about about our Fedor-less future …

(Antonio Silva is fascinated by Fabricio Werdum’s freakishly normal-sized chin.)

Photos and text by Matthew Kaplowitz

Strikeforce has graced the East Coast with their presence throughout this week, as the hype machine for their massive heavyweight grand prix is in full flux. Starting on Tuesday with a meet-and-greet for fans at the Roseland Ballroom in Midtown Manhattan with all eight of the tournament fighters, and continuing on Wednesday downtown with their press conference, Strikeforce is leaving their imprint on the tri-state area, informing natives of New York and New Jersey that the business of MMA has more than three letters.

This journalist/nerd was in the house for their press conference, which saw not only all members of the tournament, but the reserve fighters as well, packed into the swank Lighthouse 61 at Chelsea Piers, the skyline of New York dramatically posed behind them. Personally, I was excited to see that Strikeforce was feeding the reporters, and quite well at that, but even more exciting was the realization that this epic tournament was happening in my area. With MMA still illegal in New York, and very few big shows coming to neighboring states, having Saturday’s event a thirty-minute drive from The Big Apple was bound to help shed some light on how much of an impact MMA can have on the NY economy.

(That’s what we call commitment to the bit. Props: MMA.us)

Approximately 1,500 MMA fans swarmed the Roseland Ballroom in New York City yesterday afternoon for a special meet-and-greet with the participants from Strikeforce’s heavyweight grand prix. The action begins this Saturday at the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey, with two quarterfinal matches — Fedor Emelianenko vs. Antonio Silva and Andrei Arlovski vs. Sergei Kharitonov — and three reserve matches, featuring Shane Del Rosario, Chad Griggs, and Valentijn Overeem. If you’re going to be there in person, please swing by the press pit to receive a complimentary fist-bump from BG.

We’ve collected some video highlights from yesterday’s festivities after the jump: First, all eight members of the heavyweight GP are introduced to the crowd by horrific YAMMA/Affliction vet Scott Ferrall. Then, Alistair Overeem talks to Ariel Helwani about his new love of American football, getting ducked by Fedor, and Dana White’s opinion that he’s not a top ten heavyweight. Finally, Fabricio Werdum shows off his special move for the tournament, and we have to admit, it’s pretty damn special. Check it out.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/ShoSports)

It’s curious that whenever you see Fedor Emelianenko training, it always seems to be with younger, smaller, less skillful opponents and that he never seems to be going above 50% intensity. The fact that he’s talking about bringing in Shane Carwin to help him prepare for the later rounds of the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix may be an indicator of the level of training partners he has to pick from in his gym since his brother Aleksander and Gegard Mousasi left the Red Devil team.

As you can see in the video above, Fedor had an OK training camp, but didn’t really seem to get pushed much in the clips we saw. It makes you wonder what kind of shape he would be in and whether or not he would have lost to Werdum if he had spent the last year training at, say, Xtreme Couture. They say when you’re the top dog in the gym, it’s time to find a new gym where you’re in the middle of the pack trying to work your way to the top.

("I hear Dothan, Alabama is beautiful this time of year." PicProps: SB Nation )

Strikeforce appears on the verge of a solution to its Josh Barnett problem on Friday, as at least one internet report contends the company is close to a deal to take the MMA veteran/troubled teen to Japan for the first round of its heavyweight grand prix. MMA-Japan.com – a site affiliated with the good folks at Middle Easy – published the four-line story alleging that Strikeforce will partner with Real Entertainment and “possibly M-1 (Global)” to  stage a show on April 10 that will go down in “the afternoon hours (in Japan) in order to be shown live in the United States.” The story cites no sources and just states all of the above as fact, but since the boys at the Easy usually know their shit, we figure it’s worth repeating.

Obviously, rumors that Strikeforce is eyeing an international venue for this leg of the GP have been percolating for a few weeks. If true, it’ll mark the first time one of America’s two “major” MMA promotions has ventured to Japan since UFC 29 back in 2000. It also means the company will have found a temporary way around Barnett’s ongoing legal issues. In addition, the April show is expected to include Alistair Overeem’s opening round bout against Fabricio Werdum and staging it overseas would save The Reem from having to “pass” any more of those "independent drug tests." That’s what you call a “two birds, one stone” approach, kids.

("I’m thinking of a number between 1-20. First person to guess it gets to be Strikeforce heavyweight grand prix champion. No shit, we’ll give you a belt and everything." PicProps: Canvas Chronicle)

So, in a nutshell? Strikeforce held a conference call yesterday where it contradicted many of the things it just told us last week about its proposed heavyweight grand prix tournament. No, the title won’t be on the line. No, the fights (excepting the final) won’t be five rounds. Instead, the winner will become the Strikeforce tournament champion and will get a shot at Alistair Overeem’s belt after the grand prix wraps up … some time in like 2015. Unless Overeem himself wins the tournament. In that case, aside from The Reem having another hunk of gold to add to his collection and Strikeforce having zero title contenders left, we have no idea what happens next. From the sound of it, neither does Strikeforce.

Some other oddities in the tournament “rules” revealed yesterday: In the unlikely event of a draw, the promotion will call upon a fourth judge to break the tie. That’s cool, because draws suck. It’s also shitty, because the “fourth judge” will reportedly be appointed by Strikeforce, not an athletic commission and therefore stands to be even less trustworthy than the blind simpletons who normally score MMA fights. Also, in the very likely event that someone can’t continue in the tournament due to injury (or some other reason) a five-person “tournament committee” comprised of Strikeforce officials will handpick a replacement. If you think this concept is obviously rife with major conflicts of interests, well, you’re right. Don’t worry though, it will all sound very official. Kind of like in the ’80s when “Jack Tunney” used to be the “president” of the WWF.

Anyway, after the jump, some meditations on how all the things we told you in the above two paragraphs could potentially make this tournament go all fubar. We have questions, people. Tons of questions.