(Video courtesy of YouTube/RootsofFight)

After some careful consideration by Helio Gracie’s grandson and one of the co-creators of The Gracie Breakdown series, Rener Gracie, we have a winner from last week’s Roots of Fight ‘What the Gracies Mean to Fighting’ Contest. Amazingly, none of the entries we sent in from our troll Twitter accounts won.

…and now we have video proof. Our favorite parts?

1) “You ripped it up lookin’ for guns, well, I got ‘em. And I’m gonna beat you with ‘em.”
2) The theme song (0:45-1:13), which makes “Jesus Didn’t Tap” sound like The Low End Theory. “The grudge is some guy, who just wouldn’t quit / A heated argument, over some buullll / such.”
3) Officer Carter’s compulsive finger-counting.
4) “They have a gruuzh, they wanna settle.”

In related news, it was announced last week that Tito Ortiz’s grudge-settling show, Anytown Beatdown, will be produced for the G4 cable network.

Previously: The Strange, Sad Case of ‘Called Out’ (a.k.a. ‘Settle Your Grudge’) (a.k.a. ‘Fight It Out’)

(Hey, if you say so buddy…)

Last week, we passed judgment on Settle Your Grudge, an ill-advised reality show that Rodrigo and Crosley Gracie are producing, in which two people involved in a feud get to settle it with some BJJ. Think People’s Court, except with the “due process and justice” replaced by “fighting.”

Well, it’s apparently not too lowbrow a concept for Tito Ortiz, who may be signed on as the “famous face” described in the original press release. MMAMania came across this posting on RealityWanted.com which lays out more gory details:

New TV Show Starring TITO ORTIZ is Looking For You!!!!

Do you have a beef with someone and tried everything to solve it but can’t? Did your best friend steal your girl?

Did your old roommate shaft you on your rent? Did you have a falling out with your best friend and have no way to solve it?

Also looking for competitive friends or friends with a problem they need to solve and the only way to do it is to fight it out!

UFC Champion Tito Ortiz is going to train you to battle out your problems in the Octagon!! We are looking for ALL SHAPES AND SIZES to walk into the ring and settle it once and for all!!!!

Both of you would need to come down and audition in our Hollywood studio, so you must live in Southern California!

Casting ASAP!

Can you feel the excitement?! It’s like they used a dartboard to determine how many exclamation points would go at the end of each sentence.

The posting reinforces what initially skeeved us out about the show’s concept to begin with — their attitude that when personal disputes get too heated, “the only way to [resolve them] is to fight it out!” It’s like they’ve never realized that losing a fight makes the average person more hostile afterwards, and winning a fight often makes the winner even more of a prick than he was in the first place. And if you’re answering an online ad to be on a reality show, chances are you were a huge prick in the first place.

By the way, we suggest you spend some time on RealityWanted.com, which seems to be the social networking site for the delusional, neurotic and fame-desperate. I mean, just look at some of the bullshit they need bodies for. Hello stardom!!!!

(Rodrigo Gracie [right] with great-uncle-thrice-removed-or-something Royce Gracie)

You think Fighting Fedor is a bad idea? Ho, baby. From a new press release on Reuters.com:

Rodrigo and Crosley Gracie have decided to co-produce a reality television show of mixed martial arts, combined with the Gracie Jiu Jitsu flavor, and a little drama. [Ed. note: Rodrigo and Crosley are cousins, and grandsons of Carlos Gracie.]

The reality show is based on true life grudges. Imagine a famous face knocking on your door. He/she shows you a photo. “Do you know who this is?” You know exactly who it is. He/she is the person with whom you have a grudge to settle. Then, without a clue as to where you are going, you are whisked off to an undisclosed location where you will be trained by one of the world famous Gracie Jiu Jitsu family members. Did you know that the person in the photo is also receiving the same treatment? Did you know that now is the chance to “Settle Your Grudge?”

Kyra_Gracie – see more hot chicks

Yes, the Gracie family does occasionally produce women. (We’re as surprised as you are.) In particular, Kyra Gracie — the 22-year-old granddaughter of Robson and niece of Renzo, Ralph, and the late Ryan — is talented enough to roll with her male relations, and foxy enough to be featured on Hot Potato. The first female Gracie to actively compete in jiu-jitsu, Kyra has won over 20 major grappling titles since 1998, including two Abu Dhabi championships and five wins at the Pan-American Games. Check out more photos of Kyra after the jump, and learn more about her at her official website.

Just two weeks after the first death of a mixed martial artist resulting from injuries sustained in sanctioned competition, the MMA world was struck with another tragedy this weekend, as 33-year-old Ryan Gracie — the so-called “bad boy” of the Gracie clan — was found dead in a Sao Paulo jail cell Saturday morning; he had been arrested Friday night for stealing a car from a 76-year-old man at knifepoint, crashing it, then attempting to steal a motorcycle to flee from police. According to this article, Gracie did not respond to a morning roll call: “When I went to his cell, I saw him lying on his mattress,” [police inspector Paulo] Bittencourt said. “He had no pulse and a reddish liquid was coming out of his mouth. It seems to me he died of a heart attack.”

Following the arrest, Gracie’s urine showed traces of cocaine and marijuana, but the Bleacher Report (props: BloodyElbow) suggests that the illegal drugs were just the beginning:

Psychiatrist Dr. Sabino Ferreira de Faria was called by Gracie’s wife after his arrest and attended to him at the jail. The doctor has allegedly stated that he administered the following drugs to Gracie to calm him down: Haldol (a powerful antipsychotic), Fenergan (which has a side effect of sleepiness), Topamax (for Migraines), Dienpax (tranquilizers), and OmniPlex (relaxant). The doctor remained with Gracie most of the night, and was notified of Gracie’s death as he was returning home. The cause of death has not yet been released by the medical examiner.

So yeah, drug interactions were probably at play here — and if there’s any justice, Dr. “Feelgood” Ferreira will be spending some time in a Brazilian jail cell himself.

Ryan was the son of Robson Gracie (cousin of Royce Gracie), brother of Renzo Gracie, and grandson of Carlos Gracie. He held a record of 5-2 as a middleweight in the PRIDE organization; his last match was a submission victory over Yoji Anjo at PRIDE Shockwave 2004 (12/31/04). Ryan Gracie’s arrest for car-jacking wasn’t his first brush with violence. In 2000, he was arrested for stabbing someone at a Rio de Janeiro nightclub, and in 2005 he accidentally shot himself in the femur, nearly costing him the use of his leg.