seth rogen james franco the interview
Six Other Seth Rogen/James Franco Films That Should’ve Been Canceled

Tag: happy endings

Keith Jardine Emerges From Obscurity, Brings a Notorious Mail Thief to Justice


(Props: KRQE)

By Shep Ramsey

Last Thursday, Keith Jardine was chilling at home in Albuquerque, New Mexico, possibly finding the best torrents available to catch last week’s episode of Workaholics, when he spotted some dude pull up to his mailbox.

A convicted home-burglar named Richard Davenport rolled up to the driveway, opened Jardine’s mailbox, took his envelopes and began to flee.

Jardine then got into his Ford Bronco and decided to take matters into his own hands. The Dean of Mean chased down the mail-thief, slammed his truck right in front of Davenport, pulled him out of his car and held him until police arrived.

“I reached back like I was going to hit him and right then he yielded to everything,” said Jardine, who sounds like he’d be a truly awful cellmate. Jardine added that Davenport played dumb at first, saying he was picking up the mail for a friend. Take it away, The Rock.

If you haven’t already, please check out the news segment at the top of this post, featuring an amazing reenactment of the incident that would make Unsolved Mysteries pretty jealous. Did you notice that Davenport was wearing a fucking PRIDE FC sweatshirt? Seriously, is this a setup? Is he a crazed fan who wanted Jardine’s Brazzers account password so he could be like him? Is it one of the shady promoters from the Dominican Republic who opted to pay Jardine, and then decided to take it back?

Maybe it was just a coincidence that this idiot was dressed like an MMA fan. Whatever the case may be, the semi-retired Jardine picked up his first win in almost three years. Gotta love a happy ending.

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CAGEPOTATO PSA: HOLY CRAP, ALF BEAT CANCER YOU GUYS


(Lookin’ good, Laura! Nice to see the hair finally coming back!)

CagePotato HQ received some incredible news yesterday from our dear friend Laura “angrylittlefeet” Nicholson — who you’ve supported with your cash and kind words during her treatment for Hodgkins Lymphoma this year. Check out the update she sent us (after a celebratory margarita), and show her some love on twitter and Facebook!

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Hey there my fellow Taters! Many of you have been with me throughout my fight against cancer so I wanted to share the news with you all…

ALF defeats Hodgkins Lymphoma via KTFO rd 3!

I had a PET scan on Tuesday and just got results back and it was good as it could be. All my nodes are fine now and all internal organs are back to normal — no more swelling is present. Just some scar tissue from the lung surgery but that’s to be expected. Now I just go back in 4 months for a follow up scan and if all is still well they cut me loose except for semi annual checkups.

Many thanks to everybody who supported me during this ordeal!

ALF

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