(For the girl in the Spiderman costume, what happened later that night was the most humiliating experience of her life. For Jon Lovitz, it was just another champagne orgy. Photo via VegasNews)

UFC president Dana White — who, as we are legally obligated to tell you, has never bet on a UFC fight in his life, other than that friendly $100 cash wager he made on Manny Gamburyan vs. Thiago Tavares — has cut ties with The Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, a longtime host-venue of TUF Finale events. In true Godfather style, it’s over an insult, related to his immense, well-documented love of gambling (which again, he’s never done on a UFC fight, except for that one time in January 2009).

Here’s the scoop, from swashbuckling shit-stirrer Norm Clarke of the Las Vegas Review Journal:

A falling-out with UFC president Dana White is the latest setback for the hard-hit Palms, sources confirmed Sunday.

The blowup occurred about six months ago when White, furious that his credit line was cut in half, pulled all UFC-related events from the Palms and has not returned…

(All this talk of finances is really harshing Urijah’s mellow. Pic: CageToday)

Props to our BFFs over at Bloody Elbow for pointing out an odd little singularity in the early UFC 132 betting lines this morning. After bantamweight champ Dominick Cruz and challenger Urijah Faber opened at matching -120 odds, early money appeared to push Faber to as much as a -160 favorite before Cruz stormed back to flip-flop the line. As is it stood in the a.m. on Monday, Cruz was now a -160 favorite, while Faber was a +120 dog, exactly the opposite of where they’d been less than 24 hours earlier.

But what does it all mean, you ask? Well, one of two things: Either the knee-jerk, hair-trigger gamblers blew their wad on Faber only to have opportunists go heavy on Cruz as soon as he became an underdog … or the chimpanzees who get paid to do data entry at these gambling sites screwed it up to begin with. Either way, we know you’re dying to hear more …

(After he was so excited about finally meeting Kevin Federline, Chuck was extremely disappointed to find out that K-Fed had a better picture pose than he did.)

The Gambling Addiction Enabler had a somewhat rough go at Strikeforce thanks to Frank Shamrock deciding to go ahead and get old out of nowhere (okay fine, in retrospect, probably should have seen that one coming), but he managed to cut his losses by picking Scott Smith to pull off the minor upset against Benji Radach.  With underdogs proving profitable, maybe your favorite compulsive gambler will have to take a long look at some of the major ones on the UFC 97 lineup.  Maybe put down a big bet on a certain middleweight challenger who nobody thinks has a chance in hell…

Odds today come from BestFightOdds.com:

Anderson Silva (-500) vs. Thales Leites (+456)
"Shogun" Rua (+170) vs. Chuck Liddell (-172)
Brian Stann (+151) vs. Krzysztof Soszynski (-150)
Nate Quarry (+110) vs. Jason MacDonald (-110)
David Loiseau (-112) vs. Ed Herman (+110)
David Bielkheden (+240) vs. Mark Bocek (-255)
Antoni Hardonk (+275) vs. Cheick Kongo (-261)
Steve Cantwell (+265) vs. Luis Cane (-275)
Eliot Marshall (+120) vs. Vinny Magalhaes (-150)
Xavier Fouka-Pokam (+300) vs. Denis Kang (-300)
T.J. Grant (+177) vs. Ryo Chonan (-187)
Sam Stout (-125) vs. Matt Wiman (+120)

Best bets…

(‘Look what I found in the dumpster behind Jake Shields’ apartment!  Honestly, the things some people throw away.’)

The Gambling Addiction Enabler isn’t going to jerk your chain here, after last week’s dismal performance he considered giving it up.  He went to a couple meetings, listened to those quitters down at Gambler’s Anonymous whining about the houses and cars and marriages they’d lost because of their compulsive betting.  He even thought about taking up a less destructive hobby, like tennis or pornography. 

Then he thought about you, the members of the Potato Nation who depend on him for his reckless and often unsound gambling advice, and who live vicariously through his wins and his losses.  Dear readers, he decided he simply couldn’t let you down.  That’s how much he cares about you/is willing to use you as a justification.  And besides, if his wife really loved him she wouldn’t ask him to change, right?

Odds for the main card of this weekend’s Strikeforce event come courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Frank Shamrock (-165) vs. Nick Diaz (+145)
Benji Radach (-165) vs. Scott Smith (+145)
Gilbert Melendez (-315) vs. Rodrigo Damm (+275)
“Cyborg” Santos (-455) vs. Hitomi Akano (+375)
Brett Rogers (-440) vs. Abongo Humphrey (+360)

Thoughts…

(Do you have to be so smug about my misfortune, Henderson? Photo courtesy WEC.tv)

Potato Nation, let me level with you here.  The old Gambling Addiction Enabler had himself one hell of a bad night on Sunday.  As in, he has spent all day talking himself out of cutting his wrists with shards of the beer bottle he smashed against the wall just after Jeff Curran lost.  The fact that this horrible gambling outing came after his great success at UFC Fight Night 18, that just makes it hurt so much more.  The highs are high indeed, and the lows so miserably low.  The Snoop Dogg posters I bought with my UFC 96 winnings, they mock me even as I write these words.  

On to the sad particulars, and let’s see if we can’t learn from this disaster.

The Bet: $20 on Shane Roller
The Result: Lost, due to possibly bullshit stoppage
Thoughts: I refuse to beat myself up for this bet.  Roller had Henderson hurt early and nearly finished him with a guillotine.  Alas, it wasn’t to be.  I have to admit, this fight does make me rethink my betting philosophy for WEC events.  When two relatively inexperienced guys both drop each other within the first two minutes of the fight, picking the winner is basically a crapshoot.  Lesson learned?

(Hold on, guys. I don’t know how to say this, but it seems like one of you is really embracing your character here and one you, cough*Miguel*cough, is still holding back. Let’s try it again, with some feeling this time.)

Fresh off a profitable UFC Fight Night 18, the Gambling Addiction Enabler is ready to throw all his winnings away on Sunday night’s WEC event and then fall into a deep depression that leads to him holding up a liquor store just to get gambling money for next week’s Strikeforce event.  Yes, that might sound a little too detailed, but if you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.

Odds, come today from BestFightOdds.com:

Miguel Torres (-600) vs. Takeya Mizugaki (+450)
Ben Henderson (+120) vs. Shane Roller (-150)
Jeff Curran (-130) vs. Joseph Benavidez (even)
Fredson Paixao (+275) vs. Wagnney Fabiano (-345)
Akitoshi Tamura (+130) vs. Manny Tapia (-160)
Jameel Massough (+275) vs. Rafael Assuncao (-345)
Dominick Cruz (-450) vs. Ivan Lopez (+370)
Eddie Wineland (+240) vs. Rani Yahya (-300)
Anthony Njokuani (+135) vs. Bart Palaszewski (-165)
Mike Budnik (+250) vs. Rafael Dias (-310)

Thoughts…

(This is the point where I may have uttered, ‘Oh no.’ Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

It was not a bad night for the Gambling Addiction Enabler.  If not for Jorge Rivera pulling out a decision victory over Nissen Osterneck, it would have been absolutely perfect.  Alas, it wasn’t to be, though I can’t really complain.

The Bet: $20 on Martin Kampmann at -120
The Result: Won $16.67
Thoughts: I’ll admit it, when it came time for the judges’ decision to be announced and I heard the phrase “Judge Cecil Peoples scores the bout…” I was prepared to see my money go swirling down the drain.  Thankfully there were two sane men at Octagonside, so justice prevailed.  And like Thomas Jefferson said, “The best brand of justice is that which pays cash money, dog.”

(You didn’t think Martin Kampmann’s eyebrows always looked so perfect by accident, did you?)

When last we left the Gambling Addiction Enabler, a mathematical error had left him mistakenly believing that he suffered a net loss at UFC 96 rather than a gain of $30.  So now that he’s realized his error, you might be wondering, does that mean he has an extra thirty bones to throw around at UFC Fight Night 18?  Sadly, no.  That event was several weeks ago, so he’s already spent the money on a bunch of Snoop Dogg posters from Hot Topic.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is that his home office now looks straight-up gangsta.

But tomorrow night is a brand new opportunity to turn MMA knowledge and a taste for reckless financial risk into cold hard cash.  Here are the best lines on the internet, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Carlos Condit (+102) vs. Martin Kampmann (-110)
Ryan Bader (-400) vs. Carmelo Marrero (+360)
Tyson Griffin (-385) vs. Rafael Dos Anjos (+355)
Junie Browning (+120) vs. Cole Miller (-125)
Gleison Tibau (-145) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+145)
Ricardo Almeida (-275) vs. Matt Horwich (+245)
Brock Larson (-450) vs. Jesse Sanders (+400)
Tim Credeur (-117) vs. Nick Catone (+110)
Jorge Rivera (-135) vs. Nissen Osterneck (+140)
Rob Kimmons (-255) vs. Joe Vedepo (+230)
Tim McKenzie (+145) vs. Aaron Simpson (-167)
Steve Steinbeiss (+165) vs. Ryan Jensen (-195)

Thoughts…

(You guys know this thing doesn’t even count, right?)

When the Nevada State Athletic Commission ruled yesterday to change Karo Parisyan’s decision win over Dong Hyun Kim at UFC 94 into a “no decision” on account of the various painkillers running through Parisyan’s veins at the time of the fight, I wondered the same thing I always wonder: how does this affect me?

As you may recall, I put a bet down on Kim when I was going crazy in Vegas the day before UFC 94.  I lost and was forced to dance for nickels under a bridge just to get enough money to make it home.  But with the bout result changed, did the MGM Grand now owe me my money back?  Were they also on the hook for the price of the tetanus shot I had to get when I got home (those nickels aren’t clean, no matter what anyone tells you)?  

I didn’t know, so I called the MGM Grand.  Turns out, they didn’t really know either.  After a lengthy back and forth, they gave up and told me to call the sportsbook at the Mirage, whose policies the MGM Grand follows on this sort of thing.  So I did.  I called the Mirage and got transferred around a bunch.  I got told several different times that the sportsbook didn’t take calls, but my question confused enough people, and eventually they put me through to the sportsbook, where my hopes were immediately shot down.

(Well, this sure didn’t help.  Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

After my meager success at WEC 39, I decided to up my wagers just a little with the hopes of getting my profits into double digits following UFC 96.  The results were…mixed.  Here’s how I did, in case you’re keeping score of my finances at home.

Bet: $50 on Shane Carwin at +140
Result: Won $70 profit
What I Learned: Plenty of you told me I was crazy for betting on a guy who was undefeated against bunch of scrubs.  One of you even claimed Gabriel Gonzaga would have beat Randy Couture if not for a headbutt.  But I went with my gut and profited.  So there.  Who’s the jackass now?  You are.  You’re the jackass.  I’m the guy with an extra seventy bucks in my pocket.  I’ll be at the strip club if you need me.

(There’s my boy.  Photo courtesy of WEC.tv)

As some of you have noted in the comments to our Gambling Addiction Enabler series, following our betting advice seems likely to lead to financial ruin.  Weird, I know.  It’s almost as if you shouldn’t make financial decisions based on what you read for free on the internet while you’re supposed to be working.

But in an effort to bring accountability and transparency to the Gambling Addiction Enabler, here’s how I did following my own advice for WEC 39.

The Bet: $20 on Mike Brown at -185 (BetUs.com)
The Outcome: Won a cool $10.81 (plus, you know, my original twenty back). 
What I Learned: Yes, I know I’m betting small here but it’s the WEC, which is basically the dog track of MMA.  You don’t want to blow hundreds of dollars on some greyhounds that will be euthanized four months from now, so to speak.  (To really lose your ass, you go to Santa Anita.  Which for the purposes of this ill-fated analogy, is the UFC.)  My faith in Brownie paid off here, albeit in meager fashion.  But I’m building my gambling fortune empire and like they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.  It also wasn’t built on twenty-dollar bets on guys who were favored at almost 2-1, but I’m conveniently ignoring that fact in order to savor this win.

(Mike Brown prays to Krom for victory.  But if Krom does not help, then to hell with him, Brown will do it himself.)

You may have forgotten all about WEC 39 on Sunday night, such is your excitement for our party with Fight! Magazine in Columbus, Ohio, but we remembered because someone has to keep things in order around here.  In case you’re not content just watching a night of free fights on Versus, we’ll also help you throw away your money betting on them.  Because that’s how little we care about your welfare and happiness.

Here are the sweetest lines out there, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Mike Brown (-165) vs. Leonard Garcia (+160)
Marcus Hicks (+134) vs. Rob McCullough (-144)
John Franchi (-118) vs. Mike Budnik (+108)
Johny Hendricks (-312) vs. Alex Serdyukov (+300)
Chris Mickle (+700) vs. Jose Aldo (-850)
Damacio Page (-140) vs. Marcus Galvao (+130)
Alex Karalexis (-175) vs. Greg McIntyre (+165)
Phil Cardella (+151) vs. Danny Castillo (-160)
Rafael Rebello (even) vs. Kenji Osawa (-110)
Justin Haskins (+180) vs. Mike Pierce (-193)
Bart Palaszewski (-272) vs. Ricardo Lamas (+260)

Thoughts…

(You call that a mean face?  Shiiieeeet.)

Betting odds are out for this Saturday’s UFC event on Spike TV, which we’ll be liveblogging as usual.  If you’ve still got the disposable cash and the devil-may-care attitude necessary for online gambling in this bleak economic climate, allow us to steer you in the right direction for this one.  

The juiciest lines on the internets come to us courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Joe Stevenson (+281) vs. Diego Sanchez (-295)
Dan Hardy (even) vs. Rory Markham (-108)
Nate Marquardt (-258) vs. Wilson Gouveia (+250)
Demian Maia (-256) vs. Chael Sonnen (+236)
Josh Koscheck (-450) vs. Paulo Thiago (+450)
Terry Etim (-220) vs. Brian Cobb (+205)
Junior Dos Santos (-260) vs. Stefan Struve (+240)
Mike Ciesnolevicz (-115) vs. Neil Grove (-105)
Per Eklund (-160) vs. Evan Dunham (+140)
Paul Kelly (-290) vs. Troy Mandaloniz (+290)

Thoughts…

(Will "Rumble" Johnson crumple another opponent into a carry-on sized hunk of meat?  Magic eight ball says, "All signs point to yes.")

Between greasing controversies and the Strikeforce purchase of Pro Elite, we certainly hope you haven’t forgotten about UFC Fight Night 17 on Spike this Saturday.  Ah, who are we kidding, you’re not going to forget.  It’s a night of free fights, and we’ll be liveblogging it!  What more could you want?  

Well, for starters, how about the opportunity to parlay that cash you won’t be spending on a pay-per-view (for a change) into big winnings with our helpful betting guide?  Yeah, that sounds nice, doesn’t it?  Odds come courtesy of BestFightOdds.com, as usual.

Joe Lauzon (-175) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+166)
Cain Velasquez (-550) vs. Denis Stojnic (+501)
Mac Danzig (-120) vs. Josh Neer (+120)
Luigi Fioravanti (+276) vs. Anthony Johnson (-285)
Kurt Pellegrino (-200) vs. Rob Emerson (+191)
Dan Miller (-165) vs. Jake Rosholt (+186)
Matt Grice (-145) vs. Matt Veach (+141)
Gleison Tibau (-115) vs. Rich Clementi (+105)
Nick Catone (-220) vs. Derek Downey (+206)
Steve Bruno (+105) vs. Matt Riddle (-115)

Thoughts…

(‘Hope you got that camera turned on, ’cause I ain’t doing this shit again.’)

Looks like “running the rock” wasn’t enough to impress oddsmakers, as B.J. Penn is still the betting underdog just two days before UFC 94.  Maybe if we got the impression that the rock exercise was something he did every morning, rather than just once to show off for the cameras, things would be different.  

Today’s betting lines come from BestFightOdds.com, and they’re tighter than usual all across the board, with one exception.

Georges St. Pierre (-175) vs. BJ Penn (+166)
Lyoto Machida (-245) vs. Thiago Silva (+232)
Stephan Bonnar (-165) vs. Jon Jones (+156)
Karo Parisyan (-271) vs. Dong Hyun Kim (+260)
Nate Diaz (-117) vs. Clay Guida (+107)
Jon Fitch (-500) vs. Akihiro Gono (+450)
Chris Wilson (-295) vs. John Howard (+285)
Manvel Gamburyan (+116) vs. Thiago Tavares (-120)
Jake O’Brien (-240) vs. Christian Wellisch (+236)
Matt Arroyo (-170) vs. Dan Cramer (+161)

Thoughts…

(Think of it this way: if Gilbert asked to "borrow" money, would you consider that a good idea?  It’s the same with betting on him.)

Just in case picking the winners in our official Affliction Pick-em Contest isn’t enough action for you (after all, you don’t stand to lose anything except time and self-respect), you can also wager actual money on the proceedings thanks to the internet and the wonder of off-shore gambling.  Here are the best betting lines on the World Wide Web, thanks to BestFightOdds.com:

Fedor Emelianenko (-350) vs. Andrei Arlovski (+336)
Josh Barnett (-500) vs. Gilbert Yvel (+491)
Vitor Belfort (+160) vs. Matt Lindland (-160)
Renato Sobral (-155) vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou (+125)
Chris Horodecki (-220) vs. Dan Lauzon (+180)
Paul Buentello (-200) vs. Kiril Sidellnikov (+160)
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (-110) vs. Vladimir Matyushenko (-120)
Jay Hieron (-275) vs. Jason High (+215)
Bao Quach (+160) vs. L.C. Davis (-200)
Albert Rios (+195) vs. Antonio Duarte (-245)
Brett Cooper (-200) vs. Patrick Speight (+160)

Thoughts…

(Anyone else feeling suddenly very uncomfortable?)

Odds for the five televised bouts at UFC 93 are out on all the big betting sites.  Since the undercard (with the possible exception of the Martin Kampmann-Alexandre Barros bout) is made up mostly of guys you don’t know well or at all, it’s probably best that the off-shore experts don’t entice you to guess your money away.  Then again, maybe you have a hot tip on Tom Egan that you’re just dying to act on.

The most favorable odds on the ‘net are compiled, as usual, from our friends at BestFightOdds.com.  

Rich Franklin (+115) vs. Dan Henderson (-125)
Mark Coleman (+320) vs. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua (-336)
Alan Belcher (+275) vs. Denis Kang (-271)
Jeremy Horn (+275) vs. Rousimar Palhares (-455)
Marcus Davis (-131) vs. Chris Lytle (+121)

Thoughts…

(Now that I think about it, Kinnikuman would fit in perfectly with the TapouT crew.  Somebody get Punk-Ass to bring the bus around and pick him up.)

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you really want to bet on K-1 Dynamite 2008 tonight, which you probably won’t get to watch until tomorrow and which may or may not turn out to be a total shitstorm.  First, you’re a crazy son of a bitch, you know that?  Second, we got you covered.  Here are the best odds on the ‘net, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Joachim Hansen (+150) vs. Gesias Cavalcante (-105)
Kazushi Sakuraba (-125) vs. Kiyoshi Tamura (+120)
Eddie Alvarez (-105) vs. Shinya Aoki (+120)
Semmy Schilt (-531) vs. Siala Siliga (+450)
Hong Man Choi (+160) vs Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic (-155)
Daisuke Nakamura (-110) vs. Hideo Tokoro (+135)
Alistair Overeem (+270) vs. Badr Hari (-250)

Thoughts…

(‘Whatever, bro.’ Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.  Check out the full weigh-in gallery.)

So it’s not the greatest fight card ever assembled.  That much is obvious.  But it’s on Spike TV, we’ll be liveblogging it, and you don’t have anything else happening in your life on Wednesday night besides some old “Roseanne” re-runs and a couple Hot Pockets that you’ll be too lazy to heat up all the way.  Given those grim prospects, this is actually a bright spot in your week, plus it’s for a good cause.

To see how the betting odds are shaping up, we turn to BestFightOdds.com.  For help figuring out what these numbers mean, you should turn here.   

Josh Koscheck (-215) vs. Yoshiyuki Yoshida (+220)
Jonathan Goulet (+328) vs. Mike Swick (-358)
Razak Al-Hassan (+275) vs. Steve Cantwell (-294)
Matt Wiman (+117) vs. Jim Miller (-125)
Brodie Farber (+308) vs. Luigi Fioravanti (-325)
Johnny Rees (-109) vs. Steve Bruno (+105)
Brandon Wolff (+326) vs. Ben Saunders (-355)
Nate Loughran (+145) vs. Tim Credeur (-131)
Dale Hartt (+265) vs. Corey Hill (-277)
Justin McCully (+161) vs. Eddie Sanchez (-170)

Thoughts…

(Aww, just wait till you get older and can grow a real mustache!)

Depending on how you look at it, betting on WEC fights is usually either a sign that you know something about a small-time, up-and-comer that the bookies don’t, or else it’s an indicator that you have a real gambling problem.  As in a Pete Rose kind of problem.  And that ain’t cool.  Just ask Pete Rose, who will still tell you he doesn’t have a problem, but will also tell you that he is not in the baseball Hall of Fame.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  If you know the fighters you can have plenty of fun putting down an educated wager on a WEC fight.  Plus, it’s on free TV, so you can take that money that in the future you’ll have to spend on WEC pay-per-views and gamble it away!  Nah, that was a joke.  If you think like that then you really do have a problem.  

Here are the odds on tonight’s action, courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Miguel Torres (-525) vs. Manny Tapia (+400)
Brian Bowles (-145) vs. Will Ribeiro (+140)
Akitoshi Tamura (+300) vs. Wagnney Fabiano (-360)
Joseph Benavidez (-290) vs. Danny Martinez (+250)
Johnny Hendricks (-430) vs. Justin Haskins (+350)
Mark Munoz (-600) vs. Ricardo Barros (+525)
Diego Nunes (-175) vs. Cole Province (+160)
Bart Palaszewski (-260) vs. Alex Karalexis (+220)
Hiroyuki Takaya (+180) vs. Cub Swanson (-185)
Shane Roller (-255) vs. Mike Budnik (+220)

Thoughts…

(Odds on that dog doing something adorable: very, very good.)

Though we’ve debated the topic nearly to death over the last few days, there’s still no online betting establishment giving odds on whether UFC 91 will really sell 1.2 million pay-per-views, as Dana White claims. What a shame. Knowing absolutely nothing about oddsmaking and even less about basic math, I’d put the line at +900. For all you ‘tards out there, that means I don’t think it will happen. The line on us seeing both Mandy Moore and Laura Prepon during the broadcast? -230. The line on the two of them fighting it out over the last Cosmo at the after-party? +15000. That’s not because they wouldn’t do it, but because the Cosmos never run dry when you hang with Dana White. Never.

As for the odds on actual fights that will actually happen, BestFightOdds.com has done all the leg work for us, and here are the best lines for UFC 91:

Brock Lesnar (-121) vs. Randy Couture (+111)
Kenny Florian (-174) vs. Joe Stevenson (+164)
Demian Maia (-200) vs. Nate Quarry (+195)
Dustin Hazelett (-150) vs. Tamdan McCrory (+175)
Gabriel Gonzaga (-370) vs. Josh Hendricks (+371)
Mark Bocek (-105) vs. Alvin Robinson (+110)
Jeremy Stephens (-115) vs. Rafael Dos Anjos (+117)
Jorge Gurgel (-115) vs. Aaron Riley (+126)
Matt Brown (-185) vs. Ryan Thomas (+190)

Thoughts…

(Pink polo shirt or gray hooded sweatshirt: who should you trust with your money? Ordinarily there’s no good answer.)

Patrick Cote says all his friends are putting money on him this weekend “so they will be a lot richer after the fight.” Something tells me that while his friends may go along with this when Cote is around, once he leaves the room they’re whispering to one another, ‘We’re not really doing that, right?’ Friendship is one thing, but sentimental gambling is quite another in bleak economic times.

If any of Cote’s friends are reading this, we’d like to alert you to some better prospects that might be available on Saturday night. No disrespect to your buddy, but the line on him won’t make you as rich as you think and if you bet on someone else you can not only actually make some money but also keep up appearances when you place a bet before the fight. See? Everybody wins!

Odds today come courtesy of BestFightOdds.com, which has thankfully compiled all the internet’s juiciest lines.

Anderson Silva (-600) vs. Patrick Cote (+505)
Sean Sherk (-230) vs. Tyson Griffin (+212)
Josh Koscheck (-150) vs. Thiago Alves (+135)
Gray Maynard (-220) vs. Rich Clementi (+210)
Fabricio Werdum (-850) vs. Junior Dos Santos (+600)
Thales Leites (-445) vs. Drew McFedries (+365)
Spencer Fisher (-345) vs. Shannon Gugerty (+299)
Hermes Franca (-180) vs. Marcus Aurelio (+190)
Josh Burkman (-197) vs. Pete Sell (+200)
Dan Miller (-325) vs. Matt Horwich (+305)

Thoughts…

(Bisping challenges another poor bloke to high-stakes Rock, Paper, Scissors.)

As our collective faith in the health of the economy deteriorates, the online gambling market is looking better and better. The more I think about it, the more I’m surprised it didn’t come up in last night’s debates. But once again neither candidate speaks to my issues. Looks like this is one more election year where I’ll end up scrawling “Wanderlei” in crayon across my ballot and then handing it to the overweight woman at the desk, who will inevitably respond by insisting that “this is not a polling place.” Goddamn bureaucracy.

Anyway, if you’re like me and are ready to bet your foreclosed home on UFC 89 this Saturday, here are the sweetest lines around, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com. If you don’t understand how betting odds work, read this. If you still don’t get it, stop sniffing glue.

Chris Leben (+191) vs. Michael Bisping (-211)
Luiz Cane (+104) vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou (-114)
Dan Hardy (+285) vs. Akihiro Gono (-308)
Neil Wann (+600) vs. Shane Carwin (-675)
Keith Jardine (+155) vs. Brandon Vera (-165)
Jess Liaudin (+141) vs. David Bielkheden (-135)
Marcus Davis (+230) vs. Paul Kelly (+285)
Paul Taylor (+300) vs. Chris Lytle (-328)
Samy Schiavo (+166) vs. Per Eklund (-180)
Terry Etim (+275) vs. Sam Stout (-291)
David Baron (+155) vs. Jim Miller (-172)

Thoughts…

(What, no odds on whether Gina will make weight?)

If betting odds are any indication of how competitive MMA bouts will turn out to be, expect a lot of one-sided blowouts on Elite XC’s CBS offering this Saturday night. Not that it’s any surprise, really. In fact, with five fights crammed into a two-hour time slot CBS is going to need some quick beatdowns if they don’t want to run way over and have to cut into precious local news time. In any event, Best Fight Odds supplies the most gambler-friendly betting lines for ‘Elite XC: Heat,’ and they break down like this:

Kimbo Slice (-325) vs. Ken Shamrock (+329)
Jake Shields (-550) vs. Paul Daley (+524)
Gina Carano (-550) vs. Kelly Kobald (+525)
Ninja Rua (-196) vs. Benji Radach (+210)
Andrei Arlovski (-428) vs. Roy Nelson (+385)

Some thoughts…

(Do you trust this man with your money?)

There’s yet another UFC event this weekend, which means another chance to throw your money into the bottomless pit of online sports wagering. As always, we’re happy to help you burn through your savings with our helpful advice, because who says your children need to go to college? If the Merchant Marines was good enough for you, it’s good enough for your little girl, too.

Betting odds are courtesy of Bodoglife.com. Read this if you still haven’t figured out what the + and – stuff means.

Evan Tanner (-190) vs. Kendall Grove (+160)

Right off I’ll say it, these odds seem a little reckless. It’s just so difficult to know what to expect out of either of these two. Tanner hasn’t won a fight since 2006 and that was against the consistently mediocre Justin Levens. He took an extended hiatus from the sport in order to wander the earth like Caine from Kung Fu, and then he returned to get KO’d by Yushin Okami. Now suddenly he’s the favorite?

Grove is coming off two straight losses, but against two pretty tough guys in Cote and Rivera. It’s understandable that his stock has dropped, but we still don’t know if that was a bad run for him or if he was never as good as his TUF victory made him appear.

Bottom line, this is a difficult one to call, which is why it’s surprising that the odds aren’t closer to even. Might be worth small action on Grove, but betting on this fight is like betting on a coin flip.

C.B. Dollaway (-160) vs. Amir Sadollah (+130)

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Nothing amps up the drama of watching a sporting event like knowing you have a little extra riding on the outcome. UFC 85 is tomorrow, and for me, that “little extra” is the possibility that I’ll be hard-barfing afterwards. For the rest of you, it might be throwing a few 20-spots down on your favorite fighters. If you still have some disposable mad-money left from your economic stimulus check, why not open an account at BetUS.com? And if you don’t know the first thing about what to do when you’re there, read on…

***

Let me first begin by saying thanks to the Bens for allowing me to take time away from eating the souls of virgin gypsy orphans to come on here and try to corrupt the minds of the Cage Taters.

For those of you who are too damn lazy to know who I am, my name is Damon Durante, and I’m the host of BetUS Sports Radio, a series of sports betting-related podcasts. To review: BetUS.com is a sportsbook, I am their radio host.

I cover pretty much every sport you can bet on, but I’ll let you know that football is pretty much the Cat’s Cotton Pajamas around here and is essentially 90% of what we do. I friggin’ love all sports, but MMA is my secret mistress.

I have made it my personal goal to bring MMA as far to the forefront of sports wagering as I can; football might pay the bills, but MMA burns deep in my loins, to which the only soothing balm is more MMA. (There have obviously been others in my industry attempting to capitalize on the popularity of MMA using different tactics, but through sheer lameness they ended up sucking donkey pouch.)

Unfortunately the newness of mixed martial arts as a whole contributes to the betting naivety of most people. I mean we’ve all seen football point spreads since we were kids, but the appearance of money lines for MMA fighters is still seemingly non-existent. Without a doubt the #1 question I get asked is “What the #%*$ does ‘minus 200′ mean?”

That’s why I’m writing this bad boy; to turn you all into degenerate gambling bastards.

As many of you were disappointed to learn, my UFC 84 ipecac pick-off against Fightlinker‘s Ryan Harkness ended in a 19-19 draw; with no contingency plan in place in case of a tie, neither of us were required to film ourselves violently projectile vomiting. That’s the bad news. The good news is that last night Ryan and I decided on the terms of the rematch. They are as follows:

— We will predict the entire card of UFC 85, which goes down just 11 days from now on June 7th.
— The three-point scoring system will be the same as before, with the person who scores lowest having to film themselves drinking ipecac. (I’m assuming you can get this stuff at the nearest Walgreen’s, because I actually don’t have any in my medicine cabinet.) Look for my new picks to go up next Wednesday, give or take.
— In the event of a tie, a tiebreaker will be determined via who picked the most “perfect” matches (fighter/round/method). If that’s also a tie, we’ll judge it by which of us called the most winning fighters. If that’s also a tie, then the ipecac bet is officially cursed and we will both drink ipecac to entertain you vultures.

Sound good? I’d also like to announce that CagePotato reader “ehummel” was the winner of the BetUS $100 free play credit contest, with a highly impressive score of 21. Hit us up at feedback@cagepotato.com, and we’ll let you know how to claim your credit.

(“The picture above was taken at the end of a week and a half of hardcore Blackjack.” Ed. note: [*shakes head*])

Cue Debbie Downer. Evan Tanner posted another journal entry today about how he’s already lost all the money he earned from UFC 82, and is now completely broke. Like, broke to the point of digging through dirty laundry and storage boxes to find enough change to buy a can of off-brand tuna, which is all he’s been consisting on for days. Hungry, and without money to buy food. Like, homeless person broke. And why? Because he spent a week and a half in a casino trying to win enough cash to pay his bills and other debts, and ended up losing what little he actually had. And also? He’d do it all over again if he could.

The subtext here is that Evan Tanner has replaced the delusions and denials of an alcohol addiction for the delusions and denials of a gambling addiction, but I’m not sure if he’s made the connection yet. I’m tempted to just copy+paste his entire heartbreaking/infuriating story, but here’s the meat of it:

For those of you who don’t know, when a fighter competes in the UFC, the purse is usually broken into two equal parts. There is a guaranteed purse the fighter receives just for showing up, and then there is the bonus purse, the other half, the fighter receives if he wins the fight. I knew that if I won the fight, I would be able to get everyone paid back, pay off the invoices I owed for the Team Tanner gear, pay my web designer, and have enough left over to get me to my next fight. Well, as we all know, the fight didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I only got the guaranteed purse, minus the medicals and other deductions. Considering the amount of money I owed, this didn’t really leave me much money to work with.

What was most important to me, more important than my own comfort, was paying back the people that had helped me out, and paying off my obligations. It is nothing more than a man should do.

But then it hit me, the thought that I could take what I had left down to the casino, and that maybe, just maybe I would get lucky, and make enough money to pay the last of my bills. That’s what I did. I took my money down to the casino……And I did get lucky, lucky enough to think I was going to get it done. I played hard. I don’t do anything halfway. I put my time in. I was so deep into it that I lost reference. I went at is for a week and a half, staying up all night, playing blackjack for 24 hours straight sometimes, forgetting to eat, not wanting to sleep…

In the end, I lost not only what I had won, but the little bit I had started out with as well. So I spent a week and a half gambling, staying up all night, not eating, dealing with all of the emotional ups and down of winning and losing, and I don’t have much to show for it, except that now I’m broke, I’m feeling really worn out, I’m a little depressed, and my sleep scedule is backwards.

Now you may ask if I regret it, if I would do it differently if I could, if I would take it back. NOT A CHANCE!!!!! … I went for it. I put it all on the line. I always will. I knew what the consequences would be if I failed, and I was willing to accept them. So any of you reading who might be feeling a twinge of sympathy, don’t. I made my decisions, and I accept the consequences. I’m no victim. And to those who are thinking about preaching at me, don’t bother. I won’t hear you. I haven’t accomplished anything in this life worth remembering by playing it safe. That’s boring to me anyway.

Great accomplishment only comes with great risk. I’ll accept the crippling, gut wrenching disappointment of risking all, and failing, but only by putting my whole heart and soul, my whole being into something, will I have the chance to walk among the stars. Those who risk nothing, those who live their lives in fear, will never have that chance. Failure is not a sin. It’s being too afraid to even try, that is a sin.

…which I guess is a noble attitude, if we were talking about anything other than gambling in Vegas. Failure, according to my definition, is putting up your tuna money against the turn of a card, and for an addict, success means avoiding risky behavior altogether. Evan will undoubtedly relapse unless he gets into a program, with a sponsor, somewhere far away from his current situation. We hope he realizes that those who are “preaching” at him only want to save his life.

EliteXC signs with CBS. The UFC signs with Budwesier. And CagePotato.com makes its first appearance on BetUS Radio.

It was a monumental week for MMA, and Damon D had me on the show today to plug the Potato, discuss the week’s wild news, and guide all you gambling addicts through the smart picks at UFC 82. I’d like to thank whoever gave me a cold this week, which left my naturally warm and sonorous voice a nasally, scratchy wreck. I’d also like to thank Sprint for their always crystal-clear cell phone reception. (Honestly, it sounds like I did the show via tin-cans-and-string from the bottom of a coal mine.) And on an unsarcastic note, I want to give a big shout-out to Damon for letting me swing by and talk shit for 40 minutes. The man’s energy…is contagious. Check out BetUS’s official UFC 82 odds here, and GO HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SHOW! You can also find the podcast in the iTunes store; just search for “UFC,” then click “See All” in the Podcasts section. Feedback appreciated!

Also Important: As I mentioned at the end of the show, I’m flying down to Columbus tomorrow to take in the fights, and I’ll have some first-person impressions and exclusives for you by Monday. Liveblogging the action in my place will be TheFightingLife‘s Ben Fowlkes, so be sure to come back here tomorrow night starting at 10pm ET/7pm PT for round-by-round updates. And go easy on him, okay?