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Tag: Forrest Griffin

#WeekofDanga Caption Contest: And the Winner Is…


(That BJ Penn’s UFC Gym is churning out some killers, I tells ya!”)

Without giving myself too much credit, I think it’s safe to say that the #WeekofDanga was an unequivocal success that is destined to become an annually-celebrated tradition here at CP. Likewise, the #WeekofDanga caption contest churned out a ton of great entries and more fat jokes than your average King of Queens episode. I’m sure Forrest would be proud if he weren’t so steaming mad right now.

But alas, there can be only one winner, as I have but one copy of In the Blood to give. And that winner is B. Donovan Fousel for an updated take on a classic idiom:

One sometimes misses the Forrest for all the trees… And by trees I mean bacon.

I’m not 100% sure if the metaphor even works in this instance, but that’s the kind of pun that forces me to ask the tough questions, you know? For ambition alone I say bravo, Mr. Fousel. Shoot us your mailing address and I’ll get your copy of In the Blood in the mail ASAP. Thanks to everyone who entered!

-J. Jones

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#WeekofDanga Caption Contest: Win a Copy of “In the Blood” on DVD!

Many of you newer readers might not know that, long before I was ever a dumb shit douchebag writer hack here, I was just a dumb shit douchebag commenter. You know, in the pre-Facebook times. The long-long ago, as it’s called. In any case, one of my favorite features of the ‘Tato back in the day was their/our caption contests, which have waned off a bit in recent years. So, being that this is the soon-to-be celebrated annually #WeekofDanga, I figured that I might as well revive an old relic as a way to give back to you, our fiercely-loyal-except-when-you-aren’t readers.

Unfortunately, I don’t have much to offer in the way of MMA memorabilia. I do, however, have an extra copy of In the Blood (read our review here) on DVD collecting dust in my room. It’s still in the plastic and everything. So if it’s a physical copy of the movie in which Gina Carano has her underwear ripped off while handcuffed that you’re seeking, join me after the jump to find out how you can win one fo’ free.

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Today in WTF?!!: Chris Weidman, Forrest Griffin Pimp Jewelry Stores and DUI Defense in Hilariously Awkward Commercials


(“OK Chris, for this scene, we’re going to need you to act as if you’re reading your lines directly from a cue card. Just look as uninterested as humanly possible and stare as far off-screen as you can. And Marivi, if you could just stare directly at the guy holding the boom mic-PERFECT.”)

It really is difficult to believe anything you see or read on April Fool’s day. Just this morning, a friend of mine who happens to be a traveling musician posted that his band had booked a gig as John Mayer’s opening act for his upcoming Australian tour. After congratulating him on his tremendous accomplishment, I quickly learned that the whole thing was a ploy perpetuated for Facebook likes. Needless to say, he is now dead to me.

Needless to say, I was equally skeptical when videos of Chris Weidman and Forrest Griffin pimping a jewelry store and a DUI defense lawyer, respectively, appeared in my inbox this afternoon. But upon further research (dialing both phone numbers and laughing hysterically until the receptionists hung up), I have determined that what you are about to see are in fact legitimate ads featuring the current middleweight and former light heavyweight champion, which is easily more hilarious than any April Fool’s day joke you will be privy to today or possibly ever.

After the jump you will find videos of both ads, as well as our in-depth analysis of both fighters performances, complete with screengrabs.

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Sad Quote of the Day: Forrest Griffin “Can’t Shoot a Basketball, Can’t Throw a Ball, and Has to Brush His Teeth With His Left Hand” These Days


(And to top it all off, his depth perception has somehow gotten *worse*. Photo via Getty.)

Remember how Ronda Rousey told Miesha Tate that she “should get used to wiping her ass with the other hand?” Well, if Forrest Griffin is to be believed, alternate arm ass wiping is probably a reality she’ll be facing down the line regardless of what Rousey does to her at UFC 168.

Griffin recently appeared on The MMA Hour to discuss life after the UFC, and when asked if there ever a possibility we’d see him unretire (because us MMA journalists simply cannot leave well enough alone), Griffin gave a typically candid response:

I physically can’t (come back). I didn’t want to be done, in the beginning. When I announced my retirement, that was actually when I was trying to come back and I realized, it just wasn’t viable. It passed me by. My shoulder is done. I brush my teeth with my left hand now. That’s just the way it goes. I can’t shoot a basketball, I can’t throw any kind of ball. I was right handed.

The last three years, I was kinda fighting with one arm, on and off. My training camp was, I don’t want to call it Frank Mir style, but it was Frank Mir style. It’s like, I’m going to work on whatever hurts the least today. What are we doing today? Well, what’s not broken today? That’s what we’re going to do today.

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The UFC’s HIV Awareness Campaign Is Seriously Called ‘Protect Yourself at All Times’


(I suppose that would make Forrest’s loss to Anderson Silva a regrettable night of unprotected blackout sex in a truck-stop bathroom. / Image via OutSports)

The UFC has announced plans for a campaign to increase awareness of HIV and AIDS, particularly among high-risk groups. Yahoo! Sports’ Kevin Iole spoke with UFC chief operating officer Lawrence Epstein about the campaign recently.

“The Center for Disease Control & Prevention said the awareness about HIV and AIDS among those under 35 is surprisingly poor. Given that the UFC’s strength is with the 18-to-34-year-old demographic, chief operating officer Ike Lawrence Epstein felt it was natural for the company to team with the Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Southern Nevada to promote the Protect Yourself at all Times, campaign,” Iole reported.

Yes, that’s really the name of the campaign. We’ll get back to that in a moment.

According to the story, half of all new HIV cases in the last two years have been reported in people under the age of 30. The 18-34 demographic is certainly the UFC’s sweet spot so it makes a lot of sense for them to help out with awareness-building efforts.

The promotion partnering with organizations in the LBGTQ is also a great move. We always hear about the post-fight screenings that UFC fighters must take for PEDs and drugs of abuse, but they all also have to be tested for HIV, which gives spokespeople for the new campaign, including Forrest Griffin, a personal angle to talk about the issue:

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From Facepalm to Faceplant: The 8 Most Brutal Self-Inflicted Knockouts in MMA History


(“Accepts trilogy-completing title fight with biggest rival, points out where he will faceplant later.” Photo via Getty.) 

Although the fight records officially list Cain Velasquez‘s 5th round TKO of Junior Dos Santos at UFC 166 as coming by way of “Slam and Punch,” the credit should rightfully be given to Dos Santos for executing a picture perfect ninja-choke-into-faceplant KO. It was truly the most spectacular self-destruct sequence ever carried out in the octagon, and one that got us thinking: What are the Most Brutal Self-Inflicted KO’s in MMA History? 

Matt Lindland will be discussed at some point in this article.

Mark Kerr vs. Yoshihisa Yamamoto – PRIDE 27

As Ben previously noted, it’s a good thing that the 2002 Mark Kerr documentary, The Smashing Machine, ended when it did, because we wouldn’t have been able to sit through the tale of woe that Kerr’s career became from 2004 onward.

Following a pair of losses to Igor Vovchanchyn and Heath Herring at PRIDE 12 and 15, respectfully, Kerr would take a three year break from the sport before returning against Yoshihisa Yamamoto (who held a modest 13-16 record at the time) at PRIDE 27. Forty seconds into the fight, Kerr would knock himself out during a takedown attempt. He would walk away from PRIDE shortly thereafter and lose 7 out of his next 9 contests, all by first round stoppage.

This post has gotten off to an unexpectedly depressing start, but such is Mark Kerr. Let’s lighten things up a bit…

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The Top 24 Mixed Martial Artists Who Lost Their First Fight


(Renan Barao: Started from the bottom, now he here. / Photo via Getty)

By Adam Martin

At the UFC 165 post-fight presser last month, UFC president Dana White showered praise upon UFC interim bantamweight champion Renan Barao, calling him one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the sport and remarking that the media hadn’t given enough credit to his eight-year, 32-fight undefeated streak, which has remained pristine since May 2005.

Barao has only tasted defeat once, and it was in the first fight of his career. The fact that he’s rebounded with the longest current undefeated streak in mixed martial arts — despite the fact that his first loss could have ruined his confidence forever — is absolutely amazing to me, as many young would-be prospects have crashed and burned in their debuts, never to be heard of again.

It got me thinking: What other mixed martial artists lost their first fight but then went on to have great success? I expected to bang out a list of ten fighters, but once I started doing the research, it blew my mind that some of the best fighters to ever compete in the sport, and a number of currently top 10-ranked fighters, actually lost their very first fight.

And so, I compiled a list of the top 24 MMA fighters of all time who lost their first fight. The list is based on accomplishments in the sport, overall skill level, and potential. Enjoy, and if I somehow missed somebody notable, please leave a comment below and explain why he or she should be included.

Honorable mentions: Matt “The Wizard” Hume (5-5), Wesley “Cabbage” Correira (20-15), Ryan “The Big Deal” Jimmo (18-2), Rodrigo Damm (11-6), James Te Huna (16-6)

24. Travis “The Ironman” Fulton (249-49-10, 1 NC)

(Photo via ThunderPromotions)

On July 26, 1996, at the age of 19 years old, Travis Fulton fought Dave Strasser in his MMA debut at Gladiators 1 in Davenport, Iowa, losing the fight via first-round submission. He then went on to win 249 fights, the most wins in mixed martial arts history. Fulton also holds the record for most fights (309) and most knockout wins (91) in MMA history.

Mind = blown.

Was Fulton a can crusher? Yes, yes he was. Or, should I say, yes he is, as he beat some nobody in his native Iowa just this past March. But you don’t win 249 MMA fights by accident, and Fulton deserves a place on this list based on volume alone.

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On This Day in MMA History: Anderson Silva Clowns Forrest Griffin, BJ Chokes Out Ken-Flo, And Johny Hendricks Makes a Smashing Debut at UFC 101


(Photo via Getty. Click to enlarge.)

I tried to punch him and he literally moved his head out of the way and looked at me like I was stupid for doing it. He looked at me like, ‘Why would you do such a stupid thing?’ He looked at me like, ‘Oh, did you really think you were going to hit me? What a stupid thing to think you slow, slow white boy,’ and then he punched me. I felt embarrassed for even trying to punch him. I felt like some kid trying to wrestle with his dad.”

That’s how UFC light-heavyweight Forrest Griffin described his painful run-in with Anderson Silva, which happened exactly four years ago today, on August 8th, 2009. The infamous one-rounder took place during UFC 101: Declaration at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, an event that was headlined by BJ Penn‘s second lightweight title defense against Kenny Florian. (The Silva vs. Griffin non-title fight was slotted in the co-main event; to date, it was the only fight in Silva’s UFC career that wasn’t a main event.)

If you’ll recall, Silva scored the knockout with a short, backpedaling right hand (you might even call it Petruzelli-esque), after putting on a brief clinic on head-movement and showboating. Afterwards, Joe Rogan called Griffin’s loss “one of the most embarrassing knockouts I think we’ve ever seen,” which is a little unfair when you consider Anderson’s other-worldly talent and the fact that Griffin was half-zonked on Xanax at the time.

Besides the incredible/humiliating knockout in the co-main event, UFC 101 was notable for a few other reasons. For instance…

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Four UFC PPV Main Events That Were Worse Than Rampage vs. Ortiz


(For ten years, Rampage has been haunted by the memory of that brutal photo-bombing. And on November 2nd, he’ll have his revenge. Bellator 106: Bitter Homeboys, only on pay-per-view.)

By Matt Saccaro

The announcement of Bellator’s inaugural pay-per-view was met with almost-universal criticism in the MMA world. And with good reason. Tito Ortiz vs. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson would have been a terrible main event in 2009, let alone 2013. But with the way people have been mocking it, you’d think that it was the first time a major MMA promotion had a bad fight main eventing a PPV.

This, of course, isn’t the case. The UFC has put on several PPVs whose main events rival Rampage-Ortiz in outright shittyness. For some reason, those PPVs didn’t draw the media’s collective derision like Rampage-Ortiz did. (It’s almost as if the mainstream MMA media is being coerced by some powerful, credential-wielding force…) But that’s OK; CagePotato is here to bring those terrible main events to justice.

So just what has the UFC given us to watch on Saturday nights that was as bad as the upcoming Rampage-Ortiz train wreck? Let’s have a look.

UFC 106: Tito Ortiz vs. Forrest Griffin II

Cracked skull vs. Xanax-laden stupor.

People might not agree with this pick, but Ortiz-Griffin II was an awful main event. By 2009, Ortiz wasn’t important enough to pay for — no matter who he was fighting. Going into the fight with Forrest Griffin, he was 1-2-1 in his last four fights, with his only win coming against Ken Shamrock in 2006. Tito’s best days were far behind him. In fact, he hadn’t beaten anyone NOT named Ken Shamrock since 2006 (and, coincidentally, it was Forrest Griffin who he beat).

Griffin, too, had whatever the opposite of “a head of steam” is going into UFC 106. Rashad Evans embarrassed him at UFC 92, taking the light heavyweight belt in the process. But what Evans did to him seemed tame compared to the legendary beat down that Anderson Silva bestowed on Griffin at UFC 101.

Put these ruts together and you get an overpriced PPV — $60 to watch two guys who would never be relevant again.

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Don’t Believe the Hate, Stephan Bonnar Is a True Hall of Famer


(Photo via Getty Images)

By Elias Cepeda

Yesterday morning I watched the video of Forrest Griffin and Stephan Bonnar’s UFC Hall of Fame induction ceremony, which is embedded at the end of this post. Really, I watched to see and hear from Bonnar.

Nothing against Forrest. I love watching the guy fight and he embodies everything that is great about MMA, but I’ve always had a special interest in “The American Psycho.”

Bonnar, or “RoboCop” as they used to call him back in Chicago where he trained with Carlson Gracie Sr. and began his career, was just the second guy I ever interviewed for a professional story, back in 2005. The guys you’ve covered for nearly the entirety of their careers always hold a special place in your heart.

I interviewed Bonnar a number of times over the first few years of his UFC career but since then I have only connected with him a couple times for interviews. The last time I spoke with Stephan was over the telephone for a feature at UFC.com when he came out of retirement to fight Anderson Silva last year. It has been a rough roller-coaster year for Bonnar — who sort-of retired after putting together a three-fight win streak in the Octagon, came back only to be shredded by Silva at UFC 153retired again (for real this time), had a son, and failed a drug test for steroids — and I was interested in what he had to say at his Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

Especially since so many writers have taken the occasion to criticize him and give the UFC flack for including him in its Hall of Fame. I’d always taken it for granted that he and Forrest Griffin both would one day be inducted.

It just made sense. The two of them lifted The Ultimate Fighter and the UFC out of obscurity with their epic slobber-knocker in the season one finale. Griffin won, but Bonnar fought so well that he too was given a UFC contract.

In all, Bonnar would have two razor-close decision fights with Griffin, who himself made history as the first-ever fully unified (UFC, Pride, Pride Grand Prix) linear 205-pound champion. For nearly a decade, Bonnar fought the best and toughest the UFC had to offer and the only guy to truly out-class him was Anderson Silva. That fight, of course, happened because Bonnar was willing to come out of retirement and help save an event for the UFC and the fans.

There’s good reason to believe that professional mixed martial arts would not exist today if not for the UFC. There’s also good reason to believe that the UFC would not exist today if not for TUF 1, and the unforgettable climax that Griffin and Bonnar provided in their finale bout.

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