(Alistair Overeem wielding Mjolnir / Photo via Getty)

Sometimes fans need more to remember a fighter by than just a performance or a gimmick. They need an accessory to associate that fighter with–and the very best fighters understand this and know how to accessorize.

We brainstormed at Castle CagePotato as to what accessory was the greatest of all time. After several thought-sessions ended in magic ice cream binges and Martin Luther cosplay sessions, we decided to just list off all the best ones rather than just decide which one among them was the best:

1. Fedor Emelianenko’s sweater.

2. Donald Cerrone‘s cowboy hat.

3. Khabib Nurmagomedov‘s Dagestani hat.

4. David Rickels’ caveman club and dinosaur.

Get the rest after the jump!

(If Jones vs. Gustafssson 2 actually ends like this, I swear to God, I will order Fight Pass. / Props: BinaryMasta via r/MMA)

Fedor Emelianenko Believes Women Should Be Feminine and Not Fight in MMA (BleacherReport)

Dana White’s Answer to Jon Jones: ‘Gustafsson’s Next in Line’ (MMAFighting)

UFC: Ultimate Fighter Brazil Finale Sets New Low Ratings Mark for Nationally Televised Cards (BloodyElbow)

“Fighters’ World Tour” Promising UFC Stars Revealed to Be a Scam (MMAPayout)

Fernanda Hernandes Heats up the Octagon (BabesofMMA)

Dusty Exner Writes Open Letter to Her Childhood Bully, UFC Fighter Kajan Johnson; Johnson Apologizes in Long Letter, Exner Forgives Him, And the Whole Thing Is Kind of Heartwarming (trailerparkdusty)

VIDEO: The Mountain From ‘Game of Thrones’ Deadlifts 994 Pounds (Break)

Disgusting Video of Justin Bieber Singing Racist Parody of His Own Song Leaks (PopHangover)

Wisconsin Teens Claim They Stabbed Friend To Please Slenderman (EscapistMagazine)

Do You Even Lift, President Obama? (Guyism)

‘Watch Dogs’ Walkthrough (Gamefront)

36 Sexy Girls With Tan Lines (Radass)

(Matt Hughes doesn’t need to say it. But yes, it’s whatever.)

Reaction GIFs are the world’s most perfect means of communication. Why waste time typing out actual words about how you’re feeling when you can just link to other people’s facial expressions? The next time you find yourself in a heated comments section, fire off one of these MMA-related reaction GIFs. Use the next page links to move through the list, and enjoy…

When you’ve defeated a bitter rival:

When you just laughed at something you shouldn’t have laughed at:

(Indeed, all life is pain.)

By Adam Ackerman

I was reminded of something on Sunday night. Not only that I haven’t been to church in decades, but also that it can really hurt to be a fan of a specific fighter. I felt a sense of anger, sadness, and frustration when Mauricio “Shogun” Rua was knocked out by Dan Henderson. I haven’t felt that in years, not since June 26th, 2010, when Fedor Emelianenko suffered his real first loss. That night, I realized it may be better to be a fan of the sport of MMA, and not of individuals. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my favorites, but I try to look at every fight objectively and analytically.

It’s difficult not to put feelings and emotions into a fighter’s performance, because fighting is such an emotional sport. Fighters can’t always win, and don’t compete often. If seeing your favorite guy or gal win makes you happy, and watching them lose makes you sad, you could be in for one hell of a roller-coaster ride.

Being a fan of a fighter is not like being a hockey fan. The Red Wings can lose 15 games in a row and they could still go on a winning streak and make it to the playoffs. No big deal, they have a chance one or two times every week to start over. Not so much in this sport.

(Don’t worry, this is the only time you’ll be seeing this guy on the list.)

With three of the fights on UFC 170‘s main card ending in the first round, the CagePotato.com staff has decided to revisit the greatest one-round fights in MMA history during today’s CagePotato Roundtable. Despite their brevity, these fights were memorable enough to be worthy of any discussion on the greatest fights in MMA history. Read on for our picks, and please continue to send your ideas for future roundtable discussion topics to tips@cagepotato.com. 

Nathan Smith

(Photo courtesy of MiddleEasy.com)

Greatest fight that only went one round, you say? Psh, please. How about a fight that had more total strikes thrown in the first 30+ seconds than in the entire multi-year relationship between that (piece of crap) Ike Turner and Tina? Ok, ok, maybe not that many but Don Frye vs. Yoshihiro Takayama still resulted in a shit load of punches. So, to all the other contributors to this RoundTable, I respect your opinions but much like the original Highlander – There can be only one – your choices are all The Kurgan (and he was “the hardest screw that ever walked a turn at Shawshank State Prison” mind you, so you can take solace in that you losers).

After a multitude of viewings, according to my bloodshot eyes and my bourbon breath, there were 91 total strikes thrown by both Don Frye and Yoshirho Yamasaka in the opening 34 seconds of their epic collision way back at Pride 21 in June of 2002. True, I am not Reed Kuhn and these figures are not exact like a Cagepotato Databomb but let those punch-stats sink in. For a little more than half a minute, almost 3 strikes were thrown per second with almost ALL of them landing.

(Anderson Silva can now walk down stairs without crutches. The comeback continues… / Props: silva_mtc)

Manager: Urijah Faber Fought Barao With Bruised Knee Ligament, Partially Torn Hamstring (MMAJunkie)

Here’s Fedor’s Olympic Cameo in All of Its Cold, Russian Glory (MiddleEasy)

Julianna Pena’s Knee Surgery a Success, Expected to Make Full Recovery (MMAWeekly)

Dana White: Lyoto Machida Could Get Next Title Shot With Win Over Gegard Mousasi (BleacherReport)

Israeli-Born Noad Lahat to Make UFC Debut Against Godofredo Pepey at UFC Fight Night 38 (MMAFighting)

The 15 Most Important Exercises for Men (MensFitness)

Watch the Russian Police Choir Sing “Get Lucky” at the Sochi Winter Olympics (Complex)

10 Naughty Lego Positions for Adults Only (Mommyish)

Do Sports Games Need a Story? (TheEscapist)

The 100 Funniest Moments In Facebook History (WorldWideInterweb)

Video: Jay Leno Gets Emotional While Leaving the Tonight Show (EveryJoe)

10 Better Titles for Farrah Abraham’s Newest Sex Tape (HolyTaco)

The Weirdest Google Searches, Illustrated (PopHangover)

(MMA face-swap of the century: Tito and Jenna at the Grammys, via JCSUPERMAN on the UG)

CagePotato isn’t just an outdated MMA blog featuring incredibly biased articles and a non-functional comment section. The truth is, CP is an online media empire, which includes our daily complaints and arguments on Twitter, MMA GIFs and videos on our Tumblr page, and the amazing/ridiculous photographs and memes we post on Facebook.

We spent all morning combing our Facebook photo gallery and hand-picked 39 of the most memorable images that we posted in 2013, which we’ve laid out below along with their original descriptions. Enjoy, and if you’re not following us yet, get with the damn program.

January 8th: Chael Sonnen before he was a superstar heel, and Jeff Monson before he was a walking art gallery. #oldschool #mma

January 9th: Photo of the day: Ed O’Neill chokes out Royce Gracie on the set of Modern Family.

I definitely have a huge advantage when it comes down to exchanging punches. That’s my strong point, and that’s definitely going to be his weak point.

I can’t not picture me knocking him out. So he better do some chin-ups or whatever he needs to do to make him strong, because I’m coming for him. He’s not going to be able to handle my power standing and banging. He stands in the pocket with me, he’s gonna get knocked out. 

Those words might as well have served as the last will and testament of noted patriarch Brett Rogers, who upon saying them, all but signed up to be violently and karmatically (for a number of reasons) knocked out by Fedor Emelianenko at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers on November 7th, 2009 – four years ago today.

Us Zuffa shills tend to forget this, but before Anderson Silva, Jon Jones, or Georges St. Pierre started dominating our “Greatest Mixed Martial Artist of All Time” (aka “The G.O.A.T”) debates, there was an emotionless Russian killer who was universally viewed in this light. His name was Fedor Emelianenko, and after quietly building a reputation as PRIDE‘s most dominant fighter over in Japan, “The Last Emperor” made his long-awaited stateside debut against Tim Sylvia at Affliction: Banned in July of 2008.

The fight would confirm what we already knew about Fedor, as would his next fight with Andrei Arlovski at Affliction: Day of Reckoning, but it wasn’t until his monumental signing with Strikeforce (a Strikeforce was kind of like a Bellator, but we don’t have time to discuss semantics) that US fans were truly introduced to the mythical Russian. And for his first “true” test, Emelianenko was given Brett “Da Grim” Rogers, a then-undefeated slugger who had one-upped Fedor by KO’ing Arlovski in just 22 seconds in his previous fight.

(“Flip Kick Knock Out: Girl Edition,” via Break.com)

The allure of the Fedor-sweater has not diminished… (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Nevada Commission Suspends Brian Bowles 9 Months for Failed UFC 160 Drug Test (Sherdog)

Dana White Expresses Interest in Signing Bellator Champ Ben Askren (MMAFighting)

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UFC and Dana White Seem to Prefer Blissful Ignorance on PED Use in the Sport (BloodyElbow)

Behind The Scenes Photos From Brittney Palmer’s 2014 Calendar Shoot (TerezOwens)

The 25 Greatest Trash Talkers in WWE History (Complex)

What Women Really Think About Your Dating Profile (MadeMan)

Gathering of the Juggalos Tour Diary: Day 1 (FilmDrunk)
Gathering of the Juggalos Tour Diary: Day 2 (FilmDrunk)

The Screen Junkies Show: Hottest Animated Characters (ScreenJunkies)

20 Honest Website Slogans (WorldwideInterweb)

Seven Bad Habits That Could Actually Make You Healthier (MensFitness)

What Happens When You Drive Full Speed Into a Parking Lot? (EgoTV)

A day after it was reported that Aleksander Emelianenko had been fired by M-1 Global due to repeated violations of his contract, the Russian heavyweight has announced his retirement from MMA at the age of 31. Emelianenko released the following statement on his Facebook page (translation via MMA Lives Here):

Dear fans,
I want to thank you for your support, for having supported me in spite of all that they say about me. Unfortunately, I will not be able to perform in the ring because of health problems caused by old injuries. Of course, as an athlete it’s a hard time. I am grateful to my fans and partners for their support, for believing in me, and I am grateful to my detractors. Your attitude always made me move forward and achieve new things. I realise now I was hit by a barrage of accusations and criticisms, not directly related to my job. Unfortunately, there will always be people who want you in bad situations to score points. I don’t want to comment on anything, explain or justify. Each of us in life does good and does bad – that is our nature. I think I did a lot for the sport and I hope my example has drawn a lot of young people to the gym. Otherwise, God will judge us all, in time. Now I want to give the publicity away. I want to take care of my health, my family, which I lost, and my daughter, who I love very much. Perhaps I will see you again. Thank you! Be well and believe in God!
Your AE

Tall, mulleted, and covered in Russian gangster tattoos, Aleksander Emelianenko in his prime was just as intimidating a presence as his older brother Fedor. “The Grim Reaper” kicked off his MMA career in October 2003 with a decision win over Assuerio Silva at PRIDE Bushido 1, and went on to compile a 6-2 record within the PRIDE promotion, where Fedor ruled as heavyweight champion. Though losses to top heavyweights Mirko Cro Cop and Josh Barnett stymied his momentum, Aleks was responsible for some of the most memorable knockouts in PRIDE history. Witness: