MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: Fight of the Day

Fight of the Day: Paul Daley Puts on a Thai Plum Clinic Against Jimmy Pocket Lukasz Chlewicki at Cage Warriors 57

Remember when we told you that Paul Daley was scheduled to slaughter some poor Polack at Cage Warriors 57 last weekend? Well, as luck would have it, he all but slaughtered some poor Polack at Cage Warriors 57 last weekend. Crazy, right?

To his credit, +800 underdog Lukasz Chlewicki didn’t seem too afraid to stand and bang with “Semtex,” which when you look at Daley’s highlight reel, is akin to sticking your foot in a bear trap and hoping to win the Boston Marathon. Unfortunately, Chlewicki’s persistent clinch work would turn out to be the cause of his demise, as the visibly larger Daley would use the opportunities to put on a Muay Thai clinic. Punishing elbows and vicious knees befell Chlewicki until a Marvin Eastman-esque goat vagina was opened up on the right side of his shiny, bald head, forcing the ringside physician to call the fight between the first and second round.

Chin up, Lukasz. You might have had your ass kicked by one of the best ass-kickers outside of the UFC, but let’s look at the positives:

1) You ended the fight in the same state of matter as you began it in.

2) You were able to chew solid foods the next day.

3) You were fighting in a cage.

-J. Jones

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“Fight” of the Day: Pretty Much the Most Pathetic Goddamn Thing You Will Ever Witness


(Props: MiddleEasy via MMeh)

Never in our life did we think we would witness a combat sports performance more embarrassing than Nick “Turbo Tax” Capes’ dive against former NFL defensive end Ray Edwards last February. We were wrong. We were so goddamn wrong.

Perhaps all the years spent covering the travesty that is Bob Sapp have desensitized us to the art of the flop. Perhaps we’re just getting too old for this shit. But in all of Sapp’s positively miserable performances, we never once saw him, as our buddies over at MiddleEasy so eloquently put it, “tap to a sprawl.” Sure, he’s tapped to strikes, a takedown, and been knocked out by a phantom punch or two in his time, but this…this is somehow worse.

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Fight of the Day: Tyrone Spong Knocks Out Remy Bonjasky at GLORY 5

You remember how earlier, we were listing everything that was wrong with The Blackzilians while simultaneously stating that not everything is wrong with The Blackzilians? Case in point: Tyrone Spong, the world-renowned kickboxing powerhouse who joined the Florida-based camp prior to his successful MMA debut at World Series of Fighting 1. Given The Blackzilians “you are your own coach” philosophy, one could not ask for a better striker to spar with on a daily basis than Spong, who showcased his skills last Saturday by knocking out kickboxing legend Remy Bonjasky in the second round of their headlining bout at GLORY 5.

In the first round, Spong was content to take the lengthy Bonjasky’s legs out from under him with a series of punishing low kicks. Luckily, judges in the kickboxing world view leg kicks as something other than an annoyance, so Spong was awarded the round unanimously. The second round was an entirely different story, however, as both men opted to throw the kitchen sink at one another until one of them fell over. That man was Bonjasky, who crumbled to the mat following a vicious right hook by Spong. And just like that, it was good night my anus Irene, and another win for Spong over one of kickboxing’s greatest fighters.

We’ve thrown a full video of the fight above, so check it out if you get your jollies watching legends fall from grace. I’m going to go have a good cry.

-J. Jones

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“Fight” of the Day: Soa Palelei Destroys Sean McCorkle at AFC 4


(Palelei vs. McCorkle, as reenacted by The Incredible Hulk and the mythical God Loki, respectively. The actual video is after the jump, but this is basically what happened.) 

When we last checked in on Sean “Big Sexy” McCorkle, he had just lost a cardio battle to an amorphous blob and vowed to retire from the sport if he ever gave such a pathetic showing again. Unfortunately for Sean, his next scheduled fight was against Soa “The Hulk” Palelei — a fellow UFC veteran who was far more dangerous than the tomato cans McCorkle has padded his record with over the years — at AFC 4 last weekend. Fortunately for Sean, his piss poor cardio had absolutely nothing to do with his downfall this time out, so at least he won’t have to go back on his word. It’s a small victory, sure, but one that most of us would probably cherish if we flew all the way to Australia to land roughly zero punches and get smashed through the canvas by Palelei’s megaton fists of fury like McCorkle did.

Video after the jump. 

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Fight of the Day: Jordan Mein Utterly Obliterates Forrest Petz at Score Fighting Series 7

You guys remember when Jordan Mein elbow-raped Evangelista Santos like a God damned Papau New Guinea savage back at Strikeforce: Kharitonov vs. Barnett? Well, he did the same thing again last weekend to Forrest Petz, who is kind of like the poor man’s Jay Hieron, meaning that he is damn near flawless on the local circuit, yet falls apart every time we see him under the bright lights. To be fair, Petz can actually claim a UFC victory under his belt (he’s actually 2-5 lifetime), but Jordan Mein gives not a shit about where you’ve been. He only cares about where you are going to be, which, should you decided to scrap with him, will be crumpled against the cage beneath a hellstorm of elbows that would send Kenny Florian into a jealous, baby-kicking tantrum.

Not unlike Sensodyne’s rapport with American dentists, 9 out of Mein’s last 10 opponents would recommend him to anyone seeking to get their ass kicked. Now that he’s managed to successfully separate himself from Strikeforce’s sinking ship, how long do you think it will be until we see this kid in the UFC?

-J. Jones

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Fight of the Day: Rumina Sato vs. Nico Veressen at “Shoot the Shooto”


(Check out the rest of the fight videos at IronForgesIron.com

An absolute must see bantamweight battle from last weekend’s “Shoot the Shooto 2011″ card, which transpired in Tokyo, Japan and featured none other than Shooto legend Rumina Sato facing off with Belgian born fighter Nico Veressen. Sato, who you may remember as our Technique of the Year holder for 1999, has built his name off legendary battles with top competition like Takanori Gomi, Caol Uno (at the time), Joachim Hansen (again), and Hatsu Hioki. Veressan was 1-0 heading into the bout, with his lone win coming against a fellow 1-0 fighter. Think you know how this one went down? Well, you’d be wrong.

From the start, Sato showcases the mix of mindfuckery and vicious leg attacks that he has become known for, first trying to goad the younger man into a ground match with the infamous Fireside Pose Manuever popularized by Fabricio Werdum before launching into a series of submissions that is nothing short of dazzling. I counted three or four toe holds, an inverted triangle ala Braulio Estima, and maybe a calf slicer attempt thrown in just for fun.

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F.o.t.D: Bas Rutten vs. Ruben Villareal

Bas Rutten had been away from fighting for over seven years when he stepped back into the cage with Ruben “Warpath” Villareal on 7/22/2006 at WFA – King of the Streets. Always a great kicker, Bas took over two minutes before he finally unloaded his tree trunk of a leg. Before that, he methodically circles Warpath and lands an array of well-placed and jarring shots to his victim’s face make-up. Bas could have flown in and crushed Warpath with brute strength, but instead used a lumberjack technique: keep chopping away at the base and eventually the tree will fall. Warpath tries to limp his way back into contention but Bas isn’t having it. The last kick sends the chubby giant to his knees where he’s in so much pain he can barely tap out. And we’d all like to thank Kevin James for showing up.

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