(“With all respect dued, Dana, *this* is our counter offer. Also, what does counter offer mean?”) 

Although both parties have since moved onto bigger, better things (if you happen to consider crushing cans for Invicta FC ”bigger” or “better”), MMA fans cannot seem to get over the botched negotiations between Cris Cyborg and Ronda Rousey that eventually led to the cancellation of what would have been the biggest fight in WMMA history at UFC 157. You know the story: Rousey was unwilling to even consider holding the fight at a catchweight, and it was physically impossible for Cyborg to make 135 pounds (or so we were told). Both fighters were left spinning their tires in the mud, that is, until Tito Ortiz showed up and everything really went to hell.

Cyborg was eventually released from her UFC contract, and Rousey went on to become the UFC’s first women’s champ, an influential and inspirational figure in female sports, and a universal sex symbol. So clearly, Tito Ortiz: Manager crushed another one out of the park. But if you were one of those fans who blamed Ortiz (and/or the rest of Cyborg’s Primetime 360 management team) for screwing things up in the first place, you should first turn your crosshairs on the people they were negotiating with. Because according to Ortiz’s Primetime 360 team partner, George Prajin, weight wasn’t even the issue, it was those damn Zuffa tightwads! MMAFighting’s Mike Chiappetta reports:

While (match weight) was at the center of most conversations in the media regarding the inability to make the Cyborg-Rousey fight, it was not the deal-breaker it’s been reported to be.

During the ongoing negotiations, which lingered for about two months, the promotion agreed to pay for the services of a dieting and nutrition consultant like Dolce. But there were other points that the two sides could not agree on.

The biggest issue, according to Cyborg’s management firm Primetime 360, was Zuffa treating Cyborg as a bit player rather than an event co-star.

(The face of pure French-Canadian evil. / Image coutesy of MMAWeekly)

By Nathan Smith

*SPOILER ALERT* Georges St. Pierre is guaranteed to lose his next big fight. He will finally meet an opponent that he can not out-wrestle for 25 minutes and his next foe will be able to trade punches with him at will. GSP will positively get his ass handed to him.  Sorry Johny Hendricks, you can stop reading now because this post has nothing to do with you.

The reigning UFC welterweight champion has been cast as a villain in the upcoming Captain America: The Winter Soldier due for release on April 4, 2014. St. Pierre will play the roll of Batroc the Leaper (aka Georges Batroc) and although I embrace my inner geek, I was never much of a comic book guy nor did I ever have a pube mustache or own a set of dice with more than six sides, so I think it would be best to let the Wikipedia link describe GSP’s character.

“Batroc has no superhuman abilities, but is in peak physical condition in every respect. He is an Olympic-level weightlifter and has extraordinary agility and reflexes. His leg muscles are particularly well developed enabling him to leap great distances equal to an Olympic athlete. He is an expert hand-to-hand combatant and specializes in savate (French-style kickboxing). He is also a skilled military tactician, having formerly been in the French Foreign Legion.

Batroc is also an experienced thief and smuggler, and can speak both French and English. Although, as a mercenary, he does not hesitate to perform any number of criminal acts for his clients, Batroc has, by his own rights, a strong sense of honor, and he will turn against any client whom he feels has unfairly deceived him into committing crimes to which he might not otherwise have agreed.”

(Photos via Paul Buceta, Sherdog)

By BG, cross-posted from Break.com

As the UFC’s first-ever female champion, Ronda Rousey is the biggest name in women’s MMA right now. In fact, Ronda’s popularity is growing so fast that former Strikeforce superstar Gina Carano — once known as “The Face of Women’s MMA” — is becoming a distant memory for many fans. But who really deserves to be called the Greatest Female MMA Fighter of All-Time? Let’s compare the ladies point-by-point and find out…

First and foremost, who’s hotter?
Blonde, fit, and attractive whether she’s smiling or scowling, Ronda Rousey is unquestionably one of the hottest female athletes on the planet. But Gina Carano isn’t just “hot for a fighter.” Her Hollywood-caliber looks have earned her mainstream movie roles, and some of her photo-shoots have been truly jaw-dropping. If you prefer your women to be curvy, Gina takes this one hands down.
Advantage: Gina

How did they get into fighting?
Ronda was born into it. Her mother was a judo world champion, training Ronda from an early age to follow in her footsteps. (“She would wake me up from sleep to do armbars,” Ronda explained.) At 17, Rousey qualified for the 2004 Olympic Games, and won a bronze medal at the 2008 Games in Beijing, becoming the first American woman to earn an Olympic medal in women’s judo.

As for Gina? Her ex-boyfriend’s Muay Thai instructor told her she looked fat when he first met her, which inspired her to take up the sport herself and get in shape. She eventually started competing in Muay Thai, putting together a record of 12-1-1 — which is impressive, but not Olympic Medal impressive.
Advantage: Ronda

To see how Ronda and Gina stack up in five more categories — including MMA accomplishments and GIF-related awesomeness — click here to continue reading this post on Break.com…

(“Dwayne, you wouldn’t understand what it’s like to go back to a sport that has been consumed by PED usa…you know what, nevermind.”) 

I was shocked to come to the realization that the first Fast and the Furious movie came out when I was only 11 years old. I vividly recall that a friend of mine started quoting the film like it was scripture in the weeks that followed. “It doesn’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile,” he would say whilst aimlessly staring out the nearest window, presumably dreaming of a life that involved less social studies and more drifting. We stopped speaking shortly thereafter.

All I’m saying is, my former friend must have been onto something, because here we are some 12 years later discussing the upcoming release of the sixth film thus far in the franchise. And while the extended trailer for Fast and the Furious 6 is almost unidentifiable from the trailers for any of the other films, it does contain some footage of Gina Carano that was sadly cut from the trailer during its Super Bowl spot. Mainly, this kind of stuff (gif courtesy of Fightlinker):

Somebody just went from six to midnight.

Trailer after the jump. 

(Because of its needlessly tall dimensions — you’ll see — we’ve placed the video after the jump.)

Because it has been over three years since Gina Carano has fought, we don’t hear from the former “Face of Women’s MMA” as often as we’d like to, but the fighter-turned-actress was in New Orleans for the Super Bowl over the weekend, and filmed a rare interview with SB Nation in which she tried to clear up whether or not she is actually retired from MMA and what she thinks about the elusive Ronda Rousey vs. “Cyborg” Santos mega-bout.

On being called a current fighter, Carano drew an important distinction. “I haven’t fought in three years and right now I’m focusing on films…that’s what my focus is,” she explained. “I think that if your focus is fighting, then you’re a fighter and that’s not my focus right now.”

“Conviction” wouldn’t close the door on her ever fighting again, however. “You can’t say that.”

“I wake up every morning and I surprise myself. I wake up to a new me. I still train.”

She last sparred about two weeks ago, in fact, and “felt really good.”

Carano went on to say that Rousey deserves the hype and attention, and also called shenanigans on Santos claim that she’d be facing certain death if she were to cut down to 135 pounds — the prerequisite for her fighting Rousey, according to UFC President Dana White. Carano doesn’t believe that Uncle Dana is being unfair to “Cyborg” by making the former 145 pound champ drop down to 135 in order to fight in the UFC and, potentially, against Rousey.

“I don’t think so…she made it down there a lot easier than I made it down there. That’s for Cyborg to figure out,” Gina said.

(Superman: Quite an upgrade from Kit Cope. / Photo courtesy of Wenn via EntertainmentWise. Lots more photos of the new Hollywood power couple are after the jump.)

Disclaimer: Posting stuff like this makes us feel about as dirty as posting that other thing, but in a completely different way. Yes, this is gossipy tabloid bullshit not worthy of the ePaper it’s ePrinted on — but you can’t look me in the eye and say you’re no longer interested in Gina Carano, her rumored love life, or how she looks when she’s dolled up for a night on the town. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. Search your heart. You know it to be true. Here’s UsMagazine with the story:

Gina Carano had a hunk on her arm at the 18th Annual Critics’ Choice Movie Awards in Santa Monica, Calif., Jan. 10. The 30-year-old actress, who was nominated for Best Actress in an Action Movie for Hawyire, walked down the red carpet with Man of Steel’s leading man, Henry Cavill, 29. Carano (in Roland Mouret) and Cavill (in Tom Ford) stayed by each other’s side throughout the evening.

According to Just Jared, the two have been spotted together multiple times within the past few months. E! News reports the former MMA fighter and the Immortals actor began dating in September 2012…Carano is rumored to be making a surprise appearance as Wonder Woman in Cavill’s new film, Man of Steel. The movie hits theaters on June 14, 2013.

As we previously reported, Gina Carano will also be appearing in the upcoming Fast & Furious 6, and might be in that Lady Expendables thing.

(You see, kids, this is why we don’t break the fourth rule of Project Mayhem. Photo via Complex)

By Jason Moles

As is customary, nay tradition, around these parts, we’re hitting the eggnog early and often this week — thus, the obligatory Top 10 list to close out another year in the world of mixed martial arts. It’s not all fluff, though: Last year we predicted a champion would test positive for a banned substance and Brock Lesnar would retire. Not bad, huh? So grab a seat while we break out the crystal ball and see what 2013 has in store for us.

1.) Showtime stays in the MMA biz, will announce deal with Invicta FC and others.

MMA is just too popular to completely wash your hands of. Showtime may finally be done with Strikeforce, but that only means they’re now free to partner up with the likes of all-female Invicta FC or the World Series of Fighting, both of which could be looking for more permanent homes after their early success in 2012. Don’t let the Invicta PPV news fool you; they can’t win that battle. No matter who inks the deal, expect Showtime to counter-program at least one UFC event.

2.) A Ronda Rousey loss brings about the swift execution of women’s MMA in the UFC.

(We could have found a more pertinent photo but are you really going to complain?)

Amidst all the UFC 154 talk and Anderson Silva vs. GSP superfight speculation, UFC President Dana White took some time to discuss the UFC’s newest superstar, Ronda Rousey. The good news is that White says Ronda is now officially the UFC’s first female world champion, at 135 pounds.

Just as when the UFC absorbed WEC fighters after dissolving the organization and champions from divisions that previously had not existed in the UFC  automatically became champs in their new homes, Ronda’s Strikeforce belt will be turned into a brand spanking new one. This is what happened with Dominick Cruz and Jose Aldo and now Rousey makes more history as the first ever female UFC champ.

The bad news, according to MMA Junkie that has the story from Montreal, is that right now White only has plans to have one female weight division – Ronda’s 135 pound one. Is anyone even thinking of poor, suspended and stripped former champion Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos?

The former Strikeforce 145 pound champ recently announced that her crack team of doctors said it would be utterly impossible for her to safely move down a weight class. Surely they considered the possibility of Santos cycling her steroid usage differently in order to become slightly less muscle-bound and, thus, lighter in coming up with their opinions.

In any case, White doesn’t seem to be buying Santos’ public stance that, A. she does want to fight Rousey and B. that there is no way she could safely drop ten pounds. White only has plans for a 135 pound female division and if ‘Cyborg’ wants in the UFC she’ll have to drop down to there.

“We’re bringing in the 135-pound division,” White said. “I’m trying this whole women’s thing out. Obviously, Ronda is the champ. I think Ronda has the potential to be a big star. She’s already getting media that we’ve never even gotten before, and she’s never even set foot in the UFC yet. That’s the division that we’re bringing in. We’re bringing in the 135-pound division.”

Uncle Dana also clearly thinks that the mean lady who took Gina Carano away from us is scared of Rousey, homie. “Our matchmakers have talked to their camp, and she doesn’t seem too excited to fight Ronda,” White said.

(This belt means as much as the one Carlos Condit is carrying around. It’s funny how that works.)

By Jason Moles

In what comes as absolutely no surprise to anyone with a double-digit I.Q. or higher, Strikeforce will reportedly put the final nail in the coffin after their next event, which is currently scheduled for January 2013. Like any good friend, we tried to talk them out of their appointment with Dr. Kevorkian. Sadly, our friend just could not be reasoned with, leaving us no other options — we have to prepare for the funeral.

Here at CagePotato HQ (read: my desk at work when the boss is in the crapper), we feel it only necessary to start writing the eulogy now, while the memories are still vivid, in an attempt to bring comfort to the grieving family and friends when the time comes. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we, and look back fondly at the most memorable moments in Strikeforce’s storied mixed martial arts history.

Frank Shamrock Gets a Friendly Stockton Greeting From Nick Diaz

In the spring of 2009, Strikeforce served up a hot matchup between former UFC champion and MMA legend Frank Shamrock and the future Strikeforce Welterweight champion and world-renowned trash talker Nick Diaz. As you can glean from the above photo and the ensuing nut grab you can see on YouTube at roughly the 3:23 mark, these two were about as cordial as a Kentucky Derby winner who had just spotted Alistair Overeem waiting in the stable with a knife and fork.

The remarkable thing about the whole ordeal was that Diaz remained true to himself at the risk of coming across as a disrespectful punk, not willing to play nice simply to placate other people, even if they did sign his paycheck. In all of the press conferences that have been held over the years, fighters have generally been pretty calm and polite — so much so that you have to wonder if they realize that the guy they’re shaking hands with is the same guy who’s getting paid to cave his face in come fight night. Not the Stockton, Calif. native, though, whoe’s about as subtle as he is media friendly. You’ll never have to guess what the Cesar Gracie product is thinking. This classic photo by Esther Lin is a reminder of just that.

(Does this look like the face of a man who is going to lose?…Probably. / Photo courtesy of Francis Specker)

By Josh Hutchinson

Well Potato Heads, we are staring down the barrel of what would on paper seem like another absurd mismatch for a PPV main event. (Speaking of which, is it just me or does it seem like freak show fights are making a comeback?) Now I could sit here and try to persuade you that this is a legitimate match-up, Stephan Bonnar totally has a chance, Anderson Silva’s heart is not in it, or some equally stupid defense as to why this fight needs to happen, but I like all of you far too much to insult your intelligence like that. For Christ’s sake, even the UFC’s official promo videos for UFC 153 are split between joking that Bonnar has no chance and not showing Bonnar at all, if that tells you anything. So instead I’m going to take a hypothetical look at what could happen if The American Psycho manages to pull off the unbelievable. Because let’s be honest, if it happens, the fallout will be of nuclear proportions. For instance…

Stephen Bonnar, The New Face of Burger King

Should Bonnar prevail, his stock will rise exponentially with sponsors. A miraculous victory over Silva would have Nike, Burger King, and many others reconsidering the amount of support and money that they have thrown at The Spider. At the same time, it would then be easy to spin Bonnar as a legend killer — and therefore a legend himself — and he can be sure to expect a few more 0’s on his future paychecks. To this point, BK has kept their Anderson commercials in Brazil, since American audiences apparently wouldn’t be able to handle a cage-fighting burger pitchman. Bonnar, with his good-guy-everyman image, could break through that wall. New commercial concept: Bonnar and Forrest Griffin get into a furious Stacker-eating contest that leaves both men exhausted, and the other restaurant patrons howling for a rematch.

Anderson Silva pulls a Gina Carano

(With her continued film success, we may never get to see Gina weigh in for a fight again. Alas…)

Former MMA champ Gina Carano has been tied to yet another Hollywood major motion picture, according to Variety:

As ‘Haywire’ star Gina Carano continues to establish herself as an action heroine with an upcoming turn in ‘The Fast and the Furious 6,’ the former MMA fighter has become attached to topline an all-female riff on ‘The Expendables.’

And you thought you were turned on by watching the original Expendables flicks, nation. We can get behind this project for sure.

We don’t know much else about the film yet but Adi Shankar, who produced The Grey, Dredd 3D and Brad Pitt’s new mobster movie, Killing Them Softly, is going to be producing it.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to make a movie that is supposed to be the female version of ‘The Expendables’ without Gina Carano in it,” Shankar was reported as saying. “It would be like making Twix without caramel or Jamba Juice without jamba.”

Yeah, those are two really weird examples to use as analogies but we’re excited to see Carano in anything that involves her kicking ass in very little or at least tight clothing.

(‘Here Comes the Boom’ trailer, via FilmsActuTrailers. It’s basically like Warrior, but with barf.)

Kevin James has been one of the UFC’s most visible celebrity fans, and he clearly called in a few favors for his upcoming MMA comedy, Here Comes the Boom. The movie centers on a 40-something science teacher who turns to cage-fighting to raise money for his school, and features our hero Bas Rutten in a supporting role, as well as cameos from Jason Miller, Krzysztof Soszynski, Joe Rogan, and Bruce Buffer. With Boom slated to hit theaters on October 12th, we decided to round up a bunch of our favorite MMA fighter movie cameos. And as you’ll see, they’re usually not hired for their acting ability…

Movie: Blood and Bone (2009)
Fighter: Gina Carano

You know, it’s nice to see women entering the world of underground illegal fighting rings. Before she was Mallory Kane, Gina Carano got her feet wet in the movie business as a badass female street-fighter. Later, she asks Michael Jai White to call her, maybe.

(Is there anything that Nick Newell can’t do? NO EYE CONTACT! Props: TheRealClayHenry via Karmaatemycat)

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- Sarah Kaufman Training Camp Journal [VIDEO] (MMAFighting)

- The Rock and Gina Carano on the Set of ‘Fast 6′ (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

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- The Six Saddest Places Penises Have Had to Be Freed From (HolyTaco)

(No, this is not the ‘All Access’ video, but rather a behind-the-scenes video of her ESPN ‘The Body’ shoot. Go ahead and complain. I DARE YOU.)

“Everything you need in a fighter, she has, yet she’s a woman and she’s beautiful. The Ronda Rousey package is different than any other package we’ve ever seen.”

So says UFC President Dana White as he leads us into Showtime’s “All Access” look at the Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion, Olympic Judo bronze medalist, and occasional TMZ host Ronda Rousey, who in just over two years has managed to almost effortlessly ascend to the sport’s highest level. And it’s hard to deny that “Rowdy” is an athlete unlike many, if not all of her counterparts — a hot female Jon Jones if you will — whose “kill or be killed” outlook on life (and aforementioned looks) has led her to achieve massive success in easily the most overlooked facet of MMA. We’re talking of course, about the ladies.

Detailing everything from Rousey’s heated title-earning feud with Meisha Tate (Spoiler: It ended like all of Rousey’s fights do) to her (gulp) nude shoot for ESPN’s The Body issue to her preparation for her upcoming title defense against Sarah Kaufman, “All Access” truly lives up to it’s name. Showtime takes us inside the champion’s house, which looks like an average episode of Hoarders, and snags interviews with everyone from Gina Carano, who Ronda admits convinced her to drop trau for ESPN in the first place (as if we needed to thank Gina for anything else) to former HooknShoot Grand Prix winner Julie Kedzie.

So check out the full video after the jump, and let us know what you think.

(For Christ’s sake, just kiss and make up already!) 

Who saw this coming? Hint: everybody.

Ever since the photos of Ronda Rousey’s nude pictorial for the second edition of ESPN’s “The Body” issue were released, a moment that was responsible for more cases of sudden onset carpal tunnel syndrome than the day Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee’s sex tape was “stolen” from their home, the Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champ has come under a bit of fire from some of her critics. While many of us passed it off as a classic case of “angry troll is angry,” it was hard to look past the fact that most of the criticism was a result of former claims made by none other than Rousey herself. Most notably, Rousey’s statements that Miesha Tate should be ashamed for taking pictures that showed off her pristine hind end and what her future kids would think and blah blah blah. Rousey also ripped on a few selective ring girls who shall remain nameless for posing in Playboy magazine, a.k.a the glove into which Evil slips its hand.

Of course, “Rowdy’s” previous statements came back and bit her right in her glorious ass when her own nude photos were released. Her confusing diatribe aimed at Kim Kardashian, in which Rousey stated that she had the right to pose nude because she was a role model and Kim didn’t because she only became famous for getting naked and Skechers shoes and 13 year-olds and something or other who cares, surely didn’t help matters. Ronda even willingly appeared on the television frequency at which human scum resides, TMZ, to lay into Kardashian, a move that we feel may have just evened the scales between the two in terms of attention whoring.

But at the end of the day, we were grateful that Ronda used whatever justification she needed to get naked for us, and thought the rest of the world should think the same. One person who clearly didn’t agree with us was the woman Rousey defeated for the bantamweight championship just a couple months ago, Miesha Tate, who recently let Ronda have it over Twitter.

Those comments are after the jump. 

(I got winner.)

Today on the CagePotato Roundtable, we’re taking a trip through the magical world of make-believe! Which MMA fighter would you scrap with if reality was no object? Would it be a hated heel? A personal idol? An undersized Japanese lady who you might actually have a puncher’s chance against? Joining us this week is Vince Mancini, the esteemed editor of FilmDrunk.com and occasional CP commenter. Follow his shit @FilmDrunk, and if you have a topic idea for a future Roundtable column, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

Chris Colemon

Saying that I could fight any MMA fighter implies that I also have the option not to do so, and I would exercise that option. You see, I’m what scientists call “a pussy.” I don’t like my chances in a scrap against anyone, trained or not. In that way I’m kind of like the anti-Krazy Horse: I’ll back down from men, women, children, retarded people…

But if I had to throw down with an MMA fighter of my choosing, it’s going to be Bob Sapp, all day. The reasons are plentiful. As stated earlier, any trained fighter is going to wreck me, badly, so I’m certainly not going to pick someone smaller than me or a female — why give my detractors [friends] more to mock? No, I’m going to pick an intimidating juggernaut, and few fit that bill better than Bob Sapp. If I lose the fight — which is pretty much the only possibility — non-MMA fans [again, my friends] will look at pictures of him, then back at my unimposing frame, and accept the loss as a forgone conclusion while giving me eternal props for climbing into the cage with such a monstrosity.

Actual MMA fans tuning into the fight will already be expecting to see someone turtle-up and play dead before the first punch connects, so they won’t be disappointed if I take a page out of “The Beast’s” own playbook and hit the canvas prematurely. All of Sapp’s recent battles have been farces, so at least no one will be expecting a real fight; I’d hate to disappoint the crowd.

(Just marvel at it.) 

Gentlemen, rejoice. It’s been a while since we’ve reported on the lovely Ms. Gina Carano, mainly due to the fact that she’s never coming back to us, and we’re incredibly bitter about it. But be that as it may, we wish Gina the best of luck on her newly chosen path, and despite the fact that next to none of you were devoted enough fans to catch her big screen debut last January, it appears that “Conviction” already has another role in a major film lined up. As we have come to understand, anytime Gina is placed in front of a camera is reason enough to celebrate, and her next project is sure to drag mindless, movie-going audiences in by the droves.

Check out the full scoop after the jump, along with a completely unrelated video that will surely brighten your afternoon. 

(“Stick with me, kid, I’ll make you an action star on the Hallmark Channel.”)

Well it looks like one glowing reference Urijah Faber will have on his resume when he starts applying for acting gigs will be from Rosie O’Donnell, which could go a long way if they’re looking to cast a teenage Bam Bam for Flintstones III.

The former WEC champ appeared on Rosie’s show on the Oprah Winfrey Network recently and the actress gushed over him, telling Faber that he has a bright future in movies.

“I wouldn’t want you to [be fighting when you're in your 40s] either, honey, because you’re too charismatic and you’re too kind of… I think you’re going to have a career like ‘The Rock.’ I think you transfer over to showbiz and you could have a full career in movies with karate where you’re the superhero-like kind of guy.”

Just a friendly reminder for you to set your PVR for 9:00 p.m. ET tonight so you don’t miss the acclaimed two-hour Bruce Lee documentary SPIKE TV is airing.

The film, “I Am Bruce Lee,” is a theatrical release currently playing in select theatres in Australia, the U.S. and Canada this month, and by all accounts it’s definitely worth watching, especially if you’re a fan of the late great martial artist and actor’s work.

(Yeah MMA made her a household name, but Hollywood magic made her a size 4.)

According to The Hollywood Reporter, female fighter and thespian Gina Carano has signed on for her second leading film role for the upcoming John Stockwell-directed thriller, “In the Blood,” which will likely mean that a return to MMA is not in the cards for the 29-year-old Strikeforce and EliteXC veteran.

“In The Blood” will begin production in Puerto Rico in the spring. The film is scripted by Dumb and Dumber’s Bennett Yellin and James Robert Johnston. Actor-turned-director Stockwell is best known for his work on Cheaters, Crazy/Beautiful, Blue Crush, Into the Blue, Turistas, and Heart.

So Ronda Rousey was on some program called Attack of the Show the other night, and the first thing we gotta say is daaaaaaammmnnnn. We’ve been hearing blasphemous claims of Ronda being a 5 at best around here as of late, and it’s time to squash this beef. Anyone who claims this woman is below a 7 must either email us a photo of their current or previous girlfriend, or send one to our Twitter or Facebook page. Otherwise…LIFETIME BAN.

Now that we’ve moved past her body, perhaps we can discuss her mind, as it is beginning to look like the witty, boisterous apparition that once inhabited Chael Sonnen has chosen Ronda as its next victim. Rousey, despite never fighting at bantamweight, is currently listed as a 4-to-1 favorite over current champ Meisha Tate, and the hype might just be getting to her head. When asked on how dangerous she saw herself, Rousey responded:

I think I am the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet. [Looks to audience] I could literally kill every single person in this room with my bare hands if I had them one at a time. I wouldn’t do that, but I’m just saying, I could do it. 

(Kung Fu Panda, seen here at the Haywire premier. Just kidding Gina, you know we love you. Seriously, we fucking love you.) 

You see, Potato Nation? This is why we can’t have nice things. Continuing the decades-old trend of movie going audiences and critics having the exact opposite opinion of what correlates a decent film, the Gina Carano starring, Steven Soderbergh directed action thriller Haywire opened with a measly 9 million dollars. This, in a weekend that saw Underworld: Rise and Fall of Vamipirous Werewolves 3:The Awakening’s Resolution take in over 25 million and Marky Mark Action Movie #346 take in over 12 million.

Now, it is a well known fact that most movie studios save their biggest cinematic turds for January (this is the month that brought us Season of the Witch, people), but this has to be a disheartening, if not foreboding sign to Gina Carano 2.0, or whatever we refer to her as now that she isn’t actually fighting MMA anymore. Is it too early to write her off? Of course; that moment will come after one of us manages to get off our lazy asses and check out the movie. Shit, I still haven’t seen Warrior, and I watch a disturbing amount of movies.

As you’ve already heard, the critics thus far have praised Haywire for its stripped down feel and intense pace, scoring it an 82% on the Tomatometer. Audiences, on the other hand, have unanimously trounced Haywire, giving it a D+ on Cinemascore. These are the same audiences, mind you, that gave Transformers: Baygasm an A.

[*Pours first glass of scotch for the day.*] 

(Video courtesy of MSN/Fox)

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(Photo via Zimbio. And yes, this is another rip-off of a much-better article. Deal with it.)

By Ben Goldstein

Tomorrow marks the long-delayed theatrical release of Haywire, a movie we’ve been huffing and puffing about since 2009. Obviously, the only reason we care about this film is because of its lead actress, Gina Carano. If you’re a regular reader of CagePotato.com — or any MMA site for that matter — you’re already fully aware of who Gina Carano is. But maybe you’re here by accident, or because you found one of our articles while looking for information on the movie. (And if that’s the case, we welcome you. Some of our most loyal readers came to us through random late-night searches for “How do I get traps like Tom Hardy in Warrior?“)

At any rate, you may be wondering, “Who is this mysterious brunette with the gravelly voice? And why haven’t I heard of her before?” Great questions, my new friend. Let’s run it down…

Who is Gina Carano?
Gina Carano is a Muay Thai kickboxer turned MMA fighter turned actress. She also did a stint as an American Gladiator in 2008, where she was feared for her brutality towards old people. And now she’s starring in an action flick called Haywire, in which she plays Mallory Kane, a super-spy betrayed by her own team. The movie hits theaters on Friday.

Has she been in other movies before this one?
Technically, yes. In 2009, she appeared in a low-budget street-fighting movie called Blood and Bone, along with Michael Jai White, Kimbo Slice, and Bob Sapp. Other than that, Gina’s entertainment resume is limited to video games and reality shows.

So how did an athlete with virtually zero movie experience get cast in the lead role of a prominent action movie?

(“I’d like you to go in there and switch outfits with Ewan. And that’s not a suggestion if you ever want to work in Hollywood again.”)

We had some somewhat hilarious (and many, many more not so hilarious) entries in last week’s Haywire caption contest, but unfortunately for everyone else who wanted a shirt with a picture of Gina Carano choking out Michael Fassbender on it, there can only be one winner.

First, let’s take a look at our runners up, who win nothing but the satisfaction of knowing they made someone nearly laugh kinda smile with something they posted on the Internet.

Here are some of our *other* favorites in no particular order:

Kid Clam Curtains:
Steven: “…so you combine the two words and you get the term ‘gunt’.”
.
Gina: “Haha NOW it makes sense.”
.
Ewan: “Wait, I still don’t get it.”

Tyr:
Ewan McGregor: “Ooohhh you beat up people for a living, i thought you said beat off…. Well this is awkward.”

NomadRip:
Soderbergh: “Seriously. That guy that just left. Paxton or Pullman? I have no idea.”

scottdy:
“You realize I could kill you and the chick with the scarf in the blink of any eye?”

shatterproof:
Gina Carano and Ewan McGregor meet a young jewish boy riddled with cancer. Another wish fulfilled.

Check out the winner after the jump.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/opieradio)

It’s funny, the Gina Carano real doll we bought Ben for Christmas says the same three phrases Gina said to morning radio crash test dummy Jim Norton before choking him out on today’s episode of The Opie and Anthony Show.

“I’m just gonna squeeze your throat real quick. I love that I have heels on. It makes it so much easier.”

The difference is, the doll doesn’t make you look like Marty Feldman… or maybe it does, in which case, forget we mentioned it.

(Oh, Ronda, you really might want to consider keeping that beautiful mouth shut for a while.) 

Ronda Rousey is a dead woman walking, ladies and gentlemen. In the midst of preparing for her title shot against newly crowned Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion Meisha Tate, you’d think the Olympic Judoka’s focus would remain solely on the tassk at hand. But apparently Ms. Rousey is taking a book out of Chael Sonnen’s chapter, as she is stirring up some serious shit with former Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Cristiane Santos.

It all began when “Cyborg” tested positive for steroids in the wake of her 16 second victory over Hiroko Yamanaka, which gave Ronda all the ammunition she needed to lob a hell storm of insults at the former champ. But Cyborg, who was somehow able to find a working computer WITH internet access in Brazil, recently tweeted the following photo as a warning to Rousey:

For those of you who don’t speak Goldbergian Japanese, Cyborg’s tweet reads: Next victim…Ronda!! No mercy!!

Now, where that tweet would have been enough to make most of us kiss our loved ones goodbye and flee the country in fear, it only fueled the fire for Rousey, who responded:

(Video courtesy of YouTube/InsideMMA)

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(“Avehay ouyay eensay atwhay wanehay is earingway?” “I owknay. I inkthay atthay is ymay arfscay.” “Guys, I know pig latin. And Gina, you can have your scarf back after the premiere.”)

The fine folks at Relativity Media have generously offered us a Haywire prize-pack to give away to one lucky reader who comes up with the best caption for the photo above.

The rules are simple: post your best (or worst) subtitle for the candid shot of Gina Carano, Ewan McGregor and Steven Soderbergh  above from last week’s premiere for the film in the comment section by 6:00 pm ET today for your chance to take home some swag from the movie including a Haywire t-shirt, bracelet and mini-poster. One entry per reader. The winner will be announced Monday.

(I’m only posting this photo because Bill Paxton is one of the greatest American character actors of the last 30 years. That’s Bill Paxton, right? Or is it Bill Pullman. I can never keep those two straight. Anyway, daaaaaamn.)

While reporting on the New York premiere of Haywire for Fightlinker, author Matthew Polly landed a one-on-one interview with star Gina Carano, in which he got Gina to confirm what we all suspected — that you’re not hearing her actual voice in the film:

POLLY: [W]hen I was listening to the movie your voice sounded a little different to me. I know this has been brought up in other media outlets but I didn’t know if they tweaked the sound or that’s just how it came out in the movie.

GINA: Yeah absolutely and I’m surprised that hasn’t come up sooner. Stephen Soderberg wanted Mallory Kane [the character she plays in the movie] to be a completely different entity than Gina Carano. So he definitely went in and I went in to AVR and he did some tweaking. We all knew that that was going to come up because people know me so well in the MMA world. But he is quite a genius in what he has created and it still was an honor to be a part of it.