It was an Ultimate Fighter first when the cast members exchanged various bodily fluids via warring food pranks on last night’s show. Eliminated lightweight Dave Kaplan talks us through it in this exclusive Cage Potato interview, and claims all was not as it seemed. We also discuss Junie Browning’s betrayal and what went wrong in the loss to Phillipe Nover, among other things. Enjoy.

CagePotato.com: Now that we’ve all seen last night’s crazy and often gross show, what are your thoughts overall?

I liked the show a lot. That might seem counter-intuitive. Obviously, the end of the show wasn’t the best for me, but I’ve had three months to deal with that. I liked the stuff that they showed. I thought I came off as funny, the type of person that I wanted people to see. I didn’t talk shit about anyone, and I feel good about that. All in all, I thought it was a good show. I might be biased, but I thought it was the most exciting and interesting of the episodes thus far.

It seemed like we spent a lot of time watching these food/bodily fluid pranks unfold.

You know what the funny part about it is? I had nothing to do with any of the pranks that happened. Any of the stuff that Krysztof did with people’s underwear or any of that stuff. I had fish put under my bed, which I thought was a lame prank anyway. But I can’t even tell you where I was when they peed in the fruit. I wasn’t part of any of that. I guess it makes for good television if you like the gross-out factor there.

The semen on the sushi, did you feel that was going too far?

I would say so. Here’s my take on that, and I have to be perfectly honest. I did not eat the sushi. I said that I did, because at that point in the show Kyle Kingsbury was getting on my nerves and I wanted a reason to retaliate, plus Tom Lawlor had actually eaten a piece and I wanted to have his back. So I said that I did it so I could retaliate, which Tom and I did.

(Props: DasGamer)

I’m not a “gamer,” let alone a Gears of War fanatic, so it took me a few viewings to understand what in the hell was happening in this video. But here’s what I’ve gathered: Tomorrow night on Spike, there will be a half-hour special where a quintet of hardcore video game nerds do a little competitive cosplay, with the winner getting a chance to play Gears of War 2 before it’s released in stores. And this is being presented as something that you might want to spend your time watching. Oh, and, UFC heavyweight/TUF 8 coach Frank Mir shows up as a celebrity trainer, though he uses his role mainly to shoot his team in the head and laugh at them.

You know, if Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira was brought in as a trainer, he’d probably invite some guest coaches who actually knew a few things about combat strategy, do his best to help his team achieve their goals, then organize a family-style dinner. But hey, different people have different coaching styles. Anyway, the concept’s pretty ‘tarded. Maybe not ‘tarded on the level of what movies would be like if the characters had cell phones, but ‘tarded nonetheless.

(Props: MMA Mania)

UFC 90 was profoundly disappointing, and UFC 91 doesn’t offer much outside of Randy vs. Brock, but the UFC promises to make up for it and then some with “The Ultimate 2008,” their stacked-to-death year-end card (December 27th, Las Vegas). The official lineup for the event was announced yesterday with the additions of Matt Hamill, C.B. Dollaway, Cheick Kongo, and Yushin Okami. Here’s what we’ll be seeing…

Main card
Forrest Griffin vs. Rashad Evans (for light-heavyweight championship)
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Frank Mir (for interim heavyweight championship)
CB Dollaway vs. Mike Massenzio (middleweights)
Wanderlei Silva vs. Quinton Jackson (light-heavyweights)
Cheick Kongo vs. Mustafa Al-Turk (heavyweights)

Undercard
Yushin Okami vs. Dean Lister (middleweights)
Antoni Hardonk vs. Mark Burch (heavyweights)
Matt Hamill vs. Reese Andy (light-heavyweights)
Ryo Chonan vs. Brad Blackburn (welterweights)
Dan Evensen vs. Pat Barry (heavyweights)

Why Dollaway vs. Massenzio gets a main card slot over Okami vs. Lister is anyone’s goddamned guess. But it’s hard to complain with those three headlining fights. Any early predictions? Remember, “The Ultimate 2008″ isn’t the only card the UFC is putting on in December — there’s also “Fight for the Troops” on December 10th in Fayetteville, North Carolina, and the TUF 8 finale on December 13th (location TBA). Both events will be aired on Spike.

(Big Nog puts it as gently as he can.)

Watching The Ultimate Fighter, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether it’s all clever editing that makes some people/teams look like the bad guys. But this extra footage from last night’s show has me thinking that no, Team Mir really is the evil team.

After the fight we see Jules Bruchez looking downtrodden while Vinny Magalhaes is asking, with regards to Octagon girl Arianny Celeste, “Can anybody get her number?” No, Vinny. Not anybody. Then we go inside each team’s locker room after the fight. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira tries to help Jules understand what the hell just happened to him, while Frank Mir jokes with Vinny and the gang about breaking Jules’ arm. You know, just for laughs.

I’m not saying that Team Mir are all bad people, but if this were an 80′s teen movie, I think we all know which team would be the mean-spirited bunch who gets their comeuppance in the end, and which would be the lovable losers with the hearts of gold who persevere despite the long odds. And can’t you just imagine Nogueira smiling and laughing his way through the training montage while a Bonnie Tyler song blares?

During this week of The Ultimate Fighter, we start off with the Junie fight recap. This guy ran his mouth and couldn’t finish Rolando. In my eyes Rolando could have beat Junie if he would have kept behind his jab. I really wanted to jump the cage and ask him how it feels!!! I had to stop myself because knowing Junie he would have gone absolutely crazy, but oh well, I’ll just have to wait and see what the semi-finals have in store for me.

We started having some fun in practice, even though our practices were always different. We played some games on couple of the days which made me forget about fighting for a while. It reminded me that I was there to enjoy my time there and train hard; there is a time to have fun and a time to work. I really needed it at the time. Meanwhile the other team continued to get upset at us because we were enjoying ourselves and they were miserable.

Then we have Coach Nogueira’s birthday. He could have gone out and had a great time — after all, it is Las Vegas — but he decided to come to the house and hang out with us. We cooked dinner and baked him a cake which was a pretty good time I was glad I could be a part of it, and you see that it really meant a lot to him. Once again the blue team hated on us for this. Let’s face it, that’s all they know how to do at this point. In the house guys talk, that’s a given, but then Vinny started saying that he was better on the ground than Coach Nogueria!!! Word got out to Nogueira, and he didn’t take to it kindly. Coach confronted Vinny, which caused a big scene around the house. Me personally, I would never say that about any of my coaches because I think that my coach is there to help me; not for me to prove anything.

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

During a meeting with the Nevada State Athletic Commission, representatives for Brock Lesnar asked that NSAC remove veteran referee Steve Mazzagatti from consideration for UFC 91′s heavyweight title fight between Lesnar and Randy Couture. While reffing Lesnar’s UFC debut against Frank Mir in February, Mazzagatti called for a pause in the action and a point-deduction when Lesnar seemed to be landing punches to the back of Mir’s head — a decision that arguably cost Lesnar the fight. And it sounds like Brock is still sour about it:

[A]ttorneys David Olsen and Brian Stegeman made their aversion to the referee’s presence known…[claiming] Mazzagatti was “involved in what we believe was a controversial ruling in connection with the Mir-Lesnar fight.” They asked that Mazzagatti be removed from consideration for the UFC 91 main event to avoid “distraction” and “any further controversy.”

It’s unclear how much Olsen and Stegeman’s request influenced the final choice of referee for UFC 91′s main event, though Sherdog says Mario Yamasaki will be the one presiding over the bout. I didn’t know fighters could try to veto referees they don’t like, and I wonder if this will set a precedent where everybody begins requesting that Mazzagatti stay out of their fight. After all, Steve’s the genius who let Kevin Burns eye-poke his way to victory, and has been responsible for more than his share of weird stoppages, from the dangerously late (Boetsch/Heath) to the retardedly indecisive (MacDonald/Doerksen).

Still, if I was Randy Couture, I might be concerned. Does this mean that rabbit-punches are still part of Brock’s game-plan?

Here’s a little taste of Brock Lesnar’s appearance on ESPN’s E:60 tonight at 7 pm EST (which is like, now). The interview seems to be taking place in a barn for some reason. I’m sure it will all make sense when we see the whole thing. In other news…

- Luke Cummo was arrested and charged with “driving while impaired with drugs” in Lynbrook, New York last week. He wasn’t drunk, but was reportedly tested for a drug that officials would not name. Fightlinker says Cummo claimed, at least briefly, that he got a contact high from being in a room full of people smoking pot, and this was exacerbated by eating a bunch of chicken wings. Seriously. He’s pleaded not guilty, and we really hope he decides to represent himself in this case because that would be awesome.

- Matt Hughes says on his website that he talked to UFC matchmaker Joe Silva this week and he may finally get his shot at Matt Serra in April. He also went bowhunting and bagged a deer.

- The UFC sent out a press release today officially announcing three fights for the stacked UFC 92 event on Dec. 27. As expected, Rashad Evans/Forrest Griffin, Wanderlei Silva/”Rampage” Jackson, and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira/Frank Mir are on tap. Said Evans:

“Forrest fights from the heart just like me, and everyone underestimates Forrest until they get in there with him, like me. I think he and I are going to be like Ali vs. Frazier – this will be the first time we meet, but it won’t be the last, so I want to set the precedent.”

(The glory before the fall. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

TUF 8 lightweight Shane Nelson was eliminated from competition on last night’s “Ultimate Fighter,” but not before a night of drinking with Junie Allen Browning turned into a near expulsion for the two. Now Nelson talks with CagePotato.com and reflects on the drunken debauchery, the rivalry with Efrain Escudero, and some of the antics of his blonde friend that he saw for the first time in last night’s episode.

CagePotato: Now that you’ve seen it on TV, what did you think of the way the situation with you and Junie was portrayed? Was that how you remember it?

Nelson: Yeah, it was pretty much what it seems on TV. Basically we were watching the pay-per-view, we decided to have a couple of drinks, we had one too many drinks, and then things got out of control from there. What they didn’t show and which I thought they would show, was the next morning when I woke up I went to Delgado and Efrain and I apologized to them and we all put everything behind us. I’m surprised that they left that part out of the show.

Did Dana White come and talk to you guys the very next night after it happened?

Yeah, Dana White came and talked to us the very next night, but the fight wasn’t the next day after Dana talked to us. The fight was about five days after that whole night. So it wasn’t like the drinking still had an effect on me in the fight.

What was going through your mind when Dana showed up?

Oh, we thought we were gone. Junie and I both thought we were getting kicked off the show, because when we first got there the producers stressed that we weren’t allowed to touch anyone or anything like that, and we both crossed that line. I pushed two people and Junie took a swing at a few people, so we both thought we were going home for sure.

So how did things start between you and Efrain?

Well, we were watching the fights and, I’m from B.J. [Penn]’s school, and they all knew that. So we were watching the pay-per-view and common courtesy, you know, if you make comments about my coach, you know it’s going to bother me. He was cheering for Sean Sherk, which is fine, but some of the comments he made while he was cheering for him got under my skin and that’s how me and him got into it.

(If you look up “pwned” in the dictionary, you’ll see this picture.)

Dana White has revealed to Yahoo! Sports’s Kevin Iole that in addition to the interim heavyweight title match between Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir, UFC 92 will also feature Forrest Griffin defending his light-heavyweight belt against Rashad Evans, and the third battle between Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Wanderlei Silva; the event will go down on December 27th at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Other likely fights include…

Yushin Okami vs. Dean Lister
Cheick Kongo vs. Mustafa Al-Turk
C.B. Dollaway vs. Jorge Rivera
Ryo Chonan vs. Brad Blackburn

Not too shabby so far, though we can’t shake the feeling that it’s still a bit too early for Rampage to be stepping into the cage with his arch-nemesis. That being said, Big Nog by submission in the championship rounds, Griffin by decision, and Silva by TKO in round 2. Feel free to throw in your own early predictions in the comments section…

(G’night, Tom.)

In last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, teams were picked, hearts were broken, underwear was shrink-wrapped, gallons of alcohol were consumed, and the first light-heavyweight got knocked out of contention. Let’s get to it…

The show starts and Junie is drinking already. We get the first (ever?) glimpse of the TUF liquor closet, where quality is made up for with quantity. K-Sos, despite his intimidating appearance, is presented as one of the good guys of the house — a steak-sharer, not a street-fighter.

Brian McLaughlin and Karn Grigoryan, who sustained nose-fractures in their elimination matches, are slapped with 180-day suspensions from the NSAC and are ordered to go home. They hang around the gym in shock until Dana breaks the silence with “Go ‘head guys, you gotta walk out the door there.” Kyle Kingsbury, who looked sharp in his opening-round loss to Ryan Bader, is brought back to replace Grigoryan. Brian will be replaced by a mystery lightweight who flew home before he could be called back again.

Frank Mir wins the coin toss, and opts for first fighter pick. The picks shake out like this…

Mir: K-Sos, Vinny Magalhaes, Eliot Marshall, Tom Lawlor, Junie Browning, Shane Nelson, Dave Kaplan, George Roop
Nog: Ryan Bader, Shane Primm, Kyle Kingsbury, Jules Bruchez, Phillipe Nover, Efrain Escudero, John “Huggy Bear” Polakowski, Mr. X

Former UFC champ Frank Mir was once sitting atop the heavyweight division before a motorcycle accident nearly ended his career. His road back has been a rocky one. A couple tough losses had him questioning his decision to keep fighting, but he has since rededicated himself to the sport and has found new life after a high-profile victory over Brock Lesnar.

Now he’s coaching opposite Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in season eight of “The Ultimate Fighter,” premiering Wednesday night on Spike TV. In this exclusive interview with CagePotato.com, Mir talks about his impending fight with Nogueira, Randy Couture’s return, and just how much he hates cardio training.

CagePotato.com: Frank, we’ve heard past coaches say they don’t like how long the show keeps them out of action, how they’re fighters and not coaches. What was your experience like coaching “The Ultimate Fighter?”

I found it quite enjoyable. I really didn’t think it was all that difficult to be honest with you. Obviously nothing’s easy in the fight game, but it wasn’t like I resented the position at all. It opened my eyes up to a lot of new things as a fighter, seeing other people and how they react to different situations, how they deal with things, and helped me understand how to help them out by thinking about what I would need in that situation. It was kind of nice to jump back that way because it gave me a better understanding of myself.

What does it do to your climactic fight with Nogueira now that Randy Couture is back in the UFC and they’re hyping his match with Brock Lesnar, a man you beat, for the heavyweight title?

I definitely think it takes some of the wind out of the sails. That’s for sure. But I love the fact that Randy’s back. I think he’s a great representative of the sport and I thought it was a travesty that he might have ended his career in a courtroom.

The fact that he’s back, I think that’s great. I’m not upset with that at all, but I think that Nogueira obviously should have been his first fight back, since he’s holding the interim belt. But since Nogueira and I are already slated to fight each other I thought that with him coming back he would wait to fight the winner of Nogueira and myself. I think that would have worked out perfectly. But with contract negotiations and all that I don’t know what the deal was.

The only thing I’m at odds with is that he’s fighting a month before Nogueira and I fight, and that brings up the question of what we’re fighting for. Now he’s fighting Lesnar and he’s getting a shot at the heavyweight title while I’m getting a shot at the interim title. Since I just beat Lesnar, that’s kind of interesting.

Interesting is one word for it. Obviously you’re focused on fighting Nogueira now, so how do you think you stack up against him? What do you do better than him?

(Click here to go to the video)

The season eight premiere of “The Ultimate Fighter” follows UFC Fight Night this Wednesday, and Spike.com has provided an early look at what’s in store in the first episode. They seem to be doing a good job this season of not only providing backstory on Big Nog and Frank Mir — even if it involves some questionable claims, such as referring to Nogueira as the potential greatest heavyweight ever, conveniently ignoring the existence of Fedor Emelianenko altogether — but also not so subtly making the case for the show itself and its importance in the larger UFC framework.

Of course they don’t hesitate to point out that season one alumni Forrest Griffin is now light heavyweight champ, but did they have to follow the line about “future champions of the UFC” with a shot of Chris Leben?

The first episode also offers more reasons to believe that Jose Aguilar will be this season’s most quotable moron. After comparing himself favorably to Hitler, dog, he comes up with this gem when one of the fighters passes out during Dana White’s big speech:

“That [expletive] was loco, dog. Like I was expecting carbon monoxide, more people to pass out or…I don’t even know. Anthrax, dog. Al-Qaeda. I don’t even know what the hell to tell you, dog.”

Something tells me season eight will be one to remember. As long as Jose Aguilar is around to keep punctuating his free associations with the word “dog,” you’ll always have something to look forward to on Wednesday nights.

(Photo courtesy of MySpace.com/MinotauroBJJ)

This Wednesday at 10 p.m. on Spike TV, Antonio Rodrigo “Minotauro” Nogueira begins his duel with Frank Mir on the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter 8. The two heavyweight jiu-jitsu masters will each lead a team of eight UFC hopefuls (four lightweights and four light-heavyweights), while sizing each other up for their own fight in December; the winner will take on the winner of UFC 91′s Randy Couture/Brock Lesnar match sometime next year. Luiz De Souza chatted with Big Nog on Friday to get his thoughts on his TUF experience and the UFC’s upcoming “heavyweight tournament.”

***

CAGEPOTATO.COM: In some of the past seasons of The Ultimate Fighter, the coaches built up great rivalries. Was there ever any hostility between you and Frank Mir? Did he get on your nerves in any way?
ANTONIO RODRIGO NOGUEIRA: No, there wasn’t much of that; we have a lot of respect for each other. If there were arguments they were between the fighters themselves. I went there to do my job. I went to teach the guys, with the goal of not getting involved in fights with the guys inside the house or from the show, but to train them instead. That was my idea. I did my part and Frank did his. At times I was pissed at some of them because some of the guys were picking fights inside the house, and they would lose their control. There was one who wouldn’t quit picking fights, but overall nothing too major.

What do you think of Frank, as a person and as a fighter?
He is a good fighter, very strong, and he has great jiu-jitsu skills. He is also a very cool and nice guy, but he is my opponent, so I am training to fight him.

What’s your strategy going to be when you fight him in December? Would you rather fight him on the ground or standing?
There isn’t really a strategy; my strategy is to finish him. We don’t really choose if the fight will be standing up or on the ground. Whatever happens I will be ready for it.

After he lost to Forrest Griffin, Quinton Jackson partially blamed his performance on the fact that, because of The Ultimate Fighter, he’d gone 10 months between fights. Are you concerned that your own long layoff will affect your performance?
Well, the last time Frank Mir fought was the last time I fought, so the truth is that we both have the same disadvantage. I really don’t like to go such a long time without fighting; never in my life have I gone without fighting for this long. This does make a difference, but this is my job and I will fight when the day comes.

(Guess who’s coming to UFC 91.)

Captain America is back in the UFC, and he and Dana White are best buds once again. At least, that was the story from White’s end on today’s UFC conference call. You could practically hear the smile on his face as the UFC president announced that his heavyweight champ was back and would face Brock Lesnar in a five-round title fight at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on November 15. While White said the organization still plans to go to Portland, Oregon eventually — the rumored site of UFC 91 — he played down any notion that the event was ever really headed there. As for the intense legal battle with Couture, that’s all water under the bridge now, as far as White’s concerned, and there is no bad blood between them.

“Through this whole thing I never said anything really bad about Randy,” White said. “I think the worst thing I said about him was that he was confused. I like Randy. I always have.”

While both White and Couture repeatedly said they were thankful to have the legal dispute over, Couture sounded a slightly different note, suggesting at times that he’d simply been worn down by the lengthy process.

He described himself as “frustrated by our legal system” and said he was “tired of throwing money around with no end in sight.” He also seemed to have been persuaded by the fact of his own age and the prospect that he might not get to fight any time in the near future if not in the UFC.

“I’m forty-five, and I can’t sit around in courtrooms much longer,” said Couture.

(Props: MMA Scraps)

The year was 2004. Britney Spears was still skinny and childless. “Deadwood” had just premiered on HBO. Janet Jackson sparked controversy by showing the world her wonderful, glorious nipple during the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show. It was a different time, a simpler time.

It was also the last time Ken Shamrock’s hand was raised in MMA victory, after a TKO via knee 1:26 into round one against Kimo Leopoldo at UFC 48: Payback. On the same fight card, Frank Mir broke Tim Sylvia’s arm, and a little-known fighter by the name of Georges St. Pierre knocked out Jay Hieron on the undercard.

Now here we are, four years (and, for Shamrock, five straight losses) later, and “The World’s Most Dangerous Man” is preparing to headline a fight on CBS against Kimbo Slice, a former backyard brawler now trained by Bas Rutten. If that’s possible, just imagine where we’ll be four years from now. The world is indeed a strange and inscrutable place.

(Admit it, the camera loves him.)

It’s almost time again for everyone’s favorite MMA-themed reality show, Spike TV’s “The Ultimate Fighter.” A lot of you were disappointed to hear that Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir would be coaching this edition, but does that mean you’ll follow through on your empty threats not to watch when the show premieres on September 17?

Season eight is all about the lightweights and light heavyweights, and the official cast was announced today by Sports Illustrated. Yours truly even has an article about what to expect and what to watch for this time around, which you can read and then send me a hateful email about here. As for the cast list, feast your eyes:

LIGHTWEIGHT

Jose Aguilar
Age: 25
MMA Record: 17-3-0
Trains With: Grapplers Edge
Location: Las Cruces, N.M.

Fernando Bernstein
Age: 25
MMA Record: 2-0-0
Trains With: Progressive Martial Arts
Location: San Clemente, Calif.

Junie Allen Browning
Age: 22
MMA Record: 2-0-0
Trains With: Four Seasons Martial Arts
Location: Lexington, Ky.

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(Next big thing, or MMA’s Ryan Leaf?)

With a blockbuster UFC 87 lineup as our fodder, it’s time again for Cage Potato’s editors to argue like an old married couple that only got hitched because of an unexpected pregnancy. We don’t love each other and yet we don’t know enough to expect better from our lives, so here we are. In this edition we debate topics such as what’s to become of Brock Lesnar on Saturday night and beyond, who will be the number one lightweight contender when the dust finally settles, will Rampage Jackson be back in the UFC any time soon, and more. Let’s grimly get it on.

Will Brock Lesnar revive his MMA career with this fight, or will he officially be a bust once UFC 87 is in the books?

Fowlkes: Clearly the UFC isn’t interested in giving Brock Lesnar a lay-up to help jumpstart his MMA career, and you have to respect that. Heath Herring is tough and experienced and, had a couple things gone differently for him, he could easily be the top heavyweight contender right now instead of Frank Mir, who won all of two straight fights to achieve that distinction.

Lesnar is a physical specimen who is athletically gifted, this we know. But what else do we know about him? He hates airplanes and gays, prizes staying home, and is vulnerable to submissions. Basically, we don’t know what he’s really capable of as an MMA fighter. Strength won’t be enough against Herring (who will have spent the last couple months drilling his wrestling if he has any sense at all) and strength is about all we can count on from Lesnar at this point.

Herring is too crafty a veteran to get overwhelmed by pure power. He’s going to pick Lesnar apart on the feet and submit him late in the second or early in the third, and when he does you should turn up your TV so you can actually hear the air going out of Lesnar’s hype balloon. The UFC will give him a young up-and-comer next, just to see what he has left, but this is the point where he goes from a top prospect to another guy fighting for contract survival.

Goldstein: Yeah, Herring’s probably been drilling his wrestling. You know who else has been drilling his wrestling? Brock Lesnar. I wouldn’t be surprised if either fighter pulled a win out of this match, but there’s one thing that’s guaranteed: At some point, Herring will be taken down and put on his back. Seriously.

In this MMA Rated interview with Heath Herring, he makes it plain that he is not expecting a new and improved Brock Lesnar at UFC 87 this Saturday night. He also seems to think it’s funny that Frank Mir will fight for the heavyweight title next after beating Lesnar, while he beat Cheick Kongo and somehow ends up taking a step back. Maybe the fact that he’s already been beaten three times by the reigning champ played a part in that decision.

Never one to miss a chance at a light-hearted ending (see also: How’s taste my pee-pee-pee and How’s taste my big pee-pee), Ariel Helwani just has to revisit Herring’s infamous staredown knockout of Yoshihiro Nakao at the end of this interview. Herring laughs it off, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t serious about not wanting to be kissed. Just ask Nakao.

(Werdum and Andrei Arlovski throw down at UFC 70.)

As the man responsible for de-hyping both Gabriel Gonzaga and Brandon Vera, Fabricio Werdum is riding high in the UFC’s heavyweight division. And to make sure he doesn’t slip away like Randy, Tim, and Andrei, the UFC has just locked him into a five-fight contract extension, with the promise of an immediate title shot if he wins his next fight. Sweetening the deal is the fact that his next fight might be a cakewalk for the well-seasoned and impossible to finish “Vai Cavalo” — he’ll compete at UFC 90 (October 25th, Chicago), possibly against Junior Dos Santos, a 6-1 vet of various Brazilian shows who’s probably not ready for the UFC yet.

Assuming he wins his next match, Werdum will then face either Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira or Frank Mir, who are expected to fight in late December. Werdum hopes Big Nog comes out victorious, telling Tatame:

“A fight against Minotauro would be like a dream. It would be great for me, because I fought against him at PRIDE and it was a great fight, he deserved the victory, and I want to say that I’m fighting for the belt against Minotauro, probably in March.”

Werdum is referring to his unanimous decision loss to Nogueira at PRIDE Critical Countdown Absolute in July 2006. Following that fight, Werdum choked out Aleksander Emelianenko then moved to the UFC where he lost another unanimous decision to Andrei Arlovski before knocking off Gonzaga and Vera.

Related: Heavyweight Power Rankings

The best highlight video of the week, featuring the world’s greatest lightweights (and Melvin Guillard) laying waste to their opponents. Watch it and take pride in your naturally petite frame. Props to Chris Keller via “CRE” on the UG.

Here’s the PRIDE Bushido 9 fight between Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennett and Dokonjonosuke Mishima, in which the Horse quotes Forrest Gump, extolls the virtues of masturbation, tears apart a stuffed animal, and gets subbed with a heel-hook. Props to MMAScraps.

So, you’re not all that excited about seeing Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir coach season eight of “The Ultimate Fighter”, you say? Think it’s going to be just another plodding season of the same crap over and over again? Well, hold on to your butts, MMA fans, because Big Nog is turning up the heat!

From a recent interview with Graciemag.com:

“The mood of rivalry between us is getting strong. We see each other here all the time, and I’ve known his game for awhile. Ever since he submitted Roberto Traven at the UFC, in 2001, he’s been known. But you’ll see: I’m going to be all over him standing, I’m better than him both standing and on the ground.

“In the fight with Sylvia the way to the win was clearly on the ground, but against Mir I’m going to show more of what I’m capable of to the world and my fans. I’ll always respect him as an adversary, of course. Even more so since he’s trained with Demian Maia and Robert Drysdale.”

Boo-yah! You hear that? The rivalry is getting strong! You know, still respectful and professional between both men who will each try and do their best as sportsmen, but a strong rivalry nonetheless! Take that, Ken and Tito. Now you’re all pumped up, right? Right? Guys?

(Props: MMA Mania)

MMA Junkie reports that the UFC and SpikeTV are finalizing details for UFC Fight Night 14, which will take place on September 17th and will lead in to the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter 8, which beings filming this month. Though no names have been announced yet, the UFC has already begun contacting fighters for UFN 14, which could possibly be held in Florida.

Speaking of TUF 8, the Las Vegas Review-Journal says that the fight between the season’s coaches — UFC interim heavyweight champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir — will be held “probably on New Year’s weekend.” Oddly enough, nobody from the UFC has told Nogueira yet that he’ll definitely be fighting Mir in his first title defense. “Next week I will have a meeting with the UFC directors in order to find out everything about the reality show,” he said. “Maybe I’ll find about my next fight.”

Nogueira is currently assembling his team of assistant coaches for the show, and has already mentioned Amaury Bitteti and his twin brother Antonio Rogerio as guys you might see in Team Minotauro’s corner. We can only hope Nogueira’s partner at Ultimate MMA shows up once in a while to teach the TUF castmembers crazy shit like this:

Check out 1:53-2:04 for Mir’s literally tight-lipped response. Here’s the general rule: If a person can neither confirm nor deny something, they’re confirming it. We’ll just have to wait for a public announcement to see if we actually scooped the MMA blogosphere on this one…

(Props: MMAMania.)

(“Aim for the one in the middle.”)

Earlier today, we reminded you that a fight between heavyweights Frank Mir and Justin McCully was slated to go down at UFC 86; shortly after, the matchup disappeared from the UFC 86 fight card page. So what happened? Well, if you’ll remember way back to last week, we reported that Mir had signed to be a coach on the eighth season of The Ultimate Fighter, competing against a team led by Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. We stand by that report, but it would also make sense that the UFC would now try to convince Mir and Nogueira to headline UFC 85, which still lacks a credible main event — unless they give up and put the card on SpikeTV for free, in which case Bisping vs. Leben is fine by us. We’ll update you if anything is formally announced.

In other UFC news…

— Charles McCarthy has retired. When I first saw that headline I was like, “OMFG, no more Krazy Horse?!” Then I realized they weren’t talking about Charles Bennett, but about that douche who couldn’t fight nearly as well as he trash-talked vs. Bisping last weekend. Good luck with all your future endeavors…?

— The UFC is reportedly negotiating with FOX for a network TV deal, but is going through their entertainment division as opposed to the sports division, just as it tried to do with CBS and NBC. As MMAPayout writes, “In theory, the promotion would enjoy greater editorial control as an entertainment property, which was reportedly a sticking point in its negotiations with HBO and CBS.”

— Brandon Vera’s one-year goal is to win both the UFC’s heavyweight and light heavyweight titles. After he steamrolls through Nogueira (or whoever, really) and Quinton Jackson (or Forrest?), he plans on buying Rampage a car with a vanity plate that says “LOSER.” Just another sad example of the delusional behavior brought on by extended Norco abuse.

(Frank Mir poses in front of the world’s ugliest ring girls.)

Some UFC-related notes as we build up to tonight’s four-hour block of awesomeness…

— Josh Koscheck, who recently signed a new multi-fight contract with the UFC, confirmed yesterday that he will be facing Chris Lytle at UFC 86 (July 5th, Las Vegas). “Lights Out” Lytle (25-15-5, 4-7 UFC) has lost to a who’s who of welterweight stars during his time in the Octagon — Matt Hughes, Matt Serra, Robbie Lawler, and Karo Parisyan among them — but may be on the comeback trail after beating the dogshit out of Kyle Bradley at UFC 81.

— Frank Mir and Justin McCully have also been booked for a bout at UFC 86. With the heavyweight class as thin as it is right now, we wouldn’t put it past the UFC to offer Mir an immediate title shot depending on his performance in July; his disposal of Brock Lesnar at “Breaking Point” proved that he could still be a viable contender. McCully won a decision against Antoni Hardonk during his UFC debut last April, and has won his last four fights overall, but the matchup still feels like it’s intended to be a tuneup for the former champion.

— Xyience Inc. was sold yesterday to Manchester Consolidated Corp. for $15 million. According to the Las Vegas Review Journal:

The sale price will cover only part of the secured debt at Xyience, debtor attorney Laurel Davis said after the hearing. As a result, unsecured creditors and stockholders in Xyience will recover none of their money, she said…

Manchester, which submitted the only approved bid, will pay $200,000 in cash and will assume $14.8 million in debt…

Separately, unsecured creditors on Monday filed a lawsuit in federal court, saying the judge should take $14.8 million in assets from the Fertittas for the benefit of Xyience creditors.

In related news, that hot brunette from the Xyience commercials has been spotted wearing a barrel held up by suspenders. Okay, not really, but it’s an amusing image!

At “Pride of a Champion,” newly inducted Hall of Famer Mark Coleman announced that he would be returning to the Octagon to fight Brock Lesnar. The match is slated to go down August 9th in Lesnar’s adopted hometown of Minneapolis; it will be Coleman’s first fight since losing to Fedor Emelianenko in October 2006 at PRIDE 32, and his first UFC appearance since 1999.

This is kind of like the UFC’s version of Kimbo Slice vs. Tank Abbott — the much-hyped new crossover star against the faded veteran. The major difference is that Tank, even in his prime, wasn’t worthy of hand-washing Mark Coleman’s jock. And unfortunately for Brock Lesnar, his strengths are basically canceled out in this matchup. Brock was a dominant amateur wrestler? So was Coleman. Brock’s got scary ground-and-pound? Mark Coleman invented that shit. Lesnar’s only advantages are youth and athleticism. Does that trump Coleman’s 12 years of ring experience, during which he threw down with legends like Dan Severn, Don Frye, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, Mirko Cro Cop, and Fedor?

In retrospect, putting Brock Lesnar up against Frank Mir in Lesnar’s first UFC fight was a bad, bad idea, and this could be just as bad, if not worse. Coleman lacks Mir’s submission mastery, but he’ll test Brock’s chin with his heavy hands, and he won’t go to the ground as easily as Mir did.

We’ve given EliteXC a lot of grief for protecting Kimbo Slice with cut-rate competition, but at least they understand how to build up a franchise star — one can at a time. I’m starting to wonder if building Brock Lesnar as an MMA star was even the UFC’s intention to begin with. Was Dana White’s secondary motivation behind signing him (after the huge PPV buys) to prove that pro wrestlers would get stomped by skilled MMA fighters? I’m not saying I would have particularly enjoyed seeing Lesnar face Justin McCully, but what happens after he goes 0-2?

(Perfectly legal, mind you.)

Ah, the good old days — when men were men, women were women, and ballsacks could be repeatedly pummeled inside the Octagon without Big John McCarthy doing a damn thing about it. Above, of course, is the fateful UFC 4 fight between Keith “By Any Means Necessary” Hackney, and Joe Son (who later appeared as Random Task in the first Austin Powers movie). By the late ’90s, rule changes had made mixed martial arts look somewhat civilized, and dozens of attacks/holds/gouges were deemed verboten. But regrettably, accidents still happen. And now, our favorite “accidents” ever…

7. Anderson Silva upkicks Yushin Okami

Before The Spider was the deadliest dude in the UFC, he was just a guy trying to get Yushin Okami the fuck off of him at Rumble on the Rock 8. His knockout kick was a crowd pleaser, but unfortunately he was DQ’d on a technicality — Okami’s knees were down.

6. Andrei Arlovski rabbit-punches Marcio Cruz
After back-to-back losses at the hands of Tim Sylvia, Arlovski was dying for a win, and he wasn’t above fighting dirty to get it. When the opportunity presented itself at UFC 66, the Pitbull started whaling on the back of Marcio Cruz’s head. Herb Dean gave him a warning. Arlovski kept doing it. Herb Dean warned him again. Arlovski kept doing it. Herb Dean stopped the fight and gave Andrei the win. Love that Herb Dean.

Five years before Frank Mir disposed of Brock Lesnar via kneebar, he put away Tank Abbott with an ankle-lock at UFC 41: Onslaught (2/28/03). The fight marked Tank’s first professional match since 1998, and Mir’s sixth overall. Though Tank showed some nimble movement on the ground, Mir displayed his ability to keep calm against an aggressive opponent while expertly working toward a submission. Following this fight, Mir won two victories over Wes Sims (the first by illegal-stomp DQ, the second by KO) then faced Tim Sylvia for the title. Abbott would close out 2003 by losing to Kimo Leopoldo and Wesley Correira, then leaving the UFC.

These things don’t last long on YouTube, so stop what you’re doing and watch. One major topic of discussion that has resulted from “Breaking Point” is Steve Mazzagatti’s questionable stoppage/point-deduction after Lesnar hit Mir in the back of the head. Though fighters usually get multiple warnings before a point is taken away for rabbit-punching (see most recently: St. Pierre vs. Hughes at UFC 79), Mazzagatti jumped in immediately, deducted a point, and put the fighters back on their feet. As the theory goes, Mazzagatti actually jumped in to stop the fight, but when he realized that it was a mistake, he covered his ass with an illegal-strike call. Did that cost Lesnar the fight? Let us know what you think…

We like to think that the only losers in life are the people who never try. So basically, we still feel like we’re big winners despite the fact that nearly everything we claimed in our UFC 81 bonus predictions post turned out to be completely untrue. Let’s take a look at those bonuses, which were reported last night:

Amount
We said: They’d be $40,000 apiece.
What really happened: They were a record-setting $60,000 apiece. Maybe that was done to shut up all the critics who questioned the UFC’s profitability after UFC 80′s weak bonuses were doled out. Maybe the bonus amounts are determined based on geographical proximity to Las Vegas. Who freakin’ knows.

Knockout of the Night
We said: Terry Martin, or possibly Kyle Bradley.
What really happened: Kyle Bradley got annihilated in just 33 seconds by a demonically possessed Chris Lytle, who earned the K.O. bonus; Lytle’s new kamikaze style produced one of the most thrilling moments of the night, and we hope to see more of it in the future. As for Terry Martin, he lost a unanimous decision to Marvin Eastman in “Breaking Point”‘s only untelevised match. We predicted the fight would be wild and exciting; it was not.

Submission of the Night
We said: Ricardo Almeida
What really happened: Almeida did indeed submit Rob Yundt (finally, we catch a break), but Frank Mir’s leglock of Brock Lesnar was far more dramatic, and Mir picked up the 60 grand. The bonus brought Mir’s payday to a total of $140,000 when added to his $40k to-show purse and $40k win bonus.

Fight of the Night
We said: Gleison Tibau vs. Tyson Griffin, or possibly Lesnar vs. Mir.
What really happened: Three-round war? More like three-round snore. (See what we did there?) Tyson Griffin showcased his inability to finish a fight during his unanimous decision victory over Tibau, and the crowd let him know that they were not entertained. We thought Tim Sylvia and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira would hug for five rounds, but Minotauro’s incredible comeback victory in the third was enough to score both men the $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus. Since his guaranteed fight payout is $100,000, Tim Sylvia took home $160,000 after UFC 81, edging out Frank Mir by 20 large — for losing. See, we told you these figures never make sense…