ANOTHER SPOILER: It’s not Zeus, Neptune or the Kraken, either.

Okay, so the title of the article gives you no hints at all whatsoever on who Michael Bisping’s next opponent is. Given that Michael Bisping has been calling out seemingly every relevant middleweight, the title can be referring to any fighter that would make sense as an opponent for “The Count,” and even a few that wouldn’t. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

Well, The Count now has an opponent in place for September 22′s UFC 152 in Toronto. Standing across the cage from Michael Bisping will be none other than Brian Stann.

When we last saw Stann in action, the former Marine made very quick work of Alessio Sakara at April’s UFC on FUEL TV 2, knocking him out two and a half minutes into their bout. Stann was then expected to welcome Bellator Middleweight Champion Hector Lombard to the UFC at August’s UFC on Fox 4, but a shoulder injury forced him off of the card. After being called out by none other than Michael Bisping, “The All-American” would accept Bisping’s callout on July 4th, which I’m sure has some kind of significance.

Seriously, Thiago Alves weighed in at nearly 200 lbs three hours after making weight. There’s still no punchline coming. Props: UFC.com

Almost immediately after last night’s main event of UFC on FX: Alves vs. Kampmann, the Martin Kampmann/Tim Boetsch comparisons came out in full force from fans and pundits alike. One can easily understand why, as Kampmann’s come-from-behind victory over Thiago Alves was the greatest one in UFC history since last week’s efforts from Tim Boetsch. But perhaps this comparison misses the point. While this comeback was obviously at least partially due to a gutsy performance from Kampmann, it had far more to do with questionable decision making from Thiago Alves.

Save for a first round kick that rocked “The Pitbull”, Thiago Alves was in total control of last night’s main event. His stand-up attack was simply too much for “The Hitman”, who offered less resistance as the fight progressed. Despite this, Alves- who isn’t exactly known for his ground game, mind you- attempted a double leg takedown on a visibly hurt Martin Kampmann and wound up getting caught in a fight-ending guillotine choke.

It’s easy to understand why Thiago Alves was eager for the finish, especially after watching Demetrious Johnson be declared the winner of his fight against Ian McCall (more on that later). What is astonishing is the fact that he took the fight to the only place where he didn’t have a clear advantage over Kampmann. The takedown gave Kampmann time to regain composure, and negated the need to get through The Pitbull’s leg kicks in order to utilize his superior grappling.

In the Southern Hemisphere, decisions go down the opposite way.  PicProps:  MMAJunkie

Despite the most carefully laid plans of UFC officials, a rematch will be necessary to determine a finalist in the UFC’s tournament to crown its first 125 pound champion, and an Aussie official has stepped up to take the blame.  

Demetrious Johnson and Ian McCall battled to a draw through three rounds, and would have gone to a sudden victory fourth-round because Zuffa was Batman-prepared and made sure they had a way to settle such an unsatisfying outcome.  But a tabulation error by Craig Waller — the Executive Director of the Combat Sports Authority of New South Wales — mistakenly crowned Johnson the winner, “and turned the whole banger right poofter-saucy,” according to Waller, adding that he felt like “a right frumious Bandersnatch.”

It’s unclear what was written on Bruce Buffer’s cards, but he initially announced ”29-28 McCall, 29-28 Johnson, and 29-28 for the winner by majority decision,” Johnson.  McCall lost his shit and ran out of the cage, and Johnson screamed like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

Now, those announced scores would equal a split decision victory for Johnson — a majority decision would have meant two judges for Johnson and one judge seeing a draw.  And it turned out that one judge did see it a draw.  Then it turned out that, in fact, two judges (Sal D’Amato and Anthony Dimitriou) had seen the fight a draw after three rounds, and had wanted to see a fourth round. Waller had managed to miss a 10-8 round for McCall on D’Amato’s card, even though paying attention to such things is kinda important.

(Three hours later, Thiago Alves weighed in at nearly 200 lbs. There’s no punchline coming, that just needed to be said.) 

Tonight’s UFC on FX event marks a lot of firsts for the fighters involved. Guys like Joseph Benavidez, Cole Miller, and Demetrious Johnson will be testing the waters in new weight divisions, even if some were forced to violate a certain CagePotato ban whilst doing so. This evening will also mark the debut of not only the 125 pound flyweight division, but that of two possible future title contenders in said division, Ian “Uncle Creepy” McCall and Yasuhiro Urushitani. It’s amazing, no, inspiring to know that the rosy-cheeked, industrious members of the Lollipop Guild have finally reached Emerald City; they’re almost like people now. I salute their Herculean accomplishment, and encourage everyone reading this to follow your own yellow brick road, so to speak, in their honor.

Anyway, join me, Jared Jones, as I liveblog tonight’s event, starting at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT. Refresh your page every so often, and if I’m not piss drunk by the time this thing starts, we might just make it all the way to the end.

(If I’ve told one reporter, I’ve told them all. No Nick Ring questions. At all.)

The UFC has recently announced a middleweight clash between TUF 11 winner Court McGee and up and comer Constantinos Philippou for the promotion’s second installation on FX, which goes down March 3rd at the Allphones Arena in Sydney, Australia.

Coming off a unanimous decision victory over Korean slugger Dongi Yang, McGee is a perfect 3-0 in his octagon career, submitting Kris McCray back in June of 2010 to win the glass plaque and doing the same to Ryan Jensen in his post-TUF debut the following October. After dropping a decision to Nick Catone in his own debut, Philippou has notched two straight, scoring a split decision over Jorge Rivera at UFC 133 before absolutely blistering Jared Hamman at UFC 140. This one’s gonna be a brawl, ladies and gents.

Announcement comes at roughly the 6:25 mark. Props: MMAFighting.com

We can end the speculation. After last night’s UFC 140, Dana White announced that flyweight MMA will debut in the UFC on March 3, 2012. The event is going to be broadcast on FX and take place in the land where people ride around in their kangaroos all day, Australia. Details, such as a specific venue and fights possible for the card, have yet to be officially released, though we’re willing to bet it’ll be at Sydney’s Acer Arena (just a wild guess).

The UFC is unveiling their newest roster editions with a bang. A four man flyweight tournament is set to begin on March 3, presumably in order to crown the inaugural flyweight champion, and will feature Ian McCall vs. Demetrious Johnson and Joseph Benavidez vs. Yasuhiro Urushitani. Demetrious Johnson and Joseph Benavidez should both be fresh in your mind, as they have had successful runs in the UFC at bantamweight yet are better suited for flyweight competition. As for McCall and Urushitani, we’ve got them profiled after the jump.