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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Fail of the year

MMA Fail of the Year Candidate #3: Dude Does a Tito Ortiz “Grave Digger” Celebration and the Stockton Taunt Before Getting KTFO


(Go ahead and turn off your speakers for this one.) 

Well here it is, folks. The hands down greatest MMA fail of the year.

It’s kind of a shame, really. There’s so much time left in 2013, yet who in their right mind is going to even attempt to pull off a more embarrassing feat in the cage than the gentleman above? There is so much fail involved in this video that we’re almost certain it was a self-parody gone horribly awry.

Example #1: Dude has the audacity to do a Tito Ortiz “Grave Digger” celebration PRE-FIGHT. While wearing headgear. With the grace of a young Natalia Makarova. Bonus points for flare.

Example #2: Dude is arrogant enough to celebrate pre-fight, yet self-conscious enough to don Under Armour during the actual fight.

Example #3: Dude does the Stockton “Come at me bro” taunt BEFORE A PUNCH HAS EVEN BEEN THROWN.

Example #4: Dude drops his hands and dares his opponent to knock him out.

Example #5: SAY GOODNIGHT.

Fin.

-J. Jones

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Fail of the Year Candidate #2: Another Dipshit Dares His Opponent to Test His Chin With Predictable Results


(Mad props to CP reader Dave W for the find. The logic-defying test of strength comes at the 4:27 mark, if you’re into that sort of thing.)

At this point, we’ve done all we can do to spare fighters the embarrassment of testing their unbreakable chins during a fight, only to receive a lesson in humility shortly thereafter. We’ve put out a PSA, we’ve relentlessly ridiculed those dumb enough to attempt the maneuver, and we’ve even bestowed one of these jackasses with the MMA Fail of the Year Award, the best worst CP honor of them all. But like Flickr’s obsession with bloody nipples, it appears that fighters daring their opponents to knock them out is a trend that is here to stay.

Today’s exercise in stupidity comes to us from a supposed “Shaolin Kung Fu Master” named Yi Long — we say “supposed” because one would think that a Shaolin Master would be a little more versed in the art of modesty – during a December 2012 fight with 10-2 Muay Thai wrecking machine Josh Pickthall. Not only does the fight feature some of the most blatant nuthugging from a ringside announcer that we have ever heard (not that we know what they’re saying, but scroll through the Youtube comments to clarify this), but it also features a falling tree KO so glorious that it seems to come right out of a Looney Tunes episode.

Perhaps what’s most perplexing about Long’s decision to expose himself to three straight punches (which, to his credit, he seems to hold up for two of) is the fact that the fight was relatively competitive until the last few seconds. If you’re Anderson Silva fighting Stephan Bonnar, sure, go ahead and get cocky. If you’re some dipshit who fancies himself the next Anderson Silva, however, maybe it’s best to hold off on the dropping of the hands. For your own sake.

-J. Jones

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