It’s hard to express the love we have for you all right now. When we posted our first Chuck Liddell caption contest on Monday, we thought we’d be lucky if we got a couple dozen entries. Well, you guys must really want those signed Iceman: My Fighting Life books, because the contest brought in 100 captions before today’s deadline, and almost all of them were LOL-funny. Seriously, you guys kicked ass, and we had a great time reading your one-liners. In fact, we’re going to give out three autographed books today instead of the two we were originally planning on parting with. This was a very difficult decision, but…
Than: “Yeah, my buddy Tim is outside, he’s down for a gang bang, but be warned his championship belt is gonna bruise you.”
[Ed. note: Oh! It's so topical!]
Colin G: “Hey baby, did you read my book? …… Me neither”
[Ed. note: Good pickup line...great ghost-writer. Jokes aside, our contact at Dutton has assured us that Chuck has read every page of his book — and he loves it!]
Brad: “People say that I don’t train hard anymore, but they have no idea how hard you have to work to get laid with this haircut”
[Ed. note: ...and in just 25 words, Brad has summarized the entire essence of Chuck Liddell.]
Toolman: Chuck: Man…uhhh i tellya wut..man..there’s eh um. yeah dude…for real. i was like….yeah..uh..er..you know whut i’m sayin.
[Ed. note: That probably comes closest to what Chuck was actually saying at the time.]
KLovick Says: What has one thumb and wants to replace your cigarette with his dick?………
[Ed. note: Clever.]
MMA-hole: “Nikki — my Range Rover, 15 minutes. Andre — the bathroom, now.”
[Ed. note: The idea of a pansexual Chuck Liddell terrifies us.]
natureboy: Ultimate Fighter Chuck Liddell attempts to recruit a camera operator for a “3 Girls, 1 Chuck” internet video.
[Ed. note: We love "3 Girls, 1 Chuck." But shouldn't she be a co-star? I don't know if I'd relegate her to the crew...]
beast: Would you mind putting out the cigarette, maam? This is a no smoking area.
[Ed. note: "Plus, my tiny bald friend says you've been using his head as an ashtray."]
RawDawg: “Then I said ‘careful my thumb might be a little cold,’ then POW! Right in the pooper! — Oh hey babe.”
[Ed. note: "...I was just telling my friend about the time I stuck my thumb up your ass."]
Roark: “Sorry lady, I thought that was the belt Rampage took from me!”
[Ed. note: Damn, that is a big belt.]
sean: Iceman Brakes The Ice By Braking a Midgit.
[Ed. note: Lame pun + misspelling "break" twice and "midget" once = quadruple failure points.]
Than, Colin G, and Brad: Please drop a line to email@example.com with your addresses and we’ll get the books out to you as soon as we can. As for the rest of you — we still have seven more autographed Iceman copies left to give away, so come back Monday and we’ll do this aaaaaaall over again.