Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Tag: hospitals

(Sort of) Update: Falcao & Mena Kicked Off Fight Team for Role in Gas Station Brawl, Mena Still Hospitalized

(Rest assured, this woman felt mighty foolish when she realized that Falcao was just trying to swat a deadly scorpion off her shoulder.) 

On Monday, we showed you video example #3401 of rule #1 in Brazil: Always show the proper hespect. Whether it’s to a fellow opponent, an elder, or some chick(a) at a gas station who just shot you down, dishespect is something that will simply not be tolerated and will usually end with a 2×4 being placed upside your head. It applied to Tommy Boy, and therefore it applies to the streets of Brazil.

Unfortunately, former Bellator middleweight title challenger Maiquel Falcao was never taught the aforementioned rule by the pack of feral dogs that raised him from ages 6-17 on account of them not speaking English and all, resulting in the horrific beatdowns that both he (deservedly) and fellow fighter Kaue Mena (not so much) received in their wild gas station brawl over the weekend.

Fortunately for Mena, he appears to be slowly improving after undergoing surgery yesterday, but remains in a coma. Falcao’s wife took to Facebook to detail the situation, stating, “Great news. Our brother Kaue has shown improvements. We are following his recovery. Glory be to God. We will continue praying in earnest.” The bad news, however, is that both Falcao and Mena have been subsequently kicked off Renovacao Fight Team, where the former has trained for the better part of two years. Fight team leader Marcelo Brigadeiro released an official statement via Portal do Vale Tudo yesterday, the entirety of which is after the jump.


“Fight for ALF” Update: Radioactive Crap and Lung Fluid

(Not the ALF in question, but still…feel better, ALF.)

Through her narcotic haze, our friend Laura “angrylittlefeet” Nicholson has foggily typed out some words to update the Potato Nation on her ongoing battle against Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and all the unpleasant bullshit that goes along with it. Read it below, and if you haven’t already, PLEASE donate a few bucks to our “Fight for ALF” campaign on Indiegogo. All proceeds will be given directly to Laura to help out with her medical costs. We’re currently sitting at $2,381 raised. Can we hit $2,500 by the end of the day?


Hi again Taters.

Alf here with an update on the fun ride that the past week or so has been.

First off, the PET scan was no big deal after all. They just shoot me up with some radioactive crap and then stick me in a dark room for about an hour while this works its way thru my system. From there it’s into a big ole scanner that makes some noise & moves around but is really pretty comfy. Again they say don’t move. So…sounds like two medically prescribed naps to me. I can handle this. Pretty much same deal with the CAT scan. Just waiting around for the radioactive stuff to work it’s way thru. Sadly, so far no Ninja Turtle skills have been acquired.

On to the bad news. Scans showed a lot of fluid built up around my lungs and heart. So off to the ER for that to be dealt with. They of course admitted me immediately. This was last Monday. They drained my lungs that night and I felt a whole lot better. But of course that shit just built right back up. Then they put a chest tube in to drain. What fun. Next day the tube came out and the villagers rejoiced. Not for long though. At this point they shipped me off to a second hospital to have the fluid around my heart taken care of. Now in this modern day of technology you’d think they’d have some way to use a small tube thru your arm pit or something. Oh no sir! Five 1/2 hour wait and then they bring out a needle which they proceed to jam into my chest. They don’t put you to sleep for this either, by the way.