(We’d start getting *real* used to that desk if we were you, Chael.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

It’s finally happening, Potato Nation. Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen a.k.a “the fight fans have been asking for” is set to go down this Saturday from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. Although many fans have focused on the chemistry (or lack thereof) between Chael and Jon as reason enough to pass on this pay-per-view event, UFC 159 will be offering a solid card of competitive fights which on paper may make it a sleeper that you won’t want to miss.

So join us as we continue to contribute to the Save Danga’s Legs Fund (he’s almost better, but he likes the nurse visits) by highlighting where to place your money on a few undercard and all of the main card bouts. All betting lines courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Steven Siler (-120) vs. Kurt Holobaugh (+100)

Steven Siler comes in at around -130 for his fifth UFC appearance and will improve his Octagon record to 4-1 should he emerge victorious against the debuting Strikeforce veteran in Holobaugh. In his last outing, Siler was tarred and feathered by Darren Elkins‘ wrestling and was unable to take control of the fight for any sustained period of time. As an underdog who has only tasted defeat once in his career (a decision loss to Pat Healy), Holobaugh at even money or better is a solid choice. Kurt fights like a veteran and showed he can hang with some of the best in the world while dominating anything less than that caliber. Coming out of the Gracie Barra gym, Holobaugh will be too tough for Siler to submit and will put Super’s stand up game to the test with his own excellent striking. Holobaugh for the slight upset win.

On paper, this Saturday’s TUF 17 Finale card is dominated by wide mismatches. But which fights will actually be blowouts, and which ones will end in profitable upsets? Check out the betting lines below (via bestfightodds.com) and let’s see if we can win some cash off this thing.

MAIN CARD (FX, 9 p.m. ET)
Urijah Faber (-435) vs. Scott Jorgensen (+375)
Uriah Hall (-309) vs. Kelvin Gastelum (+325)
Cat Zingano (-115) vs. Miesha Tate (+106)
Travis Browne (-250) vs. Gabriel Gonzaga (+240)
Robert McDaniel (-166) vs. Gilbert Smith (+155)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FUEL TV, 7 p.m. ET)
Josh Samman (-445) vs. Kevin Casey (+370)
Luke Barnatt (-124) vs. Collin Hart (+115)
Jimmy Quinlan (+100) vs. Dylan Andrews (+105)
Clint Hester (-160) vs. Bristol Marunde (+150)

PRELIMINARY CARD (Facebook, 5:30 p.m. ET)
Bart Palaszewski (-160) vs. Cole Miller (+155)
Daniel Pineda (-120) vs. Justin Lawrence (+109)
Maximo Blanco (-200) vs. Sam Sicilia (+195)

If you’re confused about what the numbers mean, read this. Otherwise, let’s proceed…

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

Thus far, 2013 has been kind to Zuffa, with PPV’s and TV broadcasts delivering, whether or not this will be the case after this Saturday night is yet to be determined. Will Dana pull Nick from the main event…again? Will GSP unleash the dark side of his personality on Diaz as promised if the Stocktonian does manage to make it to the ring? Or are these fights all fixed and full of cheaters just trying to help out the economy like Don Frye would have us believe?

Buckle up as we head to the great white north and highlight some of the undercard bouts as well as all the main card bouts for UFC 158 in the hopes of cashing in big and possibly helping contribute to the “Save Danga’s Legs” fund.

Undercard bouts (all betting lines courtesy of BestFightOdds):

Reuben Duran (-140) vs. George Roop (+120)

Roop is a slight underdog against Duran, who is looking to bring his UFC record to .500 in this fight. The 6’1″ Roop is making his bantamweight debut and I think his considerable size advantage in this fight may be worth the bet. Duran has proven he can be out grappled (vs. Mizugaki at UFC Live 3 ) and KO’d (vs. Viana at the TUF 16 Finale) by opponents of lower caliber than Roop, so the TUF 8 alum should be able to use his considerable reach advantage to keep Duran on his feet and possibly finish the BJJ specialist. A quick look at Roop’s record shows losses to current and former top contenders, whereas Duran has simply not fought the same level of competition. This fight may be too steep a step up for him right now.

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

For the first time in UFC history, a card will not only feature but be headlined by a women’s title fight in the bantamweight division. We know what you’re thinking, “How are they going to fit an entire kitchen into the octagon?” but hear us out for a second. Pitting Olympic bronze medalist Ronda Rousey against Marine tuff Liz Carmouche, UFC 157 will look to break down the wall that has existed between men’s and women’s MMA for almost two years now. We kid, we kid, but will the UFC’s women’s division steal the show come Saturday night? And technically speaking, can you steal a show when you are the main event? These questions and others will be answered this Saturday night in Anaheim at the (R)Honda Center.

And with any big MMA event comes the opportunity to chip away at (or add to) those crippling debts we all are surely facing. So join us after the jump as we highlight some of the undercard and all the main card bouts for UFC 157 with the hopes of cashing in on some attractive betting lines, which come courtesy of BestFighOdds as always.

Preliminary card:

Michael Chiesa (-200) vs. Anton Kuivanen (+170)

Currently, Chiesa is right around -225, but look for that line to close around -300 by fight night. Anton has been more of a threat on the mat than on his feet thus far in his UFC run, but giving up almost half a foot in height to the Alpha Male-affiliated Chiesa will do him no favors in either department. Chiesa should be able to control this fight with his size advantage and continue his Cinderella story in the UFC.

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

The first pay-per-view event of 2013 is set to kick off this weekend from the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas, Nevada, and with it comes a lot of questions about the fighters involved. Can Frankie Edgar show Rashad Evans that dropping down a weight class to fight for a title is a wise decision? Will Alistair Overeem manage to stake his claim for #1 contendership without screwing everything up again? Will Dana White finally get the revenge he’s always wanted by strangling Steve Mazzagatti to death after he blows a call during the main event?

All these questions and more will be answered in just two short days, so follow us after the jump as we highlight one bout from the undercard and all the main card bouts in order to ensure that you start off the new year with a little extra cash in your pocket. All betting lines come courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Preliminary Card: 

Jacob Volkmann (-380) vs. Bobby Green (+315)

Volkmann is about as predictable as fighters come: a wrestler with limited striking who has no qualms about grinding out a 3 round decision. At 155lbs, all of Volkmann’s fights have ended up on the ground, so this may boil down to whether or not Green will be able to submit Volkmann off his back like Paul Sass was able to do at UFC 146. At -380, I am willing to bet that Volkmann is able to avoid getting caught by Green’s submissions and score a decision win.

Main Card: 

Joseph Benavidez (-245) vs. Ian McCall (+205)

A Team Alpha Male fighter in a non title fight is generally a safe bet, but Benavidez sitting at -250 is a little too rich for my tastes, however. Ian McCall is as durable as they come and even though he has had a rough go in life (especially of late), he has the speed and craftiness to give Joseph all he can handle. The prop bet that this fight goes the distance is the safest bet here.

(If you ever needed a sign that Photoshop is out of control in this country, look no further than the Koopa Troopas facing off in this photo.) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

This Saturday night, Zuffa will close out 2012 with a rematch between former UFC champion Cain Velasquez and current heavyweight champion Junior Dos Santos. It has since been revealed that both fighters were injured heading into their original matchup (cue the guy who says “all fighters fight with injuries”), so there are a lot of extraneous factors heading into the rematch that you should seriously consider before placing your bets.

With a 3-4 record over the past 7 UFC shows, the GAE has slipped into the red for the first time since UFC 148 (thanks in no small part to that God damned injury curse) and we need a boost to avoid dining on Newfoundland steak and mashed potatoes in 2013. UFC on Fox 5 was a particularly cruel mistress, and like a Diaz brother taking a realtor’s exam, the result was a miserable failure. So follow us after the jump as we keep it short and sweet in the hopes of turning a profit for UFC 155: Dos Santos vs. Velasquez 2.

Preliminary card:

Max Holloway (-380) vs. Leonard Garcia (+290)

Leonard Garcia will be looking to avoid his fourth consecutive loss against a young up-and-comer out of Hawaii in Max Holloway. Holloway will enjoy a 12yr advantage in the father time category and I believe Garcia gives him the stand up fight he wants on Saturday night. Holloway will be too fast and this may very well look like a Cerrone/Garcia barnyard sparring session, with Holloway playing the role of “The Cowboy.” Max makes the parlay list and wins in an exciting affair as “Bad Boy” tries to find the mark with those crazy hands of his while Holloway picks him apart from the outside.

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

This may be the 5^th installment of the UFC on FOX, but somehow it feels like the very first time the UFC will be showcased for the mass cable viewing audience. With a card that far and away surpasses any previous cable-accessible card in the sport’s history, FOX has dubbed this week “Fight Week” and rightfully so. Both parties seem to be maximizing their potential for UFC on FOX 5, but we’ll have to wait until Saturday to determine whether or not the key to success on network television is having both title fights with a solid supporting card and the steady promotion FOX has offered for this event in the days leading up to it.

With a 3-3 record over the past 6 UFC PPV’s, it’s time for The Gambling Addiction Enabler to sink or swim (or specifically, find ourselves at the bottom of the ocean with a fancy matching pair of cinder blocks for shoes). So Join us as we highlight some of the undercard and all the main card bouts in the hopes of bringing you Taters some early holiday funds. All the betting lines come courtesy of BestFightOdds, per usual.

By Jared Jones

I appreciate honesty in writing. I am also a tremendous hypocrite, which is why I often resort to trickery, tomfoolery, and outright fabrications when discussing this thing we call MMA with you Taters. I’m less a blogger, more a magician — a line that I would never suggest you use to pick up women with — and more often than not I resort to a near constant influx of red herrings and other intentional misdirects to even make it through a post. But amidst all the deceit and double-crosses, I do actually manage to squeeze in a few instances of genuine honesty with you readers, more often than not in the Gambling Addiction Enabler pieces I contribute when Dan “Get Off Me” George doesn’t feel up to it.

So when I turned to the introductory page of Jason Rothman’s Betting on MMA to find the statements located directly below, I was pretty much assured that I’d be getting exactly what I wanted out of his look into the world of MMA gambling.

This book is about making money from betting on the sport of mixed martial arts. And that is the only thing this book is about.

If you do not know what a triangle choke is, then this book is not for you. 

And indeed, Rothman’s guide analyzing everything from money line odds to fighter attributes to the power of hype makes no attempt to wow you with its prose. The writing style, though sometimes cryptic and a bit repetitive, is simply a means to an end. That end is making you money, and although I have yet to put any of Rothman’s teachings into practice, I can assure you that Betting on MMA offers enough genuine insight and real-life examples to make it a must own for any MMA fan who fancies themselves a gambler.

(So there we were, about to face off at the UFC 154 press conference when Georges finally decided to POP THE QUESTION!! ERMAGERD!!)

A fortune cookie wise man once told me that the frustrating thing about questions is that they do not always have answers. This Saturday night, Zuffa’s globetrotting MMA organization returns to the province of Quebec — the birthplace of the UFC in Canada — to answer the burning question: Who is the undisputed king of the 170 lbs division? GSP may be the PPV king of the UFC, but during his 20 month layoff due to reconstructive knee surgery, Carlos Condit has quietly and somewhat controversially asserted himself as the welterweight division’s top dog.

With a current record of 3-2 over the past 5 UFC PPV’s, the GAE’s back is against the wall and in need of another profitable evening if it is to be still considered as the champion of the odds breakers, bloggers and “professional gamblers” of the mixed martial arts world (which it totally is). So follow us after the jump as we highlight select bouts from the undercard and all contests on the main card in an attempt to save those who laid 1600 bucks on a Franklin to beat Le ticket from the man in the black trench coat. All odds courtesy of BestFightOdds.com.

(Well, at least the poster is as half-assed as the main event.) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

I’ll be honest, when I first heard of the new main event for UFC 153, I thought we were all the victims of some intricate ruse on the UFC’s part. Surely the head honchos at Zuffa didn’t consider a “fun” squash match on the level of Joe Lauzon vs Jens Pulver to be the best possible option for a country that was recently denied the biggest fight of all time, right? But I guess when an injury curse on the level of 2012′s hits, you do what you can to simply stay afloat, and in that sense the UFC has succeeded.

Luckily for us, the UFC has also succeeded in putting together a card that provides plenty of opportunities to prosper from a wagering perspective as well. This time around, I will attempt to follow the lead of Jared “Money Bags” Jones, who provided both the gift and the curse for UFC on FX 5: Browne vs. Silva with his parlay picks, so follow me as I highlight a few names on the preliminary cards for Facebook and FX and breakdowns of all fights on the PPV portion of UFC 153. All betting odds come courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Facebook + FX prelims

Reza Madadi stands out in the two FB fights; Sweden has been hot in the octagon lately and I think “Mad Dog” (not Anthony Macias) at around -200 has the right combination of size and all around ground advantage to deal with Marcello’s submissions game and win his second straight UFC fight.

Gleison Tibau hovering around -160 should be able to stifle fellow Brazilian Francisco Drinaldo and find a way back into the UFC win column after dropping a hard fought loss to Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 148. Tibau has fought solid competition throughout his lengthy UFC career and I do not think Francisco has the right tools to win this fight. An underdog that may be worth a look is Renee Forte at around +200 against Sergio Moraes, who dropped a unanimous decision last time out due in part to his in-ring demeanor, which did not seem to go over well with the judges.

(Oh, jeez. Has Michael seen this poster yet? He is gonna be piiiisssed.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

You know that saying “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Well, such is the case with UFC 151’s trash (which coincidentally resembles the remnants of a totaled Bentley) and UFC 152’s treasure. And those of us who were smart enough to recognize a curse when we saw one and purchase our tickets accordingly will reap the rewards of the 151 fallout by being treated to two title fights on the very same card. Suck it, over-saturation!

This Saturday night, the GAE will attempt to go where no other MMA blog/website/”professional MMA gambler”(my favorite) has gone before, a perfect 4-0 generating plus money dating back to UFC 148. So follow us after the jump as we try to navigate through the good, the bad, and the ugly betting lines of UFC 152: Jones vs Belfort (courtesy of BestFightOdds).

Charlie Brenneman (-225) vs. Kyle Noke (+185)

I feel that the Spaniard will be able to get this fight to the mat and establish himself as the dominant fighter. Hovering around -225, the line is appealing when you examine how Kyle Noke has lost his last two UFC bouts coupled with how Charlie has found victory throughout his UFC career (Ed note: Except here). This fight falls into the good category for betting lines and Brenneman will find his way into my parlay as the well priced favorite here.

(What part of Arizona are you from, Ben? Right near the beach…BOI!)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

Fresh off a stellar UFC on FOX last week, the UFC will be looking to build on some much needed momentum heading into this weekend’s UFC 150 card, where Ben Henderson will look to defend his lightweight strap against the man he took it from, Frankie Edgar. Will Colorado’s ridiculously high altitude continue to plague fighter’s cardio as it did at UFC 135 and Fight Night: Florian vs. Lauzon? Possibly, but it’s going to take more than a shortness of breath to stop the Gambling Enabler from paying out, as we’ve landed in the money on our past two events. So join us for a fight-by-fight dissection of UFC 150 and an inside look at how to come away with a significantly fatter wallet. All odds, per usual, are courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Ken Stone (+100) vs Eric Perez (-120)

Perez is a submissions specialist as is 1-0 in the UFC with a submission via armbar. Ken “Keith” Stone has more UFC experience and has lost two tough bouts to Eddie Wineland and Scott Jorgensen but has since won two straight fights. He has yet to be submitted in his MMA career, so I believe Stone will have enough to fend off Perez’s submissions game and win this fight on the cards.

(We’re going ((win)) streaking!!) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

Grab your cowboy hats and pack up your saddles my fellow CP readers, because this weekend we are headed to the home of the world famous Calgary Stampede, Calgary, Alberta, Canada for UFC 149 Barao vs Faber! From a wagering standpoint, this card is pretty much a prime example of why bookies offer MMA betting lines, as this card is chock full of close fights and odds that will surely entice the gambling public as well as crush the majority of parlays, all the while raking in money for the house.

Luckily for you (or not), we do not have to go on the cuff for this card, as those who followed UFC 148’s GAE were rewarded with a 4 team parlay that paid out 7 to 1 at the window. All betting odds are courtesy of BestFightOdds.com, so join me as I try to offer some insight on how to go after plus units on Saturday’s upcoming card.

Bryan Caraway (-190) vs. Mitch Gagnon (+175)

Both fighters have strong submission skills, but I believe Caraway is the favorite because the majority of the public believe “Kid Lighting” is the better submission fighter out of the two. At around -200, Caraway should have what it takes to out-grapple his Canadian counterpart and find a way to win this fight. This may be stretching my psychic abilities to the max, but upon victory, I expect Caraway to announce that he is undergoing a sex change, signing with Strikeforce, and challenging Ronda Rousey to a “loser leaves town” match at 135 lbs. Any takers?

(This time around, the UFC’s marketing department is looking to drive home the notion that sex sells once and for all.) 

By Dan “Get off Me” George

In the immortal words of Bruce Buffer, “It’s Time!”

On the eve of perhaps the most anticipated UFC rematch in history, I hope to bring my fellow CP readers some insight on how to save your kneecaps from the bookies and perhaps even make a buck or two by trying to follow my logic with regards to potential winners and losers for UFC 148.

For the sake of brevity, I’d like to focus on the dogs. The real money is made betting on the underdogs, and besides, there is nothing more exciting than watching a guy like Alan Belcher twist and turn his way out of certain demise en route to cashing out at three times the amount you originally placed on him (Ed note: Way to rub it in, Dan).

All of our betting odds for this week’s enabler come courtesy of BestFightOdds, so let’s get it on!

Undercard:

Shane Roller (-195) vs. John Alessio (+180)

I like Roller here, the price is fair and I do not see Alessio being able to do much but play defense in this fight. Look for Roller to pull out a decision while Alessio finds himself on the bottom or defending takedowns for the majority of the contest, not unlike his most recent decision loss to Mark Bocek at UFC 145. Simple.

Constantinos Philippou (-175) vs. Riki Fukuda (+165)

This line has moved in favor of Fukuda slightly over the past 24hrs, showing that the public likes Fukuda more and more as the small underdog. I like Philippou if for nothing more than his performance against Court McGee, a fighter similar to Fukuda who likes to move forward and press the action. Philippou has ever-improving takedown defense and better striking than Fukuda, specifically with his hands, and I like him to stop Fukuda’s takedowns and make him pay with his fists.

Unfortunately, last Tuesday’s UFC on FUEL: Zombie vs. Poirier card all but completely derailed our recent run of luck with the Gambling Enabler (aside from the decision to purchase some Bud Light Platinums to celebrate another beautiful McKenzietine bet), but hopefully this weekend’s UFC 146 event, which features an all heavyweight main card for the first time in UFC history will help get things back on track. So without further adieu, may we present to you the tasty betting lines, brought to you courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our brilliant/equally insane advice below.

Main Card
Frank Mir (+425) vs. Junior dos Santos (-550)
Cain Velasquez (-400) vs. Antonio Silva (+325)
Roy Nelson (-225) vs. Dave Herman (+185)
Shane del Rosario (+135) vs. Stipe Miocic (-155)
Lavar Johnson (+105) vs. Stefan Struve (-125)

Preliminary Card (FX)
Diego Brandao (-265) vs. Darren Elkins (+205)
Edson Barboza (-550) vs. Jamie Varner (+425)
Jason Miller (-145) vs. C.B. Dollaway (+115)
Dan Hardy (-130) vs. Duane Ludwig (+100)

Preliminary Card (Facebook)
Paul Sass (+170) vs. Jacob Volkmann (-215)
Glover Teixeira (-240) vs. Kyle Kingsbury (+180)
Mike Brown (-160) vs. Daniel Pineda (+130)

Thoughts…

(Don’t worry, we put more effort into this piece than the UFC marketing department did into that poster.) 

Rumor has it that on Saturday night, two certain somebodies may or may not partake in a certain fight that you may or may not be able to place a certain wager on, which may or may not be dependent on whether you think or don’t think you know a certain outcome of the fight itself, capiche? In either case, we are going to offer some advice that may or may not help you arrive at that determination. Check out what could hypothetically be the betting lines for UFC 145, courtesy of BestFightOdds, below, and follow us after the jump for what may or may not be our advice on where to place a certain bet that may or may not exist.

MAIN CARD
Jon Jones (-485) vs. Rashad Evans (+385)
Rory MacDonald (-600) vs. Che Mills (+450)
Ben Rothwell (+240) vs. Brendan Schaub (-280)
Mark Hominick (-600) vs. Eddie Yagin (+450)
Mark Bocek (-400) vs. John Alessio (+325)
Michael McDonald (even) vs. Miguel Torres (-120)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Travis Browne (-260) vs. Chad Griggs (+220)
Matt Brown (+250) vs. Stephen Thompson (-300)
John Makdessi (+175) vs. Anthony Njokuani (-210)
Mac Danzig (-210) vs. Efrain Escudero (+175)
Chris Clements (-200) vs. Keith Wisniewski (+170)
Maximo Blanco (-265) vs. Marcus Brimage (+225)

Thoughts…

After what has been a long six weeks, a UFC event is finally on the horizon, Potato Nation. And thank Allah, because we were starting to get desperate. Like a Jencum addict without a balloon desperate. In either case, tomorrow night’s UFC on FUEL event provides the perfect opportunity for us to regret ever becoming gambling addicts in the first place, so let’s skip the bullshit and get right to it. Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, and join us after the jump for our advice on where to place your hard-earned cash. .

Main Card
Alexander Gustafsson (-220) vs. Thiago Silva (+180)
Brian Stann (-400) vs. Alessio Sakara (+325)
Paulo Thiago (-145) vs. Siyar Bahadurzada (+125)
Dennis Siver (+150) vs. Diego Nunes (-170)
DaMarques Johnson (+140) vs. John Maguire (-160)
Brad Pickett (-230) vs. Damacio Page (+190)

Preliminary Card (Facebook)
James Head (+200) vs. Papy Abedi (-240)
Tom DeBlass (-200) vs. Cyrille Diabate (+170)
Magnus Cedenblad (+225) vs. Francis Carmont (-265)
Yoislandy Izquierdo (+190) vs. Reza Madadi (-230)
Besam Yousef (+250) vs. Simeon Thoresen (-300)
Jason Young (-185) vs. Eric Wisely (+160)

Here we go…

(In the main event, actor Ryan Reynolds defends his belt against a 100% Asian version of Ben Henderson. Plus, Rampage Jackson faces off against a prime Wes Sims. The referee for this evening will be Dan Miragliotta.)

The UFC’s return to Japan this weekend features plenty of attractive opportunities to earn money without working for it. So where do the edges lie? How much better will the UFC’s Japanese stars look on their home turf? And should you really be betting money with tax season coming up? (Just kidding, that one was a trick question.) Complete UFC 144: Edgar vs. Henderson odds are below, via BestFightOdds, followed by our occasionally-helpful betting advice. Check it out, and be sure to come back to CagePotato Saturday night for our liveblog of the fights, starting with the FX prelims broadcast at 8 p.m. ET.

MAIN CARD
Frankie Edgar (-125) vs. Ben Henderson (+115)
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson (-237) vs. Ryan Bader (+220)
Cheick Kongo (-270) vs. Mark Hunt (+270)
Jake Shields (-300) vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama (+269)
Yushin Okami (-331) vs. Tim Boetsch (+300)
Hatsu Hioki (-167) vs. Bart Palaszewski (+155)
Anthony Pettis (-220) vs. Joe Lauzon (+220)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FX)
Takanori Gomi (-200) vs. Eiji Mitsuoka (+175)
Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto (-288) vs. Vaughan Lee (+275)
Riki Fukuda (-300) vs. Steve Cantwell (+258)
Takeya Mizugaki (-200) vs. Chris Cariaso (+172)

PRELIMINARY BOUT (Facebook)
Tiequan Zhang (-250) vs. Issei Tamura (+250)

(Two words: Cultivating mass.)

Oh my God, you guys. We are just two days away from a match so epic that it threatens to implode our entire universe and send it spiraling down a black hole quicker than a Duane Ludwig knockout. And since most of us are still trying to financially recover from Christmas (only to spend nearly as much on New Year’s Eve, ironically), why not place some bets with us and end this sumbitch on a bang instead of a whimper? Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our Negrodamus-esque advice below.

Main Card
Brock Lesnar (+110) vs. Alistair Overeem (-130)
Nate Diaz (+240) vs. Donald Cerrone (-280)
Jon Fitch (-230) vs. Johny Hendricks (+190)
Vladimir Matyushenko (+285) vs. Alexander Gustafsson (-345)
Nam Phan (-230) vs. Jimy Hettes (+190)

Preliminary card (televised on Spike)
Ross Pearson (-300) vs. Junior Assunçao (+250)
Anthony Njokuani (+155) vs. Danny Castillo (-175)

Preliminary card (Facebook)
Dong Hyun Kim (-360) vs. Sean Pierson (+300)
Jacob Volkmann (-260) vs. Efrain Escudero (+220)
Matt Riddle (-115) vs. Luis Ramos (-105)
Manvel Gamburyan (+200) vs. Diego Nunes (-240)

Thoughts…

(“Dun, dun, dun, dun, da-dun, dun, da-dun. Dah, dah, dah, dun, da-dun, dun, da-dun…“)

Props to MMAMania for directing us to the current betting lines for this Saturday‘s Strikeforce women’s featherweight title fight between Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos and mysterious ex-dominatrix Hiroko Yamanaka. As of now, the champ is a -900 favorite, meaning that you’d have to bet $900 to collect a $100 profit if she wins. Yamanaka is a +550 underdog, meaning that a $100 bet would return a $550 profit if hell freezes over the challenger takes the belt.

Here’s why you might bet money on Yamanaka to score an upset: Cyborg hasn’t competed since June 2010; Yamanaka has gone 3-0 since then, with all wins by stoppage. Yamanaka might be able to keep Cyborg at bay with her height and range. Crazy shit happens in this sport all the time.

Here’s why you shouldn’t actually consider doing this: Literally every other reason you could possibly think of, including Cyborg’s unparalleled aggression, her history of consuming Japanese opponents, her home field advantage in the U.S., and most importantly, that it sucks to lose even small amounts of money in this economy.

If you have to bet on something this weekend, fill out this helpful questionnaire, then continue reading for a few wagering suggestions that are almost as risky, but not completely insane.

Last week, we let none other than The Great Potato step in and give you guys some gambling advice for the TUF 14 Finale. He went spuds out, gambling his son Tater’s future college fund on a parlay that included Jason Miller and T.J. Dillashaw. He has since gone into hiding and refused to answer any of our calls. Now that UFC 140 is on the horizon, we bring you some saweet betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our advice, in order to ensure his children receive the education they deserve.

Main Card
Jon Jones (-440) vs. Lyoto Machida (+350)
Frank Mir (-250) vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria (+210)
Antonio Rogerio Nogueria (-225) vs. Tito Ortiz (+175)
Brian Ebersole (-125) vs. Claude Patrick (-105)
Mark Hominick (-380) vs. Chan Sung Jung (+290)

The Main Event: The fact that Lyoto Machida is listed with a slightly better chance to beat Jones than Rampage Jackson, a.k.a the last person to beat Machida, is intriguing to say the least. We all know Lyoto has stepped up his training camp for this bout, and packed on an incredible 21 pounds of muscle to try and deal with the size and strength of Jones, but will this weight gain hinder the Dragon’s renowned elusiveness? And despite Jones’ near immortal stature among the UFC’s light heavyweight division, there is still one huge facet of his game that has yet to be tested, his chin.

It’s been a long road, ladies and gentlemen, but it seems the time of network television MMA not involving Kimbo Slice and a screaming Gus Johnson is finally upon us. UFC on Fox kicks off at 9 o’clock tomorrow night, and for those of you who are looking to get some last minute gambling in, well, allow us to help you scratch that itch. Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our Morgan Freeman-eqsue advice on what to do below.

Main Card/Event:
Cain Velasquez (-175) vs. Junior Dos Santos (+155)

Preliminary Card
Benson Henderson (-260) vs. Clay Guida (+220)
Dustin Poirier (-300) vs. Pablo Garza (+250)
Aaron Rosa (-140) vs. Matt Lucas (+120)
Mike Pierce (-340) vs. Paul Bradley (+280)
Mackens Sermizer (-115) vs. Robert Peralta (-105)
DaMarques Johnson (-270) vs. Clay Harvison (+230)
Norifumi Yamamoto (-360) vs. Darren Uyenoyama (+300)
Ricardo Lamas (-145) vs. Cub Swanson (+125)
Cole Escovedo (-260) vs. Alex Caceres (+220)

Before we’ve even had time to clear out the cobwebs from UFC 137, this Saturday already promises to bring us more bone crushing action with UFC 138, featuring a showdown between middleweight sluggers Chris Leben and Mark Munoz. And since we will be treated to a free card this weekend, why not turn that extra cash…into more extra cash? Check out the betting lines below, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our advice, which should have already netted you some extra dough this month.

 
(Not yet………………………………..getting warmer…….)

UFC 137 is just around the bend, and since the lineup has made more changes than a MTV awards show host, we figured we’d lay out the current odds before something else horrible happens. So, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com, check out the sweetest lines available, along with our time tested advice below.

PPV Main Card
B.J. Penn (-115) vs. Nick Diaz (-105)
Matt Mitrione (-135) vs. Cheick Kongo (+115)
Roy Nelson (-290) vs. Mirko Filipovic (+245)
Hatsu Hioki (-330) vs. George Roop (+270)
There is no line yet available for the recently bumped up Tavares/Jacoby fight.

Spike TV Prelims
Donald Cerrone (-225) vs. Dennis Siver (+185)
Tyson Griffin (-290) vs. Bart Palaszewski (+245)

The undercard odds have yet to be released as well, but we only bet big here, so forgeddaboutit!

The Main Event:

(Stock-trader vs. Wall Street protester — who ya got? Photo via MMA Mania)

Want to make some real money this weekend? Then come over to my place on Saturday afternoon and be prepared to clean some toilets. Want to make some hypothetical, for-entertainment-purposes-only money this weekend? Then check out the latest UFC 136 betting lines (via BestFightOdds) and read our gambling advice after the jump.

PPV Main Card
Frankie Edgar (-125) vs. Gray Maynard (+120)
Jose Aldo (-320) vs. Kenny Florian (+301)
Chael Sonnen (-255) vs. Brian Stann (+227)
Nam Phan (-210) vs. Leonard Garcia (+208)
Melvin Guillard (-312) vs. Joe Lauzon (+310)

Spike TV Prelims
Demian Maia (-275) vs. Jorge Santiago (+245)
Anthony Pettis (-277) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+250)

Facebook Prelims
Joey Beltran (+190) vs. Stipe Miocic (-210)
Tiequan Zhang (-120) vs. Darren Elkins (+115)
Aaron Simpson (-313) vs. Eric Schafer (+300)
Steve Cantwell (-135) vs. Mike Massenzio (+130)

We’ll begin…at the beginning:

(The Royce Gracie of our generation poses with the Anderson Silva of his generation. Props: facebook.com/ufc)

On August 27th, Rio de Janeiro will be Blowout City. Aside from two matches on the preliminary card — Loveland vs. Jabouin and Assuncao vs. Eduardo — every fight at UFC 134: Silva vs. Okami features a fighter who’s a 2-1 favorite or higher. In times like these, it’s not about picking the winners, it’s about picking the upsets. So where they at? Check out the UFC 134 gambling lines below (via BestFightOdds), and consider our advice after the jump.

Main Card (PPV, 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT)
Anderson Silva (-471) vs. Yushin Okami (+425)
Maurício Rua (-220) vs. Forrest Griffin (+225)
Brendan Schaub (-230) vs. Antônio Rodrigo Nogueira (+216)
Edson Barboza (-300) vs. Ross Pearson (+280)
Luis Cane (-200) vs. Stanislav Nedkov (+195)

Spike TV Prelims Live (8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT)
Thiago Tavares (-205) vs. Spencer Fisher (+200)
Rousimar Palhares (-275) vs. Dan Miller (+252)

Facebook Prelims (6 p.m. ET / 3 p.m. PT)
Paulo Thiago (-389) vs. David Mitchell (+340)
Raphael Assunção (-160) vs. Johnny Eduardo (+149)
Erick Silva (-270) vs. Luis Ramos (+246)
Yuri Alcantara (-437) vs. Felipe Arantes (+379)
Ian Loveland (-195) vs. Yves Jabouin (+180)

(“Overeem is my son. Scott Coker is my uncle. Gina Carano is my hot cousin. Josh Barnett is my sister’s meathead boyfriend.”)

Betting odds for the complete lineup of tomorrow night’s Strikeforce card were released yesterday, and looking over these numbers, it seems like the perfect opportunity to dig yourself out of the hole you put yourself in by following our previous gambling advice. Now, we don’t actually recommend the use of off-shore gambling sites these days, in light of the government’s recent eRaids, but hey, entertainment purposes and all, right? Check out the juiciest lines for Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com, then listen very carefully to what we have to say…

Main Card (Showtime, 10 p.m.)
Alistair Overeem (-321) vs. Fabricio Werdum (+300)
Josh Barnett (-319) vs. Brett Rogers (+309)
K.J. Noons (-144) vs. Jorge Masvidal (+135)
Daniel Cormier (-300) vs. Jeff Monson (+325)
Valentijn Overeem (+111) vs. Chad Griggs (-122)

(Something’s different here. I just can’t put my finger on it)

It kind of snuck up on you there, didn’t it? Don’t worry, us too. Funny, we must’ve had other stuff on our minds this week because it feels like we haven’t given UFC 128 the attention it probably deserves. Without the UFC’s historic acquisition of that other company whose name already escapes us, this weekend’s main event featuring largely overlooked champion Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and insanely hyped challenger Jon Jones would be one of the most hotly anticipated fights of the year. Instead, it feels as if it’s already on top of us and we haven’t even figured out if Jones and Rashad Evans are still boys yet.

Anyway, you know what you came here for. As always, the odds for this week’s event come to us from Sportsbook.com and our picks are presented for entertainment purposes only. Also, for the purposes of WINNING MAJOR WADS OF CASH! What! … yeah … ahem … you’ll have to excuse us, we’re pretty jacked about this one. After the jump find our foolproof scheme for checking major bank at UFC 128, all without leaving your couch.

(Now that’s gangster. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com) 

Strikeforce: Diaz vs. Noons II goes down Saturday night (Showtime, 10 p.m. ET/PT), and it’s not too late to put some cash on the fights. If you’ve already blown your kids’ college fund — hey, it happens — please swing by MMA Fightpicker and made your picks there. Otherwise, check out the Internet’s most favorable betting odds (below, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com) and let’s get to work…

MAIN CARD
Nick Diaz (-199) vs. KJ Noons (+200)
Sarah Kaufman (-290) vs. Marloes Coenen (+273)
Josh Thomson (-160) vs. Gesias "J.Z." Cavalcante (+159)
Tyron Woodley (-240) vs. Andre Galvao (+220)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Bret Bergmark (-124) vs. James Terry (+120)
Eric Lawson (-110) vs. Ron Keslar (EV)

After an unsuccessful stint in rehab, the Gambling Addiction Enabler has returned to do what it does best — make large, ill-advised wagers simply for the thrill of gambling. We’re not saying you should follow our betting advice, necessarily, but there are plenty of opportunities to beat the bookies at UFC 119, which goes down this Satuday in Indianapolis. The betting lines are below, courtesy of bestfightodds.com. If you can’t afford to waste real money, please hit up MMA FightPicker and throw down some virtual PotatoChips on the fights. And if you don’t know what these numbers mean, please read this first.

MAIN CARD
Frank Mir (-220) vs. Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic (+215)
Ryan Bader (-165) vs. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (+155)
Chris Lytle (-125) vs. Matt Serra (+120)
Evan Dunham (-204) vs. Sean Sherk (+190)
Melvin Guillard (-150) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+140)

SPIKE TV PRELIMS
CB Dollaway (-295) vs. Joe Doerksen (+270)
Matt Mitrione (-140) vs. Joey Beltran (+136)

UNAIRED PRELIMS
Thiago Tavares (-290) vs. Pat Audinwood (+240)
Steve Lopez (-115) vs. Waylon Lowe (-115)
T.J. Grant (-150) vs. Julio Paulino (+145)
Mark Hunt (-215) vs. Sean McCorkle (+200)

And away we go…