Fresh off his angelic Burger King commercial, UFC Middleweight Champ Anderson Silva recently appeared on Brazilian talk show Agora e’ Tarde to sing a duet with comedian and the show’s co-host Danilo Gentili. Apparently after dominating every possible contender in the middleweight division, “The Spider” must have his eyes set on the Grammy’s. Though the performance was less than stellar, the good news is that Anderson can still consult long time hero Steven Seagal for advice in this department as well.

Join us after the jump for a study in Jon Jones’ superhuman abilities and the most unexpected knockout that you may ever see.

(Looks like somebody forgot to "put that little extra in there."  Photo courtesy of The Sun.)

Now that we’ve relaunched our t-shirt giveaways, it’s like a hot load of reeking chum has been tossed into the water with you blood-crazed commenting-sharks. Y’all brought it hard this week, until we really didn’t want it anymore, and we were just waiting for you to finish so we could get some sleep. (So to speak.) Moving on…

mynameisalsoben on "Mark Coleman Has Been Going Through Some Times, Brother":
C’mon we shouldn’t be surprised here…Mark’s always been known to have a small gas tank.

mma samurai on "Herschel Walker’s MMA Debut Has Only Emboldened Jose Canseco":
What’s Canseco talking about? Cyborg is the real bad boy of sports.

Viva Hate on "Completely Unnecessary Rematch Alert: Wes Sims vs. Tim Sylvia II":
Loser needs to retire and the winner needs to retire.

And finally, the audience award for Comment of the Week:

steampunk22 on "The New York Times Attempts to Find Out Why Jesus Didn’t Tap":
Why am I not surprised? The church has been trying to tap young boys for the last thousand years!

If your name has been called, please e-mail feedback@cagepotato.com with your real name, address, and shirt size, and we’ll get a CagePotato Devil Horns shirt out to you soon. (Disclaimer: CagePotato.com’s definition of "soon" may be very different from your own.)

(Props: Nightmare of Battle)

Masanori Kanehara thinks you can, and at his open workout in Tokyo he told media members that that’s how he intends to beat Chan Sung Jung, also known as “The Korean Zombie,” (that’s who he’s supposedly preparing for in the above photo, but man what a cheap zombie mask) in the Sengoku featherweight Grand Prix.  Conventional wisdom has always held that the best way to deal with a zombie is by destroying the brain or removing the head, preferably by doing something awesome/gruesome.  

But the rear naked choke?  I guess that could work, though your risk of getting bitten while sinking in the choke seems pretty high.  Still better than an armbar or guillotine choke, though.  And don’t even think about trying to heelhook one of those suckers.

Basically, to sum up: if there is a zombie attack and you are forced to choose which MMA fighter to team up with until the whole thing blows over, Demian Maia is probably not your safest pick.  Your first instinct might be to go with Fedor Emelianenko, but lest you forget, he’s lived with some fear issues when it comes to darkness.  Something to think about.

On a related note, the zombie embodies man’s fear of the crushing force of society and conformity.  Discuss.

(Props: YouTube.com/chaplinshouse)

The brilliant video-remixer/voice-mimic responsible for the Tito Ortiz music video in the #1 spot of today’s Worst Commentary Moments list dropped us a line this afternoon to let us know that his latest work has just been posted to YouTube. (Good lookin’ out, Chaplin!) "The Douchebag" makes fun of everything that BJ Penn can possibly be made fun of for, including (but not limited to) his lazy training habits, his mother fighting his legal battles for him, his failed appeal to The Rock for a movie role, and how his former jiu-jitsu teacher hates him now. Plus, we learn that when BJ’s voice is slowed down, he sounds basically retarded. (Coincidentally, Jeff Goldblum suffers from the same condition.) Chaplin also has a couple of non-MMA-related videos that you also need to check out. If you can make it through this voice-dubbed scene from last season’s Celebrity Apprentice without pissing yourself laughing…well, good for you. Must be nice having dry pants.

(Props: KahL)

Inspired by such HL-vid masters as Genghis Con, RVR, and Robert Park, a shadowy figure known as KahL-One has gotten into the MMA-film game with this tribute to Demian Maia, spanning Maia’s early fights to his current training with Wanderlei Silva. As you can tell from the intro, KahL seems to think that Demian is the second coming of Rickson — and maybe he’s right.

Below: Ken Shamrock shared his tale of personal redemption at the Fighting With God conference in January, and revealed the source of his early struggles — he wasn’t hugged enough as a child. No, seriously. This video cobbles together the highlights of his speaking appearance, where he gave the lowdown of life with his adoptive father Bob, losing to "a guy in pajamas" at UFC 1, cheating on his wife and the sport (‘roids?), and loving Jesus. A rare insight into the psyche of the World’s Most Dangerous Man. 

After the jump: A weak old man gets beat up by an MMA fighter. And believe it or not, you will be rooting for the MMA fighter.

From lookoutawhale, the crazy mofo who brought us Georges St. Pierre’s Punch-Out!! and Street Fighter II: GSP Riddum Revenge, comes this new GSP-themed remix, which features the cast of TUF 4 just hanging out and watching some game shows together. In the video, as in life, Georges St. Pierre is always the right answer. For more lookoutawhale insanity, check out this animated version of a guest appearance that St. Pierre did on the Adam Carolla Show, in which a caller basically accuses GSP of sodomizing him back in his club-bouncing days. Below: The first preview for a UFC superfight 14 years in the making. Thanks, Garv.

(It looks like GSP learned some of his moves from YouTube too…)

andrewm on "LubeGate Break: For the Sake of Your Sanity": I wish Vermont Teddy Bear Company would start promoting, just so i can hear Dana say, "those fuckin teddy bear guys."

CoconutSkin on "LubeGate Break: For the Sake of Your Sanity": Can we please stop calling it LubeGate, it just doesn’t roll off the tongue. I have found the solution (to more than just this problem) is LubriGate.
[Ed. note: You're right; that slips off the tongue like feet off of a greased-up French-Canadian's back.]

Kadumel on "Trainers Speak Out on St. Pierre Greasing Controversy": For someone with grease on his back, St. Pierre sure did punch BJ in the face a lot.

TUF Guy’s Dad on "Chiappetta: NSAC ‘Doesn’t Really Have a Leg to Stand On’…": Dammit son, you’re embarrassing me
[Ed. note: Thanks for trying to get him in line, TGD. We simply don't know what to do with the boy anymore...]

Alright fellas — send your names, addresses and t-shirt sizes to feedback@cagepotato.com and we’ll send you a CagePotato "Hall of Fame" tee pronto. By the way, if you haven’t won a shirt from one of these weekly giveaways yet, you probably never will, so you might as well just bite the bullet and buy one.

(Gegard Mousasi accidentally interrupts Tito Ortiz’s brilliance at "Day of Reckoning" last Saturday. No, this has nothing to do with your comments; I just thought it was hilarious. Props to VIPete/Gnarly219.)

Scoring the CagePotato "Hall of Fame" t-shirts this week are…

realNick on "Affliction Payouts Are as Ludicrous as You Expect…": Never realized ‘Arlovski 360′ actually stood for the spin Arlovski makes when he gets knocked out.

schnetzler on "Ben vs. Ben: UFC 94 Edition": just to piss you guys off, let’s rhyme more names on the card…

Georges "The Grizzly Bear" St Pierre
BJ "Mother Hen" Penn
Stephan "Badge of Honor" Bonnar
Dong Hyun "Trim and Prim" Kim
Jon "Nobody’s Bitch" Fitch
Akihiro "Oh No" Gono
John "Powered" Howard
Dan "The Shamer" Cramer

Outstanding. If your name has been called, please e-mail us at feedback@cagepotato.com with your real name, address, and shirt-size.

***

UNRELATED REMINDER: Fowlkes will be liveblogging UFC 94 tomorrow night from the MGM Grand Garden Arena, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Do not, under any circumstances, miss it.

Dana White’s UFC 88 Video Blog, part 1 – Watch more free videos

Well, it’s back. You knew it would be. Fresh off the relative success of his first video blog series (why isn’t the term ‘vlog’ catching on?) at UFC 87, Dana White is once more giving us glimpses of his world as we head into UFC 88. The latest edition is all about the celebrities. Oh, and David Spade is there too. Zing!

But seriously, Spade earns some points here for referring to Chuck Liddell as a little bit of a “Boozy Suzy,” which is the kind of thing you can do when you’re David Spade and nobody can beat you up without looking like a big meanie.

Where things take an interesting turn is when Mandy Moore shows up. She and Dana look giddy as Alaskan teenagers together, thus lending more credibility to rumors that Moore comes to the shows not for GSP, but for White (shhhh! let’s keep that between us). She has a little trouble coming up with predictions, even when White encourages her to talk about it like it’s just the two of them…at breakfast. Honestly, he could have said any other meal there. He chose the one that is normally shared by people who wake up together. Draw your own conclusions.

(Props: Steve Cofield, at Yahoo! Sports)

10. ROB EMERSON

Offenses: Was arrested in 2000 for his membership in the Lords of South County, a gang of Orange County rich kids who liked to assault innocent people for fun. Arrested again in 2006 after a dustup at a bar, and pled guilty to two counts of battery. His middling fight record doesn’t justify his UFC contract.
Notable quote: “I got bent over and took it up the ass on a lot of bullshit judges’ decisions. But fuck ‘em, their faces were fucked up worse than mine. That’s all I care about!”

9. BILL GOLDBERG

Offenses: His inexcusably awful work for EliteXC has brought MMA commentary to new, previously unimagined depths. Was reportedly abusive and obnoxious on the set of The Longest Yard.
Notable quote: “Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t give a damn about traditional mixed martial arts.”

8. BOB MEYROWITZ

Offenses: Ran the UFC into the mud marketing it as the most outrageous bloodsport on Earth. Currently working to eliminate ground-fighting with the YAMMA pit. Has a history of losing investors’ money (see eyada.com).
Notable quote: “On the streets it’s against the law — in the pit it is the law.” (YAMMA tagline)

7. GILBERT YVEL

Offenses: One of the dirtiest fighters in MMA history. DQ’d once for eye gouging, once for biting, and once for knocking out a referee; laughed when he was arrested after the incident.
Notable quote: “The referee…not a good thing, but memorable.”

11. Rashad Evans vs. Sean Salmon (UFC Fight Night 8, 1/25/2007)

10. Chris “Red Bull” Willems vs. Akoni Nakila (ROTR: Beatdown IV, 7/14/07)

9. Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic vs. Aleksander Emelianenko (PRIDE: Final Conflict 2004, 8/15/2004)

Our favorite author makes an appearance in the upcoming Owen Wilson flick, Drillbit Taylor. Blink and you’ll miss it. Seriously…

Wonder how many takes it took to get a coherent performance from Chuck?

This joy ride happened when Joe was in Columbus, Ohio for UFC 82. An Affliction t-shirt-wearing douche decided to heckle Rogan during his set. We’ve learned you don’t fuck with Joe in an MMA bout. And we also know you don’t fuck with Joe in a “To Catch A Predator”-style bust. This guy wasn’t aware.

Our 16 favorite noms de guerre, and our favorite photos found through Google-image-searching those words/phrases. High concept, we know, but stay with us and click on the links.

16. Jeremy “Gumby” Horn

15. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua

14. Bret “The Angry Hick” Bergmark

13. Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos

12. Rameau Thierry “The African Assassin” Sokoudjou

11. Don “The Predator” Frye

A future mixed martial arts champion was derailed recently by an angry accountant that went loco when said future champ was beating his future accountant kid in a 15-16 age division karate match. One must be impressed by the crazy dad’s technique – he didn’t even scuff his penny loafers.

This coming on the heels of an 11-year-old wrestling phenom who was gunning for a career in MMA, but had second thoughts when he realized large, hairy dudes who tuck their T-shirts into their jeans were allowed to enter the fighting area and toss him around.

Though it’s not official, offers have been made to the douche dads for a headlining match at UFC 90: Worst Dad Ever.

Things that are not necessary:

“American Idol”, Twinkies, Crocs, your appendix, blonde jokes, actor person Ryan Reynolds, and Frank Shamrock‘s below video.

(Head-butts to BloodyElbow for the spot.)

Strikeforce lightweight champ Gilbert Melendez…

…American Idol runner-up Justin Guarini…

…and Sideshow Bob.

9. Don Frye

Full pints of 40-year-old ball-sweat have passed through the Predator’s Old Glory nut-huggers. Just seems a little disrespectful, that’s all.

8. Ken Shamrock

Watching Ken sport these old-schoolers transports us to the time we spotted the 80-year-old next door during one of her “spells.” Those are some granny panties we’ll never get out of our mind.

7. Rich Franklin

Half badass, half…pink? He earned the right to get his ass handed to him by Anderson Silva. But he was a hit at the post-fight pride parade.

Even at an early age, Tank Abbott understood the importance of training. The hard work will be on display tomorrow night.

10. Trainer John Hackleman

Hack kind of looks like something Jim Henson might have sewn together while drunk and depressed.

9. Matt Lindland

A five-head that could cut glass…

8. Ben Rothwell

Don’t worry, Susie…those things will develop in a few years.

10. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson

Quote: “When I be losing I be gettin’ my ass whupped. But when I be winnin’ I be doing the ass whuppin’!”
Admittedly, Rampage has had enough funny/dumb quotes to fill a book and over 2/3rd of them contain some version of “ass whuppin’”. We’ll let this well-said overly obvious statement represent the many that he has given us — and the hundreds more that are sure to come.

9. BJ Penn

Quote: “My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs.”
We like BJ – and he’s a fan favorite – but, Prodigy, a little extra effort would be appreciated when you’re fielding questions about your diet. Everyone knows what Atkins is, so if you add the carbs…well, then it’s not Atkins at all is it?

Just two dudes out on the town.

Brother’s don’t shake hands, brothers gotta’ hug!

I wish I knew how to quit you!

You may have been following the Trekkie-style dork – with socks even Tinker Bell wouldn’t wear – in nine documentary episodes where he trains for four weeks alongside MMA fighter Matt Ruskin. Thomas “Baby Balls” Morton (the aforementioned dork) won’t win any broadcasting awards and would likely get his ass kicked at a 4th grade slumber party, but if you’re running low on your MMA juice this weekend, check out “Balls Deep”. Yes, that is the title of the show – which I’m sure has lured in thousands of unassuming truck drivers surfing the net on the truck stop’s courtesy computer. The ninth and final episode went on-line recently. Nothing mind-blowing or earth-shattering here, but by episode seven, I was having a good laugh. Morton looks fucking wrecked as he still works out MMA-style every day while starving himself. The ninth episode is Ruskin’s fight in Hot-lanta. Episode one is below. Enjoy.