(Symbol of eternal love and devotion…or DEATH TRAP? We’re just kidding. It’s both.)

We’re not sure if we can “thank” MiddleEasy for passing along the image that awaits you after the jump, but out of morbid curiosity, we are going to pass it along to you nonetheless. We do not know who the poor sap on the receiving end of this…flensing is; all we know is that he apparently suffered it while grappling with his wedding ring on. As if we needed another reason to take them off, amiright fellas? *raises hand for high-fives, receives none* 

In any case, just be prepared for what you are about to witness. Anthony Njokuani’s hand? Rubbish. Martin Kampmann’s axe wound? Child’s play.

I know I have a tendency to embellish these things. I know this. But if the photo below does not make you recoil in disgust, then vomit into your lap and possibly even denounce the concept of marriage altogether, I will proudly hand over my expired press pass and gun to the CagePotato offices and retire.

You have been warned.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/Submissions101)

Royler Gracie failed to respond to Eddie Bravo’s challenge to compete at the 2011 Abu Dhabi Combat Club submission grappling competition by the July 10 deadline set by the 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu founder and has now tried to save face by challenging Bravo, who has never competed in mixed martial arts in his life, to a one-off MMA bout in Brazil.

“I have no problems with ADCC, but the fact is that we didn’t get to an agreement on our negotiation and unfortunately the organizers of the event haven’t got in touch with me again. I can’t keep waiting, I have other plans for myself. I’m assuming this bout won’t happen”, Royler told TATAME. “I’m dealing with this MMA event, which might happen in Brazil. I haven’t sign anything yet, but the negotiations are going well and it’s likely it happens. The organizer of the event even called Eddie Bravo to fight me, but he declined it, he didn’t want to fight me… And I said I was only punch him with my hands opened, man (laughs).”

(Highlights from the 2007 ADCC tourney. For part 2, click here.)

The ultra-prestigious invitation-only Abu Dhabi Combat Club Submission Fighting World Championships — which takes place every two years — kicks off September 26th in Barcelona, with a host of familiar names in the brackets. Read on to see who will be battling for the biggest bragging rights in the grappling world during the upcoming 2009 edition. Props to Fightlinker and Japan MMA for the tips…

Female -60kg:
Kyra Gracie, Brazil (2007 women’s -59kg winner)
Sayaka Shioda, Japan (2007 women’s -55kg winner)
Megumi Fujii, Japan
Michelle Tavares, Brazil
Laurence Cousin, France
Ina Steffensen, Denmark
Hillary Williams, USA
Luanna Alzuguir, Brazil

Female 60kg+:
Hannette Staack, USA (2007 women’s Absolute and -67kg winner)
Penny Thomas, USA (2007 women’s 67kg+ winner)
Hitomi Hiraiwa, Japan
Rosângela Conceição, Brazil
Ida Hansson, Sweden
Shanti Abelha, Denmark
Lana Stephanac, USA
Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos, Brazil

(Photos courtesy of Sportsnavi)

Though it was officially ruled "no winner" due to its status as an exhibition match, Fedor Emelianenko pretty much manhandled Shinya Aoki earlier today in Tokyo during their Sambo-ish bout at DEEP/M-1 Challenge 3rd Edition, tossing the Japanese lightweight around the ring before finishing him with a leglock. According to one fan’s report on BloodyElbow:

(Worst Affliction t-shirt ever?  Or best Slash t-shirt ever?)

Following his dismal performance at UFC 92 and subsequent release from the UFC (at his request, which is like telling your boss you quit immediately after he’s discovered that you’ve been stealing), Dean Lister is headed back where he belongs: grappling tournaments.  Lister will be back at the Abu Dhabi’s and word has it that he’s angling for a move up in weight to take on Fedor Emelianenko, who’s expected to enter this year.

On one hand, it’s good to see Lister back in his element.  As great a submissions fighter as he is, he’s not much of an MMA fighter at this point.  He tried to pull guard on Yushin Okami for three rounds and got a chorus of boos for his trouble.  He then apologized to his fans while reminding us that he could kick all of our asses, just in case you were in any danger of feeling sympathy for him.

But Lister is a middleweight.  Fedor is a heavyweight.  Even if he weren’t also one of the best fighters on the planet, the weight difference is already a huge advantage.  But would it be pretty awesome to see Fedor in a pure grappling match against one of America’s best pure grapplers?  It would.  He tapped out his brother with no problem, but "The Boogeyman" has a significantly better grappling resume.  He is also free of blood-borne diseases (sorry, had to do it).

Regardless, a Fedor/Lister grappling match has the potential to get even the more casual MMA viewers slightly interested in the Abu Dhabi’s.  And that’s without the brutal violence of MMA, Bob Reilly.  What now?

(Photos courtesy of DreamOfficial via BloodyElbow)

How does one say "no homo" in Japanese? Shinya "Tobikan Judan" Aoki and Masakazu "Ashikan Judan" Imanari showed up to a recent media grappling session in costume for some reason, with Aoki dressed as a schoolgirl and his Nippon Top Team homeboy as some sort of lecherous gym teacher. Sources tell CagePotato that Imanari had originally planned to go as a tentacle monster, but thought it would be too subtle. Enjoy the pics…?

(Hey, if he can do it to Captain Planet…)

Huge news for followers of competitive grappling — the Abu Dhabi Combat Club has announced that Fedor Emelianenko and DREAM middleweight champ Gegard Mousasi have been confirmed as participants for the 2009 ADCC Submission Wrestling World Championship:

Fedor Emelianenko, after conquering the World of MMA, wants to show the World he is also the best Submission Grappler in the World. Fedor want to make history and expand on the pioneer spirit of what Mark Kerr did in the late 90′s when he was the Champion of Pride and became the weight and Absolute Champion of ADCC and went on to defend his title in the Superfights for 2 editions.

Mousassi, the winner of the 2008 Dream Middleweight Grand Prix where he defeated former World ABJJ Absolute and ADCC middleweight Champion Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza in the final, also wants to test his ground skills against the top names in Submission Grappling. This sets up some humongous possible match-ups such as a re-match with “Jacare” or facing current ADCC Middleweight Champion and rising U.F.C. star Demian Maia.

(That’s “The Predator” all right. I’d recognize those cheeks anywhere.)

Well, we’re officially disturbed. This picture of Patrick Cote, um, blowing off some steam(?) was sent to us by mini at hithiphop.com and we immediately wished we had never seen it. So we did what any responsible internet types would do: we forced it on you, our readers. Enjoy your nightmares.

We don’t begrudge a guy his right to have a few too many (at least we hope alcohol was involved) and do things he’ll later wish he hadn’t. But when we picture the guy who’ll finally bring Anderson Silva’s tremendous winning streak to an end, this isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.

More pictures are after the jump…if you dare.

Crush and Sugar Free getting down at Xtreme Couture. Props to BloodyElbow.

A promo for SpikeTV’s upcoming preview show on “Breakthrough,” which features actual footage of Chuck Liddell’s hamstring injury in April, and Matt Hamill wreckin’ dudes as a kid. Props to FiveOuncesofPain.