(He will litigate to the death, and he is not joking about this.)

Well, he finally went and did it.  After weeks of less structured, though more entertaining gripes and accusations, UFC lightweight champ B.J. Penn and his camp have filed a formal complaint with the Nevada State Athletic Commission against welterweight champ Georges St Pierre.

The Penn camp filed a twenty-page document (so take that Jackson camp, with your puny seventeen pages) detailing the complaint and outlining the consequences they’d like to see.  And what are those consequences?  You know the usual.  They just want to see GSP, his trainers, and other as of yet unnamed parties fined $250,000, have the bout result changed to a no contest, suspend the licenses of GSP, Phil Nurse, and Greg Jackson, and force GSP to undergo pre-fight showers.  Basically just the regular old stuff.

The complaint also accuses St. Pierre of “ingesting a substance” to make his body especially slippery before the fight.  It makes us wish the formal hearing really does happen so we can hear Penn’s lawyer accuse GSP of drinking baby oil, and then hear GSP’s lawyer counter that baby oil is considered a delicacy in certain French-Canadian circles.

It’s in your hands now, NSAC.  Please do something and put an end to this epic paperwork war. 

In this clip from “Inside MMA” trainer Greg Jackson is asked about comments from Dana White insinuating that the greasing incident at UFC 94 was intentional, at least on the part of Georges St. Pierre’s trainers.  Jackson responds by calling the UFC prez a lying motherfucker.  Okay, not in those words, but it’s in his eyes.

Actually, the strange part is Jackson admitting that GSP’s magical breathing technique is “above my pay grade.”  Seriously?  You’ve got one of the best minds in MMA in your corner and even he doesn’t know what the hell you’re doing with your greasy hands on GSP’s chest?

After the jump, Raw Vegas takes a look at Gray Maynard’s training for his UFC 96 bout with Jim Miller.  You ask me, it could very well be one of the more interesting fights on the card.  Or it could be a typical Gray Maynard affair.  But I don’t know, those Miller boys, they’re tricky.

(Props: BJPenn.com)

As part of his one-man Warren Commission on that unfortunate UFC 94 greasing scandal, BJ Penn has released a highlight video of sorts, intended to prove exactly why Georges St. Pierre is a dirty, rotten, no-good cheater. I don’t know if Penn hired the same team responsible for putting together UFC Primetime, but this is a first-class production, all the way. Imagine if Genghis Con was a crybaby bitch who couldn’t accept that fact that he got crushed by GSP — this is the kind of video he’d make.

Oh, I kid the proud Hawaiian. To be honest, Penn presents a compelling case, and it does seem mighty suspicious that Sean Sherk, Matt Hughes, and Jason Miller all came up with the same excuse as to why they couldn’t handle St. Pierre. As the saying goes, where there’s smoke, there’s a hot pre-fight bath followed by a baby-oil rubdown. Also, the video’s use of "Tom Sawyer" by Rush? A very subtle dig at GSP’s Canadianism. Where’s your mean, mean pride, Georges?

(Say what you will about Big John, he could rock the black track pants and latex gloves with the best of them.)

The Los Angeles Times takes a look at various cheating methods in combat sports today, from the illegal substance in Antonio Margarito’s glove to the Vaseline on Georges St. Pierre’s body.  The message here is that cheating, or “gamesmanship,” as Bert Sugar charitably tags it, is nothing new.  

But of interest to MMA fans are remarks from former UFC referee “Big” John McCarthy, which suggest that greasing problems have persisted for some time now, and that it’s no big secret, either:

"Guys will push the envelope in every way possible," former UFC referee "Big" John McCarthy said of mixed martial arts fighters. "Vaseline has always been an issue in MMA. It’s a real problem."

McCarthy has seen MMA fighters come into the octagon after taking a bath filled with soapy water or even baby oil. "You can’t notice it when they’re dry, but when they get on the ground and start to sweat, it starts to come out of their pores," McCarthy said.

(Your attempts at psychological warfare amuse KenFlo.)

Sounds like Kenny Florian isn’t buying B.J. Penn’s revised story about the alleged GSP greasing and ‘roiding tip off any more than we are.  Talking with Fighters Only, KenFlo dismissed Penn’s claims outright, saying:

"Yeah it went from an email, to a text to a friend of the camp. I think next it will be a fax, and then it’ll probably be a bird that delivered a telegram to him from a roommate’s brother’s dog’s owner’s sister,” Florian laughed. 

"It’s kind of ridiculous. BJ is known as a trash talker and he plays a lot of mind games. He does a lot of psychological warfare. …People have tried that on me in the past, but what they don’t know is that they’re playing checkers and I’m playing chess," he said.

There you have it, B.J.  Kenny Florian is not impressed with your attempts at mind games.  Try again.  Or just get in the gym and prepare yourself to kick his ass over the course of five rounds.  Either one, though I hear the second option generally pays better.

(Looks like Thiago wants to make this one personal right away.)

While discussing the Quebec Athletic Commission’s new opposition to mixed martial arts (and potential blocking of UFC 97) on a Montreal sports-radio show, Dana White announced that the first building block seems to be in place for the UFC’s historic 100th pay-per-view event, which will go down this July in Las Vegas:

Though Thiago Alves wasn’t mentioned by name, it seems likely that the welterweight division’s #1 contender will not compete until he meets St. Pierre for the 170-pound strap. Adds FiveOuncesofPain:

Speaking of Quebec, Dana White will be meeting this week with the Régie des Alcools, des Courses et des Jeux — which governs alcohol, racing, gambling and combat sports in Quebec — to discuss what rules the UFC would have to follow to hold their scheduled April 19th event at Montreal’s Bell Centre. Let’s hope Dana’s patented F-bomb-laced bullying convinces the board to have a complete change of heart, or else it’s no UFC for you, Montreal.

(Plotting his next move…)

Someone please explain to me what has happened to B.J. Penn.  Did he suffer some sort of brain trauma in his fight with Georges St. Pierre?  Is he playing an elaborate practical joke on all of us, or does he just crave attention?

First Penn came out this week claiming that Kenny Florian, the man who will likely face Penn in the Octagon next (coincidence?), sent him an email before UFC 94 to tip him off about GSP’s greasing.  When Florian denied it, asking Penn to produce the email as proof, Penn changed his story completely.  In a video post to BJPenn.com yesterday, he claimed it was a text, not an email, and it was sent to a member of Penn’s camp, not Penn himself, and that it included charges of steroid use.  

I’m going to have to call shenanigans, as they say, and for several reasons.

From lookoutawhale, the crazy mofo who brought us Georges St. Pierre’s Punch-Out!! and Street Fighter II: GSP Riddum Revenge, comes this new GSP-themed remix, which features the cast of TUF 4 just hanging out and watching some game shows together. In the video, as in life, Georges St. Pierre is always the right answer. For more lookoutawhale insanity, check out this animated version of a guest appearance that St. Pierre did on the Adam Carolla Show, in which a caller basically accuses GSP of sodomizing him back in his club-bouncing days. Below: The first preview for a UFC superfight 14 years in the making. Thanks, Garv.

(When in doubt, knock him out: Fedor Emelianenko proved his status as the best in the world with his KO of Andrei Arlovski at Affliction’s "Day of Reckoning" event last month.) 

Ah, the pound-for-pound list — one of the most infuriating traditions in MMA punditry. Our sport has a wealth of dominant champions and brilliant contenders, but who would win an epic, all-inclusive grand prix, if every fighter (somehow, theoretically) were the same size? To put it as simply as possible, who is the most talented mixed martial artist in the world? And by what combination of win streaks, titles, victories over top-ranked opponents, and ability to finish fights does one measure "talent"? All good questions, dear reader. The list below is our effort to define MMA’s absolute top ten list, as things stand now in February 2009. Read on, and let us know how you feel in the comments section…

***

1: Fedor Emelianenko (29-1, 1 no contest)
Some might argue that naming a heavyweight as the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world sort of misses the point of the exercise. But at an even six feet tall (and a somewhat doughy 230 pounds), Emelianenko has never relied on size to win fights, and has beaten considerably larger opponents his entire career. Between his devastating punches and virtually undefendable armlocks, the Last Emperor can end a fight anywhere, at any time. And since the only loss on his record was due to a technicality — a cut stoppage due to an illegal elbow 17 seconds into a fight against Tsuyoshi Kohsaka, which he later avenged — Fedor has developed an aura of invincibility that has psyched out opponents before they even step into the ring with him.

But hey, maybe he really is invincible. Even when a fighter manages to briefly put Emelianenko in a bad spot (see esp. Kazuyuki Fujita in 2003, Mark Coleman in 2004, Andrei Arlovski in 2009), his tremendous instincts always rescue him from danger; Fedor on auto-pilot is better than most fighters on their best night. If he can put away a couple more top-ten heavyweights before he retires (while avoiding losses), his status as the greatest fighter of all time will be non-debatable.

2: Georges St. Pierre (18-2)

GSP’s demolition of BJ Penn at UFC 94 proved that when two extremely talented fighters face off, the big guy will usually beat the shit out of the little guy. That’s just reality — and it’s why we create pound-for-pound rankings in the first place. But the size and strength advantages that St. Pierre enjoyed in his most recent welterweight title defense shouldn’t take away from his inspiring performance. Easily one of the most athletic mixed martial artists in the world, GSP is also one of the most cerebral; his win over Penn was largely the result of a meticulous game-plan executed perfectly. Though we believe he’ll rule the UFC’s welterweight division for a long time, St. Pierre’s April 2007 upset loss to Matt Serra raised some questions about his chin and mental fortitude. With a little luck — and some more of his unstoppable wrestling — St. Pierre will continue to answer those questions in 2009.
Why he’s below Fedor: It’s possible that GSP is merely human. If he can have a bad day against Matt Serra, he can certainly have another one against an even better fighter in the future.

("He was better than me that night," says Kos about his loss to GSP.)

Josh Koscheck knows he’s not your favorite UFC fighter.  But you know something?  He doesn’t really care.  The way he sees it, his job is to fight, and win, as often as possible.  After a highlight reel knockout of Yoshiyuki Yoshida at the UFC’s “Fight for the Troops,” he looks to continue he winning streak at UFC 95 next Saturday against Octagon newcomer and undefeated Brazilian fighter Paulo Thiago.

In our exclusive interview, Koscheck discusses his next fight, his career, and what he makes of the Georges St. Pierre greasing allegations.

CagePotato.com: Thanks for talking with me Josh.  What do you know about your opponent on the 21st, Paulo Thiago?

I really don’t know anything about him.  To be honest with you, I don’t even know what he looks like.  I’ve never seen video on him, nothing.  For me, it’s a fight.  I expect to go in there and fight and just do what I do, which is win.

Is the reason you haven’t seen any video on him because you can’t find any, or because you don’t care to look?

I just don’t even care to look.  I don’t care to watch it.  I don’t watch video on any of my opponents.  For me it’s just another fight.  I fight tough guys every single day at the gym.  I got a couple guys in the top ten in the weight class, like Jon Fitch and Mike Swick, plus the other guys from other weight classes at our gym.  I’m just looking for another good fight.  I’m sure he’s a tough opponent, but he hasn’t fought in the UFC yet.  This will be his first opportunity to fight somebody really tough.

(Go ‘head and tell Matt Hughes he don’t know the difference between sweat and grease.  Wish a motherf*cker would.)

As sick as we all are about the Georges St. Pierre greasing allegations (and we are…seriously) Matt Hughes has more to say on the subject.  More accurately, he has the same thing to say about them as he said originally, he just wants you to know that he really meant it and wasn’t simply piling on for the hell of it.

On a post to his blog today Hughes wrote:

I usually don’t do this, but I will this time.  When I talk about a topic one week, it usually doesn’t get brought up again.  I think a lot of people need to go back and reread last week’s blog, including GSP.  At no point did I accuse Georges of putting grease on himself.  All I said was that he felt slick.  I’ve wrestled over a thousand matches, fought 50 opponents, all I’ve ever done in life is wrestle and compete with other people.  With all that experience, do you think I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between sweat and something else?  Last week when I got to Florida, I was in the elevator with Robbie, I said “Robbie did you hear about GSP?”  He said, “No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  I then said that BJ accused him of being slippery, Robbie looked right up at me and said, “That’s what you said after Anaheim.”  Also, I’ve had several people close to me around my town who have come up to me and said the same thing.  I’ve nothing against GSP, I even think he’s somewhat a likable guy.  Some people are trying to say that I’m making this personal and that’s just not true at all.  The reason I didn’t bring this up before was because I didn’t know there was anything to him being slick.  With all the other guys coming out and saying the same thing, I just wanted to be true to myself, and to everybody else, and say that there could be some validity there.  –matt

So, things we should take away from this latest missive…

(‘And to think, my parole officer said I’d never amount to anything.’)

Affliction co-founder Todd Beard has added another restraining order to his impressive resume. MMA Payout reports that the convicted felon/pregnant woman-puncher/elderly person-swindler Beard got into it with the CEO of Silver Star Casting, Luke Burrett, who then went out and got the restraining order (which can be viewed here) to stop Beard’s “harassment.”

If you’re not familiar with Silver Star, they make clothes that are very similar in douchieness to Affliction’s, only slightly more ‘consumer-friendly punk rock meets mall food court’ and less ‘appropriated symbols from other cultures meets skulls and shit,’ which is Affliction’s domain.  Silver Star also sponsors several MMA fighters (check out their comparatively cheap Rashad Evans t-shirt, for instance), and used to work together with Affliction until the companies had a dispute that led to Silver Star trying to make nice with the UFC.

Things supposedly got worse after UFC 94, which featured the man sponsored by both Affliction and Silver Star, Georges St. Pierre, who had previously been given permission by Affliction to wear Silver Star into the Octagon.  Preliminary reports indicate that no one outside the two companies noticed or gave a damn.  But leave it to Todd Beard to make an issue of it.  

That guy seems to know only one solution to every problem, and it involves threatening someone.  Should we be surprised that this is the kind of mind partly responsible for spawning Affliction?  We should not.  But hey, wait a minute, didn’t Beard supposedly resign from Affliction?  Maybe it’s just a coincidence that he’s now harassing the CEO of a company Affliction’s been having problems with lately.  Could be that was part of his normal, every day harassin’, and didn’t have anything to do with his business harassin’.  You gotta keep those separate, you know.

(Ah, the good old days…)

New rules regarding cornermen and the application of Vaseline will be on display at tonight’s UFC Fight Night 17, and they’re thought to be permanent.  If anybody doesn’t like it they have George St. Pierre’s crew to blame.  

MMA Weekly reports that the UFC has decreed “that cornermen associated with the fighters will no longer be allowed to handle the Vaseline used in between rounds to treat and prevent cuts.”  Instead, the UFC will provide a cut man to each corner, and he’ll be the only one allowed to apply Vaseline or work on a cut.  

Since only two people are allowed in the Octagon at a time, one of a fighter’s trainers has to stay out if they need the UFC-sanctioned cut man to do his work.  And since you pretty much always want to put Vaseline on your fighter’s face between rounds, the effect of this new rule will probably be to limit corners to one trainer inside the cage.

Two things on this new rule…

(It looks like GSP learned some of his moves from YouTube too…)

andrewm on "LubeGate Break: For the Sake of Your Sanity": I wish Vermont Teddy Bear Company would start promoting, just so i can hear Dana say, "those fuckin teddy bear guys."

CoconutSkin on "LubeGate Break: For the Sake of Your Sanity": Can we please stop calling it LubeGate, it just doesn’t roll off the tongue. I have found the solution (to more than just this problem) is LubriGate.
[Ed. note: You're right; that slips off the tongue like feet off of a greased-up French-Canadian's back.]

Kadumel on "Trainers Speak Out on St. Pierre Greasing Controversy": For someone with grease on his back, St. Pierre sure did punch BJ in the face a lot.

TUF Guy’s Dad on "Chiappetta: NSAC ‘Doesn’t Really Have a Leg to Stand On’…": Dammit son, you’re embarrassing me
[Ed. note: Thanks for trying to get him in line, TGD. We simply don't know what to do with the boy anymore...]

Alright fellas — send your names, addresses and t-shirt sizes to feedback@cagepotato.com and we’ll send you a CagePotato "Hall of Fame" tee pronto. By the way, if you haven’t won a shirt from one of these weekly giveaways yet, you probably never will, so you might as well just bite the bullet and buy one.

(Photo courtesy of Mark J. Rebilas.)

BJ Penn, now 0-2 against Georges St. Pierre, has accepted the UFC welterweight champ’s semi-sarcastic offer to fight for a third time this summer. (GSP: "This time we’ll wear a rash guard. I guarantee you the result will be the same or worse for him.") Here’s what Penn posted on his blog last night:

The boys from “MMA Live” break down UFC 94, which, of course, includes a thorough look at LubeGate (or as some of you would rather call it, LubriGate).  Franklin McNeil is quick to dismiss it as no big deal, but Kenny Florian makes mention of a “select few” who do make use of greasing agents.  It’s almost as if he has someone specific in mind.  Someone he’s personally faced, who was “slippery,” and who had also trained with one Georges St. Pierre at various points.  Hmmmm….

(Props: MMA Videos)

Internet conspiracy theorists/video editors comb through GSP’s body of work, so to speak, in order to find evidence of past greasing.  The Zapruder film it ain’t, but still worth a look.

(Photo courtesy of Mark J. Rebilas.)
 
For nearly two years, UFC 66 — which featured the light-heavyweight title bout between the organization’s two biggest stars, Chuck Liddell and Tito Ortiz — was the UFC’s best-selling pay-per-view card of all time, with an estimated 1,050,000 buys. Few UFC events even came close to the lofty record, until UFC 91 in November almost surpassed it on the strength of the Couture/Lesnar superfight, bringing in a reported 1,010,000 buys. A month later, the stacked-to-death "Ultimate 2008" card smashed the old record with 1,200,000 buys. And now, if Dana White is to be believed, last Saturday’s UFC 94 show has broken the record again, with an estimated 1,300,000+ pay-per-view buys. That figure even beats the 1,250,000 buys that the Oscar De La Hoya/Manny Pacquiao boxing match pulled down in December. 

Could the UFC be a recession-proof business, with a steadily growing base of consumers? Or are the killer numbers for St. Pierre vs. Penn 2 a direct result of the event’s marketing blitz, which included the flashy new documentary series UFC Primetime? And how long will this new record last? Though there are no bonafide superfights on the schedule right now, DW reminds us that we have Mir/Lesnar, Penn/Florian, Rashad Evans’s first title defense, and Randy Couture’s next fight coming up, so there’s no shortage of great matchups to be had. Meanwhile, the UFC’s competition is thrilled to get 150,000-200,000 buys, which just illustrates the gulf in success between the top MMA outfit in the world and everybody else.

Unfortunately, not all is rosy in the financial realm of Zuffa. Frank and Lorenzo Fertitta’s Station Casinos empire announced that it would be going through a "prepackaged bankruptcy" to avoid being crushed by the $2 billion in debts it accrued when the company went private in 2007. Station has been one of the hardest-hit casino groups during the current economic downturn, which has greatly affected Las Vegas’s tourism and real estate markets.

(Props: literally dozens of you)

Hey Potato Nation, how’s it going?  This greasing scandal got you down?  Yeah, it just keeps going, getting bigger and meaner every day.  Like that chick on “The View.”  We thought maybe we could cheer you up.  Here, look at this teddy bear, The 15” Ultimate Lover.  We’ll wait for your immature giggles to stop…  

He thinks you’re a knockout, and he even comes in a variety of different colors (we’re partial to the amethyst).  He’s made by the Vermont Teddy Bear Company, which, oddly enough, sponsors UFC Fight Night 17 participants Matt Grice and Josh Neer.  You remember Neer and his recent DUI, hit-and-run arrest.  Cuddly, no?  And this little guy is just $69.95.

Now that we think about it, maybe these people can even help put an end to LubeGate if only GSP would shell out for one of these…

(‘Okay…this is…way worse…than I…expected.’)

After deciding not to lodge a formal complaint against Georges St. Pierre and his cornermen over UFC 94’s greasing incident, B.J. Penn’s camp has sent a letter to the Nevada State Athletic Commission formally requesting an investigation, according to NBC Sports:

The letter was sent by Penn’s lawyer Raffi Nahabedian to Nevada state athletic commission executive director Keith Kizer. In the correspondence, which was given by the commission to NBCSports.com, Nahabedian states that the letter is not a formal complaint, but asks the commission to ensure that St. Pierre and his cornermen are "properly dealt with."

Consider this the Penn camp’s way of saying, ‘We don’t want to look like whiners complaining about this, but we don’t want to let GSP off the hook, either.’  And just when you were hoping this thing would die down and we could all move on to other topics.  Sorry.  This is only getting started.

On a related note, Dana White spoke with our friend MDS over at MMA Fanhouse about the incident, and summed it up thusly:

(‘An opportunity to criticize GSP, you say?  Count me in!’)

Well, LubeGate has officially run the gauntlet.  Matt Hughes is the latest former opponent of Georges St. Pierre to add fuel the greasy fire.  In a blog post to his website today, Hughes had this to say:

I’m not the only one who has said that GSP felt greasy during a fight. I know Matt Serra has mentioned it and, even in their first fight, I think BJ said something. I’m not saying GSP did something wrong and I’m not saying that it would have changed any outcomes of any fights; but what I am saying is, for my last two fights against Georges, he felt greasy.

Weird, he felt greasy in those last two fights?  As in, the two that Hughes lost?  Interesting.

Having more opponents jump on this bandwagon doesn’t help GSP’s case any, but what I’m wondering is, if he’s been greasing himself up for years why hasn’t he been caught before now?  The boys from the NSAC jumped all over him when they saw it at UFC 94.  How has he managed to apply Vaseline to his body in front of cameras and athletic commission observers for so long?  Is he taking a Vaseline supplement that makes it come out of his pores?  

(Noogie!)

The more Georges St. Pierre talks about his strategy for B.J. Penn, the more I’m struck by how scientific it sounds.  Usually when you hear fighters talk about their gameplan it’s vague classics like ‘push the pace’ or ‘take the fight to him.’  Basically, it’s stuff that is one step up from an inspirational slogan.

But GSP?  He practically steals your medical records in order to figure out how to beat you.  Just look at what he told SI.com about Penn’s physical strengths and weaknesses:

B.J. Penn, you were talking about his guard, he has very flexible legs. Another thing is, because he has very flexible hips, it made his thoracic cage more susceptible to being weak. That’s why I was working a lot of elbows to the body. On the ground I was putting my elbow in his stomach to make him tired. And a lot of knees. It was my game plan.

[…]

I know a lot of doctors. It’s a fact. When somebody has flexible hips, normally he has a weak thoracic cage. His bones are weaker. It’s science. And with B.J., that’s the case. He has very flexible hips, so his core is weaker than somebody who has normal hips. That’s why I was attacking the body a lot. People, when they fight B.J., they try to hit the head. But B.J. has very thick skin and he moves his head very well and his reaction time is very fast. He can move his head standing up, but his body never moves. I was targeting the body a lot.

As for allegations that he was greased up in the fight, GSP says he “cant’ believe” the Penn camp considered filing a formal complaint (though word now is that they’ve decided against it), that he’s not a cheater and will prove it in court if he has to, and also that it wasn’t any artificial substance that thwarted Penn’s high guard:

(Image courtesy of BloodyElbow) 

Despite rumors that BJ Penn was considering retirement directly before or after his brutal, slippery loss against Georges St. Pierre on Saturday, BJ Penn has updated his Facebook page with a message that he’ll "for sure" be facing Kenny Florian in his next fight, possibly in June. (This follows a previous Facebook comment where Penn wrote "gsp was a bit greased but that takes nothin away from him at all he was the better guy!") Florian last fought at UFC 91 in November, where he scored a first-round submission victory over Joe Stevenson. So, he’ll have to make a choice that’s now all-too-familiar — take a long layoff and wait for BJ to be ready in the summer, or risk his #1 contender status with another place-holder bout.

And just to keep you up to speed on "Lubegate"…

(With tailored suits like that he’s just as slick outside the Octagon.)

After an exhausting and entertaining UFC 94, we sat down with our Cage Potato Super Computer and churned out the arbitrary numerical data for the relevant parties.  It wasn’t easy, but dammit, it was necessary.

Georges St. Pierre +361

Whether you think he was greased up or not, he put a beating on B.J. Penn that can’t be explained away (Vaseline didn’t help him dodge jabs or score takedowns, after all).  He showed up in great shape, with a great game plan, and proceeded to do exactly what he said he would.  GSP is an absolute monster, and at just 27 years old he’ll dominate the division for the foreseeable future.  Good luck, Thiago Alves.  You’ll need it.

B.J. Penn -86

He’s still the best lightweight in the world.  Let’s hope this beating convinced him to stay in the division where he truly belongs.  If you’re going to be the smaller man in the fight, you’d better be more active and in better shape.  He was neither, and he paid the price.  Now give KenFlo his shot.

Vaseline + 590

To hear Penn’s trainers talk, you’d think it was a magical substance.  Just a dash and you become a guard-passing, ground-and-pounding machine.  We may find out how responsible it is for GSP’s success, because after this incident the athletic commissions will be watching closely, as will the UFC.

Props to the Las Vegas Sun, UFC.com, MMA Weekly, Combat Lifestyle, and MMA Fanhouse.

The most interesting part of this UFC 94 video blog comes at around the 9:50 mark, when Dana White becomes clearly upset over the Georges St. Pierre greasing incident and remarks, “Georges is in trouble.”  Well, maybe not Georges so much as the cornerman who rubbed him down, though I’m inclined to believe Greg Jackson’s explanation, and also inclined to agree with Dana’s assertion that a little Vaseline did not change the outcome of this fight, one way or another.  Still doesn’t make it a good idea, though.

Other moments worth seeing here: Dana consoles a distraught Stephan Bonnar, Joe Rogan and Eddie Bravo gush over Jon Jones, and Dana watches Akihiro Gono and his camp rehearse their elaborate Octagon entrance, which was truly a thing to behold.  When Gono and his boys walked out in those matching evening gowns, pausing every few steps to get their dance on, you could feel the crowd going through a range of emotions.  First came shock, then slight amusement, then genuine appreciation.  Honestly, it was the best entrance in the history of MMA.

In the post-fight press conference a reporter asked Dana what he thought of a guy who came out in drag and got his ass kicked.  Dana pointed out that a) a lot of people are going to get their ass kicked against Jon Fitch, and b) he loves Gono and what he brings to a UFC event.  Then he conceded: “But if you’re going to wear a dress you probably better win.”

I know some people will make the argument that Gono would have been better served focusing more time and energy on his preparation for the fight than on his entrance, but let’s be real.  Gono was going to get beat up with or without the awesome, cross-dressing entrance.  Might as well have some fun before the pain begins.

 
(Props: CagePotato reader Chris R.)

BJ Penn‘s trainer Rudy Valentino to InsideFighting (via Fightlinker):

St. Pierre‘s trainer Greg Jackson claims the back-greasing was completely unintentional, and was actually the result of another bizarre Jackson camp ritual. As he told MMA Weekly:

Dear Dana White, Lorenzo Fertitta, and Joe Silva:

It has come to our attention that UFC 100 will be held July 11th at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas. We, the undersigned, implore you to book a superfight between welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre and middleweight champion Anderson Silva as the main event. 

St. Pierre and Silva are both proud, humble champions who have proven their dominance in their individual weight classes. What better way to commemorate the evolution of the sport during the UFC’s historic 100th pay-per-view event than a bout between two of the most complete fighters that mixed martial arts has ever seen? St. Pierre vs. Silva would determine not only the best fighter in the UFC, but arguably the best fighter in the world as well. Would St. Pierre be able to control the middleweight champ with his takedowns and explosive athleticism, or would Silva’s laser-guided striking win the day? As UFC commentator Joe Rogan might say, how the fuck could you know?

Of course, a superfight between St. Pierre and Silva would be a huge economic boon to whatever city is fortunate enough to host it. According to an economic impact study pulled directly out of our own asses, UFC 100: St. Pierre vs. Silva would generate $187.3 million in tax and tourist revenue for Las Vegas, or $531.9 million for Montreal — most of it delivered via fierce “rain-making” sessions in Montreal’s many fine nude cabarets.

In closing, we urge you to arrange this historic match for UFC 100. Please don’t allow fight-booking to be dictated by sensible weight-class-based champion vs. challenger matchups, rather than what would make fans lose their shit the hardest.

Respectfully,

Fans and Supporters of Things That Kick So Much Fucking Ass

Show your support for our proposal in the comments section, and if you haven’t yet signed our real petition to get the MMA ban lifted in New York, please click here.

(Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

The UFC paid out a hearty $1,252,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses for yesterday’s UFC 94 event. The figures are below, courtesy of MMA Weekly. Keep in mind that these numbers don’t include any undisclosed "locker room bonuses" often given out to fighters for exciting performances, or cuts of the pay-per-view revenue, which Georges St. Pierre reportedly has in his new contract.

– Georges St. Pierre: $400,000 (includes $200,000 win bonus)
– Lyoto Machida $185,000 (includes $60,000 win bonus, $65,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
– B.J. Penn: $125,000
– Clay Guida $105,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus, $65,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Nate Diaz $85,000 (includes $65,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Karo Parisyan $80,000 (includes $40,000 win bonus)
– Chris Wilson $80,000 (includes $65,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– John Howard $71,000 (includes $3,000 win bonus, $65,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Jon Fitch $68,000 (includes $34,000 win bonus)
– Thiago Silva: $29,000

    
(GSP’s brilliant Superman-jab, and Jon Jones’ spinning elbow to the back of Stephan Bonnar’s head, which caused Joe Silva to freak the fuck out. Props to NbleSavage and Smoogy on the UG.) 

— Last night around 9 p.m. PT, the MGM Grand Garden Arena slipped through a cosmic wormhole and landed in Bizarro World. How else would you explain Lyoto Machida picking up UFC 94‘s "Knockout of the Night" bonus in one of the two fights that didn’t go to a decision? The Dragon earned an extra $65,000 for putting Thiago Silva‘s lights out at the very end of round 1. There were no submissions last night (unless you count BJ Penn quitting in his corner), so the UFC decided to hand out two sets of "Fight of the Night" bonuses instead. John Howard and Chris Wilson both earned $65k for their exciting undercard match, which UFC newcomer Howard won by split decision. Nate Diaz and Clay Guida also picked up bonuses for their classic striker vs. hugger battle that ended with Guida getting his hand raised in a Split D.

— The UFC announced that last night’s show drew 14,885 attendees for a live gate of approximately $4.3 million. If that gate figure is accurate, it would make UFC 94 the sixth-highest-grossing UFC event of all-time in terms of ticket revenue. 

— Though the show was short on thrilling stoppages, the fans certainly got their money’s worth when it came to total fight time. UFC 94′s eight decisions broke the previous record of six, held by UFC 33, Fight Night 4, Fight Night 7, UFC 76, UFC 87, UFC 89, and UFC 90. No previous UFC event has ever featured more than two split decisions — UFC 94 had five, a record that hopefully will never be broken.