MMA ambassador Donald Trump stopped by the Howard Stern Show yesterday to pump up Affliction: Banned. The audio is above; some highlights are below…

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Trump: I’m supposed to come over here to talk about Affliction, which is like this big deal, I own a big piece of this company that’s putting on fights, you know, the MMA, they — speaking about blood, they beat the crap out of each other —
Stern: Wait a minute, be honest with me, how many times are you having sex with your wife?
Trump: A lot.

***

Stern: What’s [Fedor's] thing, karate, jiu-jitsu, what does he do?
Trump: Everything. His thing is inflicting death on people. He’s never lost. He’s abnormally strong…
Stern: How tall?
Trump: He’s not that big either, he weighs about 225 pounds, he’s fighting a guy who’s a great champion, who weighs 100 pounds more [Ed. note: Well, like 40 pounds more. But still!], and he’s like six inches, seven inches taller. And they’re not giving the other guy a great chance.

***

Trump: I’m looking at this Russian, Fedor — with a face like you don’t wanna touch, with ears like I’ve never seen before, muscles on his shoulders like I’ve never seen, his neck I think it’s 28 inches — and I said to the girls, “Let me ask you a question. If I worked out for a little while, do you think I could take this guy?” They go, “Yes Mr. Trump”…
Stern: There it is, money speaks.

(Movie magic.)

Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson stopped by the Howard Stern Show this morning to promote Jenna’s new book, Jenna Tales: Something Blue. Some of the segment’s highlights:

— Ortiz claimed he could beat Chuck Zito, Jet Li, Chuck Norris, and Bruce Lee in fights, and could defeat Mike Tyson within 30 seconds in an MMA-rules bout.

— Ortiz on Dana White: “He’s an egotistical egomaniac. He wants to be a fighter and a superstar. I’ve worked so hard for (the UFC) and put my ass on the line. I’ve fought injured and with a torn ACL and a bulging disc and still put my ass on the line, and they still don’t show me respect. Dana’s like Don King. The only thing that separates him and Dana White is the color of their skin.” On the UFC: “They make about $43 million on pay-per-view, which doesn’t even include (the live gate), which is another $5 million, and not to mention merchandise sales.” Ortiz expressed his feeling that all UFC fighters should be getting a bigger cut of the company’s revenue.

— According to Ortiz, Jenna Jameson’s new, smaller breast implants are “awesome.” Jameson gave Ortiz credit for turning her back onto men. “He’s good at the same things women are,” she said. (Excuse us for a moment as we find something to throw up in. Ah, this saucepan will do.)

— From the show summary on HowardStern.com: “Jenna confessed that she sometimes gets sore because Tito wants sex so often…Jenna also took the opportunity to deny claims that she’s had a botched vaginoplasty; ‘My cookie is beautiful and I love it.’ Tito seemed to agree.” There was also some stuff about porn, Britney Spears, and bejeweled goggles that we won’t reprint.

— Ortiz is coming out with an autobiography in June called It’s Going to Hurt. What’s going to hurt, being outsold by your girlfriend at Borders?

— Ortiz used to be a meth addict.

Note to Tito: Please stop talking about how much the UFC makes, and how much they’re not paying you. It’s like walking around with a big “SUE ME” sign on your back.

(Respect: FiveOunces, MMAJunkie)