(Tim really needs to stop taking advice from German teenagers about how to look cool and pick up chicks.)

We’re approaching a monumental weekend for MMA fans. One great advantage is the opportunity to throw away even more money betting on it. And here you thought you couldn’t go bankrupt just by staying home this weekend. With so many fights, we’ll just focus on the interesting ones, though interesting could mean a lot of different things when it comes to gambling.

For odds on the big fights, Bodog has you covered. For undercard action, check out Bookmaker. Don’t forget our always helpful MMA Betting For ‘Tards if you need to brush up.

Fedor Emelianenko (-400) vs. Tim Sylvia (+275)

It’s no surprise to see Fedor as the favorite here. Even amid rumors that he may be injured, he’s still Fedor. But if you’re of the opinion that Sylvia has just the right skill set to dethrone him, this line is about as good as you can hope for. Crazier things have happened (the Hindenburg explosion, that was pretty crazy, right?), and small action could still yield big results. You just don’t want to make Tim Sylvia your only hope for winning your girlfriend’s engagement ring back from that creepy guy who fleeced you on the Matt Hughes-Thiago Alves fight. You know the guy. He operates out of the Super 8. Doesn’t matter what city you live in.

Anderson Silva (-500) vs. James Irvin (+350)

Now here’s where you find out just what kind of a degenerate gambler you are. You don’t really believe that James Irvin is going to win — honestly, you don’t — but if you manage to talk yourself into it you must really be addicted to that rush.

Simply put, even with these odds Irvin is a worse bet than Sylvia. Sylvia’s size advantage might actually mean something, plus Fedor may or may not be injured/rusty. Silva is none of those things. That’s the story the odds are telling, and it’s the plain truth. Get it through your head and then move on.

Andrei Arlovski (-275) vs. Ben Rothwell (+215)

When the Affliction: Banned media tour came to the Trump Towers in New York City, it was hard to say who the fans were lined up to see. With so many international MMA stars on one stage, it was a toss-up. But by the time they left there was no question who had stolen the show and cemented himself in the minds of all those present. As soon as Josh Barnett took the microphone in hand, it was almost a foregone conclusion.

Now the talented heavyweight and star pro wrestler in Japan talks to Cage Potato about his career in the U.S. and abroad, about his upcoming fight against Pedro Rizzo, and much more.

CagePotato.com: Thanks for talking with me, Josh. Pedro Rizzo seems like an interesting opponent for you right now. What have you been doing to get ready for him?

Same thing I always do, training really hard in all aspects of mixed martial arts. I’ve got some really good sparring partners, like Babalu, Jamie Fletcher, and Ben Jones, who are in here every day, helping me out. I’ve also been working with a couple of boxing coaches, too, just to help work on some of the standup aspects because I wouldn’t mind knocking [Rizzo] out. So a guy named Oscar Muniz and Marvin Cooke have been helping me, and it’s just a pretty steady training camp.

Are you worried that if you go in there planning on standing and striking with him that you won’t use your grappling, where you seem to have the edge?

There’s no reason to worry. There’s no place for worry or doubt in anything that you do in the fight. I know I can fight smart. I’m going to go out there and see what’s available. I’m not going to force any particular game plan on to the fight. But I will make things go my way. There’s no worries, no concerns.

Affliction has mentioned having the winner of your fight face the winner of the Fedor-Sylvia fight at their next event. Do you think that’s really going to happen, and are you going to be paying close attention to all the other heavyweight fights on the card, just in case?

In this NBC Sports video Andrew Falzon from MMA Payout looks at this weekend’s UFC vs. Affliction battle by breaking down the Affliction card and its chances for success against the free Silva vs. Irvin event. Aside from him referring to Tim Sylvia as “Emelianenko’s first real challenge” (um, Nogueira? who beat Sylvia recently? ringing any bells?) he does a great job as an on-camera commentator.

But all this media attention on Affliction and their struggle against the UFC’s counter-programming efforts only makes me wonder if it’s not really helping Affliction get the word out about their event. If the thinking behind putting a free event on Spike TV the very same night is that it will keep casual fans from paying for Affliction, it seems like the UFC also risks drawing attention to the Affliction event as media outlets inevitably run stories on the raison d’être of this UFC show.

That’s not to say those same fans who learn of Affliction by hearing about the UFC’s anti-Affliction show will all shell out the pay-per-view bucks, but it does help put Affliction on the map. Maybe the better tact would be to kill them with silence, though that’s never been Dana White’s way. Especially when it comes to t-shirt guy.

(Dude, Fedor, it clearly says “Do Not Touch”.)

Let’s not kid ourselves, MMA fans. Whatever you think of Tim Sylvia, whatever opinion you may have formed based on reading about him in Matt Hughes’ autobiography or seeing him on “Blind Date”, the fact remains that he’s a legitimate top heavyweight. He’s big, he’s strong, his overall game has improved dramatically over the last few years, and while he may not always look great doing it, he knows how to win.

So let’s not pretend that this fight on Saturday is a cakewalk for Fedor Emelianenko. Sylvia is a dangerous opponent for anyone, regardless of where they stand in the heavyweight rankings. But we also can’t pretend that Affliction would look at a Sylvia victory the same way they would a Fedor one.

Let’s start with the obvious reason. The biggest fight on the horizon for Affliction right now is Fedor-Couture. There are roadblocks aplenty at the moment, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen or that it wouldn’t be a difference-maker in their long term viability. But if Sylvia comes out on top, that match instantly loses a lot of its appeal. Gone is Fedor’s aura of invincibility, his mystique, his innate talent for making any fight seem like history in the making.

But that’s not even the biggest problem. If Fedor loses, that means Sylvia wins. That means you’re stuck with him. Then what?

Affliction just posted this “Countdown” video to their skull-heavy YouTube page, introducing the main event fighters in their July 19th debut card. Special attention is given to Tim Sylvia’s troubled upbringing, and his alcoholic, abusive mother. Not sure if they’re trying to turn the Maine-iac into a sympathetic figure or something, but it’s probably too little too late. (If both his parents were abusive alcoholics, then maybe…) You should also check out the “stadium preview” below if you’re curious about where Megadeth will be set up in relation to the ring.

(In Russia, knee blows out *you*!)

— Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic has pulled out of DREAM.5 (July 21st; Osaka, Japan) due to nagging injuries to his elbow and knee, as well as an absence of opponents; Mighty Mo Siligia, who was slated to replace Jerome LeBanner against Filipovic, recently withdrew from the event. Cro Cop expects to be ready to compete at DREAM.6 on September 23rd. “I would really like to fight Alistair Overeem, we all know why and I won’t let it go,” Filipovic said. “My career is far from being over, I’ll be fighting some strong competitors soon again and hopefully I’ll meet Fedor in the ring once more in 2009.”

— Speaking of Fedor, Michael Bisping claims that the Last Emperor will be going into his July 19th Affliction fight against Tim Sylvia less than 100%. “It’s going to be good to see if Fedor is still the man but I’ve heard on the grapevine from inside sources that he could be injured,” Bisping told The Sun. “But this is time for Fedor to step up. Everyone knows what Tim Sylvia is all about but Fedor’s had an aura about him for a long time.”

UFC Fight Night 14 – Watch more free videos

Here’s the UFC’s ad for their anti-Affliction show on July 19, which is now being billed as “UFC: Silva vs. Irvin”. If you think it’s purely a coincidence that they’ve opted to use language like “best fighter on the planet” with reference to a free event featuring Anderson Silva, while meanwhile Fedor Emelianenko fights elsewhere on the same night, then you haven’t been paying attention.

In politics, this would be a great example of using code words to send a message to certain demographics without alienating others. In this scenario, that demographic is hardcore fans, and the message is clear: Anderson Silva is a better pound-for-pound fighter than Fedor, plus our show is free.

For the more casual fans, they also manage to justify showing Chuck Liddell, “Rampage” Jackson, and light heavyweight champ Forrest Griffin (still feels weird to type that) simply by mentioning the “stacked” 205-pound division. Well-played, UFC.

Unless the Affliction pay-per-view numbers exceed all expectations, the UFC can also take credit for torpedoing their event once it’s all over. Something tells me Dana White has his ‘I told you so’ speech ready to go.

From MMANews.com:

With a potential win over Rashad how do close do you think you are to getting a title shot?
Chuck Liddell: After I beat Rashad I think I deserve the next title shot.

Would you every welcome a fight between yourself and [Anderson] Silva?
Sure, it could be a good fight but I think I’m too big for him. He’s a tough fighter and I have all the respect in the world for him but I think I’d be too much for him.

I know you’ve briefly talked about it before but would yourself ever entertain the thought of moving up in weight class?
Yeah, I have talked about that a bunch of times, when I get done with what I wanna do at light-heavyweight I’ll be looking to move up in the weight class.

If you could have an open weight fight with anyone in the world who would it be?
I’d really like to get a shot at Fedor; I think I match up well with him.

The Iceman faces Rashad Evans at UFC 88 (September 6th, Atlanta) and is “hoping to be close to 100%” by the time of the fight, following a hamstring injury which he’s still recovering from. All respect to Chuck, but beating Evans shouldn’t put him next in line for a title shot, with the UFC’s 205-pound division as crowded as it is — though an additional win over Mauricio Rua at the end of the year would certainly clinch it. The thought of Chuck at heavyweight is compelling, as is a potential light-heavyweight match with Anderson Silva (who probably wouldn’t be too small to deal with Liddell, no matter what he says). And is this the first time Liddell has mentioned an interest in fighting Fedor? And when he said that, did a silent alarm go off, alerting the UFC’s lawyers that they may soon have another “situation” on their hands?

Click for larger image!

This weekend, I decided to go through all 13,768 comments that CagePotato has received from readers since we launched seven-ish months ago, and classify them into a multi-colored pie-chart. (I also did some totally crazy, badass stuff this weekend. I swear.) The results are above. It’s possible — though very unlikely — that I left out some significant categories, so if you notice any omissions, holler in the comments section.

(LOFL!)

— Brock Lesnar has brought in seven-time BJJ world champion Rodrigo “Comprido” Medeiros to help out with his ground game in preparation for his match against Heath Herring at UFC 87 (August 9th, Minneapolis). Lesnar by flying cockswordplata?

— UFC: Silva vs. Irvin is now officially listed on UFC.com’s events page, while UFC 88 (September 6th, Atlanta) has been dubbed “Breakthrough”; no matches are listed yet other than the Liddell/Evans headliner.

— Fightline.com reports that Jared Shaw has confirmed Kimbo Slice and Brett Rogers will fight in October. The fight will “more than likely” take place on CBS. A Nick Diaz/KJ Noons match is being discussed as a co-main event for the same card.

— Affliction: Banned will feature a performance by Megadeth (!), who will be rockin’ out at key points throughout the event. Hopefully that means they’ll be playing the end of “Peace Sells” during Fedor’s ring entrance, and then “Killing Is My Business” during the main event fight itself.

— A “Japan and South Korea friendship event” called Kakutougi Taikai GLADIATOR has been scheduled for August 16th in Okayama, Japan, featuring a headlining bout between crusty American legend Don Frye and Japanese middleweight Ikuhisa “The Punk” Minowa, aka “Minowaman.” Minowa is no stranger to freak show bouts, as he already holds wins over Paulo Cesar Silva, Eric “Butterbean” Esch, Bum Chan Kang, and Phil Baroni.

(‘This shirt, she is…how you say…totally sick, yes?’)

In case you were wondering how the people at Affliction are feeling about the UFC’s all out counter-programming assault, USA Today’s Sergio Non has an article that looks at where the clothier/MMA organization stands right now. Turns out that with a month still to go, they aren’t in bad shape.

VP Tom Atencio claims they’ve sold between 7,000 and 8,000 tickets so far, which is good news this far from the event if it’s true. Anaheim’s Honda Center holds around 17,000. That’s about on par with the Prudential Center in New Jersey, where Elite XC sold just over 8,000 tickets when all was said and done.

Affliction’s big marketing push is planned for two weeks before the show, and as for the impact of UFC Fight Night 14, Atencio is planning on the miracle of modern technology to protect him:

“As far as I’m concerned, people are going to Tivo (the UFC show) and watch our fight, and then go back to (watch UFC) later,” he said. “Obviously you’re going to get those people who are going to watch something for free (rather) than pay. … But our card is definitely stacked. I don’t know anybody that can say it’s not a great card.”

That’s a valid strategy as it relates to hardcore fans. We’ll see whether it will work on those people we always hear about who only know the UFC.

Atencio is right when he says the card is stacked, though it’s stacked largely with fighters who appeal to that hardcore fan base and much less so to the casual fan, who may or may not have heard the name Fedor at any time in his life. Their success with this show — particularly with the UFC going up against them on Spike TV — could tell us a lot about the actual interest level in MMA as a sport, rather than simply the UFC as a brand.

(Props: MMA Payout)

Sure, it’s a hacky concept that you’ve probably seen before on an MMA forum, but we haven’t weighed in on it yet. Plus, Fighthype recently put together a list on the same theme that really sent us over the edge. (Lyoto Machida and Evan Tanner made their list, among other jacked and crazy-looking sonsabitches.) So without further ado, here are the fighters we wouldn’t mind coming across in a dark alley. Keep in mind that placement on this list is no judgment on their abilities as fighters, just on the fact that they look better suited to customer service or fast food restaurant management than cage fighting. Happy Friday.

***

9. Luke Cummo

8. Emmanuel Yarborough

7. Fedor Emelianenko and Wanderlei Silva (only when in drag)

(Randy Couture: Even his cauliflower ear is smiling.)

Yesterday, the District Court of Dallas County, Texas, denied three motions filed by Zuffa to stay, delay, and/or dismiss HDNet’s challenge of Couture’s promotional contract with the UFC. Zuffa claims that Couture still owes them two bouts on his contract, while Couture is arguing that the contract will expire in July, after its 16-month term concludes.

The decision will now allow HDNet’s motion for a summary judgment to be heard on June 2nd. HDNet first brought this suit against Zuffa in February, stating that they had a business arrangement with Couture that required a decision on his promotional contract status with the company. If this leg of Couture’s legal marathon goes his way, he’ll be an official free-agent once the one-year non-compete clause in his employment contract expires in October, and will finally be able to set up a fight with his personal white whale, Fedor Emelianenko.

In a separate lawsuit being heard in Las Vegas, Zuffa is suing Couture for breach of contract stemming from his (and Xtreme Couture’s) former association with the IFL. Zuffa is also seeking a ruling on Couture’s fight contract, though a judgment in Texas could affect Zuffa’s case. Or, for you law school geeks, “due to the legal doctrines of res judicata, collateral estoppel, and the full faith and credit clause, the first ruling issued will most likely decide the matter.” I don’t know what that means, and I don’t want to know. But come on, Zuffa — can we just let Fedor kick Randy’s ass so we can all move on with our lives?

(Shaun Parker vs Tyler Bryan @ LFC 25. You can’t make this stuff up. Props to MMAScraps)

(From The Iron Ring: Some dude tries to secure an armbar and gets his head dribbled.)

(“FU2,” available only at Triumph United.)

Good goddamn work, people: With over 150 entries, this week’s caption contest was our most popular ever, and so many of them were LOLworthy. I must say I was surprised by how many of you referenced Brad Pitt and Angelina Joile — I’m not judging, I was just a little taken aback, that’s all. Thanks again to Triumph United for making this possible. Now onto the honorable mentions…

MMA-hole: It was at that point that Fedor began to wonder…were his wife and Sakuraba more than just “friends”?

Brad: Fedor and Aleks stop by the Affliction sweat shop to thank the tailors.

Toner Breath: SPUTNIPS!! [Ed. note: I racked my brain trying to think of a good one-word pun for this picture. Toner Breath's is kind of horrible, but I give him mad props for trying. And judging from the exclamation points, he was also pretty psyched that he thought of it.]

Mike: It’s cheaper than a graphing calculator.

Erick: “Phuk An’ Run is the little-known Chinese martial art of having a kid and making your opponent raise them.”

Kimbo’s Lice: “…The stars signify that I’ll never be brought to my knees. This spiderweb on my elbow signifies that I’ve committed murder in service to the brotherhood of thieves. The grim reaper and baby on my back…you know what, I probably shouldn’t be telling you kids all this.”

And the winners are…

Dude, how slick is this? I didn’t care about Mike Whitehead until just now, when I learned that he enjoys head-butting through glass. They may have spelled “Lindland” wrong, but Josh Barnett’s classic throat-slashing thing and the voice of Michael Buffer more than make up for it. Whatever you’re selling, we’ll take two!

(Props: MMAScraps)

Here’s the thing about those Triumph United comment contests we’ve been running: Finding/deciding on the finalists was a pain in the ass, and then all you people would do is bitch about our lame sense of humor. So we’re going to switch it up this week with a good old-fashioned caption contest. The two readers who submit the funniest captions to the above picture by 4 p.m. ET on Friday will each get a Triumph United t-shirt of their choice. And seriously? Only those who enter will be allowed to complain later. You’re on my last good nerve right now…

(“Union,” only available at TU.)

(WEC bantamweight champ Miguel Torres [33-1] defends his belt against DEEP/Pancrase vet Yoshiro Maeda [23-4-2] at WEC 34 on June 1st. Props to MMAMania.)

(Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Quinton Jackson; Rampage’s ballsy but unsuccessful PRIDE debut, from PRIDE 15, 7/29/01.)

(“We’re here to pick up your daughter.”)

No, it won’t be a re-match of their BodogFight brawl — on Friday, Fedor Emelianenko announced on his website that he would indeed be facing Tim Sylvia on July 19th in the United States, a match that was somewhat called into question when Vadim Finkelchtein started going on about unsigned contracts. Fedor also claims he’ll be fighting in October (date/location/opponent TBA) and New Year’s Eve in Japan (opponent TBA).

Matt Lindland added another piece to the puzzle during HDNet’s SportFight XXII broadcast on Friday night, confirming that he’ll also be competing on the July 19th card, and that it will take place in Dallas under the Affliction banner. Though an opponent for Lindland has yet to be named, The Law named Murilo Bustamante (who choked out Lindland at UFC 37) and David Terrell (who knocked out Lindland at UFC 49) as guys he’d like to fight. According to FiveOunces, Andrei Arlovski, Josh Barnett, Ben Rothwell, and Aleksander Emelianenko are rumored to be fighting on the Affliction card as well.

In unrelated fight-booking news, Frank Trigg has denied earlier reports that he’s signed to participate in DREAM’s middleweight tournament. Said Trigg:

“I haven’t heard anything from [DREAM] in about a week and a half. We started talking about a month ago, but lately, there’s been no communication…We have no contract, and we have no numbers we’re even close to agreeing on. Like I mentioned on TAGG, my wife is very pregnant and can’t fly. She’d miss the whole tournament, and that’s a big deal to take a fight without her there by my side.”

By Ariel Helwani, courtesy of our new content partners at MMARated.

Whether it’s his legal issues with the UFC or all the fighters competing under the Xtreme Couture banner, one might surmise that Randy Couture will one day be considered the most influential fighter to ever compete in the sport.

While everyone has had a chance to ask Couture about his issues with the UFC we tried to conduct an interview with him where we talked about everything but those problems. Sadly, we only lasted eight minutes and thirteen seconds. Oh well, it was worth a shot.

Ariel Helwani: Hey Randy, haven’t heard much about you. Been up to anything special lately?
Randy Couture: Just been cornering a lot of my fighters and doing some voiceover stuff for “The Scorpion King” movie we have coming out at the end of the summer. But I’m really excited about David Mamet’s movie “Redbelt.” Just saw the premiere and got to see the movie for the first time last Monday and I thought it came out fantastic.

By the way, that was a really poor attempt at humor on my part. Obviously, we are all well up-to-speed on everything going down in your life…
(laughs)

But speaking of “Redbelt,” I always thought Tim Allen’s casting in the movie was an odd choice for this kind of movie. What did you think of the job he did in the film?
He played a character named “Chet” who is an action-hero actor who everybody assumes, because of his Hollywood films, that he is a real tough guy. However, he’s really not because he’s got a lot of baggage and several other issues but I thought this was kind of a departure for him to play a little more serious character — it wasn’t a comedic role. He did a fantastic job. I thought he pulled it off great.

Anything else on the entertainment front involving you that we should know about?
Looks like Labor Day weekend “Big Stan” will be finally coming out. That’s the Rob Schneider film that I got a chance to work on two summers ago. I’m really excited about that movie. I think it’s going to be a typical Rob Schneider movie and everybody’s going to get a big kick out of it. And then obviously later this summer, August time frame, they’re saying that “The Scorpion King” will be finished up and coming out. I’ve been reading for some more parts but haven’t really landed the next gig in the acting genre but we did pitch a two-hour pilot to Spike. Kind of a military-esque drama that I will be starring in when they finish writing it and then we get to shoot it.

Will the fact that the UFC has such strong ties with Spike ruin that show’s chances of seeing the light of day?
You know, obviously Dana could get involved if he wanted to mess things up but I think if he wanted to do that he would have done it already at this point. This has already been pitched and taken on by Spike so that may be tough to do at this stage but anything’s possible.

Just as the UFC couldn’t come to terms with Fedor Emelianenko partly because they wouldn’t allow him to compete in the Sambo tournaments that he periodically steamrolls through, a deal with top 10 middleweight and ATT member Denis Kang was also nixed over an equally minor request for competitive freedom. As MMAJunkie reports:

“Yes, we were (negotiating with the UFC),” Kang said. “I would have loved to fight in the UFC. I would love to fight in North America and not have to travel 12 hours for a change. At the end of the day, it came down to where I want to be represented at the moment and who was offering the best contract.”

The best contract, it seems, was one that would allow the half-Korean fighter to compete in South Korea’s SpiritMC organization on an annual basis. Kang has fought 10 times in the organization since 2004, winning all 10 fights, and is still the SpiritMC heavyweight champion.

However, the UFC requires exclusive contracts, which prohibit fighters from competing in other organizations. Such a limitation would have alienated many of Kang’s fans.

“SpiritMC was only asking that I fight for them once a year,” Kang said. “That’s one of the things that I really, really wanted to do — to keep my SpiritMC title and keep my fan base in Korea, which is really important to me.”

We’ve said it before: Now is not the time for the UFC to be stonewalling in regards to exclusivity, when their fighters are beginning to smell the money elsewhere (and specifically when there are virtually no contenders left in the UFC’s middleweight division). We understand the need for exclusive contracts — you wouldn’t want one of your stars building value for another brand, or getting injured while fighting elsewhere, or taking an image-harming loss against lesser competition. But there are exceptions where the benefits would far outweigh the costs. Even if Fedor Emelianenko were to lose in a Sambo tournament halfway around the world (an unlikely scenario to begin with), there are few American UFC fans who would see it, or care all that much, and the same goes for Denis Kang crushing cans in Korea. SpiritMC is not a competitor to the UFC; technically, Sambo isn’t even the same sport. Wouldn’t the UFC’s wisest move be to start handling these things on a case-by-case basis?

(“We just think this is a smarter fight for Fedor right now.”)

In a comment released through his website M1MixFight.com, Fedor Emelianenko’s manager Vadim Finkelchtein dumped a bucket of cold water directly onto the balls of everyone who started breathing heavy at yesterday’s report of an imminent Fedor/Maine-iac match:

“At the moment we can’t certainly say the bout will take place come July because the contract is not signed. However, the both parties are involved in the negotiation process and we are about to break the finishing tape although we haven’t come to an agreement concerning every detail as of yet”

Vadim, I swear to God, if you fuck this up. Of course, the details they’re still hashing out likely have to do with money and the ring-vs.-cage thing. But the thought of Vadim playing hardball in negotiations when Fedor finally has the chance to face a top-ten heavyweight outside of the UFC is completely infuriating. For all of Finkelchtein/Echteld’s efforts to protect Emelianenko’s value (i.e., ensure he doesn’t take fights he can lose), they don’t seem to realize that Fedor’s value drops further each month that he doesn’t face credible opponents. You gotta give a little, guys! For the record, MMAPayout is reporting that Emelianenko has already been offered over $2 million per fight from Affliction.

But Finkelchtein’s statement wasn’t the only interesting bit posted on M1MixFight this week…

(“Yaaaaaaaaay!”)

Sherdog breaks it:

Top ranked heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko will fight Tim Sylvia on July 19. The Russian mixed martial arts champion confirmed the bout to Sherdog.com on Tuesday.

“[Sylvia] is a good fighter, a strong fighter, the former UFC heavyweight champion, which is important,” Emelianenko said via telephone from Stary Oskol, Russia. “I am looking forward to fighting him and training hard for this fight.”

While Emelianenko was short on details, Sherdog.com has learned through sources close to the negotiations that Fedor-Sylvia would headline a card tentatively scheduled for the American Airlines Arena in Dallas, the home base of HDNet Fights.

HDNet Fights CEO Andrew Simon declined to comment on the report, however sources indicate the bout will air on the Mark Cuban-owned network and is rumored to be promoted by Affliction, a clothing brand closely tied to MMA.

Emelianenko hasn’t faced an elite-level heavyweight since Mirko Filipovic at PRIDE Final Conflict in August 2005; we can’t wait to see where his skills currently stand, and if he really deserves to top our HW rankings. An interesting side-note to this booking is Monte Cox, who recently parted ways with Fedor when M-1 Global became Adrenaline MMA. Even though the fight won’t be held under the Adrenaline banner, Cox is still Tim Sylvia’s manager, which means he’ll still be getting paid at least 10% of a shit-ton of money. That, my friends, is how a smart gambler plays.

More on this story as it develops…

(Unfortunately, his fight with “Da Spyder” won’t be a pick-axe death-match.)

— Fedor Emelianenko recently carried the Olympic torch in St. Petersburg. There were no survivors.

— In a match where the loser may have to re-think their current career path, Kendall Grove and Evan Tanner have been booked to face each other at the Ultimate Fighter 7 finale on June 21st in Las Vegas. Grove, the middleweight winner from the third season of TUF, has dropped back-to-back contests against Patrick Cote and Jorge Rivera, while Tanner has lost three of his last four UFC matches, most recently a second-round KO loss to Yushin Okami at UFC 82. By the way, Tanner’s blog is back up, after being taken down temporarily in the wake of his gambling bender post.

— Kenny Florian will join Mike Goldberg in the broadcast booth at UFC 83 (April 19th, Montreal), filling in for Joe Rogan, who will be unable to attend due to previous obligations. We look forward to a new voice constantly correcting Goldberg, as well as less references to the “rape choke.”

— Kim Couture won her first MMA match on Saturday in Portland, Oregon, taking care of Jessica Cruz via ground-and-pound TKO at 1:43 of the third round. “It was a good fight for Kim because Cruz was scrappy,” Randy Couture said. “You don’t want your first fight to be too easy, but you don’t want to be over your head either. It was a perfect first fight.” Speaking of Randy, he addressed his future in a new interview with MMAMadness, saying “More than likely, I will end up signing with HDNet and Affliction. Realistically, that is the best option.”

— In his first match since his back exploded during Strikeforce at the Dome in February, Joe Riggs will headline Phoenix Fight: Street Justice on April 26 in Halifax, Nova Scotia, facing Mike Gates (5-3-1). Gates is a natural welterweight, and the match will be fought at a catchweight of 180 lbs.

— You know that skinny, nerdy looking new UFC ref who handled the Hamill/Boetsch and Maynard/Edgar fights at UFN 13? Well, apparently he has an open marriage.

Fedor Emelianenko has won $1.6 million because of the following video:

A Russian chief of a martial arts agency was nailed for fraud for using publicity rights of Fedor without permission. KoreaTimes has the scoop:

Emelianenko filed the suit early this month over a “shoddy” honey commercial that went on air on Korean cable television featuring his image. The world heavyweight champion sought 1.55 billion won ($1.6 million) in compensation from the president of Korea Sambo Federation and the head of a local apiculture agency whose honey product the commercial promoted.

The 19-second commercial starts with a victorious scene of Emelianenko in a wrestling ring, followed by footage of a bee landing on a yellow rape flower. Then the image of a plain, expressionless Emelianenko returns, as he drinks a bottle of the honey and says ” Seonyu Honey is good.”

In the complaint, his representative said, “Fedor is the sports star who commands the image of being the strongest fighter in the world… The defendants damaged Fedor’s image by producing commercials that do not fit his powerful image and were made with shoddy footage.”

Besides the compensation, his representative asked the advertisers to run an apology in mass-circulation newspapers in South Korea.

Dude, I don’t know about honey, but bees are pretty badass.

(Props to MMAMania)

(“Pweeeeez?” Drew Fickett and Jae Suk Lim, courtesy of Sherdog.)

While you were professing your love for big girls…

— The current frontrunner for the role of Guy Kimbo Slice Will KTFO on EliteXC’s First CBS Show is [drumroll...] James Thompson? According to Sam Caplan, EliteXC was trying to book Ron “H20 Man” Waterman for their May 31st jump-off, but a deal could not be reached, and they started talking to “The Colossus.” Thompson has been knocked out three times in his last four fights, most recently at the hands of Brett Rogers at EliteXC: Street Certified. Seasoned ground specialist Waterman would have been a much more credible opponent for Slice, but EliteXC can’t really be faulted for setting up a guaranteed KO for their most marketable asset in their first network broadcast. I’ve already set the betting line for this one: Kimbo Slice (-15,500) v. James Thompson (+12,000). So if you have fifteen grand and want to pick up an easy Benjamin, go for it.

— Dana White’s craftiness is boundless. On the same day that Tim Sylvia was set to announce his release from the UFC and desire to pursue a fight with Fedor Emelianenko, the UFC prez announced that he’d be renewing his efforts to sign Emelianenko to the UFC. As White said: “We want to make the fights the people want to see…We’ll see what we can do as far as (signing Emelianenko) goes.” We tend to think that previous insults will prevent Emelianenko and his managers from ever dealing with the UFC again, but signing Fedor would both provide current heavyweight champ Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira with an opponent (are there any contenders left in that division?) while blocking another UFC refugee (Tim Sylvia this time) from getting a fight with Emelianenko. It’s gotta be worth a shot.

— This guy caused a minor shitstorm on Sherdog by passing on a rumor that Saturday’s Shamrock/Le fight was a planned work, intended to set up a three-part rubber match. B.S.? Obviously. But the thing that gives the “work” theory a scrap of believability is that dramatic leg sweep in the third round. Watch it again: We understand why Le let Shamrock get up afterwards — why risk going to the ground if you’re dominating on the feet? — but would Frank actually turn his back on Le for that long while getting up unless he knew he wasn’t going to get pounced on? And how about Frank’s kick that set up the sweep? Have you ever seen such a half-assed front kick thrown in a pro MMA match? It’s like it was meant to be caught…

(Video courtesy of my Canon PowerShot.)

Bad Indian food, maybe? Check out the 0:16 mark to see him swallow it back down. Lovely.

Oh, and about Timbo’s “huge news”: Yeah, it actually was pretty huge. Here are the brass tacks:

— Tim Sylvia has left the UFC in a “mutual separation” and is officially a free agent.

— He has signed a non-exclusive contract with Adrenaline MMA (formerly M-1 Global). Between his fights with Adrenaline, events in Japan (likely referring to Sengoku and DREAM), and “the Affliction show,” he expects to fight 5-6 times per year.

— Adrenaline plans on holding its first event on June 14th in Chicago. Ben Rothwell has also signed to the organization.

— Notable Tim quote #1: “I’m out of the UFC for a couple years, and maybe I go back. I want to end my career in the UFC…Right now, this is the best thing for me.”

— Notable Tim quote #2: “There’s a guy out there named Fedor who I’d like to fight, and I think the only way that’s gonna happen is by me leaving the UFC.”

Holy crap! Can you imagine if Tim got a crack at Fedor before Randy Couture? It seems a little shocking that Dana White would let Tim leave the UFC without putting up a fight (Sylvia had one match left on his current contract), but maybe this is just an elaborate scheme to screw Randy. Dana, you brilliant asshole!

(“Hey, shit happens, right?”)

Contradicting his earlier claims that M-1 Global’s relationship with Fedor Emelianenko was still A-OK, Monte Cox recently went on Sherdog’s Savage Dog Show to set the record straight: Cox and Sibling Entertainment have parted ways with Emelianenko, and the “M-1″ name is now wholly under control by Emelianenko’s managers. But even though their marquee fighter is gone, the former American faction of M-1 still intends to keep working towards putting on its first MMA show. As Cox told Sherdog:

“The group that formed M-1 Global is still together and we’re going to remain together and put on an MMA event. It won’t be under the name M-1 Global because that is definitely associated with Emelianenko Fedor and the Russians, and we’ve come to an agreement that we’re going to part ways…I am looking at June 14 to do our first show in Chicago…It won’t be the UFC. We don’t have that kind of money to throw away. Now, without Fedor, I expect the show in Chicago to turn a profit.”

Cox also admitted that Emelianenko never signed a contract with M-1 Global; Fedor only signed a letter of intent that prevented him from competing outside of M-1 Global during contract negotiations:

The body of M-1 Global isn’t even cold yet, and MMA organizations with money to burn are already hot on Fedor Emelianenko’s heels. Two separate reports have surfaced hinting at where Emelianenko may fight next. First, from Nokaut.com:

A reliable source has confirmed ProElite, Inc. has offered Russian heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko (27-1) a four-fight, 18-month contract…The contract calls for Emelianenko’s first two fights in the promotion to broadcast on American television network CBS as a part of the recently inked deal between ProElite and the TV giant. The final two fights would air on pay-per-view and share proceeds with Emelianenko.

M-1 Global Vice President Brian Patton denies the earlier report that Emelianenko was never under contract to M-1 Global, and ProElite’s offer seems to be on the same page, stipulating that Emelianenko will be announced in ProElite fights as “M-1 Global’s Fedor Emelianenko.”

Elsewhere, the still-sketchy partnership between Oscar De La Hoya’s Golden Boy Promotions and Affliction Clothing may have approached the Last Emperor as well. According to an article on 5thRound:

[T]hey already have Matt “The Law” Lindland signed to a three-fight contract, and are chasing after a few other big name fighters as well. Fedor Emelianenko has been linked with the new organization, but according to Inside MMA they are also looking to sign Andrei Arlovski, Josh Barnett, Ben Rothwell and Aleksander Emelianenko.

Part of us hopes that Fedor can sign non-exclusive deals with both of these outfits (and maybe others) so he can regularly be involved in superfights that would be broadcast on CBS and HBO. But we can’t shake the feeling that a fighter needs to be committed to a single organization for his fights to really matter. What made Fedor a star in PRIDE, and Randy Couture a star in the UFC? The belt. And what do you accomplish by defeating someone in a one-off match promoted by Golden Boy/Affliction? A truckload of money, yes. The knowledge that you beat Fighter X, also yes. But if there’s no system involving contenders, title shots, and championship belts, question marks will always remain in your legacy. Anyway, just something to consider. A more open, promotional model may turn out to be better for MMA’s elite, big-named fighters, but will it really be better for the sport?

(Props: Bloody Elbow, Fightlinker)

Seriously! We can’t embed it, but go to their website and brace yourself. Just look at the partial cast of characters:

Ozzy!

GSP!

Quinton “Money” Jackson!

This terrifying clown!

Angry Randy!

A metal singer (the dude from Lamb of God, maybe?) with some truly breathtaking dreads!

I mean, fucking look at those things!

Babyface Barnett!

Again with the clown!

Fedor “Sleepy Boy” Emelianenko!

…and Dave Mustaine! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!