Georges St. Pierre

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC via MMA Mania)

Man, don't you hate it when you're partying at Rehab, just minding your own business, and you see your next opponent by the pool and you need a bunch of hot bikini models to hold you back? Such is the concept behind one of the photoshoots in the UFC's new magazine (on newsstands now), and we have a feeling that Georges St. Pierre and Thiago Alves won't be complaining about this particular promotional assignment. To be honest, GSP doesn't seem too worked up during his staged run-in with Alves — he remains seated in his deck chair, and only requires one model to kind of half-heartedly restrain him — but the brief nipple tweak at 0:48-0:50 tells the real story: It's time for war, mon ami.

Speaking of the UFC's welterweight champ and #1 contender, these guys are seriously huge right now. During a UFC media conference call yesterday, Alves said he's walking around at 191-192 pounds, and could be as much as 195 pounds when he steps into the Octagon on July 11th. GSP currently weighs about 188-190 pounds, and expects to weigh the same on fight day. Said St. Pierre: "I truly believe that in our sport, skill and technique always beat strength and size, so the guy who will win the fight is the better fighter, not the bigger guy."

After the jump: Michael "GQ Smoov" Bisping and Dan "They Made Me Put On This Sweater" Henderson have a tense staredown of their own.

(Props: MMA Mania)

What: UFC 100
When/Where: July 11th at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas.
Why: Because it's one of the most stacked UFC cards ever. In the above trailer, Joe Rogan calls the event "fucking insane," then implies that Steve Mazzagatti screwed up Brock Lesnar's first fight against Frank Mir. For Brock, this fight is all about revenge. Mir thinks that if Big Nog couldn't last two rounds with him, Brock's chances aren't very good.

In the night's other title fight, Georges St. Pierre battles for his legacy against the biggest, strongest, toughest test of his career — Thiago Alves, who wants to knock out GSP, take his belt, and become "the man." Also, Dan Henderson and Michael Bisping move out of the reality show set and into the Octagon. Hendo wants to beat Bisping up and shut his mouth a little bit; Bisping wants to be responsible for the first KO loss on Dan's record. Only on pay-per-viewwww...

(The July issue, with a cover story written by one of Cage Potato's own.)

The first thing I learned about Thiago Alves when Fight! Magazine sent me down to south Florida to write this month’s cover story on the UFC’s top welterweight contender, is that is he doesn’t exactly have the same concept of time that most people do.   At first I was willing to chalk it up to “Brazilian time.”  Then I talked to some of his friends and training partners, who were also Brazilians, and even they thought Thiago had a problem.  To them it was a running joke.  Brazilian time gave way to “Thiago’s time.”  For me, the guy trying to learn as much as possible about him in only a few days, it was a little more stressful.

If you missed it, check out parts 1 and 2 of this series.

The Fedor Emelianenko Era: 3/03-present

Fedor’s dominance over MMA’s heavyweight division is such that, had he been born a few hundred years ago, they might have burned him for being a witch.  At least they might have tried, though he would certainly have armbarred the entire mob and then calmly collected their pitchforks.  Fedor is the rare fighter with devastating one-punch knockout power on the feet and deft submission skills off his back.  In other words, you are never really winning against Fedor; you’re just temporarily not losing. 

Fedor’s run through Pride’s heavyweight class was like Sherman’s March to the Sea, only much more efficient.  He beat everyone there was to beat and he did it convincingly.  His list of victims includes former UFC champs like Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arlovski, as well as Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, Mark Coleman, and even Hong Man Choi.  In fact, the only barrier to Fedor’s continued reign of terror is his own refusal to sign with the UFC, where more heavyweights are waiting to be conquered.  Will he ever cave in and do to the UFC’s big men what he did to Pride’s?  It’s doubtful, though until he loses you really can’t begrudge him the title of the world’s best heavyweight.

With UFC 2009 Undisputed an unqualified success both here and abroad, we won't be seeing five year gaps between UFC video games anymore. Dana White announced at last night's 2009 Video Game Awards on Spike that next year would see the release of UFC 2010 Undisputed — which gives THQ one year to add heel-hooks and gogoplatas to the game and figure out how to animate Clay Guida's hair. Of course, there should be a new crop of fighters in the 2010 edition as well. For those of you who have been furiously playing UFC 2009 Undisputed since its release, what other improvements would you like to see?

If you're curious, the video after the jump shows you how to construct Fedor Emelianenko in the game's "Create a Fighter" mode — though maybe he'll be an official playable character one of these years...