(*sniffle*…and then…and then the bad man told me that i would never amount to anything, and that I had a big, stupid face…*begins bawling hysterically*) 

Tito Ortiz is to conspiracy theories what Wilmer Valderrama is to “Yo Momma” jokes. A fun fact: After slipping on a patch of ice in his driveway and bruising his tailbone as a child, Tito Ortiz convinced himself that the residual water was left behind by an opposing wrestling team in an effort to take him out of the competition. Twenty-some odd years later…crab people. The HAARP Machine? Started by Ortiz to explain his loss to Frank Shamrock at UFC 22. Zeitgeist? A Tito Ortiz production attempting to write off his performance at UFC 44. And don’t even get Tito started on that completely flawed Magic Loogie theory.

Anyways, we haven’t heard much from Tito since he dropped a close decision to longtime rival Forrest Griffin in his retirement fight at UFC 148. Unfortunately, Ortiz recently emerged from hiding to take one final dump on the promotion that made him the man he is today (and a boatload of cash to boot), throwing everyone from Joe Rogan to Dana White under the bus along the way.

Video after the jump. 

Opinions that fans and pundits have on testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) and its place in MMA are about as varied as the search engine terms that brought you here. With Dana White promising to “test the shit out of” fighters on testosterone replacement therapy to Vitor Belfort lashing out at his critics on Twitter over his own TRT usage, we’ve seen two different extremes over the course of this weekend alone. It’s a complicated issue that has many different ways of being interpreted; possibly none of which are entirely right or wrong by themselves. With that in mind, here’s an attempt at condensing the plethora of opposing views on the issue into nine different ways to look at it, arranged in no particular order.

1.) It’s Incredibly Dangerous For Both Fighters Involved.

Perhaps the most common criticism I’ve heard and read regarding testosterone replacement therapy in MMA is that it makes an already dangerous occupation even more hazardous. This is easy to observe through the perspective of the user’s opponent. It’s one thing if Barry Bonds wants to hit longer home runs, or if Hedo Turkoglu wants to flop harder — their opponents are not physically hurt by their actions in either example. However, if an MMA fighter takes testosterone to become more aggressive and punch harder, the likelihood of his opponent suffering irreparable brain damage increases dramatically.

Often neglected, however, are the additional long-term risks that the TRT user opens himself up to. Testosterone may make a fighter faster and stronger, but it doesn’t exactly undo brain damage. Prolonging a fighter’s physical prime also elongates the amount of time he’s receiving blows to the head. Imagine if boxers like Meldrick Taylor and Riddick Bowe – who showed signs of dementia pugilistica by the ends of their careers yet didn’t retire until they couldn’t stay in shape — had access to testosterone replacement therapy. Giving aging fighters the illusion that they can keep taking shots to the head because they’re still in good physical condition is bound to end in disaster.

2.) TRT Isn’t Nearly The Advantage It’s Made Out to Be.

If you were to ask someone like Tim Kennedy why so many fighters have been pulling out of their scheduled fights due to injury this year, he would likely tell you that more often than not, they were faking it. And while he would have at least one case to cite as an example, we’d still like to believe that 90% of the fighters who have gone down with injuries recently were being honest with us. Still, even BG was suspicious when Forrest Griffin withdrew from his UFC 155 contest with Phil Davis, because let’s be honest, it was a terrible matchup for him to begin with. FoGriff has repeatedly stated over the past year or so that his retirement from the sport was looming on the horizon, so one would imagine that he’d like to go out on a win, or at least a fight he saw as winnable heading into it.

Well, you’ll be happy (and disgusted) to know that Griffin wasn’t faking anything, unless by faking, you mean “intentionally taking a sledgehammer to his knee until he passed out from the pain.” Because if the above photo that Forrest tweeted on Christmas is indeed legitimate (and we’re not sure how it couldn’t be), then there is no way in hell he could have possibly faked the gruesome MCL and ACL injury he suffered in training.

(I mean, seriously. Y’know?)

The UFC Injury Curse of 2012 has another big-name trophy to hang on its wall — Forrest Griffin, who will miss his UFC 155 main card match against Phil Davis on December 29th due to a wrecked knee. UFC president Dana White passes along the sad (but at this point completely unsurprising) news:

Forrest Has MCL tear and ACL strain. 20 cc’s of blood removed from his knee and the saga continues at the UFC!!

No word yet on whether Davis will be getting a replacement opponent at the “Dos Santos vs. Velasquez II” event, or if he’ll be pulled from the lineup. Keep in mind that Davis was himself a replacement for Chael Sonnen, who ditched his matchup against Forrest when his TUF 17 coaching opportunity came up.

We’ll update you when we hear more.

(Click for full-size image.)

Like and Share this post on our Facebook page for a chance to win the killer Optical Panacea poster shown above, signed by Urijah Faber himself. Five winners will be selected at random by Monday. Thanks to Torque Sports and Performance for the hookup, and stay tuned for more Torque gear giveaways coming soon! Now, onto today’s links…

- Must-See Infographic: UFC History, Facts, and Figures (Havocstore.co.uk)

- Vitor Belfort: Forrest Griffin Declined A Fight With Me (Fightline)

- Bellator Debuts in Michigan on Nov 30, Good-Koreshkov Tournament Final Headlines (BleacherReport)

- UFC 154 Judo Chop: GSP and Smashing Past the Guard (BloodyElbow)

- Dan Henderson Says He’ll Help Chael Sonnen on TUF and Corner Him Against Jones if His Schedule Allows (MMAFighting)

- Kyung Ho Kang out, Motonobu Tezuka meets Alex Caceres at UFC on FUEL TV 6 (MMAJunkie)

- UFC Confirms “Minotauro” Nogueira-Fabricio Werdum as ‘TUF Brazil 2′ Coaches (MMAScraps)

- Top 5 MMA Fights Remaining in 2012 (HeavyMMA)

- 10 Moustache Styles for Movember (MensFitness)

- Honest Trailers: The Amazing Spider-Man (ScreenJunkies)

- Is Jeremy Lin Overrated? The 2012-13 NBA Point Guard Rankings (Complex)

- Hey Nostalgia Buffs – The 1990s Really Weren’t Very Good [20 PICS] (EgoTV)

- The Funniest Signs From ‘The Simpsons’ [PHOTOS] (WorldWideInterweb)

- Razor Tales #1: The Barber Shop Club (MadeMan)

(Bonnar has clearly yet to inform the little guy of the rules regarding small joint manipulation in MMA, but we’ll give him a pass for now.) 

I don’t mean to get all transcendent on you Taters, but to me, life is little more than a cyclical series of events; with death comes birth, with loss comes acquisition, and so on. And before you ask, yes, I take all of my philosophical life lessons from The Lion King. So it only makes sense that just a day after we bid farewell to one of MMA’s greatest ambassadors in Stephan Bonnar — professionally at least — we should welcome Stephan’s newborn son into the world.

Stephan released this photo on his Twitter account yesterday, along with the caption: “Just wanted to welcome in my MINI ME to this world…right in time to wish ya’ll a Happy Holloween!”

(Props: AXS TV Fights)

It seemed like a foregone conclusion that Quinton “Rampage” Jackson would fight new light-heavyweight hotness Glover Teixeira for his UFC farewell bout. Unfortunately, Teixeira’s medical suspension could delay the meeting even further, as the Brazilian slugger may have injured his right hand and elbow while breaking his arm off in Fabio Maldonado’s ass at UFC 153.

In this clip from Inside MMA, Bas Rutten drops the bad news on Jackson, who explains that he’d rather not wait six more months to get back in the cage…so what’s Forrest Griffin up to these days, anyway? When Bas is informed that Griffin vs. Phil Davis has already been booked, it’s tantrum time for Quinton:

“That’s gonna be a boring fight! No disrespect to anybody, but that’s gonna be a boring fight, I’m sorry…This is why I’m leaving the UFC. I don’t understand what Joe Silva’s doing. Joe Silva have a complex, something’s wrong with him. The guy can’t match *shoes*. What kind of matchmaker is this guy? What is he thinking? Give me Forrest. Everybody wants that, that would sell, everybody wants to see me and Forrest fight again. Everybody keeps talking about it.“

(We’ll give you an A for effort, Rashad, but we don’t think you have the..ahem… skin tone to pull off Sloth from The Goonies this Halloween.) 

For those of you who were hoping to see Rashad Evans test the waters at middleweight, it looks like you’ll have to keep waiting, because it has been reported by the Brazilian outlet SporTV that Evans will be facing off against Antonio Rogerio Nogueria at a TBD event planned for Super Bowl weekend in Las Vegas.

Prior to his failed light heavyweight title bid at UFC 145, the TUF 2 winner scored big victories over Phil Davis — who trounced Nogueira back at Ultimate Fight Night 24 — and Tito Ortiz — who was defeated by Lil’ Nog in December of last year. Following hsi win over Ortiz, Nogueira recently called out Forrest Griffin — who lost his title to Evans at UFC 92 and defeated Ortiz in his last appearance — but was beat out for the spot by the last man to defeat him: Phil Davis. So according to MMA math…I’m illiterate.

(It’s good to see that someone finally gave Starvin Marvin something to eat.) 

According to a tweet sent out by UFC Brazil, light heavyweight grappling whiz Phil Davis will be the man to replace Chael Sonnen against Forrest Griffin at UFC 155. When Sonnen passed over Griffin for a TUF coaching gig and light heavyweight title shot against Jon Jones, everyone from Stephan Bonnar to Antonio Rogerio Nogueira were being rumored as potential opponents for Griffin, who is coming off a unanimous decision victory over longtime rival Tito Ortiz in their trilogy match at UFC 148.

After coming up short in a tedious affair against Rashad Evans in the headlining match of UFC on FOX 2, Davis was looking to rebound against Wagner Prado at UFC on FOX 4, but an unfortunate eye poke resulted in an unsatisfying no-contest being declared. Davis and Prado met again at UFC 153, where Davis was able to secure a brilliant second round submission via anaconda choke victory. It was the same submission Davis used to defeat top light heavyweight prospect Alexander Gustafsson back at UFC 112 in April of 2010. If you’re keeping track, the current record for fighters who were the victims of a fight-ending eye poke in immediate rematches is now 1-3 (Scott Smith, Waachiim Spiritwolf, and Prado all came up short, with only Anthony Johnson managing to earn some revenge).

Believe it or not, Potato Nation, but there was a brief moment in time when Chael Sonnen was supposed to rematch Forrest Griffin in his return to the light heavyweight division at UFC 155. You might not remember it due to the fact that upon announcing his change in weight class, Sonnen almost immediately skipped over Griffin to set his sights on Jon Jones, a decision that proved ultimately fruitful. Surprisingly, FoGriff seemed at least partially relieved not to be fighting that “boring” Sonnen fellow, but when he is made aware that he’s now been called out by Antonio “Lil’ Nog” Nogueira because of it, we imagine he’s going to wish he could still fight the middleweight wrestler with no KO power and poor submission defense who he has already beaten.

One thing you might recall is that Griffin and Nog were set to meet way back at UFC 114 before a shoulder injury forced the TUF 1 winner out of the contest. Griffin was replaced by Jason Brilz, who turned in one of the most respectable losses in UFC, nay, MMA history that night, coming up just short by way of split decision. Since then, Lil’ Nog has gone 1-2, dropping a pair of UD’s to wrestlers Ryan Bader and Phil Davis before beating the poop out of Tito Ortiz at UFC 140. Griffin is also coming off a win over “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” (I refuse to acknowledge this “People’s Champ” nonsense), albeit by another close decision in their trilogy-completing/Ortiz-retiring match at UFC 148.

(This fan-made hype video was first posted to YouTube on September 30th. Wow. CletusDamVan must have read The Secret.)

Ugh, you guys, I had the worst dream last night. I was at home, but it was actually the house I grew up in, you know? I was watching TV, and suddenly all the lights went out. Dana White walked in through the back door. He told me — and here’s the freaky part — that Jon Jones and Chael Sonnen would be coaching the next season of The Ultimate Fighter, and they’d actually be fighting for the light-heavyweight belt in April. I was like, “Why? Why are you doing this?” And he said, “Because I fucking hate you.” And when he said that, I realized it wasn’t Dana White, it was my own father. Then, my teeth started cracking and falling out one by one, and-OH MY GOD NO! AHHHHHHHH! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! [scene]

Look, we’re not alone in our utter distaste for this booking. Elsewhere on the Internet, pundits have called Jones vs. Sonnen (vs. TUF) a thinly-veiled money grab that reeks of desperation and sets a horrible precedent. But this matchup is now our reality, and we have to deal with reality on reality’s terms. Here’s a sample of the fallout and news updates that yesterday’s bombshell kicked up:

- Tweet of the Day, from Dan Henderson: “I guess I should just quit training to win fights and to be exciting for the fans and just go to shit talking school. @danawhite”. Dan and Chael might be bros from way back, but that clearly doesn’t make this news any easier for Hendo to swallow. It’s insulting, really. Henderson is still the most rightful challenger to Jones’s belt, but an ill-timed injury has apparently put him on the UFC’s “pay no mind” list. Don’t make us say it.

- More sour grapes: Of course, Sonnen’s new opportunity now leaves Forrest Griffin without an opponent; FoGriff was originally supposed to meet Sonnen at UFC 155 in December. As you can imagine, Griffin doesn’t seem too thrilled about this latest development either, telling Ariel Helwani, “I’m not mad at him. Why fight your way to the top when you can talk your way to the top? I’m actually happy I’m not fighting him anymore, because watching his fights was boring and tedious.” The hot new rumor is that Griffin could possibly face the recently-wrecked Stephan Bonnar instead. Fine, whatever.

- And now, the Chael Sonnen reaction video you’ve all been waiting for/dreading…

(Oh Michael, I just miss the days of one UFC event a month is all.) 

As BG previously lamented, it’s been kind of a depressing week in MMA news (or in his case, year). Stefan Struve tearfully discussed his father’s recent cancer diagnosis, there was a slew of firings, a once great show continued it’s downward spiral into irrelevance, and the injury curse of 2012 made sure to pop in and remind us that it was still around.

But it is always darkest before the dawn, Potato Nation. So sayeth Two-Face.

Because through all of the depressing doom and gloom reporting we brought you guys this week, you kept your heads up. You stood tall and proud. Hell, you even had the intestinal fortitude to mock others’ misfortune like we taught you to. So with our faith restored, we are proud to bring back the Comment of the Week today so at least one of you can be rewarded for your ruthless, blackened souls.

Listed after the jump are the comments that gave us some much needed laughs this week, along with a poll for you to vote on your favorite. The winner will receive one of our classic “We Pull No Punches” shirts, but make sure to submit your designs for our next t-shirt contest, as we plan on giving a bunch away in the near future.

And the nominees are…

(Well, at least he’ll be really funny!) 

It’s no understatement to say that the fight between Forrest Griffin and Stephan Bonnar at the TUF 1 Finale basically saved the sport of MMA from those damned dirty machines. What machines are we referring to? These machines. But as you all know, our ambitiously misguided Skynet overlords have continued forward in their quest to replace man on the top of the food chain nonetheless. Lucky for us, the universe is about give birth to the John Connor that will eventually save the sport of MMA, nay, the world, from the cold, lifeless grip of the cyborgs. And by “universe” we mean Stephan Bonnar’s wife, Andrea, and by John Connor we mean Griffin Bonnar, a name so coincidentally similar slash awesome that only this man could have come up with it.

Yahoo! Sports has the details:

UFC fighter Stephan Bonnar will become a first-time father sometime in October. Bonnar and his wife, Andrea, haven’t decided definitively upon a name for their unborn son, but one name they’ve kicked around is Griffin. As in, Griffin Bonnar.

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(In retrospect, this news should not come as a huge surprise.)

While appearing on a recent edition of MMAFighting’s The MMA Hour, former light heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin informed Ariel Helwani that following his UFC 101 loss to Anderson Silva back in 2009, he failed his post-fight drug test. No, not for elevated levels of testosterone, but for Xanax of all things:

I failed my drug test I think for Xanax. I had a doctor’s prescription, I was just, I didn’t do it before the fight, I did it the night before, I was nervous and I couldn’t sleep.

Why this failed test was not made public by the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission is anyone’s guess, but we’re going to assume that Griffin was simply given a pass because he was essentially fed to the wolves over an open flame. That, and it seems that the idea of fighting Silva is enough to make any of his opponents at LHW become suddenly dependent on an outside prescription for one thing or another. Just ask James Irvin.

(“What kind of backwards country is this? The game is called Whac-a-Mole, not Whac-a-Capybara, and the animals aren’t supposed to be alive!”)

Just a few hours ago, we promised that a few beautiful knockout videos would successfully help us all blissfully drift into a world where injuries no longer determined both the content of every other CP article and the makeup of every other UFC card, but it seems our vision of an impossibly awesome MMA utopia is merely that…an impossibility.

Be that as it may, some of you might be pleased to hear that amidst the UFC 153 clusterfuck of injuries lies a potential silver lining. According to FightersOnly, who have sited several anonymous sources, a grudge match years in the making between Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen is being looked at as a possible replacement for UFC 153 now that Jose Aldo — or perhaps, the general incompetence of Brazilian drivers — has massacred our dreams of a featherweight title superfight.

Details remain sketchy at the moment, but in a recent interview with Portal do Vale Tudo, Silva stated that he would be more than willing to step up for the good of the UFC and his home country’s fans if asked to do so:

I think fighting in Rio would be great. Under no circumstances could I turn that down. I would love to fight for the crowd in Rio, and if it were against that guy who everybody wants me to face, it would be beautiful.

Spoiler alert: Chael Sonnen is “that guy who everybody wants me to face.”

More on this potential showdown after the jump.

(Just bide your time, Chael, he’s gonna walk right into that kneebar any second now.) 

The current betting line on Forrest Griffin vs. Chael Sonnen is downright insane.

Say what you want about how Griffin has looked in the octagon as of late (Seriously, do it. Here are a few adjective suggestions: sluggish, apathetic, hairy, manic-depressive), but even we couldn’t have seen this coming. When it was announced a few days ago that Sonnen would making his return to 205 lbs at UFC 155 against FoGriff after being tarred and feathered coming up short in his rematch with Anderson Silva, we expected that he would open as a small favorite with the former Light Heavyweight champ, if not even. Despite Griffin’s aforementioned lack of firepower lately, especially considering he was riding the TRT train for his last bout, Forrest is pretty massive for a light heavyweight, and you know, already beat Sonnen once before. There is also the fact that Sonnen’s last fight in the UFC at light heavyweight ended in submission (you know which one), and that Griffin managed to catch him with that exact same submission in their first, etc…

In either case, we were dead wrong.

Currently, BestFightOdds has Sonnen listed at an even -300 over Griffin, which must be based entirely on their respective performances against Anderson Silva, with Sonnen lasting roughly six and a half rounds and Griffin lasting roughly three and a half minutes. But those were a long three and a half minutes, you guys, like watching the puppy you got for Christmas fall through the ice in your Grandma’s pond and drown in slow motion…on that very same Christmas.

Needless to say, if this blatant disrespect doesn’t light a fire under Griffin’s ass, nothing will. We feel like we’ve typed that a lot lately.

Is that line as bad as we’re making it out to be? Join us after the jump for a good old fashioned head-to-head breakdown to see if our outrage is justified.

(Props: fueltv)

With his middleweight title hopes crushed once again by Anderson Silva, Chael Sonnen has decided to return to his original home at light-heavyweight, where he’ll face off against Forrest Griffin on December 29th. Sonnen broke the news himself on yesterday’s edition of UFC Tonight. Watch the clip above to see Sonnen heap praise on Forrest as a future Hall of Famer and pioneer in the industry, before inevitably trashing 205-pound champion Jon Jones. (“I could take Jon Jones’s belt away the same as I could take his candy on Halloween, alright? He’s a little punk kid, I’d snatch it away all I want.”) The weight-class may be different, but the song remains the same.

This will be Sonnen’s first match at light-heavyweight since his UFC debut against Renato “Babalu” Sobral at UFC 55, which he lost by triangle choke. As for Griffin, he’s coming off a decision win (and post-fight meltdown) against Tito Ortiz at UFC 148, in a performance so unimpressive that Dana White suggested that he retire afterwards. Will FoGriff look any better against the Gangster from West Linn?

As Chael mentioned during the UFC Tonight segment, he and Forrest actually fought once before, in the first round of an eight-man IFC tournament in September 2003 that was eventually won by Babalu. Check out the video of Forrest Griffin vs. Chael Sonnen 1 after the jump. We’re not going to tell you how it ends, but prepare to be not surprised whatsoever.

(The season three premiere of MMA Inside the Cage, featuring 12 killer knockouts from MMA events across the world, sent in by fans. Check it out and vote for your favorite right here.)

- Jon Jones Offers Up His Take On Saturday’s Light Heavyweight Bouts (Fightline)

- Nate Diaz Will Get the Next UFC Lightweight Title Shot (MMAJunkie)

- Dana White Thinks Matt Hughes, Forrest Griffin Should Retire (MMAFighting)

- UFC on Fox 4 Judo Chop: The Real Signature Moves of Lyoto Machida (BloodyElbow)

- Frankie Edgar’s 155 Reasons, Episode 1: ’155 Reasons In Defeat’ (HeavyMMA)

- “Great, another UFC ring girl with no ass.” (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- Dana White: ‘Maybe You Do Rashad vs Weidman and the Winner Gets a Title Shot’ (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Olympic Weightlifter Kendrick J. Farris Will Pump You Up (MadeMan)

- The Get Back Into Training Workout (MensFitness)

- 20 Cool Things Buried in Lava (EgoTV)

- If Celebrities Had Three Boobs… [GALLERY] (WorldWideInterweb)

- This Is the Coolest Volleyball Play We’ve Ever Seen (DeadSpin)

Over the last ten years, we’ve watched Mauricio “Shogun” Rua go from young phenom to living legend. Though injuries and and controversial judging have occasionally slowed his momentum during the second half of his career, Shogun enters next weekend’s UFC on FOX 4 matchup with Brandon Vera as a standard-bearer for his generation of fighters, and is still considered among the elite of the light-heavyweight division.

In honor of Rua’s continuing legacy, we’ve picked out the 16 videos that best summarize his journey as a fighter — from the past to the present, from his most unforgettable triumphs to his most crushing defeats. Enjoy, and pay your respects in the comments section.

Mauricio Rua vs. Rodrigo Malheiros de Andrade. Shot in 1998 when Rua was just 16 years old, this footage shows the future PRIDE/UFC star competing in a Muay Thai smoker in somebody’s house in Curitiba, Brazil. Though Shogun shows flashes of his trademark aggression, his technique hasn’t quite blossomed yet, and he winds up getting head-kick KO’d at the video’s 7:15 mark.

Mauricio Rua vs. Rafael Freitas, Meca World Vale Tudo 7, 11/8/02. Rua was 20 years old when he made his official MMA debut against Rafael “Capoeira” Freitas, who was tenacious in his attempts to put Shogun on his back. But Freitas couldn’t keep him there, and the standup exchanges were lopsided in Rua’s favor. After a few minutes of abusing his opponent with knees, punches, and stomps, Shogun finally puts Freitas out cold with a head-kick.

(Thanks to tufentertainment.net for the fitting logo.)

By Nathan Smith

With the recent announcement that Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin have been named as the coaches for the next installment of The Ultimate Fighter series, the MMA universe immediately launched into a full-blow orgasmic ticker-tape parade complete with tons of flying confetti and a marching band belting out death metal tunes. Once I heard the news, it was as if my life instantaneously turned into a beer commercial and the entire Potato Nation was invited. There was a rad pool-party, barbeque, a plethora of hotties, endless alcohol, and an overall quest for fun.

Well . . . . . actually, none of that happened. In fact, when word spread that Nelson and Carwin would helm the next season of TUF, it was officially filed under “WTF?” Judging from the comment section, most of the CP brethren didn’t care for the choices either. TUF is coming off a season that saw the ratings dip lower than they ever had, which could partially be blamed on the move to FX and the dreaded Friday night time slot. Regardless of the variables for the ratings drop, something drastic needs to be done, but is anybody really convinced that Carwin and Nelson are the answer to TUF’s slow and painful demise? Let’s start from the beginning and take a look back to see if this runaway train can be coaxed back onto the main rail.

The Season That Started it All 

The inaugural season of TUF featured future Hall of Famers Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture as the competing coaches who would go mano y mano at the PPV after the season finale. For fans of the UFC, that was good enough for most to initially tune in for the Fertitta-funded experiment. It still remains the best crop of young talent and personalities to ever grace the show; future stars like Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Josh Koscheck, Chris Leben, Diego Sanchez, Mike Swick, Kenny Florian, and Nate Quarry were all complete unknowns vying for stardom in a fledgling sport. You mix in the whole “fatherless bastard” angle and the show was off and running even before the awe-inspiring climax between (pre TRT) FoGrif and The American Psycho. Even before that, we were treated to the greatest speech of all time that has since been condensed into a few words. “Do you wanna be a fighter?” Though there were other memorable moments from the seasons that followed, Zuffa should have quit while they were ahead because it would never be this good again. The unrefined personification of immature talent, undeniable aspirations and gonzo-sized balls oozed from the boob tube during every episode.

(On the count of three, I want everyone who is not pulling a fast one to raise their hand.) 

If there are two things that we would be willing to bet the house on in light of recent events, it’s that half of the scheduled fights for the next few months will be cancelled due to injury, and the few participants who remain standing after the smoke clears will only be doing so as a result of testosterone replacement therapy. So goes the story for TUF 1 winner and former light heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin, the most recent UFC behemoth  fighter who both filed for and was successful in receiving a therapeutic use exemption for TRT over the past couple months.

Griffin joins the ranks of such puny weaklings as Frank Mir and Chael Sonnen that will never be able to produce testosterone naturally again, leading us to wonder how that will effect his chances of survival once the whole apocalypse thing he has been talking about actually hits. Tip #147: TRT is for girly men; always go au naturale.

(What?! You mean no more of this?! This isn’t happening. THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!!!) 

For those of you who didn’t have the patience, the cable package, or the right list of websites to steal last night’s UFC on FUEL event from, we are sorry to inform you that you missed out on one hell of a show. James Te Huna and Joey Beltran set the UFC record for most significant strikes landed within a three round light heavyweight affair at 206, unfortunately giving us cancer in the process. Te Huna also set a record for most significant strikes landed in one round by a light heavyweight with 71 in the first. In the main event, Chris Weidman made Mark Munoz look like Houston Alexander on the mat*, holding him to zero significant strikes en route to a beautiful standing elbow KO in the second round ala Steve Bosse vs, you guessed it, Houston Alexander. Apparently under the belief that Weidman had covered his gloves in smelling salts, referee Josh Rosenthal allowed the New Yorker to land about a dozen or more unnecessary shots to a clearly unconscious and exponentially bleeding Munoz, causing this writer to scream at his television in honest to God horror for the first time in recent memory. As is usually the case with a free card, last night contained its fair share of ups and downs.

But perhaps the most disorienting moment of the night (aside from the few seconds I thought we had seen the last of Mark Munoz) came during the post-fight show, which featured Jay Glazer, Chael Sonnen, and CagePotato contributor/future UFC HOFer Stephan Bonnar. When the three finally calmed down and Sonnen had finished stroking Weidman’s ego with the fervor of a Taiwanese transsexual prostitute, Ariel Helwani was able to snag a short interview with UFC bossman Dana White. After White announced the coaches for The Ultimate Fighter: Billy no-mates vs. Banana Benders, Helwani proceeded to ask about the futures of the fighters that sat just a few feet behind him.

White declared that “He hadn’t even talked to Chael yet” and that “Only [Chael] knows what he wants to do,” but the real bombshell was dropped when White was asked about Bonnar. After skewering, then roasting Bonnar’s dreams of coaching the next season of The Ultimate Fighter opposite Forrest Griffin over an open flame, White claimed that the last time he and “The American Psycho” spoke, Bonnar was considering retirement.

What followed was a heartfelt, if not mildly confusing speech by Bonnar that more or less confirmed this.

(For his final masterpiece, Michelangelo decided to pay tribute to the Biblical hero’s fall from grace through the medium of hamstone. The results were shocking, yet delicious.)

As is likely the case for most of you, we here at CagePotato are more than willing to admit that we all but completely missed out on the failed experiment that was TUF Live. The placement of the show on Friday nights, the rehashed trash-talk and pranks between coaches; it just seemed all too played out and tired to really get us hooked. The fact that Dominick Cruz tore his ACL with only a couple episodes to go only furthered our belief that the season would have been a complete loss if not for the uplifting story of the season’s lightweight winner, Don Cheadle (or something like that).

So when Dana White informed USA TODAY Sports yesterday that the coaches for this season would be polar opposite heavyweights Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin, it more than piqued our interest. Aside from being the winner of the show’s tenth (and arguably least talent filled) season, TUF: Heavyweights, Nelson is by all accounts, one entertaining and funny sumbitch. Carwin, on the other hand, has shown before that he is up for a good joshing as long as it is not aimed at him. If you recall, the last time we got on Carwin’s bad side, Old Dad packed up his things, fled, faked his death, died his eyebrows, and attended his own funeral as a man named Phil Schiffley. The last we heard, he was still reporting on all things MMA from a one man vessel in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean out of fear that “The Engineer” was still looking for him. So clearly, the potential for hilarity between these two on the set is higher than Nelson’s cholesterol levels.

(He may not have invited him to the BBQ afterward, but Anderson was going to make sure that Griffin squealed like a pig one way or another.)

The salaries for UFC 148′s twenty-two fighters were released earlier today, and it appears that Chael Sonnen earned exactly one dollar for every insult he aimed at the people of Brazil, which is 50% higher than the UFC’s current average compensatory rate for drawing the ire of an entire nation, a.k.a the Josh Koscheck clause, so a tip of the hat is in order for The Orgeonian in that regard. It will surely by him all of the medium rare steak sandwiches he could ever hope to have.

In other news, despite getting rocked on more than one occasion in his fight with the now retired Tito Ortiz and sprinting out of the cage like he was reliving his fight with Anderson Silva before the decision was even read, Forrest Griffin managed to walk away with the W and a cool $275,000 to boot. Actually, when you add in his $75,000 FOTN bonus, the total comes to…a much higher number. It would be impossible for us to crunch those kinds of numbers and still get this article together in just 8 hours, so take it for what it is and shut up.

The full list of salaries, along with our thoughts (read:complaints), is after the jump.

Props: MMAfanmade.tumblr.com

Let’s get one thing straight: Last night’s co-main event was by no means a legacy-cementing fight. The legacies of both fighters had been cemented well before last night, with both Forrest Griffin and Tito Ortiz being very influential in the UFC’s push towards the mainstream, being involved in unforgettable fights and holding the light-heavyweight championship. While winning the trilogy would be a nice way to cap off an otherwise lackluster rivalry, it would be nothing more than another “W” in the grand scheme of things. Especially for Tito – while Forrest is arguably worthy of a Hall of Fame induction, Tito already has been inducted.

Which perhaps explained why Tito Ortiz seemed more aggressive throughout the fight: Forrest had little to lose, Tito had nothing to lose. While the aggression of “The People’s Champion” seemed to have Forrest Griffin on the verge of defeat a few times during the fight, in the end it wasn’t enough. For the majority of the fight, Griffin managed to outstrike Ortiz en route to the unanimous decision victory.

Really, there is little more to be said for the actual fight. Two aging veterans entered the cage and performed like aging veterans. Both men looked slow, both men gassed out early, and if it weren’t for the names involved, this fight would have had zero chance of taking home the $75k Fight of the Night honors. If you want to watch the fight again, watch the fight again - if you missed it, you didn’t miss much.

(Right before this picture was taken, Chael asked Anderson to smell his finger. And yes, it smelled like steak sauce. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com. For more from this set, click here.)

UFC 148 goes down this evening at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, and the stakes have never been higher — either Anderson Silva‘s historic middleweight title reign comes to an abrupt end, or all of Chael Sonnen’s limbs and teeth are about to be broken. Either way, we’re in for an interesting night.

Also on the card: Tito Ortiz bids us farewell with a rubber-match against his old buddy Forrest Griffin, Demian Maia makes his welterweight debut against Dong Hyun Kim, and Cung Le tries to rebound against the returning Patrick Cote.

Live round-by-round results from the “Silva vs. Sonnen 2″ pay-per-view main card will be piling up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of Elias Cepeda. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please toss in your own two cents in the comments section.

(This time around, the UFC’s marketing department is looking to drive home the notion that sex sells once and for all.) 

By Dan “Get off Me” George

In the immortal words of Bruce Buffer, “It’s Time!”

On the eve of perhaps the most anticipated UFC rematch in history, I hope to bring my fellow CP readers some insight on how to save your kneecaps from the bookies and perhaps even make a buck or two by trying to follow my logic with regards to potential winners and losers for UFC 148.

For the sake of brevity, I’d like to focus on the dogs. The real money is made betting on the underdogs, and besides, there is nothing more exciting than watching a guy like Alan Belcher twist and turn his way out of certain demise en route to cashing out at three times the amount you originally placed on him (Ed note: Way to rub it in, Dan).

All of our betting odds for this week’s enabler come courtesy of BestFightOdds, so let’s get it on!

Undercard:

Shane Roller (-195) vs. John Alessio (+180)

I like Roller here, the price is fair and I do not see Alessio being able to do much but play defense in this fight. Look for Roller to pull out a decision while Alessio finds himself on the bottom or defending takedowns for the majority of the contest, not unlike his most recent decision loss to Mark Bocek at UFC 145. Simple.

Constantinos Philippou (-175) vs. Riki Fukuda (+165)

This line has moved in favor of Fukuda slightly over the past 24hrs, showing that the public likes Fukuda more and more as the small underdog. I like Philippou if for nothing more than his performance against Court McGee, a fighter similar to Fukuda who likes to move forward and press the action. Philippou has ever-improving takedown defense and better striking than Fukuda, specifically with his hands, and I like him to stop Fukuda’s takedowns and make him pay with his fists.

(In honor of MMAInsidetheCage‘s 100th episode, they put together their 100 favorite knockouts featured on the show. Incredible.)

- Forrest Griffin: ‘Tito [Ortiz] Was Jon Jones Before There Was A Jon Jones’ (Fightline)

- After Nearly Losing Toe In Training Injury, Tim Kennedy Set for Second Crack at Belt (MMAFighting)

- Rashad Evans Willing to Drop to 185 Pounds for Fight With Anderson Silva (FiveOuncesofPain)

- Ronda Rousey Featured Nude in ESPN Body Issue (HeavyMMA)

- Ahead of Title Shot, Strikeforce’s Nate Marquardt Says He Feels Great Without TRT (MMAJunkie)

- Melvin Guillard Exclusive: A Man Living in Memory of His Father (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Video: Chuck Norris Imports Gracie Family in 1988 to Train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
(MMAMania)

- ‘Ted’ Star Mark Wahlberg is Greater Than the Sum of His Parts (MensFitness)

- The Man’s Guide to Survival in a Post-Apocalyptic World (DoubleViking)

- 6 People Who Will Ruin Your 4th of July Party (HolyTaco)

- An In-Depth Profile of a Lady Who Makes Fart Fetish Videos (FilmDrunk)

- Hey, Have You Seen That Video of the Bulgarian Sprinter’s Leg Shattering? (Break.com)

(FoGriff: A laid back guy in every sense of the word.) 

Watching Matt Serra and Forrest Griffin discuss anything from their past fights to the condition of Griffin’s car (which makes me feel a hell of a lot better about the condition of my own) is kind of like watching an Abbott and Costello movie, minus the mythological creatures and slapstick hijinks, of course. The two effortlessly riff off one another like a pair of old pals, which makes Serra’s recent trip to Vegas to film his ongoing series for the UFC, Fight Camp Insider, all the more entertaining.

Taking the typical “light on actual fight discussion, heavy on pizza discussion” approach that Serra has mastered in previous outings, the pair of former champions also make sure to discuss such topics as the shrinkage caused by an ice bath (which I can only assume must be insane), FoGriff’s Ted Bundy-esque mode of transportation, and the ability of Ray Longo to clear a house using only the power of his mighty deuces. Oh yeah, and they manage to find enough time to briefly hype Forrest’s upcoming trilogy match with Tito Ortiz at UFC 148.

Video after the jump. 

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

According to master-pitchman Joe Rogan, the upcoming UFC 148 rematch between Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen (July 7th, Las Vegas) is “more anticipated than any of the previous fights that we’ve called ‘the most highly-anticipated fight’.” It’s also a re-do of what was in my opinion the greatest comeback fight in MMA history, and the champion is promising an absurd level of punishment. But at this point, you’re either going to watch this thing or you’re not. I think we’ve passed the point of “anticipation,” and crossed over into “for God’s sake, can we get this thing over with already?”

UFC 148′s co-main event is the not-nearly-as-anticipated rubber match between Tito Ortiz and Forrest Griffin. “In this third one, there has to be a convincing winner,” Ortiz says, “and that’s gonna be me.” No matter what the outcome of the fight, July 7th will mark Ortiz’s transition from UFC star into retired Hall of Famer. So how will he perform in the last three rounds of his career? And if he manages to carve out a victory, what does that mean for Forrest Griffin?