Did that title totally blow your freakin minds?! We know it did, but for those of you who still remain on the planet Earth after reading it, prepare yourselves for a double dose of down and dirty gambling advice. Thanks to a pair of back-to-back cards and an injury curse the likes of which we’ve never seen before, this weekend’s UFC on FX 4 and UFC 147 events have just enough interesting matchups between them to help you prosper during the greatest American depression since the last great American depression, so lets do some (betting) lines!

UFC on FX: Maynard vs. Guida
Gray Maynard (-305) vs. Clay Guida (+275)
Spencer Fisher (+260) vs. Sam Stout (-290)
Brian Ebersole (-240) vs. T.J. Waldburger (+200)
Ross Pearson (-180) vs. Cub Swanson (+165)
Hatsu Hioki (-185) vs. Ricardo Lamas (+155)
C.J. Keith (+225) vs. Ramsey Nijem (-285)
Joey Gambino (-115 ) vs. Steven Siler (-115)
Rick Story (-380) vs. Brock Jardine (+290)
Luis Ramos (+145) vs. Matt Brown (-175)
Chris Camozzi (+175) vs. Nick Catone (-245)
Ricardo Funch (+375) vs. Dan Miller (-515)

UFC 147 
Rich Frankin (-170) vs. Wanderlei Silva (+150)
Cezar Ferreira (-260) vs. Sergio Moraes (+200)
Rony Mariano Bezerra (-280) vs. Godofredo de Oliveira (+220)
Mike Russow (+400) vs. Fabricio Werdum (-500)
Yuri Alcantara (+220) vs. Hacran Dias (-280)
(all figures courtesy of BestFightOdds) 

Thoughts…

(I’ll show you Linsanity, you racist sonofabitch!) 

Perhaps it’s because we are truly spontaneous creatures at heart, but we are more excited for tomorrow night’s UFC on FUEL broadcast than perhaps any other free card in as long as we can remember, if only because it gives us an excuse to do something on a Tuesday night that we normally save for the weekends ie. drink, shout at the TV until our ears bleed, and gamble away the money we have yet to even earn. And since we don’t want to be the only MMA fans waiting in line at the soup kitchen come next week, we figured we’d drag you all down with us. Because, honestly, it’s neither as easy or as fun to start a soup fight with the homeless by yourself. Anyway, check out the betting lines below, courtesy of BestFightOdds, and join us after the jump for our more-or-less comprehensible advice.

MAIN CARD (FUEL TV)
Chan Sung Jung (+270) vs. Dustin Poirier (-330)
Amir Sadollah (-185) vs. Jorge Lopez (+160)
Donald Cerrone (-255) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+215)
Yves Jabouin (-235) vs. Jeff Hougland (+195)
Igor Pokrajac (+145) vs. Fabio Maldonado (-165)
Jason MacDonald (+200) vs. Tom Lawlor (-240)

PRELIMINARY CARD (Fuel.tv, 5:30 p.m. ET / 2:30 p.m. PT)
Cody McKenzie (-105) vs. Marcus LeVesseur (-115)
Brad Tavares (-175) vs. Dongi Yang (+155)
T.J. Grant (-400) vs. Carlo Prater (+325)
Rafael Dos Anjos (-280) vs. Kamal Shalorus (+240)
Jeff Curran (-135) vs. Johnny Eduardo (+115)
Alex Soto (+200) vs. Francisco Rivera (-240)

Thoughts…

On the heels of what was a hugely successful (both in terms of action and PPV sales) UFC 145, the UFC will look to keep the momentum going with this weekend’s UFC on FOX 3 card, which features a smorgasbord of great match-ups (praise be to Joe Silva). And the only way to make a great thing even better would be to walk away with a little extra moolah, don’t you think? Because, to paraphrase what Bobby McFerrin once said, “If you don’t have cash, you don’t have style, and you sure as hell don’t have a gal to make you smile.” Something like that. So check out the tasty betting lines below, courtesy of BestFightOdds, and follow us after the jump for some sound advice that will surely score you one out of the three McFerrin keys to success. And don’t worry, none of the spreads are as insane as the current Akihiro Gono/Michael Chandler odds, which more closely resemble your chances of sleeping with Halle Berry, winning the lottery, and surviving a public bus fire in the same day. 

Main Card 
Jim Miller (-220) vs. Nate Diaz (+180)
Pat Barry (-210) vs. Lavar Johnson (+175)
Johny Hendricks (-120) vs. Josh Koscheck (+100)
Rousimar Palhares (-280) vs. Alan Belcher (+240)

Preliminary Card
Dennis Bermudez (-175) vs. Pablo Garza (+145)
Tony Ferguson (-270) vs. Michael Johnson (+210)
John Dodson (-400) vs. Tim Elliot (+300)*
Pascal Krause (-140) vs. John Hathaway (+110)*
John Linker (-150) vs. Louis Gaudinot (+120)*
John Cholish (-130) vs. Danny Castillo (EV)*
Roland Delorme (-130) vs. Nick Denis (EV)*
Mike Massenzio (-185) vs. Karlos Vemola (+145)*

*These lines are taken from Opposingviews.com, which has far different lines than BestFightOdds for the main card fights. They are the only site, however, with current odds for the given fights. 

Thoughts…

(Sarah Kaufman gives us the score on her MMA career and what she expects in her title bout with Takayo Hashi on Friday night.)

Yesterday on Twitter our pals over at Fight Magazine suggested that you’d have to be a “a real degenerate” to bet on Strikeforce: Challengers fights. We see where they’re coming from. Betting on fights, sometimes between relative unknowns, could be construed as a sign that you’re the kind of maniac who will bet on anything, whether it’s a fight between two stray cats or a UFC main event. That might be true…if you lose those bets. My friends, the Enabler does not plan on losing this weekend. Not if he wants to keep his legs in good working order, and he really, really wants that.

The best lines on the internet come to us courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Sarah Kaufman (-575) vs. Takayo Hashi (+500)
Trevor Prangley (-350) vs. Karl Amoussou (+330)
Luke Rockhold (-185) vs. Paul Bradley (+180)
James Terry (-130) vs. Tarec Saffiedine (+130)
Raul Castillo (+101) vs. Yancy Medeiros (-111)

The breakdown…

(For those of you who hate reading, watch me, Steve Cofield, and Dave Farra run through our betting picks for Raw Vegas.)

The UFC’s Seniors Tour kicks into high gear this weekend with the Randy Couture-Mark Coleman main event at UFC 109, which means the gamblers among us have even more variables to take into account than usual. We may not have to worry about Octagon jitters from these guys, but we do have to ask ourselves other important questions, like whose joints are more viable these days? Who starts more sentences with, ‘Back in my day…’? Who will reek worse of Icy Hot at fight time? Perhaps most importantly, who needs that win bonus more?

Some things for you to ponder as we look at current betting lines from across the internet, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Randy Couture (-396) vs. Mark Coleman (+350)
Nate Marquardt (-350) vs. Chael Sonnen (+325)
Mike Swick (-220) vs. Paulo Thiago (+202)
Matt Serra (-130) vs. Frank Trigg (+125)
Dan Miller (+325) vs. Demian Maia (-330)

The breakdown…