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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

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TFC 24: Anthony Johnson to Debut at 205, Braulio Estima to Just Plain Debut


(Why yes, Bas, I *will* have another bear claw.) 

Fresh off a unanimous decision victory over a Carl’s Jr., wait, I meant Dave Branch at Titan Fighting Championship 22, it looks like an opponent, date, and location has been set for Anthony Johnson’s light heavyweight debut. Johnson will be squaring off against 8-3 KOTC veteran Esteves Jones on August 24th at the Memorial Hall in Kansas City, Kansas, at Titan Fighting Championships 24. The chance to finally see Johnson fighting somewhere around his actual weight has to inspire confidence that he will actually make weight this time, a feat in and of itself that “Rumble” has failed to do in his past two fights, and about every other fight before that.

When asked to comment on his newfound diet, Johnson could only mumble “It’s great” through a mouthful of Steak-umms.

Regardless of his training/diet regimen, Johnson should have little trouble putting away Jones, who holds a notable win over Darrill “Titties” Schoonover and no one else. Then again, his nickname is “Quiet Riot”, who were arguably one of the better mainstream metal bands of the 80′s, so…honestly, I don’t really know where I was going with that. Jones is a dead man.

But even better than the news that Johnson may actually defeat an opponent without having to hand over 20% of his purse afterward is the fact that also on the card, a certain BJJ legend will be making his MMA debut.

Details are after the jump. 

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“We Pull No Punches” Caption Contest: And the Winners Are…


(Hey, at least they’re actually doing something on this season of Whale Wars.) 

A congratulations is in order to those of you who managed to submit an entry for our “Pull No Punches” caption contest; all 134 of you. If this contest showed us anything, it’s that when it comes to comedy, or at least an attempt at it, you Taters are some like-minded SOB’s. There were at least 95 horsemeat jokes (including one likely hipster who thought ironically pointing out this fact would somehow win him a shirt), 20 some odd Anthony Johnson or B.J. Penn jokes (which are always solid), and a handful of Over the Top references (which were actually pretty awesome). Since we enjoyed scanning through your entries as much as the UFC enjoys scanning through our articles to keep us in check, we must first recognize some of the captions that just fell short of T-shirt glory.

franco3445: The Nevada State Athletic Commission came to the conclusion that the only way Overeem could compete with the T/E ratio of 14 men was to go against someone the size of 14 men.

skeletor: There is no fucking way that Anthony Johnson is making weight this time.

P2: They smiled when they realized, if you use your left hand, it totally does feel like someone else is arm wrestling.

Deadpanda: Not to be outdone by the Japanese New Year’s Freak Show, US promoters put together a 4th of July event between Alistair Overeem & Joseph Son’s inflamed right testicle.

RwilsonR: We all know BJ lets himself go between fights, but I had no idea he stops shaving his back.

mcw89138: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the new main event for UFC 149.

BossNasty: Reem…It’s not polite to play with your food.

And now, to the winners…

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Video: Captain Shamrock Spears His White Whale

Sorry the quality is so weak, but this seems to be the only existing video of Friday night’s epic brawl between Ken Shamrock and Ross Clifton, which earned Shammy his first win since he knocked out Kimo Leopoldo at UFC 48 in 2004. We haven’t found video of the Tank Abbott/Mike Bourke brawl yet, so if you come across a link, please hook us up in the comments section. Shamrock and Tank will meet at a future Wargods card, sometime in April — which means that one of them will soon be on a two-fight win streak. Try to wrap your head around that one.

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