Gus Johnson

(Alas, Shamrock's pleas for Diaz to "mellow out" were all in vain.  Photo courtesy of SI.com)

Strikeforce’s first offering on Showtime yielded some pleasant surprises and some totally unpleasant non-surprises.  We turn now to the arbitrary numerical ranking system of the Potato Index to tell us who’s up and who’s down after this weekend.  Giddyup.

Nick Diaz +123
His biggest win in years proves that Diaz is a true main event fighter who deserves to be taken seriously.  He beat a slower, but still capable Shamrock in every aspect of the game, and even helped him up afterwards.  Now we await the results of his drug test.  Please Nick, tell us you didn’t screw that part up.

Frank Shamrock -68
“The Legend” showed a lot of heart, but not a whole lot of skill or endurance.  Maybe those surgeries and his advancing years are taking more of a toll than he let on, or maybe Diaz really is that good of a boxer.  Either way, if Shamrock can’t do better in the rematch with Cung Le he should seriously consider calling it a career.

(Someone should tell Nick that in some cultures they consider that an insult.)

As Strikeforce’s Showtime debut closes in on us and we prepare to get our liveblog on (that’s right, so remember to stop on by tomorrow night) it’s time to debate the hell out of the merits of this fight card, its resemblance to a Zombie EliteXC here on Zombie Jesus weekend, and more.  Here it is, your Ben vs. Ben…

Is Diaz/Shamrock a completely meaningless, just-for-the-hell-of-it bout?  If so, does it matter, or do you need something more to get excited about it?  Who wins this, anyway?

BF: Of course it’s a meaningless fight.  I mean, it’s being contested at 179 pounds.  That’s not even a round number, let alone a weight class.  It’s not as if this is a fight to settle some longstanding grudge (unless you count the grudge Frank Shamrock has against anyone unwilling to admit that he’s the greatest fighter ever, or the grudge Nick Diaz has against the world).  It’s certainly not a fight to sort out the contenders from the pretenders in the 179-pound division.  Naw son, this is just for kicks.

Does it matter to me?  Not in this case.  It may be fighting for the sake of fighting, but it’s such a weirdly compelling match-up that I don’t care.  Diaz and Shamrock are always fun to watch, and they’re both absolutely insane in very different ways.  So why not make them fight each other?  It’s not as if either one of them is climbing to the top of any division at this point.

As for who’s going to win, the fact that I have to think about it a little only makes me more interested in seeing it.  Five years ago this is Shamrock’s fight all the way, but the ravages of age, as they say.  I’ll still take Shamrock via decision, based mostly on superior size and strength, but also based on his notorious in-fight antics, which will bait Diaz into fighting a stupid fight.  Not that that’s especially hard.

BG: I’m thinking the fight will end in a draw after Shamrock and Diaz spend fifteen minutes with their arms in the air, each trying to lure the other one into hitting them in the face. On the real though, yeah, probably Shamrock by decision, or a late TKO stoppage that Diaz will immediately complain about. It’ll be a much less nuanced fight than it could be. Both of these guys prefer to stand and bang, so that’s what’s going to happen. The deciding factor will be power, which Shamrock has and Diaz lacks.

(Props: MMA Mania)

Skip to the 0:56 mark for this personal statement:

“There’s certain things I can’t do, I’m not going to do.  If someone tells me to do it I’m not going to do it.  I’m going to do what I want to do and that’s why I fight.  I want to do what I want to do.  I want to fight.  That’s what I want to do.  They’d say, ‘Hey, why didn’t you do your work, Nick?’ in class or school or whatever.  ‘Why don’t you do your homework?’  And I’m like, I don’t wanna.  I couldn’t figure out why, I just can tell you right now I don’t wanna.  I’m not going to.  And then when I found out what I wanted to do was I wanted to train jiu-jitsu.  That’s what I want to do.  I wanted to tap people out and train jiu-jitsu.  ‘What do you want to do?’  I want to fight.  That’s what I want to do so that’s what I’m going to do.”

A rare moment of lucidity from Nick Diaz in this old Showtime promo for one of his ShoXC fights gives us the clearest insight yet into his motivations.  I feel like I went to school with a few Nick Diaz’s.  Only instead of becoming famous pro fighters they ended up working at Chili’s, and not the good Chili’s by the movie theater where the girls from the community college all worked.  I’m talking about the bad Chili’s by the freeway where the used car salesmen drank on their lunch breaks.  Not pretty.  If only they'd done their homework.

After the jump, a little something to prepare you for the enthusiasm-over-substance approach of announcer Gus Johnson, who’ll be on the mic for Showtime on Saturday.

#10: Frank Trigg's stunned disbelief
Affliction: Banned, 7/19/08

It's not that Trigg's reaction when Fedor started landing bombs on Tim was inappropriate; in fact, this was pretty much how we reacted during the fight. But when you're being paid actual money to give insightful commentary about a sporting event, the viewers at home deserve a little better than "OH! OH-HO! OH-HO! OH-HO-NO-HO! OH!" Especially when you consider that this is a recurring trend with Trigg — when crazy shit goes down, the eloquence-train flies off the tracks, so to speak.

#9: Mike Goldberg tells us how precise Anderson Silva's precision is

The answer: Really. It's really precise. Man, sometimes Mike is better off keeping his mouth shut until it's time to ask Joe Rogan whether or not a fighter's arm is in trouble. By the way, if you can watch that video for all ten minutes, we'll send you a t-shirt.

#8: Kimbo Slice fails third-grade geography 
K-1's World Grand Prix 2008 Final, 12/6/08

(Unfortunately, we couldn't find a working video of this moment. Hopefully this Esther Lin/Lolcats mashup will be sufficient.)

Okay, give Kimbo a break. The man was extremely jet-lagged, and he clearly meant "the prefecture of Japan known as Kanagawa, which has Yokohama as its capital, where we are right now." It's not like he asked co-commentator Michael Schiavello what the fuck up with all the Chinese people in the building. That would have been embarrassing. And speaking of which...