(Sure, “Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Champion” is a respectable title in its own right, but it just doesn’t carry as much weight at the Playboy Mansion, you know?) 

If there’s one thing you can say about former UFC heavyweight champion and Depends spokesperson Tim Sylvia, it’s that the SOB is persistent. Although his once successful MMA career has become little more than a series of punctuated jokes nowadays — most of which revolve around his fat, fatty, “Fatty Boom-Boom” fatness – “The Maine-iac” will simply not be denied his rightful place back in the UFC’s heavyweight division no matter how many times Dana White pisses in his cornflakes.

But the main issue preventing Sylvia’s UFC aspirations from coming to fruition is one that he doesn’t seem to realize: relevant wins. In the past few years, Sylvia has crushed a few cans (and a professional bodybuilder) in unimpressive fashion, been decapitated in 9 seconds by an aging boxer, dropped a decision to Satoshi Ishii, and been spared a loss on a loosely-defined technicality in his completely unnecessary fourth fight with Andrei Arlovski at OneFC 5. Yet despite all this, Sylvia is still holding onto the hopes that he will end his mixed martial arts career “where it started,” which for all intents and purposes is the UFC. He spoke with MMAWeekly:

I don’t know what is going to happen in the future of the UFC heavyweight division. Ideally I would like to finish out my career where it started and that is in the UFC. There’s great fights out there for me and I’d like to put on a great show for the fans on the biggest stage there is, and that’s obviously the UFC.

And who would Boom-Boom like to face in his glorious return, you ask? For starters, Frank Mir, who infamously snatched Sylvia’s title (and his arm) at UFC 48: Payback, otherwise known as the event wherein Ken Shamrock scored his last relevant win…over Kimo. But the second name on Sylvia’s hit list (just beating out Jared from the Subway commercials because “I ate a thousand of those subs and didn’t lose a fucking pound.”), might surprise you:

(Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black Belt Competitor Mackenzie Dern | Photo GracieMag)

By Elias Cepeda

[Ed. note: This is the second in a series of interviews with the fighters and promoters behind Metamoris II: Gracie vs. Aoki, which goes down June 9th in Los Angeles. Stay tuned for more, and follow Metamoris on Facebook and Twitter for important event updates. You can purchase tickets right here.]

I’ve got two stories about Rickson and Royler Gracie black belt Wellington “Megaton” Dias. One is a first-hand story and the other was passed on to me through others in the gym when I was growing up. Both are short and teach a simple lesson – “Megaton” is a skilled, mean, junkyard dog.

During the summer of 2000, I went to Los Angeles to watch the second Rickson Gracie International Jiu Jitsu Invitational. There were tournaments for all belt levels as well as “super fights” between black belt stars of the day. Dias took part in one of those featured bouts against another black belt. It is just as well that I don’t remember his opponent’s name because I’m sure he doesn’t enjoy this story being told. In short, Dias made that other elite black belt look like an amateur - putting him on his back, keeping him there, and basically toying with the guy from mount for the majority of the scrap. In short, it kinda looked like this. It was almost a worse way of losing than getting submitted in ten seconds. Dias dominated his nameless opponent for an entire match. Dias’ display is still the best single argument for a slaughter rule in Jiu Jitsu matches that I’ve ever seen.

The second-hand story I know of “Megaton” goes roughly like this; the Brazilian was brought to a Midwest town to conduct a Jiu Jitsu seminar — the timeframe escapes me. The people who paid the seminar fee more than likely did so because of Dias’ renowned skills, in hopes that the Professor would teach them some tricks. How wrong they were.

Famed Miami S.W.A.T. team leader Rick Smith (RIP) was once famously quoted on the difference between bravery and courage and offered the following words of wisdom: “Bravery is when you do something dangerous and you’re not even scared. Courage is when you’re smart enough to know that you should be scared, BUT YOU DO IT ANYWAY.” Ten seconds later, he met his demise via one insanely elusive hand grenade. And while we’re not sure if the next two gentlemen we’re about to discuss are brave or courageous, we do know that they are doing nothing short of pulling the pin out of a live grenade to prove it. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Look, we’re all for fighters stepping up to face a challenge, over say, declining one even if it means the cancellation of an entire event, but this is getting ri-goddamn-diculous. First Cody McKenzie requests a firing via decapitation with Josh Thomson serving as executioner, and now TUF 14′s Akira Corassani is apparently petitioning for his next fight to end at the destructive hands of Conor McGregor when the UFC returns to Boston in August for that preposterously titled event.

Now 2-0 in the UFC since his time on The Ultimate Fighter, Corassani posted the above video on his Youtube page yesterday, and aside from possessing a very loose understanding of what a UFC contract is, pulled a Chael Sonnen and gave McGregor just 48 hours to respond to his call out. Uh, dude, McGregor was pretty much homeless before entering the UFC, so maybe give him a week to fire back on Twitter?

And speaking of fighters biting off more than they can chew…

(Lyoto sees that you see what he did there, and will not let it affect his afternoon beverage of choice.) 

Whenever one of my boxer-pilates-yogacise students approach me about dropping my bi-weekly class at the Y because it is “too intense” or “too racist” or “makes no Goddamn sense,” my answer is always the same: “Give it a fortnight, young grasshopper, then decide. Also, can I borrow some bus fare?” Because a lot can change in a couple weeks, simply put, and I wouldn’t want any of my students saying something they regretted and earning an eternal enemy in the process.

At the bare minimum, it’s a philosophy that former light heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida can appreciate. Because roughly two weeks ago, “The Dragon” stated through his management that it “didn’t make sense” for him to fight the #2-ranked contender Alexander Gustafsson despite being called out by him, what with a guaranteed rematch with Jon Jones looming on the horizon and all.

Unfortunately for Machida, Jones is going to spend the next 6 months recovering from the toecapitation he suffered against Chael Sonnen last weekend, and has stated that he would prefer to face Gustafsson when he returns from his layoff. And wouldn’t you know it, Machida has suddenly changed his tune on the whole Gustafsson issue, but only because Jones is injured, we assure you.

A video of Machida’s post-being-called-out callout of Gustafsson is after the jump. 

(I can’t tell you what my strategy was going in, nor can I tell you who the UFC would like me to face next. All I can tell you is that I’m just a man looking for the bastard children who took me Lucky Charms.) 

There was something incredibly familiar about Conor McGregor from the moment he started mean-mugging Marcus Brimage at the UFC on FUEL 9 weigh-ins. His brash arrogance, his complete lack of respect for his opponent’s game, hell, even his body type was positively…Diazian. And although his actual respect for Brimage in his post-fight interview and snappy attire at the post-fight press conference were anything but, we couldn’t help but be reminded of Nick Diaz while McGregor was explaining how dire his financial situation was before earning a $60,000 “Knockout of the Night” bonus last weekend:

I’m just happy I won $60K. I’m just thinking on what I’m going to spend it on. I’ll buy myself a car anyway. A nice car, may be some suits or something. Custom made suits, I don’t know.

Just last week I was collecting the social welfare, you know what I mean? I was in there saying to them like, ‘I don’t know what going to happen. I’m signed to the UFC. I don’t know what….blah, blah, blah. But now I supposed I’m gonna have to tell them to f— off!

I didn’t have money before this… I was collecting 188 Euro ($245) a week off the social welfare. And now here I am, with like 60gs bonus and then my own pay. I don’t know what the f—s going on to be honest, right? 

Granted, it’s not exactly “I didn’t go to school for buying a house” levels of silliness, but you’ve got to…respect is the wrong word here…appreciate (?) the guy who openly admits to being on welfare literally seconds before sharing his plans to purchase custom tailored suits. Like Old Dirty Bastard before him, Conor McGregor will be an OG until the day he dies.

A full video of the UFC on FUEL 9 press conference is after the jump. 

(“When I first started The Blackzilian Reverse Diet, I was just a scrawny welterweight fighting in the sport’s highest promotion. But just LOOK AT ME NOW!) 

It would be no hyperbole to say that The Blackzilians are less a training camp and more a black hole (PUNS!) of suckitude that is slowly draining the last remaining scraps of talent from its fighters before it inevitably spits them out as empty, dry husks void of any discernible skills whatsoever. Alright, there may be a little hyperbole in that statement, but to say that the members of The Blackzilians have been underperforming since the camp was established in 2011 is no exaggeration. Alistair Overeem just had his head treated like a speed bag at UFC 156, Rashad Evans just put on his worst performance in years (at the same event, no less), and Melvin Guillard has dropped 4 of his past 5 fights including an inexplicably timid performance in what was supposed to be a grudge match against Jamie Varner at UFC 155. 

That’s not to say that The Blackzilians are doing everything wrong, it just appears that they are relying on the pure talent of their fighters to lead them rather than a team of disciplined coaches. But in light of the recent criticisms aimed at the camp from news outlets across the MMA blogosphere, whateverweight Anthony Johnson — fresh off a unanimous decision victory over Andrei Arlovski at WSoF 2 – told MMAJunkie that said criticisms are “unfair.” Here’s why:

Every team has losses. Losses don’t define who you are.

People always want to talk about the losses, not the wins. Everybody talks about Rashad’s loss. Everybody talks about Alistair’s loss. But Vitor Belfort is one of my training partners. He just high-kicked Michael Bisping (for a knockout win). You all talked about that for five minutes. You’re all still talking about the losses we had. What about the wins we had? 

True, Anthony, we should be talking more about the wins you guys had. The problem is that those wins are coming fewer and farther between than with the guys over at Team Hammer House.

If George Shunick’s piece on Fallox Fox and transgender athletes in MMA proved anything to me, it’s that – regardless of whether you agree with Joe Rogan’s stance on the issue (or how he chose to express that stance) – Fallon Fox vs. Cris Cyborg is a fight that FANS NEED TO SEE DAMMIT. One fighter is arguably the most devastating female in MMA, yet is also constantly accused of being a man. The other fighter is undefeated, used to literally be a man, and now calls herself “The Queen of Swords” because of course she calls herself that. In fact, I’m willing to write that Fallon Fax vs. Cris Cyborg – if it were to happen – would go down as the single greatest superfight in the history of MMA, because hyperbole is a pretty rad figure of speech that we don’t use nearly enough around here.

Well, good news, fight fans: Cyborg took a break from preparing to sacrifice Fiona Muxlow to ensure a good harvest and delivering completely pointless trash talk against Ronda Rousey to offer her two cents on Fallon Fox. As ESPN’s Josh Gross recently wrote:

“She wants to be a girl. I don’t agree,” said Santos, who for the first time in almost a year and half will return to fighting on April 5. “I think you’re born a girl, you’re a girl. You’re born a guy, you’re a guy. But I don’t choose opponents. The commission needs to check and make sure she doesn’t have testosterone.

(After defeating Silva by a shocking first round KO, Rush will remove his mask to reveal that HE WAS KEYSER SOZE THE ENTIRE TIME. Photo courtesy of Fighters.com)

Earlier this week, Georges St. Pierre’s former manager, Stephane Patry, wrote a column where he revealed the champion’s “secret plan” for ending his MMA career in three fights. We don’t read French (not because we can’t, just out of principle…’Merica!) so we relied on MMA Fighting’s Mike Chiappetta to give us the details.

Patry wrote that on Jan. 11, while dining with St-Pierre and a few other friends at a restaurant in the city, the group discussed his fighting future. And during that time, according to Patry, St-Pierre discussed a “detailed” and “intelligent” plan that would take him possibly to the end of his career.

It would consist of only three fights: his Saturday night UFC 158 bout against Nick Diaz, one more title defense against Johny Hendricks, and then, the long-awaited super fight with middleweight champion Anderson Silva.

Chiappetta followed up with St. Pierre and his head trainer, Firas Zahabi, but both of their memories seemed to be fuzzy about that night, so many, many months…well, a month ago, basically. ”I don’t know,” Georges told Chiappetta, “I don’t know. I don’t remember saying anything like this. I don’t think so. I’m focusing on Nick Diaz right now.”

How convenient, Georges. I’m not calling you a liar, I’d just like to know WHERE YOU KEEP THE MISSILE CODES, SECRET AGENT MAN.

(And when I say “bitch,” I mean it in the politest sense of the word possible.)

*takes a seat in rocking chair, lights up corn cob pipe*

You know, kids, there used to be a time when words like “retirement,” “marriage,” and “my totally real dead girlfriend” used to mean something. Perhaps it was just a simpler time back then, but when a man (or a woman that had somehow shoehorned her way into an office environment) gathered his co-employees around and announced that he was hanging it up, it was meant to be permanent. Bill Russell never came back. Vince Lombardi never came back. Pete Maravich tried to come back and dropped dead on the spot. Retirement was supposed to be a one way street, paved with early bird discounts, cheap medications, and eventually death. Sweet, sweet death. But then Muhammed Ali had to go and ruin everything.

*sets down pipe to chase Jehovah’s Witnesses down sidewalk*

In the past couple years, we’ve seen such notable fighters as Jamie Varner, Matt Hamill, and Chris Lytle announce their retirement from MMA. Of those three, the first two have already returned to the sport, and the latter has suggested that he would fight again under the right circumstances. And now, you can add UFC Hall of Famer Tito Ortiz to the list of fighters who feel they might have called it a career a bit early. In an interview with BloodyElbow, Ortiz stated that he would be open to the idea of coming out of retirement, but only once all of the injuries that have plagued his MMA career since ever were finally dealt with:

Right now, I’m only four weeks out of neck surgery, and then I have to get the ACL surgery. I still need to recover from that before I start thinking about anything, and if I’ll compete again. You never know, I may come out of retirement. It’s all about how my body recovers.

(Takes one to know one, we guess.) 

I’m pretty sure the amount of irony present in the whole Chael Sonnen/Lance Armstrong beef is giving me cancer. Here you have an MMA fighter on PED’s who called out a cyclist of all people for using PED’s just weeks before said MMA fighter was busted for PED’s. Then, said MMA fighter denied that he ever claimed the cyclist was on PED’s, only to come out years later demanding a personal apology from the cyclist, who it turns out was actually on PED’s all the while. It was an act that required a huge set of balls to commit to, yet was pulled off by a guy whose balls are apparently so small that he needs testosterone injections just to survive, again, because he used PED’s in the past. “Pot, meet kettle,” doesn’t even begin to describe it.

In either case, Sonnen recently appeared on his favorite venue for trolling the MMA world, The Jim Rome Show, and picked up where he left off in regards to the now disgraced cyclist, even delving into how Armstrong had threatened to sue him for his statements at one point:

Why are they calling him a bully? That’s what I can’t wrap my mind brain around. Lance is a dweeb, the only thing he’s missing is the tape on the glasses and the high water pants. That guy couldn’t get respect at the local Honky Tonk in my hometown. He threatened to sue me so I threatened to kick his ass and the whole thing went away.

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(Caution: This conference call was apparently recorded in a tin can headed straight for Pluto. Adjust speakers accordingly.)

For a guy who is supposed to be defending his title against Cain Velasquez in just over a week at UFC 155, heavyweight champion Junior dos Santos still seems awfully focused on Alistair Overeem, the man he was set to face back at UFC 146 before…well, you know. During the UFC 155 media call (full audio above), dos Santos touched on the respect he had for Velasquez as a professional, but not without taking a dig at Overeem in the process:

I prefer to fight against clean athletes and real professionals. Cain Velasquez is one of these guys. He’s a real professional fighter and that’s a good challenge for me. I know he’s very tough and I know how hard I have to train to face him. And the OTHER GUYS, they just say things, but there’s nothing behind the words. Guys like me and Cain Velasquez, we are made at the gym. Guys like the OTHER GUY there, they are made in the laboratory.

Ahh…the Lord Voldemort approach of anonymity. Touche, Junior.

*Super Friends announcer voice* MEANWHILE, IN THE DINING ROOM…

If you thought watching the sixteenth season of The Ultimate Fighter was hell, just wait until you hear how bad it was to be one of the show’s participants, and a winning one at that. As finalist Mike Ricci will tell you, TUF 16 wasn’t exactly Dancing With the Stars, where everyone got to take their perfect-bodied Ukranian supermodel partner home and have their way with them (although to be fair, the above video makes the case that there certainly was a lot of banging going on). No, TUF was much, much uglier. In fact, during a recent appearance on The MMA Hour, Ricci admitted that he hated his time on the show so much — despite being a finalist, mind you — that he wished he could sue the show for the “psychological damages” he suffered:

It was an absolute nightmare, I wanted to sue for psychological damage, I wasn’t the same person. I actually thought I had a case, ‘I’m not the same person, I can do this and win.’ But, I felt like don’t get me wrong, I knew what I was getting into I knew how I was going to react. Even some of the producers in the house toward the end were like, ‘Geez, you’re the most institutionalized fighter we’ve ever seen, we’ve done 11 seasons and we’ve never seen anyone like you, you’re like a robot now. 

Much more from this interview is after the jump.

(If this man does not strike you as the kind of person who spends most of his free time getting stoned, playing Xbox, and waxing poetic about the flaws of Jiu-Jitsu, then we don’t know who does.) 

When we first heard word that Stephan Bonnar and Dave Herman failed their UFC 153 drug tests — for Drostanolone and Marijuana respectively — we couldn’t help but reflect on the timeless words of George W. Bush when he stated, “Fool me once…..shame on………..shame on you. Fool me, I can’t get fooled again.” Unfortunately for Bonnar and Herman, they failed to fool the piss test even once while in the UFC (at least to our knowledge) and have felt the unforgiving wrath of the Interwebs as a result of their insolence. Hearts were broken. Tears were shed. Butts were hurt.

And in an effort to gauge their fellow fighters feelings on the issue, FightHubTv recently interviewed such fighters as Travis Browne, Eddie Alvarez, and Tyrone Spong to get some perspective on the issue. Also, Rampage Jackson threw in his two cents and actually managed to do so without turning the interview into another “Dear Diary” entry aimed at the UFC. Good for him.

Video after the jump. 

(Kirk Lazarus gave this performance five out of five crab apples.) 

I have never met Jason Miller before. Like most of you, the only perception I have of “Mayhem” as a person has been constructed through interview snippets, heavily-edited reality shows, Twitter ramblings, and the occasional MMA fight. And while this criteria alone may be enough for me to declare my dislike for certain fighters, I have always found it difficult to assess just who exactly this Miller character is — especially in light of recent events — let alone render a verdict on the guy. Because that’s what Mayhem is: a character. And for people to believe that he is truly this completely bonkers, attention-starved individual at every waking moment seemed as ridiculous to me as believing that Chael Sonnen truly is the character he plays on TV. Yet in both instances, there is a strong majority of people who seem to feel this way.

What am I going on about? Well, it just so happens that Mayhem recently agreed to partake in a lengthy interview with Ariel Helwani, having finally shed the “Lucky Patrick” alter-alter-ego that saw him storm off Helwani’s show just a few weeks ago. In the interview that awaits you after the jump, Miller discusses everything from the Twitter war he and Dana White engaged in shortly after his firing to his bizarre arrest in a San Viejo church. And while I was happy to see that Miller appeared to be in sound mental shape for the time being, I couldn’t help but feel as if his explanation for those events was a little fishy.

If you’ve got the time, check out the video and let us know if you agree.

(Trust us, when this moment arrives you will be doing anything but laughing.) 

When Jason “Mayhem” Miller was fired from the UFC, he was basically left with two career paths to follow. He could follow the path of guys like Joey Beltran or — to a lesser degree — Anthony Johnson, which is to say, recognizing his mistakes/flaws and trying to earn his way back into the promotion through hard work, a couple decent wins, and in his case, probably some begging. Or, he could take a page out of someone like Rampage Jackson’s book, which consists of complaining a lot, going on nonsensical Twitter rants, and acting like a delusional pyschopath at every possible turn.

It saddens us to inform you that Miller has apparently chosen the path of Charlie Sheen.

There are simply no words that aptly describe Miller’s recent appearance on The MMA Hour, but I’ll try to use a few: batshit, kerfuffle, delirium, wantwit, rudesby. Like sharting in a hot tub while on a blind date.

In a terribly misguided attempt to plug his upcoming film, Here Comes the Boom, Miller appeared on the radio show as his character from the movie, Lucky Patrick. But what began as a simple ruse quickly devolved into one of the most bizarre and outright sad things we have witnessed in the continually depressing downfall of “Mayhem” Miller. He referred to “Arius Heelwani” as a “Jew,” refused to break character or answer questions as to his current mental state (or perhaps answered them all, really), and vehemently stormed off the set 45 minutes short of its expected run time. As Helwani noted, Miller was clearly attempting to channel Andy Kaufman, but unfortunately came off looking a lot more like Crispin Glover.

Video after the jump. 

Aside from displaying a much improved striking game in his second round TKO win over up-and-coming prospect Stipe Miocic last weekend, veteran heavyweight Stefan Struve put to rest all of the speculation regarding his chin (at least for the moment) by successfully eating the Clevelander’s best punches without looking much worse for the wear. But what most of the general public was completely unaware of heading into last weekend’s main event was the plight of Struve’s father, who had been diagnosed with cancer just a couple months ago and has been battling the disease ever since.

Obviously the news did not come easy to Struve, who was training for his fight with Miocic at the time, but the Dutchman managed to push through the onslaught of emotions and turn in a Brett Favre-esque performance on Saturday night. It wasn’t until his victorious post-fight interview that Struve brought everything to light, breaking down in heartrending fashion:

My dad [found out he had] cancer two months ago. He’s in therapy. He’s doing well, but, still. Yeah, I’ve been wanting to go home. It will be good to go home and see him again.

Having recently lost a family member to cancer, I can tell you first hand how difficult a process it is to deal with for all parties involved. I’m sure many of you readers could say the same. But like Struve said, his father is doing fine for the time being, so Struve should rest assured that he will be bringing his biggest victory inside the octagon home with him. We here at CP would like to let the Struve family know that our thoughts and prayers are with them in this difficult time. If Stefan’s performances inside the octagon are any indication, we imagine that his father will likely beat that pussy cancer inside of three rounds.

After the jump: A full video of the UFC on FUEL 5 post-fight press conference in which Dana White discusses his broner for Brad Pickett, pokes fun at the emotionless cyborg known as Gunnar Nelson, and tells everyone who thought the card sucked to stick it “right up your ass.” If only the President of this great nation could be so frank.

(For the last time, I don’t know where any WMD’s are, and would appreciate if you stopped asking me questions taken from Chael’s Twitter account.)

For those of you who still think the life of a UFC champion is little more than punching dudes and collecting a paycheck, it might sadden you to see this behind-the-scenes video of Jon Jones‘ day at ESPN studios, which contained no less than a hundred and fifteen interviews over the course of a few hours. Seriously, Jones spent more time answering questions under a heat lamp than a person of interest, who he is ironically beginning to look like with that beard.

All kidding aside, the pure number of interviews Jones has to deal with in a day is probably a facet of his personality that many people don’t consider when lobbing their hate at him. When you’re trying not to look stupid hour after hour — and in front of millions of people nonetheless — you will eventually jumble your words, your thoughts, and have said words and thoughts misinterpreted by the strangers who are interviewing you left and right. It’s not exactly an easy process to get used to, especially when you lack the freakish confidence of a Chael Sonnen, a Floyd Mayweather, or a Deion Sanders, and you can see that Bones still gets a little nervous when trying to take it all in. Hence why he could not correctly answer which NFL-playing brother of his had which birthday, or what bone connects your shoulder to your elbow (which honestly would have stumped 99% of American audiences if Jay Leno was the one asking the question.)

We’re not saying that Jones should be completely forgiven for his repeatedly poor choices of words, we’re just saying that, given enough time spent stepping on eggshells and answering the same mind-numbing questions over and over, most of us would probably comes off as unlikable too.

Video after the jump.

(Benavidez REALLY lets Bisping have it at the 4:05 mark. That is sarcasm, by the way.)

It used to simply surprise me each time someone raced to defend the actions of Michael Bisping after we had given him the public tongue-lashing he so rightfully deserved, be it for his coaching exploits, his insistence on insulting every middleweight he comes across, or his general dickishness when alcohol is involved. His supporters, whom I can only assume are as crass, doltish, and incoherent as the subject at hand, often label us “anti-British,” because clearly Bisping’s ancestry is at the forefront of our issues with the guy, not the relentless douchbaggery he displays at every conceivable opportunity. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that no matter how sound a given argument is, there will always be a minority rallying against it. It’s why Old Dad was recently lambasted by the readers over at MMAJunkie for declaring that Brock Lesnar and all 8 of his professional fights had not earned him a spot in the UFC Hall of Fame because he had helped the sport get some fans (bring it on, bitches!). And it’s undoubtedly why some of you — for God knows what reason — will always be quick to defend the hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni known as Count Bisping (seriously, BRING IT ON!).

Take his recent squabble with the UFC’s flyweight division, for instance. With no clear motivation (other than being billed below them at UFC 152), Bisping decided to launch into a diatribe aimed at the 125-pounders, declaring that “no one cares about little flyweights.” Bisping continued his attack at the UFC 152 press conference, where, when forced to deal with a response from Joseph Benavidez, stated that “when you were a glint in your dad’s eye, I was kicking ass in the UFC,” which makes sense because AGE IS DETERMINED BY HEIGHT AND WEIGHT AND THAT’S IT SHUT UP. Benavidez, along with most of us who can subtract 28 from 33, dismissed Bisping’s comments as “ridiculous” and moved on. However, when Benavidez was asked by teammate Urijah Faber in the “fighter diary” above if he thought he hit harder than Bisping, he nonchalantly declared that yes, he believed he did.

This was the kind of insolence that Bisping would simply not tolerate.

After the jump: Bisping’s response, which is as eloquently phrased and intelligent as Winston Churchill’s epic pwnage of Nancy Astor.

(Who wants to take a wild guess at how Bones vs. Belfort will end? Anyone?)

There may only be a matter of hours separating us from the UFC/Dana White/Jon Jones’ decision to cancel Christmas UFC 151, yet it somehow feels as if every conceivable angle has already been pondered, publicized, and pettifogged to an exhausting extent. Fingers have been pointed in every direction; some say Jon Jones is to blame, some Greg Jackson, while others, like Cory Braiterman of MMAMania, feel that Dana White is more or less scapegoating Bones in an attempt to disguise the fact that UFC 151′s supporting card, and in fact many of the UFC’s recent cards, are kind of garbage ass, as BG put it (by the way, garbage ass is phrase that needs to catch on).

Throw in a clusterfuck of bitchassness in the light heavyweight contender pool, and we’ve been left with a “pound-for-pound great” fighting a middleweight whose chance of victory is apparently worse than the chance that you would be attacked by a circus lion in a convenient store twice. On the same day. In two different convenience stores. Seriously, Jones was only listed at -475 in a rematch with Lyoto Machida, and is now listed as high as -1500 over Belfort.

That is some garbage ass, right there.

But the man who has been caught in the middle of all this hate, champion Jon Jones, had remained silent on the issue in the immediate aftermath, likely until Team Jackson could draft up an apology for him to make (ZING!). However, in an interview with MMAJunkie last night, Jones was both apologetic and steadfast regarding his decision.

His remarks, along with the latest in Chael Sonnen’s epic trolljob, are after the jump. 

(Well, at least she has looking hot in front of a camera as a fallback career.) 

Although the main card of Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman card provided most of the evening’s highlights, you would be hard pressed to find an MMA site that didn’t declare Miesha Tate’s come-from-behind win (insert puns now) over Julie Kedzie to be the most exciting fight of the evening. Despite being rocked on various occasions and almost ending up as the first entry in the head-kick-nip-slip Hall of Fame, Tate was able to brave the storm and score an armbar victory of her own late in the third round.

But up until that point, it was plain to see that there was clearly something a little off about the former title holder. Her combinations came few and far between, and her takedown attempts seemed to be lacking a certain gusto that they had previously held. While part of this could be attributed to the toughness of Kedzie, who has been training at Greg Jackson’s gym for some time now (and is in fact his personal assistant), an equal amount could just as easily be blamed on Tate’s somewhat lackadaisical attitude in the cage on Saturday night.

The fact that she still managed to pull off an amazing, gritty win over a tough opponent despite this only shows what caliber of fighter Tate truly is, but according to the source herself, we might not be seeing “Cupcake” in action for a while. In a recent interview with Ariel Helwani during The MMA Hour, Tate explained that she simply “didn’t feel the passion and fire that [she] had felt in her previous fights” when facing Kedzie:

I felt out of my element, I didn’t feel normal in there whatsoever. It was very strange, it was not a feeling I enjoyed and not something I want to experience again, I don’t really know what my next step is here. Even when I was when lined up with Julie, across the cage, I was like, ‘Is this really happening right now? Am I really here? Am I really in this fight?’ I felt like I was kind of just in this twilight zone. I did not like that. It’s not how I normally feel, not how emotions really run. Normally I’m excited to be there, I’m amped and pumped, and I felt little to nothing, and I mean, she literally elbowed me and got my lip really good and I was like ‘ehh, whatever.’ She kicked me in the face, ‘ehh, whatever,’ It was not, it wasn’t a normal circumstance for me I don’t know why that is but I’m asking myself a lot of questions. I think I need to take a step back, relax a minute, and evaluate it. 

More from this interview is after the jump.

Despite the way he was portrayed during his run on The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights, which is to say, typical British asshole, it turns out that James McSweeney is actually a pretty cool dude in reality. But seriously, if you were to categorize McSweeney scientifically based solely on TUF 10, his name would’ve been Bispingus Douchebaggus. However, I first caught a glimpse of how well-spoken and down to earth McSweeney truly is during a recent interview he had with MiddleEasy, which I’ve posted above. In the video, he and Kit Cope break down everything from Jon Jones’ DUI to Nick Diaz’s suspension for weed, and he comes off sounding like a relatively enlightened individual in the process.

The reason I mention this is not only to try and prove that there are British MMA fighters out there who aren’t complete dicks, but to provide a little backstory that will prevent this news from catching you completely off guard. Because in the long list of MMA fighters who moonlight as vigilante, Bronson-esque heroes, McSweeney has just added his name.

Yesterday night, McSweeney was giving his family, who was visiting from England, a friendly tour of Las Vegas. As things are destined to do in Vegas, the night would inevitably end in them witnessing at least one person trying to stab another.

By Matt Kaplan

Matt “The Law” Lindland has been clinching, smothering, and dirty boxing his way through the MMA world since the days of wrestling shoes in the Octagon. He’s fought alongside and against some of the very best in the world and was a fixture in the top-ten middleweight rankings for years.

A 2000 Olympic Greco-Roman wrestling silver medalist and Team Quest charter member, Lindland went 9-3 during his UFC middleweight tenure and earned a 2002 title shot against champion Murilo Bustamante. After leaving the UFC (Google his UFC 54 t-shirt controversy), he moved up in weight classes to fight Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Fedor Emelianenko (in Russia), he won his two IFL Super Fights as the coach of the Portland Wolfpack/Team Quest, and he was the hardcore fan’s dream opponent for Anderson Silva.

Although Lindland has been inactive for nearly a year-and-a-half, he has yet to hang up his fingerless gloves. “I’ve never won a world title, so it’s kind of hard to retire,” explained the 42-year-old Lindland, whose focus today is on leading wrestling and MMA seminars, overseeing his SportFight promotion, and coaching his Team Quest MMA fighters.

Inspired by Ring Magazine’s “The Best I’ve Faced” series, here’s the legendary Matt “The Law” Lindland looking back on a long, hard-fought career and remembering those opponents who stand out across the following categories:

Best boxing: Vitor Belfort. With boxing it all starts with your footwork, your movement, and he has explosive hands and hips. And not just the night I fought him. He’s got consistently good boxing.

Props to the UG for the find and MMAInterviews for this video, which asks several of the fighters from UFC on FOX 4, along with several other MMA stars, what Olympic event they would most likely compete in if they weren’t mixed martial artists. The responses ranged from funny (Joe Lauzon’s desire to try and make people give a shit about speed walking) to optimistic (5′ 8” Jamie Varner’s chances as a high-jumper) to spot-on for their personality (Ryan Bader would “throw rocks” and lift weights, go figure).

And speaking of Olympics, are we the only ones who think water polo is receiving far too much coverage this year? We’re sorry, but whatever asshole took a look at soccer and thought “You know what we should do with this sport? Slow it way, way down, limit the players mobility, and blow a whistle every three seconds” should be shot in the face, then dragged to a nearby park to make it look like a suicide. And yes, we know that person is probably dead already. Just go with it.

Anyway, it is with this inspiring little interview that we ask you taters to fill the blanks in for the following sentence:

If ______ were an Olympian instead of an MMA fighter, he/she would ______.

-J. Jones

(To prove he still has “it,” Cro Cop conducted the entire interview from this position)

Fighters have to fight, we suppose. Ultimately, that’s the reasoning kickboxing and MMA legend Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic gave when he recently told USA Today that he wants to return to MMA despite retiring from the UFC after his most recent loss to Roy Nelson at UFC 137 in 2011.

“If you ask me, when I look deep into my soul, of course I would like to fight MMA again,” Filipovic revealed. “People don’t get it. Martial arts is my life.”

Cro Cop has lost his last three MMA bouts, all in the UFC, by either KO or TKO, and was 4-6 in his ten total UFC bouts. Cro Cop also fought two dozen times in the now defunct Pride promotion out of Japan, where he took part in one or two fights that you may remember. Filipovic is still fighting for the kickboxing organization where he first made his name, K-1, and most recently picked up a second round knockout victory over Loren Javier Jorge at K-1 Rising, which we’ve added after the jump for your enjoyment.

(Guillard discusses his game plan for UFC 150. To summarize it in a word: Kill, kill, kill.) 

Allow me to begin this article with a series of understatements:

-Melvin Guillard hits pretty hard.
-His ground game, however, is somewhat lacking.
-Donald Cerrone has a decent chin, and a slightly better ground game than Melvin Guillard.

Now, whether any of these notions has any influence over your view of how Cerrone vs. Guillard will go down is a moot point. If you were to ask Cerrone how he thinks he will fare against Guillard on Saturday night at UFC 150, however, his response would be something along the line of “Where’s that bitch Anthony Pettis? Tell him to stop ducking me!”

Confused? Well so were we when we heard Cerrone’s recent interview with Inside MMA, where he all but completely disregards the fact that he is fighting one of the most dangerous strikers in the lightweight division this weekend, and instead focused his crosshairs on the former (and final) WEC lightweight champion:

I definitely wanna go after that title, and getting a rematch with Henderson would be an honor. That’d be sweet, for the belt. But, I really wanna fight Anthony Pettis. I want him to quit crying about his hurt shoulder and step up and fight me. I don’t know what I gotta do. Just grab your purse and let’s dance, brother. 

(Hand shake deals ain’t what they used to be.)

Remember when UFC President Dana White said that former heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez “deserved” the next shot at current kingpin Junior Dos Santos after Cain steamrolled Antonio Silva at UFC 146? Well, Velasquez certainly does and he seems upset over the buzz about Alistair Overeem leapfrogging him that has circulated recently.

When Alistair broke all of our hearts by failing a drug test and becoming ineligible to challenge Dos Santos (who won the belt by stopping Velasquez) and then was suspended from competition for a year, we figured he’d have to get back in line, at least a little bit, for a chance at UFC gold. But The Reem has been taking the Chael-lite approach to getting a title shot, ie. talking smack about the champion.

Overeem recently said that he feels Dos Santos is ducking him. Dos Santos didn’t take too kindly to that assertion, especially since it was Overeem that managed not to show up to fight when they were originally slated to face-off.

Junior’s anger at Alistair has gotten to the point where he’s expressed a preference to fighting the dangerous Dutch kick boxer next instead of Cain. Velasquez doesn’t have all that Brown Pride just to stand aside and let Overeem talk his way into a spot he earned so when the former champ visited The MMA Hour Monday, he let his feelings be known.

By Elias Cepeda 

Amid his national television appearances, eight wins in the UFC and record-setting submissions as a percentage of wins in the promotion, it might be hard to remember that Joe Lauzon is a regular guy who not too long ago worked a nine to five office job like lots of other Americans. Shortly after he graduated from college in 2006 with a computer science degree Lauzon got a shot in the UFC and the storyline for the Massachusetts native typically went like this: Smart college kid is fighting, for some reason.

Lauzon was supposed to be an opponent in his UFC debut, nothing more, for the returning former lightweight champion Jens Pulver. Instead, he stopped the legend in the first round and six years later “Baby Joe” is still at the top of the sport – fighting on this weekend’s UFC on FOX 4 card against former WEC lightweight champ Jamie Varner.

The twenty eight year old is as surprised as anyone.

“I never expected it to go this far,” Lauzon says, speaking of the mixed martial arts career that he began back in high school. “I thought I’d get to do it for a year or so, maybe two years. Maybe I’d make a little bit of money and then I’d have to get back to working a real job. Now I’m dreading going back to a real job,” Lauzon laughs.

(Munoz pays tribute to his favorite terrible fighter, Emmanuel Yarborough, by squashing a scrawny ginger less than 1/3rd his size.) 

By Elias Cepeda

At first, what he said kind of passed by unnoticed, but when I caught it, I was forced to ask him to clarify. We were talking to UFC middleweight contender Mark Munoz about training camp for his UFC on FUEL 4 main event scrap tonight against Chris Weidman and thought to ask how things were going with the gym he owns, Reign Training Center.

Munoz opened up the Southern California fight gym a couple years ago and since that time it has grown to house not just 9-5ers seeking workouts, but some of the best fighters in the world as well. Munoz said the business was going swimmingly, spoke about some of the challenges of starting up and managing a gym and, almost in passing, mentioned that he led training for the guys.

Well, certainly not while he was in camp, right? Wrong, Munoz corrected. The fighter has, in fact, been his own head coach and trainer for all the fighters at Reign as he has readied to fight Weidman.

“I actually lead the training along with training myself,” Munoz said. “I’ve been coaching for awhile now and for me, I love running practices. I think about how to run practices and how to be able to breakdown technique and to be able to help the whole group. I’ve been doing it for over 10 years when it comes to Division I wrestling. Love to teach and to coach and get a good workout in the process. The guys love it too. They see the workouts and feel that they are catered to them. I’m glad I can accomplish both coach and competing. I’ve always wanted to do both but with wrestling you can’t really do it.”

Simultaneously fighting and coaching? That’s some Bill Russell and Pete Rose stuff right there.

(Gentlemen, no need to show me the door, because THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE!) 

There aren’t many fighters in the UFC who have had longer layoffs in between fights than Carlos Eduardo Rocha. Well, maybe before this summer began, that is. Fighting just three times between November of 2010 and June of 2012, Rocha’s 1-2 UFC record included a submission via kneebar win over Kris McCray and a pair of close decision losses to Jake Ellenberger at UFC 126 and most recently, Mike Pierce at UFC on FX 3. The latter fight, which you may recall was originally scored a split decision victory for Pierce rather than a UD thanks to the general incompetency of Floridians, was a relatively lackluster affair that was dominated by Pierce’s clinch and wrestling game ala Couture vs. Vera.

It might surprise you to learn that Rocha, an incredibly decorated BJJ practitioner whose only trips to the scorecards have come in the UFC, was let go following the loss. As one might understand, Rocha was none too happy to learn of this news, and quickly vented his frustrations (mainly, those relating to Pierce’s performance) when interviewed by Tatame:

I went there to fight MMA and he wants to win by points. There were 15 minutes of pure stalling This is bullshit. And UFC fires me after a fight where the guy just stood there stalling. I had good performances and even so I was cut off. I didn’t expect this.

Ah, the Nick Diaz defense. Classy move, Mr. Rocha.

More from this interview after the jump. 

(Were you the country bumpkin that called me a Guido, or was it Hughes?) 

It might be just me, but every time I see or even hear Matt Serra on camera, I expect him to have a trio of deli meats clenched in one fist and a bottle of Patron in the other. He exudes the Long Island Italian meathead stereotype more than any other professional fighter out there, and although I normally despise those people, I can’t help but laugh when he launches into his shtick. It’s kind of like how if you were to take Sofia Vergara’s voice and implant it into anyone else but her, the results would be gratingly annoying rather than hilarious and enthralling.

Whether you agree or not with the above statement will likely impact your excitement to learn that “The Terra” recently…hosted (?) a video blog for the UFC called Fight Camp Insider. And wouldn’t you know it, Serra managed to not only snag fellow wordsmith Chael Sonnen for an interview, he ended up spending the whole day with him. Needless to say, a good time was had by all.

Video and a recanting of the events after the jump.