(Props to the UG for the find. Skip to the 1 minute mark for the start of the action.) 

Over the years, we’ve seen all kinds of reactions to the somewhat customary yet completely optional touch of gloves at the beginning of an MMA fight. Manny Gamburyan used the opportunity to kick Jeff Cox in the chest at Fight Night 13 back in 2008, and although he won that fight, “The Anvil” was punished by the karma gods with two straight losses and a pink slip shortly thereafter. Convicted heroin smuggler Paul Kelly attempted a similarly dirty move against Donald Cerrone at UFC 126, then tried acting like he didn’t mean to after he was choked out some seven minutes later. And don’t even get us started on JR Fuller, the patron saint of fake glove-tappers.

Then there are guys like Firuz Karomatov, a Malaysian fighter who, according to his Sherdog profile, stands at 0’0″ and fights at N/Aweight. Karomatov made his professional MMA debut at MFC 6 a couple weeks back, and as is often the case with severely undersized people, he clearly had a chip on his shoulder heading into the fight. And when his opponent, Muhammad Hakim biz Azmi, held his glove out to perform the classic “At Arm’s Length” prank? You better believe that Firuz responded by kicking his bully opponent in the head and blitzkrieging the disrespectful bastard until he lay unconscious on the mat some 15 seconds later.

To be fair, you could make the argument that biz Azmi was not taunting Firuz and was simply trying to be a good sport, but what fun is that? JUSTICE: SERVED.

-J. Jones

Video after the jump.

If we weren’t supposed to be talking about Fallon Fox until her next fight took place, then today the unofficial ban has been lifted. Last night, Fox defeated then 2-1 fighter Allana Jones by way of modified north-south choke at CFA 11. Fox improved her record to 3-0 with the victory, and will now fight Ashlee Evans-Smith for the CFA featherweight tournament championship.

Other than that, there really isn’t much to see here. Believe it or not, a bout between two inexperienced minor-leaguers that was bumped to co-main event status due to the transgender status of one of the participants didn’t produce a memorable scrap.

Also, Allana Jones chose “Dude Looks Like a Lady” as her entrance song.

The video of the fight and commentary are available after the jump.

Ten years ago, Nicauraguan boxer Ricardo Mayorga made headlines with two surprising wins over Vernon Forrest and his unique brand of arrogance complete with trash talk and post-fight, in-ring cigarette smoking. As most all champions eventually do, however, Mayorga would go on to lose and lose frequently.

He was in wars, got beat up and stayed probably boxed on for longer than was healthy. And then, he started talking shit about MMA and picking (verbally, at least) fights with its competitors. There was the Din Thomas fight that never happened and lots of ignorant talk before and after the non-event from Mayorga.

Well, the boxer finally got his MMA bout in yesterday and it was a strange one. Through two rounds, Mayorga got taken down, mounted and controlled easily. However, after defending a triangle choke attempt from his opponent, Mayorga landed a nice lil knee to his foe’s back that – by the guy’s reaction – must have been a dim mak or something.

We’re just one day out from watching knockout artist Jordan Mein take on the resurgent Matt Brown in a bout that appears to have an end of the night bonus all but locked up. Even though Mein is stepping in to fight on short notice, his impressive knockout over Dan Miller during his UFC debut last month has helped make him a 3-1 favorite to win. While we personally think that Brown has a better shot at winning than the oddsmakers are giving him, we wouldn’t be surprised if Mein picked up his eighteenth first round stoppage tomorrow night, either.

What would surprise us is if “The Immortal” got starched as quickly as Hollis Huggins did when he fought Jordan Mein back in 2008. At the time, Huggins was a former minor league football running back who transitioned from being one of the more competent semi-pro footballers to being a horrifically incompetent semi-pro fighter. Huggins spent the first fifteen or so seconds leading with his head while holding his hands around his nipples in a manner that suggested he didn’t realize that Mein was allowed to throw the head kick that should have ended the fight. It took a few completely unnecessary follow-up punches for the referee to finally waive off the action just twenty seconds into the first round.

Video is after the jump

Look, we’re all busy today with our Christmas shopping/football watching/religious obligations/normal Sunday activities to waste too much time not driving to the liquor store before the parking lot fills up, so I’ll make this brief. Bantamweight prospect Cody Land fought James Harrington at featherweight during Disorderly Conduct MMA’s Season’s Beatings card last Friday. Harrington picks the wrong time to drop his hands and is met with a brutal overhand left. The result is equal parts this and this. One forced and awkward, yet obligatory “falling Christmas tree” joke later, and we’re ready for the holiday. Alright homies, let’s get drunk.

The Peruvian Savage last fought at UFC 79 in 2007. Props to MMA-Latino for the image.

While there’s a chance that some of you reading this may not know who Tony DeSouza is, it’s hard not to respect him for what he has done for our sport. The thirty-eight year old Cholitzu practitioner (that’s Cholo Jiu-Jitsu, n00b) complied a 3-3 record in the UFC and a 10-4 record overall until his retirement in 2007. He was the wrestling coach of Team Penn throughout The Ultimate Fighter 5, and the inventor of the Peruvian Necktie.

Oh, and he also stepped up on short notice Thursday night to fill in for one of his injured students, and despite not fighting in five years, submitted Bolivian Luis Fernando in the first round.

As MMA-Latino explained to us in an email, Tony’s student was originally set to fight Luis Fernando on Thursday night. However, a freak accident at their hotel room saw the window fall out and cut his student’s hand and arm, forcing his student to withdraw from the fight [Author Note: "Freak accident" is really putting it mildly here, I imagine]. DeSouza stepped up to take the fight, and despite a respectable effort from Fernando, “The Peruvian Savage” secured a fight-ending choke in just over one minute. Video awaits after the jump.

Yep.

When we last checked in on Drew Fickett, he had moved from Arizona to Florida to enter a rehabilitation facility, and celebrated his forty-two days of sobriety with a knockout loss to Jonatas Novaes at ShoFIGHT 20. Not to add insult to injury, but Fickett said before the fight that he was in very real danger danger of becoming homeless if he didn’t receive his win bonus as well. I wish I was here today to tell you that things have gotten better for him, but that’s not exactly the case.

Fickett met up with undefeated Grudge Training Center prospect Justin Gaethje at last weekend’s Rage in the Cage 163. I’d describe the fight for you, but that’d be a waste of time. Let’s just say that Gaethje is still undefeated, Fickett is now 1-6 in his last seven fights and I’m only writing about this fight because I have lost control of my life.

Video is after the jump.

We’re just hours away from UFC 152, where we will be treated to great fights between our sport’s top athletes. So, to get us in the mood for tonight’s action, let’s take a look at something completely different. Before establishing himself as the destroyer of Tater freakin’ Williams, top XARM heavyweight* Bond Laupua made his MMA debut against renowned crazy person Dan Quinn at Gladiator Challenge: First Strike in October 2009. And despite everything about pitting a future XARM athlete fighter competitor against a wild-eyed Stevia enthusiast seeming legitimate, the fight quickly turned into a bizarre freak show.

(It was at that moment Ryan Hall knew he would have to defend the integrity of both his hoagie and the Denny’s establishment he had chosen to accomodate.) 

William Shakespeare once said, “Justice oft comes on swift legs, and if thou happen to bear witness, make surest thou placeth thine proof on thine Internet for all to see.” Luckily, we managed to stumble across this video of BJJ savant and 2009 ADCC Bronze medalist Ryan Hall choking out a drunken, self proclaimed “psychopath” at a restaurant, and in William’s honor, have placed it below for you all to see.

Join us as we dissect a classic case of “When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong.” 

Props: IronForgesIron.com

When we announced that ONE FC’s second event would feature professional publicity stunt Bob Sapp fighting against UFC veteran (sigh) Rolles Gracie, we offered you a question about the fight: Bad idea, or worst idea? On paper, this meant pitting a one-dimensional, subpar kickboxer fighter impersonator against a one-dimensional grappler. Factor in the complete lack of cardiovascular endurance that both men have exhibited, and we were in for an ugly affair.

Well, that fight went down today in Jakarta, Indonesia. And it was everything that you expected it to be.

After going 0-7 in kickboxing and MMA in 2011, Bob Sapp decided that he needed to change his traditional game plan of “start out strong, get tired, get knocked out”. This time around, Bob Sapp attempted to start the fight early during yesterday’s weigh ins. Like the obese guy who orders medium fries with his twenty piece nuggets and large milkshake instead of large fries, we guess we can applaud him for at least changing something.

(We’re not the only ones who see a woman in a bear suit in the background, right?)

It’s a new week, Potato Nation, and with it brings change. I, for one, will be shedding the DangadaDang “nom de plume” if you will, in favor of my actual name from now on. Will the writing be any gooder? Perhaps, but for every change, something must stay the same, as they say. And in the ever changing landscape that is the current MMA scene, it’s comforting to know that we can count on the stability of at least one thing: Fedor Emelianenko‘s desire to toss around Asian men he outweighs by a good 70 pounds. You get caught with your hand in the (fortune) cookie jar once, it’s forgivable. You get caught twice, and you’re moving into full blown fetish territory, Mr. Emelianenko.

Yes, the former PRIDE heavyweight champion recently appeared on the South Korean TV show, “Star King,” to reenact the end of the Tim Boetsch/David Heath scrap with the help of fast rising featherweight contender Chan Sung Jung. Aside from being a reminder of how much better Asian television shows are than ours (oh MXC, where hast thou gone?), the sparring session is at the minimum a silver lining in the storm cloud of disappointment that was the second UFC on Fox broadcast. Like we said, it’s a new day, and let’s just shed the memory of last weekend’s main card with a good old fashioned freak show exhibition to start the work week, shall we?

Join us after the jump for the glorious video, but for the love of God, turn off your speakers before you do so. If you’ve ever ordered take out from P.F. Chang’s, then you are familiar with the chaos that awaits you.

Kimbo, looking like Rick Ross with slightly better cardio

You know, I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen this happen before.

While you were busy watching UFC 141, Kimbo Slice looked to improve his professional boxing record to 3-0 at the Buffalo Run Casino in Miami, Oklahoma. So far in his boxing career, the Shaws have been feeding Kimbo cans with losing records, and Kimbo has been capitalizing in devastating fashion. Friday night, however, Kimbo Slice was given his toughest test in his young boxing career in Charles Hackmann, a fitness instructor making his professional boxing debut after taking the bout on just one day’s notice.

It’s almost like the guy was brought in to lose *snickers*, yet he held his own against the former UFC fighter (sigh), almost pulling off the upset in the second round. The action wasn’t as fast-paced as Cruz vs. Johnson, yet you wouldn’t know it by how badly both fighters gassed in the third and fourth rounds. When it was all said and done, Kimbo improved to 3-0, yet had major holes in his game exposed.

Video, courtesy of Iron forges Iron, after the jump.

Props: MMAFighting.com

Fights taking place in North America just haven’t worked out for the cheesily-nicknamed Marius “The Whitemare” Zaromskis. Heading into last night’s “Rumble of the Kings”, the DREAM welterweight champion was 0-3 with one no contest on North American soil. Arguably just as bad, his politically incorrect nickname typically is replaced with the totally original “Raging Demon” moniker.

Unfortunately for Bruno Carvalho, last night’s “Rumble of the Kings” took place in Stockholm, Sweden.

(Props to http://www.youtube.com/BFCLUV for the vids.) 

While we were all watching Frankie Edgar score possibly the biggest win of his career this past weekend, a few of you might have missed some great fights over at Bellator 53, which saw “The Arm Collector” collect yet another arm and Douglas Lima pick up a B-E-A-utiful knockout over Chris Lozano. But just in case your appetite for fights remains insatiable, we’ve searched the internet to find the welterweight semi-final match between UFC veteran Ben Saunders and Luis Santos and the featherweight tournament qualifier bout between Ronnie Mann and Kenny Foster to hold you over for a while. The sound is a little off for the later of the two, so if you’ve got a problem with it, take it up with our HR department.

-Danga 

Fitzpatrick is a freshman at the Clay Guida School of Head Movement.

Proud member of the Potato Nation Logan Wendt (AKA logdog52) sent us video evidence of his amateur debut in Lebanon, Missouri back in March.  We figure Logan sent us the video because not only did he win, he won quickly via choking the other guy right the hell out.  Running down our “Do We Post It?” checklist, we see:

1) A fight video.
2) A fight video in which a dude goes out cold.
3) A fight video in which a dude goes out cold and one of you bastards did it.

On Tuesday we showed you what was undoubtedly the worst sucker punch we’ve ever seen in a pro fight.  Today we look at another, similar sucker punch that is completely understandable, even to the referee.  In October of 2008, Jesse Vargas and the unfortunately-named Trenton Titsworth squared off in Temecula, California.  Things were going reasonably well, and then Titsworth leaned in during a clinch and kissed Vargas, ever so gently, on his neck. 

It took Vargas a moment to realize it, but he responded by drilling Titsworth on the jaw with a right hand on the break.  Technically, that’s a foul, and Vargas lost a point for it.  But kissing your opponent is apparently also a foul, though we admit we always thought it was simply frowned upon.  The ref initially takes one point away from Titsworth for his ill-timed display of affection, then decides that it’s bad enough to be worth a two-point deduction.  Some people just can’t help but stand in the way of love, can they?

Vargas would go on to win the four-round bout via decision (39-34 on all three scorecards).  Titsworth is still trying, unsuccessfully, to live this one down.

(Props: zmmajunky)

As ‘zombiekilla’ mentioned in the comments section of the last post, UFC 101‘s real Fight of the Night took place in the crowd, when a group of meatheaded douchebags got a little too caught up in the action and began warring amongst themselves. As security intervened, a female meatheaded douchebag swung her purse at some other broad, then went after her with furious Brock Lesnar-style hammerfists. Everyone in the vicinity roared their approval and watched it play out, paying no attention to the Aaron Riley/Shane Nelson scrap that was going on inside the Octagon.

And so, we must amend Dana White’s beloved four corners analogy: If people are playing soccer on one corner, basketball on the second corner, street hockey on the third corner, a bunch of drunk Philadelphians are throwing haymakers on the fourth corner, and a professional mixed martial arts contest is taking place in the center of the street, people will watch the meatheads brawl every time. That’s how we know this is the sport of the future.

Unrelated, but important: Forrest Griffin‘s camp confirmed that the fighter suffered a broken jaw and partial hearing loss during his whuppin’ at the hands of Anderson Silva, and sprinted out of the cage in order to seek immediate medical attention. Well, we’re sorry to hear that, but Quinton Jackson still thinks you’re a ‘LOSER!!’

MMA Weekly confirmed with Griffin’s management that Griffin’s jaw was not injured, but "emotionally he is definitely not dealing well with the loss."

(Fence grab is at 10:18, the alleged illegal blow comes at 17:25. Props: MMA Share.)

Benji Radach has filed a formal appeal with the California State Athletic Commission through his agent, Ken Pavia, challenging his TKO loss to Scott Smith on the April 11 Strikeforce show in San Jose, California.  We contacted Radach earlier today to get him to explain, in his own words, why he’s appealing the loss and what he hopes to accomplish.  Here’s what he had to say.

CagePotato.com: If you could Benji, sum up for me the main points outlined in your appeal.

Benji Radach: There are two main points.  One, in the second round I had him in a guillotine, choking the piss out of him, and I thought I was just going to choke him unconscious.  But he grabbed the fence and used it to pull us into a scramble and get out of the choke, which is illegal.  

(And to think this all started with a colorful gi, some little shorts, and a dream.)

It looks like Combat Sambo tournaments might actually lead to career advancement opportunities, after all.  Blagoi Ivanov has signed a three-fight deal with Sengoku and will reportedly face former Pride fighter Kazuyuki Fujita in his first fight at Sengoku 9 in August.  Ivanov is the guy who made minor waves (more like ripples by the time they reached the U.S.) when he beat Fedor Emelianenko on points in the World Combat Sambo Championships last November.  Fujita’s claim to fame is that he once hit Fedor so hard it briefly stunned him.  Neither of these accomplishments is enough to make this a truly interesting fight, although Sengoku has got to take what they can get when it comes to heavyweights. 

Since Bas Rutten is the former coach of the IFL’s L.A. Anacondas team, Kimbo Slice’s trainer, and a personal hero of CagePotato, you’ll be seeing a lot of him on this site, and it would behoove you to get acquainted with his work. A good place to start is this video of Rutten taking on Frank Shamrock in a 1996 Pancrase match. For those of you who grew up on the UFC, the Pancrase rules might throw you off — wikipedia has a decent overview here.

The fight was so theatrical that some have accused it of being a work. Check out Rutten and Shamrock toppling out of the ring at 5:00-5:06; Shamrock’s backward somersault at 7:14-7:18; the exchange at 9:02-9:18 that I won’t even try to explain; and Bas’s celebratory “Rutten Jump” beginning at 11:50, after the fight was stopped due to a cut near Shamrock’s eye.