Sure, it’s a hacky concept that you’ve probably seen before on an MMA forum, but we haven’t weighed in on it yet. Plus, Fighthype recently put together a list on the same theme that really sent us over the edge. (Lyoto Machida and Evan Tanner made their list, among other jacked and crazy-looking sonsabitches.) So without further ado, here are the fighters we wouldn’t mind coming across in a dark alley. Keep in mind that placement on this list is no judgment on their abilities as fighters, just on the fact that they look better suited to customer service or fast food restaurant management than cage fighting. Happy Friday.

***

9. Luke Cummo

8. Emmanuel Yarborough

7. Fedor Emelianenko and Wanderlei Silva (only when in drag)

(“I’m not a little girl by any means.”)

The hordes of screaming Gina “Crush” Carano fans who tune into the premiere of CBS’s “Saturday Night Fights” this weekend to see EliteXC’s poster girl kick some ass might be in for a seriously rude awakening. Carano’s opponent for the co-featured bout is Kaitlin Young, a 21-year-old Minnesota Martial Arts Academy product who famously knocked out three women in a one-night HOOKnSHOOT tournament last November; the combined fight time was just one minute and 45 seconds. We gave Kaitlin a call last night to ask her about rolling with dudes, the advantages she’ll have in her fight against Carano, and her shitty ’91 Honda Accord.

***

CAGEPOTATO: We recently posted the video of your “Caveman Training” at Athletic Performance Incorporated. Be honest — they took they engine out of that pickup truck you were pulling, right?
KAITLIN YOUNG: No, everything was as-is, just as it came from the factory. Honestly, it’s not as hard as it looks. The wheelbarrow is the real killer.

When did you know you wanted to be a competitive fighter?
It’s really all I ever wanted to do. I did Olympic-style Tae Kwon Do starting when I was 14, and I’ve enjoyed the fighting arts ever since then.

Are there enough women at Minnesota Martial Arts Academy to spar and roll with, or do you usually have to train with the guys?
There are a couple of other girls, but it’s mostly guys that I’m training with at this point. Greg Nelson and Tom Schmitz help me a lot. My boyfriend Ryan Murray is a big heavyweight pro Thai boxer, so he helps me with striking and pads, and some of the wrestlers from the University of Minnesota have been working with me too.

What else do you do when you’re not training for a fight?
This semester I was a full-time student at the University of Minnesota, studying kinesiology — exercise science, which kinda fits in — and I also do a bit of strength and conditioning coaching on the side at API.

You took your first pro loss in February, against Sara Schneider at a BodogFight event. What do you think went wrong?
She did a good job executing her game plan, so I don’t want to take anything away from her, but I think I made the mistake of following a good grappler to the ground when I’m a striker. I was winning pretty decisively on the feet, and I tried to pound her out and got caught in an armbar.

How do you think you’ll apply that lesson to Gina Carano? She comes from a Muay Thai background, but she’s at least serviceable on the ground.

The Irish Hand Grenade says he has impeccable timing, and can knock you out with one punch. He’s also expecting a better Mike Swick at UFC 85 than the one who grabbed a narrow decision against Josh Burkman at UFC Fight Night 12. For Swick’s sake, we hope he’s right

Kaitlin Young pulls around a pickup truck (among other hardcore shit) at API Training Center, in preparation for her fight against Gina Carano on May 31st. Not sure what’s up with the Enya music at the beginning, but my back is killing me just watching this.

In a conference call held yesterday with Gina Carano and Kaitlin Young, EliteXC boss Gary Shaw announced that he intends to create the league’s first women’s title, with the winner of the Carano/Young scrap on May 31st likely fighting for the 140-pound belt sometime this fall; other titles in different weight divisions will follow once EliteXC builds up its roster of female fighters. Shaw also mentioned his goal of putting an all-women’s MMA card on CBS or Showtime next year. And just when we were about to hail Shaw as a champion of gender equality, he hits us with this:

Question: The IFL is very interested in the notion of having unified champions, wherever it’s possible or practical. Would that be something you would want to get involved with?
Shaw: I’m all for it…If they want to do women’s, we’ll fight for a women’s IFL belt…Women like jewelry. The more belts the better for them. They like accessories. So why not fight for an IFL belt or a DREAM belt?

Shaw also gave credit to Kaitlin Young as a dangerous and exciting striker, despite the fact that she’s probably a very bad driver. But it wasn’t all assholishness during the conference call. Shaw gave reporters some straight talk about EliteXC’s financial status and their ability to compete with the UFC:

Here’s Gina Carano’s segment from yesterday’s ESPN E:60, in which we learn that “Crush” got into kickboxing after one of Kit Cope‘s trainers called her fat, she’ll be appearing in EA’s new Command and Conquer video game, she’ll never do Playboy, and Tara LaRosa still can’t stand her.

Related: MMAPayout reports that ESPN is launching an online MMA news show this Thursday, which will be hosted by Kenny Florian for the first two weeks. Said MMAPayout: “The program’s launch was apparently delayed by the UFC’s insistence that it be exclusive to the UFC.”

Heads up, “Crush/Conviction/Beautiful Disaster” fans — Gina Carano will be featured on today’s ESPN E:60, which airs at 7 p.m. ET/4 p.m. PT. A sample clip is above; after the jump is a recent American Gladiators promo where Crush reveals she prefers pizza to sushi, and can’t watch love scenes because she’s single and it’s hard to see other people in love. Awwww! :’ (

The smirky dude above is Kristopher "Kit" Cope, a former Muay Thai champion with an unfortunate MMA record of 1-4. You might know him as the dude who used to be engaged to Gina Carano, or the guy who got hit with a steroid suspension after getting steamrolled by Rob McCullough at WEC 25, or as one of the subjects in MTV’s True Life episode "I’m a Muay Thai Fighter." According to his Wikipedia page, "He once armwrestled a warewolf [sic] and won."

Here’s the short follow-up to E:60‘s profile on Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson that aired last December. To answer the first question you’ll have after seeing this: Blood and Bone is about a drifter who gets caught up in a mob-controlled street-fighting ring. It’s Kimbo’s first acting role, and the flick also features appearances by Bob Sapp, Gina Carano, “Justice” and “Toa” from American Gladiators, and coincidentally, another guy named Kevin Ferguson. It will be released, probably straight-to-DVD, sometime later this year. And hey, why not check out the trailer after the jump.

Tickets for CBS/EliteXC’s first “Saturday Night Fights” card (May 31st; Newark, NJ) are now available at Ticketmaster and PruCenter.com. Prices range from a mere $18 in the mezzanine nosebleeds to a whopping $1,003 for VIP ringside seating (the $3 covers the bag of peanuts they bring you). A press release sent out by ProElite yesterday contained the following notable quotes…

“This is a tremendous opportunity for me and I will have a solid game plan for it. The world will be watching. I’ll be ready.’’ — James Thompson

“I don’t take anyone lightly. I’ve got a big target on me.’’ — Gina Carano

“I’m totally pumped. Gina always comes to fight and doesn’t seem to have an off day. I think on paper we are probably even. One of my greatest advantages is definitely that I have a very aggressive striking style. I think it’s more aggressive than Gina’s.’’ — Kaitlin Young

“I am sick and tired of what’s been going on and someone’s going to pay and that someone is Villasenor. I am going to knock the s— out of Villasenor and then go after one of the champions again.’’ — Phil Baroni

Note to CBS: After Phil Baroni fights, do not give him the microphone.

(Erin Toughill, limbering up before a pill-induced rage.)

In a development that will set female American Gladiators back ten years, MMA fighter Erin Toughill — who will be appearing alongside Gina “Crush” Carano in the next season of the spandex-and-ball-cannon freak show — was slapped with a restraining order last week by her husband Clark Bevans, who also happens to be an MMA fighter. As TMZ reports:

[Bevans] claims Toughill went “insane” with jealously, and accused him of being “a pedophile, sociopath and homosexual.” Aside from allegedly beating him on several occasions, Bevans claims Toughill smashed the windshield of his RV. He also says Toughill “bodychecked, hockey style” a trainer at Gold’s Gym he had dated years before. … Bevans has filed for annulment. As for the restraining order, it was granted.

Sadly, that description only scratches the surface. Combing through the criminal report reveals the most amazingly batshit craziest bits. For example:

— “Over a twelve month period, during and after our marriage, Respondent obtained over nineteen (19) prescriptions for NORCO, a narcotic similar to “Oxycontin.”

— “We both came clean about dating other people during our separation…lmmediately after the “coming clean” session, Respondent went insane that I had dated others, despite the fact that she slept with two of my best friends and is currently engaged to a fellow marine friend of mine. Since then, Respondent tapped into my cell phone and has harassed, stalked and threatened most of the people that she found in my text messages (women). Said parties include my attorney, my hairdresser, my manager, various employees, a restaurant owner and her daughter and even the janitor at Gold’s Gym. She has even gone around and accused me of sleeping with my friend Andrew.”

— “On April 4, 2008…Respondent arrived at Shear Talent Hair Salon, barged in at 10:15 a.m. and yelled ‘Who’s Shelley Smith?’. Ms. Smith is my hairdresser. l had not seen her in over a year. A couple of days prior, via text message only, we confirmed a haircut appointment for me at 11:00 a.m. for the 4th. Respondent then yelled out – ‘Great, just wanted to see the bitch that was fucking my husband while we were married.’ [ed. note: LOFLZ!] When I arrived and learned all of this from Ms. Smith and others in the salon who were shaken up, I realized that once again, Respondent is accessing my T-Mobil account.”

Wait, it gets better…

(Kimbo and “Crush”: And then what? Slice photo courtesy of Esther Lin.)

CBS recently announced that they’ve set July 26th as the date for the second installment of EliteXC’s Saturday Night Fights. Coming less than two months after SNF‘s debut broadcast on May 31st, the scheduling feels premature for a couple of reasons:

1) What if, God forbid, the first show is a ratings disaster? I don’t know if CBS has the power to immediately end their agreement with EliteXC if that happened, but they’d certainly be wise to postpone the next event for a couple more months, reassess what went wrong, and spend more time publicizing their new product.

2) When you stack a card with your two biggest stars (Kimbo Slice, Gina Carano), and fill it out with a few more of your most popular fighters (Robbie Lawler, Phil Baroni, Scott Smith, James Thompson), who’s left to fight eight weeks later? Even if Kimbo and Gina are physically capable of competing again so soon, would casual viewers be interested in seeing another event with the same headliners? Could exciting new opponents be found for them in such a short time-frame? Who’s going to carry card #2?

If you answered Nick Diaz, Jake Shields, KJ Noons, and Yves Edwards — well, you’re wrong. It turns out that all four of those mid-level stars have been booked for EliteXC’s June 14th show in Honolulu. Diaz will face Muhsin Corbbrey, Shields will take on Drew Fickett in EliteXC’s first welterweight title fight, and Noons and Edwards will meet in a lightweight championship bout. Sounds like a killer card, right? It seems like Pro Elite’s best move would be to cancel the Hawaii show and move all the fights to July 26th. Sure, Diaz might be a risk with his medical marijuana routine, and Noons is reportedly staying off the CBS cards due to mismanagement, but it’s hard to think of many other names that EliteXC has in its roster, other than the aforementioned, that could carry a big show, especially when it’s all but guaranteed that no title fights will be included on the July 26th card. Unless, of course, they set up Kimbo to face someone like Antonio Silva for an ill-advised heavyweight championship match. Was Gary Shaw even thinking this far into the future?

Semi-related: Murilo “Ninja” Rua has been dropped from the May 31st CBS card for undisclosed reasons. His opponent, Phil Baroni, will now be facing Joey Villasenor, who knocked out Ryan Jensen three weeks ago at “Shamrock vs. Le.” The rest of the main card is still as-is.

Yesterday’s Quote of the Day involving Dana White’s guarded interest in Kimbo Slice had us wondering if the UFC would try to make a play for the popular brawler after his four-fight EliteXC contract was finished. Well, such a play will have to wait, as EliteXC has wisely re-signed Slice — as well as Gina Carano and middleweight champion Robbie Lawler — to long-term, multi-year contracts. In a press release sent out last night, EliteXC Live Events prez Gary Shaw said:

“We’re extremely happy to get these deals done with Kimbo, Gina and Robbie. Fighters know EliteXC is the place to be and the organization to fight for, which is why we’ve always been able to sign or re-sign almost each and every one of our fighters…You don’t see our guys leaving. With us, it’s family and all about the fighters. Every fighter who has fought on an EliteXC card has come away being ambassadors for EliteXC.”

On Gina “Crush” Carano, Shaw said:

“She truly is the face of women’s MMA, an inspiration to many up-and-coming athletes and is a perfect illustration as to why women do indeed have a place in this sport and with EliteXC.”

Slice, Carano, and Lawler will be competing on EliteXC’s premiere Saturday Night Fights broadcast, which airs May 31st on CBS. Though an official lineup will be released in the next few days, the televised card is looking like this:

Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson vs. James Thompson (heavyweights)
Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young (140-pound limit)
Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith (middleweight championship fight)
Phil Baroni vs. Murilo “Ninja” Rua (middleweights)
Brett Rogers vs. John Murphy (heavyweights)

(Gina Carano poses for her Glamour Shot.)

Slow-ass news day, people. But help is on the way. Here are a few MMA-in-the-media bits you may want to check out. Consider it TV Guide for MMA.

— The lovely Gina Carano (aka, Crush from “American Gladiators”) is slated to fight in perhaps the biggest battle ever for women’s combat sports when she fights Kaitlin Young on May 31st for CBS’ ElieXC broadcast. It’s only a few weeks away and Crush is currently shooting “American Gladiators” while training for her next MMA fight — in fact, she’ll be taping the show right up until two weeks out from her CBS fight. MMARated had a solid interview with Carano recently where Gina chats about her busy schedule as well as trying to successfully juggle fighting and show business.

“I’m just going to try it out and I think that I can do it. I just feel like I’ve put my fighting off long enough and I don’t want to keep doing that because that’s where my heart is and that’s where my passion is. And I wanna, you know, be right to the fans of the sport and continue on fighting so I had to decide: I could be super busy for, you know, two months and try to double-team it.”

Ariel Helwani, MMARated’s interviewer, specifically referenced Lennox Lewis being distracted from fighting while shooting on Ocean’s 11, as well as Chuck Liddell’s “acting career”. Good point, but at least Gina’s Gladiator job involves some sort of training and physical activity. However, not training in MMA full-time and only having two weeks to hit it full-force could spell trouble for Gina — and on a national stage. Wonder what a loss at that level would do to her “AG” job status?

(Bone is for the dog; meat is for the man.)

Hey Potato Heads; couple things to pass along this afternoon…

Commenters “Near07″ and “Da Freak” are refuting our earlier report, taken from The Fight Network, that Gary Goodridge has dropped out of YAMMA Pit Fighting’s debut show on April 11th. From the comments on Wednesday’s post:

Near07 Says:
March 28th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
I am talking to Gary and he claims that this article is bogus, and he is indeed fighting butterbean in Yamma!! Not sure who puts thes up, but it should be scraped!! Thanks

Near07 Says:
March 28th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Gary just sent this to me 2 minutes ago
“Just post on it, that you talked to me and I told you it was all bogus and I already talk to Bob M Yesterday being Thursday. We got everything straight. I have but one Manger and it is not Dave Wallis”

Da Freak Says:
March 28th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Hey gang ,
I have no idea where this BS came from, but I am Gary’s training partner and we are in full training camp mode for Butterbean.
GARY WILL BE THERE AND WILL KICK SOME UGLY ASS
Fredd

As with everything posted by blog commenters, everything related to YAMMA Pit Fighting, and pretty much everything posted on this site, take the above with a nice-sized chunk of rock-salt.

In other news, top-ranked female fighter Tara LaRosa, who openly despises Gina Carano, recently made the following post on The UnderGround Forum in reference to “Crush”:

Good news, Potato Nation: MMA/American Gladiators star Gina Carano will be taking a break from making us cry. EliteXC announced today that Carano has been booked for their May 31st CBS debut, and will face Kaitlin Young, a 4-1 fighter hailing from the Minnesota Martial Arts Academy. Most notably, Young won an eight-woman HooknShoot tournament last November, knocking out three opponents in the same night, all within the first minute of the first round. [Ed. note: Holy fucking shit! Mo chuisle!] So basically, Gina’s gonna want to protect her face.

Also officially announced today is a bout between undefeated brawler Brett Rogers — who most recently knocked out James Thompson at “Street Certified”— and fellow heavyweight John Murphy. Meaning that the tentative main card, at this point, looks like this:

Kimbo vs. TBA (heavyweights)
Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith (for middleweight championship belt)
Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young (weight limit TBA?)
Phil Baroni vs. Murilo “Ninja” Rua (middleweights)
Brett Rogers vs. John Murphy (heavyweights)

Ooh, feel our goosebumps! The booking of Carano was clutch, as it adds a second mainstream-ish star to the network broadcast. We don’t know how much green Gary Shaw had to promise in order to lure the semi-estranged Carano back into the fold, but if it helps put EliteXC over with a skeptical CBS audience, it’ll be worth it. The only question is, has Crush been getting in enough MMA training between pugel-stick jousts and zip-line rides?

Speaking of which…

Inside MMA is promising a must-see show tonight with “HUGE breaking news” (according to their press release) and a panel that includes Randy Couture, Kim Couture, and Gina Carano. They’ve also released a clip of tonight’s show where Kim Couture discusses training for her first MMA match and the sparring session in which Gina Carano broke her nose. We gotta say, Randy’s wife is lookin’ good — she kinda has a Speed-era Sandra Bullock thing going on. Meanwhile, Gina kinda has a tough-but-warmhearted-lesbian-who-rides-in-an-otherwise-all-male-motorcycle-club-on-the-weekends thing going on. And that’s why we love her.

Inside MMA‘s breaking news will most likely involve Couture’s escalating legal battle with Zuffa. This could be unrelated, but MMAPayout‘s Adam Swift has an article on Sherdog today about HDNet Fights’ new suit against the UFC parent company, which seeks “a declaratory judgment concerning the contractual status of Couture under his Zuffa promotional contract. In an ironic twist, Zuffa’s co-defendant in the suit is technically none other than Couture himself.” Inside MMA airs on HDNet tonight at 9:30 p.m. ET.

“It wasn’t a kick, it was a step” — awww, how adorable! Of course, if it was Wolf on the platform, there would be no sheepish avoidance of guilt. The dude would be like, “Hell yeah I kicked you in your fool head, that’s what happens when you step into the Wolf’s Den, ahhWOOOOOOOOOO!” Anyway, let’s hope Gina tries to use that excuse after soccer-kicking a downed opponent in her next MMA match…

(Props: 5 Oz. O’Pain)

(Not funny.)

— Bas Rutten starred in the best YTMND page of all-time. (last link)

— MMA Girl Joanne enchanted us with an exclusive video interview.

— We got overly emotional about Gina Carano.

— EliteXC signed two members of the Shamrock family. Unfortunately, neither one was Frank. We marveled at Ryan’s physique and gave Ken some encouragement.

— The UFC filed a lawsuit against Randy Couture. Your move, Natural.

— We solicited your predictions for the Kimbo Slice/Tank Abbott fight, then liveblogged their press conference.

— We counted down the best fights that didn’t take place in a ring or cage.

— We put $1,000 up for grabs in the Serious Pimp t-shirt design contest.

— Instead of predicting UFC 80‘s winners, we predicted the bonuses. (Reminder: Come back tomorrow at 3 p.m. ET for the UFC 80 liveblog. Good times guaranteed.)

— We coped with a slow news day.

Have a great weekend, people. Stay hungry.

Late last year, the lure of Hollywood came calling for Gina Carano. Though she was one of the brightest rising stars in MMA — not just female MMA, but MMA in general — she decided to forsake her undefeated record and career momentum, signing on to star as “Crush” on NBC’s remake of American Gladiators. Metaphorically speaking, she gave it up to the first guy with a flashy car and a slick pick-up line.

It was tragic, for a number of reasons. Carano’s been a role model to untold numbers of young women, proving that you can retain your femininity while still being tough-as-nails, but she’s taken a hiatus from fighting to suit up in Spandex and do silly things above pools of water. In other words, she’s reinforcing the idea, held by too many young Americans, that doing stupid shit on national TV has more value than doing something worthwhile in relative obscurity.

I’m sure part of the reason Carano took the Gladiators role, besides the money, was to promote herself as viable television talent; if not acting roles, Carano could surely score hosting gigs post-AG for shows in the vein of Fear Factor or Wild On. The problem is, in all the press and promo clips we’ve seen for the show, Carano’s name is rarely mentioned. Instead she’s just “Crush,” a Gladiator, a Warrior; she’s occasionally identified as some sort of pro fighter, though her legitimate MMA pedigree is never discussed. Any hopes that her presence on the show would be a good thing for MMA should by now be deflated.

So when I see this clip of her on The Today Show this morning, standing next to a ridiculous man-beast named “Wolf,” half-naked in 40-degree weather, being swatted with a pugel stick by Ann Curry, getting chastised by Matt Lauer for getting too rough with another NBC fluff-piece reporter, and having to deal with Meredith Viera’s minstrel dress-up antics (the housewives love that shit), I just hope that they’re paying her enough to deal with this humiliation. And I hope that diehard “Beautiful Disaster” fans take her back when the guy with the flashy car and pickup line moves on to the next pretty face…

(Thanks to 5oz. for the heads-up.)

In the absence of news that interests me, let’s settle the debate once and for all with a game of FMK. The contestants are:

The fighter, Gina Carano

The ring girl, Arianny Celeste

The co-host/ex-Playmate of the Year, Tiffany Fallon

So, gents…FMK?

(Julie Kedzie: There’s nothing better than losing that last 10…)

According to press release sent out today by EliteXC, that Miami event featuring Kimbo Slice vs. Tank Abbott won’t be the first show that Elite puts on in 2008. “ShoXC: EliteXC Challenger Series” is scheduled to go down on January 25th in Atlantic City and will feature the following matches:

TELEVISED CARD
Paul “Semtex” Daley vs. TBA (160 lbs.)
Yves Edwards vs. Kyle Bradley (160 lbs.)
Bobby McMaster vs. Bao Quach (150 lbs.)
Kala Kolohe Hose vs. Bellaton Frederic (185 lbs.)
Julie Kedzie vs. Tonya Evinger (140 lbs.)

PRELIMINARY MATCHES
Eddie Alvarez vs. Carlos Quinlon (160 lbs.)
Zach Makovsky vs. Wilson Reis (140 lbs.)
Binky Jones vs. TBA (150 lbs.)
Sergio Vinagre vs. Doug Gordon (170 lbs.)
Joe Shilling vs. Matt Makowski (170 lbs.)

The event will be broadcast on Showtime at 11 p.m. ET/PT, and tickets are available here. At this point, we’re really only interested in the Kedzie/Evinger fight, which would establish a clear successor to Gina Carano, should she decide to leave the fighting life and pursue other opportunities full-time; both women lost to Carano in 2007.

Karo Parisyan, who most recently bored us to tears at UFC 78, embarrassed himself again while appearing as a guest on Friday’s episode of Inside MMA. During a discussion of women’s MMA, Karo threw in his two drams:

“Look, I know all the women are going to hate Karo Parisyan now, but the cage is not for women…I mean, Gina Carano is a very beautiful girl. I don’t know why she wants to mess her face up to get in that cage. For me personally, I do not want to see any girl get in the cage and fight…Can’t they do one thing that guys do and they don’t? Just one? Give me a break. They do weight-lifting. They do wrestling. Not MMA, please. It’s too brutal for women.”

Parisyan went on to lament how, in glorious nation of Armenia, women are now allowed to ride in inside of bus.

For his blatant sexism, Karo’s punishment should be to watch this terrible commercial in a continuous loop for 24 hours straight. Parisyan also becomes the first recipient of CagePotato’s “Ortiz Award”, for his outstanding achievements in referring to himself in the third-person like a complete fucking jerkoff.

(Props: MMA Junkie)

NBC.com has posted photos of MMA star Gina Carano (“Crush”) in her American Gladiators uniform, along with pics of her fellow castmembers. We gotta say, our girl is looking good — unfortunately, she’ll be sharing screen time with she-beasts like “Hellga”:

Good Lord. You bang that woman in a dream, you better wake up and apologize…

Apparently tired of being America’s most highly regarded female mixed martial artist, Gina Carano has decided to to try her hand at firing tennis balls from a cannon. The American Gladiators blog (yes, such a thing exists) reports that “The Beautiful Disaster” has joined the cast of the legendary athletic competition show, which is being re-made by NBC in light of the ongoing WGA writer’s strike; AG premieres on January 6th, and Carano’s gladiator name will be “Crush.” Her fellow female gladiators — Siren, Stealth, Venom, Helga (?), and a pre-op transsexual named Fury — all come from a bodybuilding background. No word yet on who will play the deaf one.

It’s sad to consider it, but this is undeniably the beginning of the end of Carano’s MMA career. Nobody would put themselves through the humiliation of crawling around inside a metal hamster-ball while wearing hot-pink spandex unless they had network television ambitions to begin with. Carano most likely saw Gladiators as her ticket to a guest spot on Law and Order: SVU, followed by roles in romantic comedies as Sandra Bullock’s younger sister. And I really hope it’s worth it for her, because her hiatus/retirement would mean that women’s MMA loses its marketable mascot. So let’s all be bitter at Gina, and console ourselves with the fact that she’ll be spending the winter dealing with douchebags like these:

(Mike “Titan” O’Hearn)

(Don “Wolf” Yates)

Gina “Conviction” Carano — a.k.a. the “Beautiful Disaster,” a.k.a. the face of women’s MMA — increased her record to 5-0 in her last fight at EliteXC: Uprising (9/15/07), where she reversed Tonya Evinger’s ground control and scored a submission victory by rear naked choke in the first round. Watch her work…

By the way — the “25 centimeter pole” remark? Brilliant, sir. You’re a credit to your gender. Would have loved to hear the punchline to that Lindsay Lohan bit at the end…