1 Sep 2014 07:51:40 AM
By Seth Falvo
“If you’re gonna take a baseball bat to a Horseman, finish the job! Because there’s one rule of gang fighting. See, we are the original gang and we’re the most vicious in all of professional wrestling history. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send two of theirs to the morgue.”
Those four sentences do more than anyone else could possibly hope to do in order to establish why “The Four Horsewomen” are anything but. On Saturday night, Horsewoman Shayna Baszler had the opportunity to get revenge on Bethe Correia, the fighter who outpointed Horsewoman Jessamyn Duke at UFC 172 and proceeded to downright ether the stable during her victory celebration. Not to ruin the outcome, but let’s just say that The Four Horsewomen now have to send four of Bethe’s friends to the morgue if they’re still trying to push that angle.
That the legendary Four Horsemen never feuded with nobodies like Hardbody Harrison — and sure as hell never jobbed to sub-.500 fighters — is completely besides the point. “The Four Horsewomen” have become such a tired joke that even mocking people who criticize how loosely they resemble The Four Horsemen on your social media accounts is completely worn out. Since we’re all in agreement that they need a new name, let’s look to some professional wrestling stables who The Four Horsewomen have resembled far more closely. Here are six that fit the description…
A backwoods cult that’s gotten tremendously over with professional wrestling fans, despite accomplishing very little of note.
Why it works: Both factions are led by a compelling, charismatic eccentric.
Why it doesn’t: No offense to Bray Wyatt, but Ronda Rousey has accomplished far, far too much for this comparison to work.