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Gambling Addiction Enabler: TUF 11 Finale Edition

Keith Jardine UFC fighter scary
(Keith Jardine: The love child of Michael Berryman and this thing. Photo courtesy of ESPN)

You know what time it is, Potato Nation — it’s time to steal some money from your girlfriend’s purse and wire it to a shady off-shore gambling site in the faint hope that A) You’ll win your bets, and B) They’ll eventually send you your profits. Lots of luck, suckers! As tradition dictates, here are the betting lines for Saturday’s TUF 11 Finale, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com 

Court McGee (-180) vs. Kris McCray (+175)
Matt Hamill (-138) vs. Keith Jardine (+125)
Aaron Simpson (-334) vs. Chris Leben (+292)
Spencer Fisher (-175) vs. Dennis Siver (+163)
Jamie Yager (-105) vs. Rich Attonito (+105)

John Gunderson (-245) vs. Mark Holst (+285)
Brad Tavares (-205) vs. Seth Baczynski (+200)
Kyle Noke (-185) vs. Josh Bryant (+170)
Chris Camozzi (-125) vs. James Hammortree (even)
Travis Browne (-185) vs. James McSweeney (+155)

So how can we beat the bookmakers on Saturday? Pull up a chair and I’ll lay it all out for you…

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 114 Edition

UFC 114 poster MMA Quinton Rampage Jackson Rashad Evans
(Props: CagePotato reader Mitch C.)
 
After making a solid profit on Heavy Artillery, the Gambling Enabler is ready to let it ride on UFC 114. Are you ready? Or are you too chickenshit to claim what’s yours in this life? Seriously, if you don’t have the balls to make hypothetical online wagers on UFC fights, then LEAVE NOW BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT YOU. Odds are only being offered on seven matches from the #114 card, but that’s enough to make us a little cash, so lets take a look at the numbers courtesy of MMAMoneyline

Rashad Evans (-115) vs. Quinton Jackson (+105)
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (-540) vs. Jason Brilz (+375)
Michael Bisping (-185) vs. Dan Miller (+160)
Todd Duffee (-430) vs. Mike Russow (+325)
Diego Sanchez (-220) vs. John Hathaway (+185)
Amir Sadollah (-130) vs. Dong Hyun Kim (+120)
Efrain Escudero (-400) vs. Dan Lauzon (+350)

Now then…

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: WEC 48 Edition

Urijah Faber Jose Aldo WEC 48
(Fun fact: Jose Aldo got that scar when he was a baby, after his sisters rolled him onto a barbecue pit. Well, maybe that’s not so much a "fun" fact as a completely horrifying one. Depends on your definition of fun, I guess. / Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Now that some of you are sitting on hefty tax returns from defrauding the government while in prison, it’s time to see if we can turn those little nest eggs into big, throbbing piles of money. WEC 48 is this Saturday — only on Pay Per View! — and there are plenty of opportunities to beat the oddsmakers. But before we share our red-hot, sure-thing, can’t-miss tips*, let’s take a look at the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com

MAIN CARD
Jose Aldo (-295) vs. Urijah Faber (+289)
Ben Henderson (even) vs. Donald Cerrone (-110)
Mike Brown (-600) vs. Manny Gamburyan (+500)
Shane Roller (-140) vs. Anthony Njokuani (+115)
Scott Jorgensen (-250) vs. Antonio Banuelos (+230)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Leonard Garcia (-130) vs. Chan Sung Jung (+110)
Anthony Pettis (-550) vs. Alex Karalexis (+505) 
Brad Pickett (-127) vs. Demetrious Johnson (even)
Chad Mendes (-465) vs. Anthony Morrison (+375)
Takeya Mizugaki (-150) vs. Rani Yahya (+130)
Brandon Visher (-300) vs. Tyler Toner (+240)

* We kindly request that you don’t consult previous editions of the Gambling Enabler to verify this claim.

Damn, a lot of surprises here…

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 111 Edition

(Nothing to see here but me yappin’ with Steve Cofield and Dave Farra about how to lose money most efficiently at UFC 111.)

For those of you lucky enough to snag tickets to UFC 111 before they sold out, you get to play an entirely different kind of betting game in Newark, New Jersey on Saturday night. We like to call it, ‘Mugged or Propositioned?’ It’s simple, really. You try and guess whether you will be mugged, or offered drugs and/or the services of a prostitute. Both are bound to happen eventually, but the key is to peg which one will happen first. You don’t win anything if you guess right. That’s why this game sucks.

As usual, the best odds on the internet come to us from BestFightOdds.com:

Georges St. Pierre (-650) vs. Dan Hardy (+638)
Frank Mir (-140) vs. Shane Carwin (+130)
Ben Saunders (-155) vs. Jake Ellenberger (+148)
Jon Fitch (+140) vs. Thiago Alves (-145)
Jim Miller (-332) vs. Mark Bocek (+310)
Nate Diaz (-275) vs. Rory Markham (+250)
Ricardo Almeida (-138) vs. Matt Brown (+135)
Kurt Pellegrino (-165) vs. Fabricio Camoes (+160)
Rodney Wallace (-120) vs. Jared Hamman (-103)
Rousimar Palhares (-237) vs. Tomasz Drwal (+211)
Matthew Riddle (-217) vs. Greg Soto (+190)

The breakdown…

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 110


(Proof that being a bad-ass does not prevent you from looking like a stereotypical tourist in a foreign country. Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

This weekend’s UFC event down under is a tricky one for your old pal the Enabler. You see, years ago I promised my sponsor that I wouldn’t bet on any more Australian sporting events. It’s a long story that I’d rather not get into right now, so let’s just say that it involved a high-stakes netball match and a ’92 Pontiac that wasn’t exactly mine to lose.

But this is different. This is the UFC. Surely I can make an exception here, right? Not even that lot of criminals can fix a fight in the UFC. Not like those crooked netball games. The tastiest betting lines on the internet come to us courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (+105) vs. Cain Velasquez (-110)
Wanderlei Silva (-130) vs. Michael Bisping (+130)
Joe Stevenson (-240) vs. George Sotiropoulos (+218)
Keith Jardine (+140) vs. Ryan Bader (-135)
Mirko Filipovic (-135) vs. Ben Rothwell (+130)

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UFC 107 Gambling Enabler…The (Very Short) Movie!


UFC 107 Gambling Enabler – Watch more Funny Videos

Some people say that there’s nothing worthwhile you can accomplish with one camera, two untrained actors, and very little in the way of budget or professional lighting equipment. We say those people are a bunch of negative jerks who probably hate themselves and smell really bad. In the name of trying something a little different, we produced a video version of our old “Gambling Addiction Enabler” for UFC 107. We mainly did this because our latest research suggests that many of you are functionally illiterate, but also because we thought it would be fun. We were right. On both counts.

Enjoy our first effort at this. We can only get better.

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: Strikeforce – Fedor vs. Rogers

Brett Rogers and Fedor Emelianenko
(A quick game of rock, scissors, paper to determine who has to sit next to Jerry Millen. Photo courtesy of MixFight.ru.)

If there’s anything the old Gambling Addiction Enabler loves more than placing irresponsible bets on sporting events, it’s placing irresponsible bets on sporting events that are broadcast on network TV.  It has an odd way of making you feel less like a degenerate and more like a regular citizen with a crippling addiction.  It’s like going from drinking malt liquor behind T.J. Maxx to drinking it in a nice, drafty flophouse.  You end up sleeping on broken glass either way, but there’s something that feels so much classier about indoor broken glass, you know?

The best betting odds on the internet come to us courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Fedor Emelianenko (-495) vs. Brett Rogers (+497)
Jake Shields (-266) vs. “Mayhem” Miller (+236)
Gegard Mousasi (-460) vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou (+393)
Antonio Silva (+156) vs. Fabricio Werdum (-165)

The breakdown…

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