13 Apr 2009 09:17:23 AM
(Step 1: Lock in armbar. Step 2: Give camera sultry look. Step 3: Call parents and tell them community college classes are going really well.)
Further solidifying the already close bonds between professional MMA fighters and adult film actresses, the organizers behind the Exxxotica Miami Beach “Adult Consumer Show” have decided to go the extra mile. This year they’ll be hosting a no-gi submission grappling tournament to supplement the adult-themed entertainment already on display. To let you know exactly what the thought process was behind this move, just read this statement from the Exxxotica director – clearly a man who knows his target audience:
”Exxxotica now has everything a guy could ask for — the biggest adult stars, lots of sexy action, and one of the most popular sports in the world today, Mixed Martial Arts,” said J. Handy, Director of Victory Tradeshow Management, producers of Exxxotica. ”In the past we’ve had professional pillow fighters, pro wrestling exhibitions, but nothing touches the ever-growing popularity of Mixed Martial Arts in the United States, and hosting this tournament during Exxxotica Miami Beach is just another way for us to give our attendees anything and everything to entertain them when they come to our show.”
Oh, J. Handy. You had me at professional pillow fighters. Although maybe you shouldn’t continue to refer to a no-gi grappling tournament as mixed martial arts. Strictly speaking, the action in grappling tournaments isn’t MMA any more than the action in porn movies is an expression of love. But whatever. The winner of the absolute division of this tournament gets $3,000 and the adoration of every wide-eyed starlet in attendance, which means this might be the best chance yet for Tamdan McCrory to finally get laid. Go get ‘em, Barn Cat.