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Tag: fight videos

Sad Video of the Day: James Irvin Loses XARM Debut. Yes, Loses.


(Video via MachinimaPrime)

In MMA, as in life, you never want to leave it in the hands of the judges. The same rule applies for the absurd parody of a combat sport known as XARM. Up until now, we’ve just thought that XARM involved two guys swinging wild haymakers at each other with their hands tied together, but it turns out that you actually can win or lose by pin — just like in real arm-wrestling. And James Irvin recently learned that the hard way during his depressing promotional debut against XARM veteran  Fred “Big Cat” Steen.

Steen successfully pins Irvin’s arm in rounds one and two, meaning that Irvin needs a knockout in round three to win the match. And while the Sandman lands some good shots in that final frame, Steen spends much of the third round hanging back (literally), stalling his way to a decision win. Honestly, these goddamned point-fighters are ruining the sport.

I’d update the James Irvin “Why Me?” timeline, but who even cares at this point. For further viewing, watch this XARM profile of James Irvin, where Irvin explains that he works full-time at the UFC Gym (possibly alongside another legendary UFC striker), incorrectly claims that he still holds the UFC’s fastest knockout record, and bitches about his damn taxes.

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Alexander Shlemenko Accuses UFC Fighters of Faking Injury, Mainly Brian Stann


(Jared Hamman attempts to pull a fast one on us all at UFC 150. AS IF we couldn’t tell that his leg was clearly photoshopped.) 

Perhaps two-time Bellator middleweight tournament winner Alexander Shlemenko is just a little bitter that rival Hector Lombard vacated his former promotion (and a long-awaited rematch with Shlemenko) to compete in the UFC, or maybe “Storm” is just as tired of seeing all of the UFC cards he is ordering turn to shit as the rest of us. Whatever his end game may be, Shlemenko recently stated in an interview with ValeTudo.ru that he believed many of the injuries that have been plaguing the UFC as of late were more than likely faked by the fighters in order to get out of a fight that was not a good matchup for them. His primary example was Brian Stann:

I can tell you for sure, 100%, I know why there are so many injuries. I personally find UFC fights not as exciting because of all those injuries. There are a lot of background tactics around who’s fighting who; fighters are trying really hard to have a good record in the UFC. If you’ve been offered to fight someone who’s considered a bad match-up, then it’s pretty easy to say ‘hey, I’m injured’.

For example, they offered Brian Stann to fight Hector Lombard. He got injured, and then the next thing you know – he’s fighting Michael Bisping. I can see the logic – for Brian Stann it makes more sense to fight Bisping, he’s simply more popular in the UFC than Hector Lombard. That’s why beating Bisping means more than beating Lombard, who’s a risky opponent.

You can fake every injury. Just tell [UFC doctors] about the symptoms and that’s it.

God Damn it, Alex. Your love of centrifugal forces and general badassery made you one of our favorite fighters, but NO ONE accuses “All American” of ducking a fight. And considering the bullshit-laden excuse your boy Lombard gave us three weeks after putting on one of the worst performances of the year, we’d say it’s a little presumptuous to start calling out other organizations fighters for sparing us a fifteen minute wet fart in advance.

After the jump: Stann’s response, as well as a video of Shlemenko’s most recent fight, which ends with an injury that is physically impossible to fake.

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Mirko ‘Cro Cop’ Filipovic Still Wants to Fight MMA


(To prove he still has “it,” Cro Cop conducted the entire interview from this position)

Fighters have to fight, we suppose. Ultimately, that’s the reasoning kickboxing and MMA legend Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic gave when he recently told USA Today that he wants to return to MMA despite retiring from the UFC after his most recent loss to Roy Nelson at UFC 137 in 2011.

“If you ask me, when I look deep into my soul, of course I would like to fight MMA again,” Filipovic revealed. “People don’t get it. Martial arts is my life.”

Cro Cop has lost his last three MMA bouts, all in the UFC, by either KO or TKO, and was 4-6 in his ten total UFC bouts. Cro Cop also fought two dozen times in the now defunct Pride promotion out of Japan, where he took part in one or two fights that you may remember. Filipovic is still fighting for the kickboxing organization where he first made his name, K-1, and most recently picked up a second round knockout victory over Loren Javier Jorge at K-1 Rising, which we’ve added after the jump for your enjoyment.

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MMA in the Wild: Redneck Kickboxer Defends Fiancee’s Honor, Wins on Points [VIDEO]


(Props: CRE)

When two drunk jackasses swing haymakers at each other in front of a nightclub, it’s a street fight. When a redneck with a tattoo of a backbone down his back throws multiple spinning wheel-kicks, knees from the clinch, and what appears to a Superman punch (1:13 mark) during a personal dispute, it’s something different. It’s something we like to call…MMA in the Wild.

To summarize, beefy dude in the tank top has allegedly been sending inappropriate messages to shirtless guy’s girlfriend on the Facebook. Shirtless guy intercepts the messages, and then, posing as his own girlfriend, he continues the conversation just to gather more evidence, I guess, and not because he actually enjoys posing as a girl on Facebook. So, shirtless dude posses up with some of his bros (just in case things get out of hand) and confronts tank top dude on a porch, whose denials are not well-received. As it turns out, tank top dude has a hell of a chin, but it isn’t much of a “fight,” per se.

In the end, shirtless guy is unable to secure the stoppage he was looking for, but he has clearly made a statement to the rest of the redneck lightweight porch-fighting division. You can bet that “Say Goodnight!” guy was watching this scrap with great interest.

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Vinny Magalhaes Returns to Zuffa’s Tender Embrace at UFC 151


(The super absorbent Shampow belt currently sells for $19.95, but if you call within the next ten minutes, because we can’t do this all day, we’ll throw in a baby for just the price of shipping and handling.) 

It has been a very frustrating couple of years for M-1 Light Heavyweight champion and TUF 8 finalist Vinny Magalhaes. After winning the M-1 belt with a mounted gogoplata submission over Victor Nemkov in April of 2011, then defending it with a head kick TKO of Mikhail Zayats the following October, Magalhaes found himself in a bit of contract limbo with the well documented shysters at M-1. In short, they refused to offer him any more fights under his current contract while simultaneously trying to ink him a new one. Like we said, shysters.

Anyway, after nearly a year on the shelf, Magalhaes got desperate. So desperate, in fact, that he tried selling his belt on Ebay, which was valued at an astounding $99,999 before it was suddenly pulled off the market for reasons that have yet to be explained. However, it appears that Vinny has finally reached an agreement (re: his mercifully release) with his M-1 counterparts, as word has broke that the champ, who has gone 7-1 since being ousted from the UFC following a pair of losses to Ryan Bader and Elliot Marshall, will return to the sport’s highest promotion at UFC 151, which goes down from the Mandalay Bay in Vegas on September 1st. His opponent has yet to be named, but Tatame has the scoop:

Vinny “Pezao” Magalhaes is back to the UFC. The light heavyweight, who lost to Ryan Bader on the TUF 8 Finale, signed a contract with the organization and is set to fight at UFC 151, on September 1st, TATAME learned with sources.

Videos of Magalhaes’ title win and defense await you after the jump, along with the skinny on a potential signing in the UFC’s flyweight division.

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[VIDEO] ArmFC Hosts Child MMA Fight, Puts the “Class” in “Class 2 Felony”


(Shit happens when Brett Rogers is your sponsor.) 

It seems that we’ve had to deal with the issue of child abuse more and more over the past few weeks here at CagePotato. You may recall the woman in St. Louis who videotaped her infant daughter’s decaweight debut and provided such insightful ringside commentary as “Ball up some fists!” as one instance of this. But today, Potato Nation, we’ve come across the classiest child abuse video of them all. We’re talking a top of the line, Armani-suited business moguls shrouded in darkness and purchasing sex slaves that were kidnapped at the airport level of class on display here. This is the Rolls-Royce of child abuse videos, if you will. In fact, the level of class in this child abuse video is so high, that it might not be considered child abuse at all.

It’s disorienting, we know, because typically, when treated to a video of a 6 year old and a 7 year old throwing down in a cage, your first reaction would probably be that of outrage. Toss in the fact that it took place in Armenia, at a bar surrounded by drunken patrons huffing cigars and cheering them on, your anger would likely jump up a few notches. But then you take a look at the awesome production value (yes, those are *actual* flames in the beginning), the adorable weigh-ins/staredown, and the scaled down ring, and you almost forget that you’re about to watch two kids beat the piss out of each other for entertainment. Or that a promotion exists out there that will allow this to happen.

So goes the story of ArmFC, an upstart and soon to be shut down promotion that recently forayed into the art of child fighting. And although the promotion insists that we are actually watching a “demonstration of the fight” on the Youtube page in which they posted this video, the fact that the first four words of the video’s description are “death 6 years fighter” leads us to believe that those running this promotion have a tenuous grasp on the English language in general. So by “demonstration”, they likely mean “we didn’t allow them to dip their gloves in candle wax and broken glass beforehand this time.”

Video after the jump. 

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We Have a New Front-Runner for ‘Gnarliest Broken Nose of 2012′ [VIDEO]


(Props: ITSSHOWTIME via MiddleEasy. The big reveal comes at the 0:49 mark.)

We usually judge fucked-up noses on a scale of Owen Wilson to Ryan McGillivray — but Rustemi Kreshnik may have just redefined what’s possible. Over the weekend, the Albanian heavyweight kickboxer got his nose kneed halfway around his face by Mourad Bouzidi at It’s Showtime 57 in Brussels, Belgium. As the color-man puts it, “That’s gonna have to be put back in place.” Oh do you think so, doctor?

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Street Fight of the Day: Woman-Beating A-Hole Gets Tapped Out Twice By Good Samaritan

We’re going to come right out and say it: By no means should you watch this entire video. We know that your time is precious, Potato Nation, as you are all, like us, the head honchos of your respective trades. But on the off chance that any of you have had a shit day and are in need of a pick-me-up, maybe, just maybe, you’ll get some enjoyment out of seeing a little street justice. This video, shot by one of the many onlookers, captures Devin Crime (or as the crowd referred to him “white boy”), a BJJ purple belt and Judo brown belt, coming to the aid of a woman who was apparently being struck by the Floyd Mayweather fan doing battle with Devin in said video. And by doing battle, we mean being choked until he taps like a little bitch on two separate occasions.

The video begins after this first takedown has already been landed, and even though Devin displays some Zen-like tranquility when dealing with the a-hole in question, he gets sucker punched for his troubles (:48). Devin responds with a hailstorm of GnP that would make Tito Ortiz turn green with envy, bloodying up his foe before possibly kissing him on the cheek (?) at the 1:13 mark. After some lay and pray, he patiently locks in the fight-ending choke with just over two minutes remaining in the first round.

Unfortunately, his foe is a firm believer in the Chael Sonnen system of submission fighting, and is under the impression that tapping out only ends the round, not the fight. After he is let to his feet to gather his things, he makes sure his hat is on at a good 45 degree angle before sucker punching Crime again (4:02). Crime proceeds to drag the assailant into the nearby bushes (4:06), and at this point it appears as if we are watching either a rape in progress or a snuff film or both. From there, it’s a smooth pass to mount and a rear-naked choke finish (5:00). When the thug is let back to his feet yet again, the singer of P.O.D appears out of nowhere to give him a final reason to get to stepping via his fist.

We have no idea if anyone was arrested for the alleged incident that sparked this brawl, but our hat goes off to Crime for his act of bravery. Nick Ring would be proud.

-J. Jones

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[VIDEO] Jorge Santiago Continues His Decimation of Everyone Outside of the UFC


(How much of a gentlemen is Brian Stann? He tried to break Santiago’s UFC curse the only way he knew how; with a kiss on bended knee.) 

Woe is Jorge Santiago. “The Sandman” has been put to sleep in three out of his five performances in his two runs with the UFC, and was released a second time after dropping a unanimous decision to Demian Maia at UFC 136. But whenever we catch a glimpse of him in a smaller promotion, you’d think you were watching some up and coming prospect that the UFC  must be overlooking. As Tim McCarver would say, as good as Santiago has looked outside the UFC, that’s how as bad he’s looked inside of it. Since exiting the promotion, Santiago has scored a devastating first round knockout of his own over Leonardo Pecanha last March, and tried to make it two in a row when he squared off against 16-5 Justin Guthrie in the main event of last weekend’s TFC 23 card in Fort Riley, Kansas.

Spoiler alert: Santiago picked up another first round finish, this time by reverse heel hook. Unfortunately for “The Sandman,” he was knocked unconscious by the phone call he received from Joe Silva shortly thereafter.

Video after the jump.

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[VIDEO] Melvin Manhoef’s Rubber-Legged Doppleganger Spotted Knocking Out Fools in the UK


(An audience member snapped this photo at the exact moment of the knockout.) 

There has been a lot of talk over the past few weeks in regards to “bath salts” an their effect on the human body. A friend of mine described them as “meth on PCP,” and said that they tend to make one feel “like Superman on a Chris Benoit-esque roid rage,” with side effects ranging from hallucinations, paranoia, and wet farts all the way to the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound and absorb a speeding bullet without batting an eye. Let’s just say that he’s “a doctor.”

Well, after watching Galore Bosando’s recent destruction of Wendle Lewis at a May 26th UCMMA event in London, I can only assume that we have witnessed the first case of bath salt abuse in MMA. Because there is no other logical explanation as to how exactly Bosando was able to deliver such an onslaught of spinning kick attacks, combining an inhuman level of flexibility with an, and I use this term at the risk of sounding racist, “explosiveness” that just doesn’t seem attainable without a narcotic level stimulant running through one’s veins.

Welterweights of the greater London area take notice, because it appears that Melvin Guillard and Melvin Manhoef mixed their DNA in a petri dish, combined it with 4 pounds of C-4, and mailed it to England in a bag full of hammers. The resulting explosion created Galore Basando.

Video after the jump. 

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