Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Tag: fighter

How’s Taste My Dystopian Vision of the Future?

(The war, she is hell.)

Here’s the explanation we were given to go along with this photo:

"Mixed Martial Arts star Andrei Arlovski is featured in the sequel of the iconic hit film UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. Stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren return as fight-to-the-death enemies in "Universal Soldier: A New Beginning."  The film has just wrapped principal photography.”

But between us, we think that’s all a clever cover story.  That’s what the government would like you to believe.  But look in those eyes.  See the despair?  See the anguish?  That’s a man who has grown disillusioned with the world of pro fighting and has traveled into the future to join some totally sweet army of motocross riders with machine guns who do battle with aliens or giant bugs or robots or something. 

At least that’s our take.  We’ll let you decide which explanation sounds more plausible.


Bid on Gina Carano’s Bra, Become Officially Creepy

(Awww, that’s disturbing.)

Are you a huge Gina Carano fan looking for the perfect piece of memorabilia to let everyone know that your fascination with her has gone from strange to unsettling?  Then this is your lucky day.  Out friends at Fightlinker found someone on Ebay who is selling an autographed Gina Carano sports bra.  We don’t know what search the Fightlinker boys were doing when they stumbled upon this, but we can probably go ahead and assume it was weird.

This guy, however, takes weird to a whole new level.  He claims he got Gina to sign this at Xtreme Couture, and then he went and had it framed.  Which is, you know, what you do with ladies undergarments that have become collector’s items.  Now he’s giving you the chance to bid on it, starting at just $99.99 (plus shipping and handling).

Think of all the things you could do with it.  You could put it on your wall to scare off dates that you bring home.  You could lay it out on your bed and lie down next to it at night.  You could even give it as an entirely inappropriate gift to your girlfriend!  The possibilities are endless…

Sort of Related:
Pieces of Rampage’s Tire For Sale


Right Now in the Forums: Who’s Your Guilty Pleasure Fighter?

(See what you’ve left us with, oppressive gun laws?  Now Kimbo has to use his fists and that other guy, well, he just has to pretend.)

‘Sup, Potato Nation.  As many of you have noticed, discussions are popping off in the forums, and there is a surprisingly small amount of stupid bullshit being contributed to said discussions.  Well, at least that’s the case before Kadumel shows up (jokes! we love you Kadumel, but we also love busting your chops. it’s a mean-spirited love, like the one between your parents).

For those of you who haven’t realized what kind of awesomeness you’re missing out on in the forums, we thought we’d take the opportunity every so often to point you to an interesting thread.  This week’s best topic so far, courtesy of Drew, who suggested it and Sarah, who did something about it, is: Who is your guilty pleasure fighter?

You know, the guy who isn’t the best in his weight class, who has obvious problems of one sort or another, and who you might not even admit to liking lest you be mocked by MMA snobs everywhere.  But dammit, you love watching the guy in much the same way you love watching “7th Heaven.”

Drew got the ball rolling by admitting that his guilty pleasure fighter is Kimbo Slice.  And you know, we think that’s…brave?


War Machine Arrested in Vegas

(Shit’s about to get real, son.  Real bad.)

Five Ounces of Pain is passing along a report that everyone’s favorite MMA screw-up, War Machine, was arrested in Las Vegas for battery early Saturday morning.  That’s right, the same guy who recently lost a job opportunity with Bellator for his comments about President Obama, which came after he was kicked out of the UFC for his comments about Evan Tanner/refusal to fight Brandon Wolff.  

To make matters worse, this was apparently a citizen’s arrest, meaning some guy (or woman, we don’t know) on the street grabbed War Machine after he battered someone and then held him there for the cops.  Or, more likely, it happened in a club or casino and security detained him, though I like the first explanation better for the visual imagery it conjures up.

War Machine was already on probation in California for beating up someone outside a gym, so unless he can prove his innocence in this case – and let’s be honest, you knew when you saw the headline that he was guilty – he’s probably going to do some time.

As much as we like mocking those who have aggressively proved themselves deserving of such mockery, War Machine’s life has recently moved beyond pure schadenfreude and into the realm of the genuinely depressing.  Though he did bring it on himself (repeatedly) while demonstrating a complete unwillingness to learn from his past mistakes.  You know where he could make friends who share those fun little traits?  Prison.


Jon Jones Is For Real, and Just Getting Started

I talked to Jon Jones for this week’s column, in which he discusses what it was like growing up with two brothers who both now play defensive line at Syracuse (with the eldest headed soon to the NFL) and how he learned to strike by watching YouTube videos:

The gym I train at is a really small gym, a lot of wrestlers, so I didn’t have a striking coach until this last fight.  I had to teach myself how to strike.  I would study a lot of videos on YouTube, or go to different websites where I could watch old Pride fights.  I just became obsessed with MMA and watched videos over and over again.  I learned the moves and took them to practice and started using them.  Before I knew it I was considered a pretty good striker. 
YouTube videos can really teach you a lot.  It depends how you search for them.  If you look really hard, you can find videos of seminars from some of the best fighters in the world.  It’s just a matter of taking them seriously.  You have the Bas Rutten’s and the Anderson Silva DVD’s, but you can find most of that stuff on the internet for free, so that’s what I was doing.  I was basically teaching myself with them.  Now I can honestly say I’ve been taught by some of the best teachers in the world because I’ve watched some of the greatest seminars online. 

Obviously, Jones is a freakish athlete who can simply do things other people can’t, such as watch YouTube videos and then beat up UFC veterans.  But what struck me was his humility and obsession with improving as a fighter.  Check this quote, for example, on what went through his mind after the UFC offered him the fight with Bonnar:


Las Vegas Man Chains Teenage Daughter to Bed and Starves Her into “Fighting Weight”

(Looks like cell block C is getting a new Santa for their annual Christmas party.)

A Las Vegas man went to extreme measures to ensure that his teenage daughter, an aspiring MMA fighter, stayed within her fighting weight.  Robert Blue chained his fifteen-year-old daughter to her bed to keep her from eating after he discovered she had gained weight and was sneaking food – canned peas and corn, of all things – and only released her to eat small meals and train with renowned Muay Thai coach Master Toddy.

According to a local news station the girl is a promising athlete, but suffered from having a moronic, overbearing father:

She holds world records for youth power lifting. She was vicious in the mixed marital arts ring. And her trainer Master Toddy says she has character.
"She has a heart. If she wants to be a fighter, she can be," Master Toddy said.

Blue also kicked his daughter, hit her with a stick and a weight belt, all, presumably, to help her become a champion fighter.  Just goes to show you that stage parents exist even in the sporting world, and are equally as disgusting.  But wait, it gets weirder and sicker:


MMA Agents Unite to Block Pro Elite Contract Auction

Ken Pavia MMA agents
(You do not want to mess with this man. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle via

Led by the always-outspoken Ken Pavia, a group of high-profile MMA agents have joined forces to block their fighters from being sold to the highest bidder during Showtime’s planned auction of Pro Elite’s corporate assets on November 17th. From a new press release drafted by the Pav, and signed by Monte Cox, Ed Soares, and Cesar Gracie, among others:

Individually we consummated promotional agreements with Pro Elite. These agreements were made based on a multiplicity of factors including but not limited to relationships with certain Pro Elite personnel, venues, television exposure, jurisdictional concerns, public relations support, and numerous other intangibles. These considerations are not readily transferable…

We intend to fight the lawful ability to transfer these assets, and as we believe these are personal services contracts, we do not believe there is an obligation to perform if transferred. With pooled resources we are prepared to fight this issue.

The unity of this effort is unprecedented and the message that is being sent is clear. Absent significant pre-established negotiated terms, do not bid on these contracts unless you are prepared to fight the challenge to their legality. It is our intention to honor our commitment to Pro Elite, but if Pro Elite is not able to perform in accordance with the contractual terms, the fighters should be granted unrestricted free agency with the unfettered ability to enter the marketplace.

It’s good to see business rivals uniting for the rights of their fighters, especially when they haven’t always been civil towards each other in the past. Hopefully Showtime will get the message that some of these “assets” they plan on auctioning actually represent the livelihoods of human beings.


Pro Elite Clings to Life, Contracts

(Surely Kimbo’s brilliant legal council will find a way out of this mess.)

Remember when Pro Elite ceased operations and filed for bankruptcy? Well, turns out they didn’t. At least that’s their story now. As fighters still under contract with them have been filing notices to get free, Pro Elite has responded by informing those fighters that the company has not declared bankruptcy and that it intends to stage an event in 2009.

A notice sent out to several managers representing Pro Elite fighters states:

“Elite XC and ProElite are currently downsizing its staff in an effort to improve its business moving forward. As this process is implemented, Elite XC cancelled the event previously scheduled for Nov. 8 in attempt to re-schedule another event in early 2009.”

That’s funny, because if I was running an MMA company that was merely downsizing but which intended to continue promoting events, and suddenly there were widespread reports that my company was filing for bankruptcy, I think I might say something to contradict that right away. I might, for example, immediately issue a statement declaring my intention not to just roll over and die. I might even call the people who had circulated those reports a bunch of lying sons of bitches. What I would not do is say nothing at all until fighters started trying to get free of their contracts, and only then come up with an obviously bullshit reason for not releasing them.

As you might expect, no one is buying this explanation.


‘Fighter’ Caption Contest: The Winners

Kenny Florian Fighter
(Kenny is sooooo happy for you!)

Aleksander Emelianenko Vladimir Putin Jean Claude Van Damme

This week’s Fighter caption contest — which centered on a chance encounter between The Grim Reaper, Pooty-Poot, and the Muscles from Brussels — was an overwhelming success, hauling in 440-ish entries, nearly all of which revolved around some combination of hepatitis and homoeroticism. Three of them were good enough to earn copies of Fighter, courtesy of Viking and Coach. But first, some honorable mentions:

crookshark: In spite of his fighting skills, Aleksander Emelianenko proved to be terrible at musical chairs.

Destro: Jean-Claude breathed a sigh of relief…finally, someone who was even more underdressed than he was.

Horror Fighter: Frank Dux stopped smiling when Aleks reached into his shorts and pulled out Jackson’s Harley-Davidson bandana.

Dangada Dang: Jean Claude recovering from what will go down in history as THE most awkward boner.
*previous record held by….Jean Claude Van Damme

And the winners are…


Caption Contest: Win a Copy of ‘Fighter’

Forrest Griffin Fighter UFC MMA
Fighter book coverQuinton Rampage JacksonKenny Florian UFC
(Sample images courtesy of Viking Studio. Click thumbnails for larger versions.)

This month marks the release of Fighter: The Fighters of the UFC, a collection of black-and-white portraits of over 100 UFC fighters, shot by acclaimed photographer/Coach president Reed Krakoff. The book features a foreword by Sam Sheridan, and a portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Yellow Ribbon Fund. According to the press release, “The striking images are juxtaposed with quotes from each fighter, whose candor will be surprising to even die-hard UFC fans.” And the best part is, we’re giving away three copies to you, our loyal readers. Just provide a clever caption to the photo that’s after the jump, and we’ll pick our favorites on Friday. Feel free to enter more than once; good luck…