Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Tag: idiots

The Top Ten Worst UFC Rankings Panelists

(Darren Uyenoyama was released by the UFC after going 0-2 last year. At the time of this writing, three different UFC ranking panelists still have him listed as a top 10 flyweight. Read on for more disturbing facts! / Photo via Getty)

By Cody Severtson

“These panelists may have a direct effect on how much fighters get paid.”

I kept telling myself that as I filtered through each UFC panelist’s ranking data, shaking my head in total disbelief.

For quite some time, MMA media, fighters and fans alike campaigned for better fighter pay. With the UFC announcing a six-year sponsorship deal with Reebok this past Tuesday (totaling an estimated $70 million), we were told that every penny would go into the fighters’ pockets. After all, the UFC’s primary reason for making this deal was to add a layer of professionalism to their organization, one which would make them in a way, similar to other major sports organizations.

So say goodbye to the fight banners, the sponsor-covered shorts, and the walkout shirts! For the next six years, it’s Reebok only, baby! Any sponsors that the fighters and their managers have already secured will be banned from being visible inside the Octagon. Depending on the loyalty of sponsors, we could end up seeing a lot more of this. Conversely, if the UFC does overhaul the ranking system and a fair pay structure is implemented, sponsor loyalty won’t be an issue. A new ranking system should provide an unbiased/accurate/educated selection of each division’s top 15 — a system that will award the UFC’s athletes with the fair and adequate sponsorship money they deserve.

As of right now, a fighter’s sponsorship cut will be tied directly to where they sit in the UFC rankings. That’s right… the same rankings done by the always reliable UFC-approved voting panelists. According to DFW, the current panelist voting system will soon be updated; White aims to narrow down the current field of panelists to a select few “legitimate, credible and ethical guys” in order to gain better results. Unfortunately for White, every “legitimate, credible, and ethical guy” in MMA media has already recognized the blatant conflict of interest this system presents and has refused to participate in the ranking system.

With that said, I have put together a list of the 10 worst panelists currently contributing to the UFC’s divisional rankings. Let’s get started.

10. Bruno Massami ( Pettis came into the UFC with a lot of hype, he was undefeated, the former RFA flyweight champion, and Anthony Pettis’s younger brother. Sergio won his bantamweight debut against short notice opponent and former #9 flyweight Will Campuzano. However, he followed his debut with a submission loss to the unranked Alex Caceres, before bouncing back with a forgettable decision victory over unranked Yaotzin Meza. Massami, like many panelists, may have personal favorites in the UFC, but rankings must be unbiased, objective, and logical. None of those criteria apply when Massami placed Sergio as the #10 bantamweight.

9. Steve Juon (Wrestling Observer) – From my analysis the bantamweight division appeared to give most panelists problems. The division itself had 101 records of questionable rankings. The closest division to having as many problems was middleweight with 28 recorded rankings issues. Now when I analyzed my data it wasn’t just a matter of pointing out who had Tim Kennedy at #7 when I think he should be #8. No, I noted every instance of downright BAD ranking. Steve Juon apparently missed the last few years of the bantamweight division as this is how he has the top names in the division seeded…


Mike Kogan Uses Same Gay Slur Nate Diaz Was Just Suspended For, Is a Complete Fucking Idiot

(The “fag shoes” in question, via @MikeKogan)

By George Shunick

As Jared reminded us today while discussing Josh Thompson’s unfortunate comments regarding gay marriage, the MMA world had managed to go a solid 20 days without a significant figure saying something extraordinarily stupid on social media. The last particular incident involved Nate Diaz’s use of the term “fag,” and was made even more memorable by Mike Kogan’s moronic defense of Diaz’s “Northern California” vernacular. Kogan — Diaz’s manager — drew upon his years of public relations experience and his vast knowledge of etymology…and cited Urban Dictionary as evidence that Diaz’s use of “fag” didn’t constitute a homophobic slur.

Needless to say, people didn’t really buy that.

However, let’s give Kogan the benefit of the doubt here. Let’s say he really doesn’t believe that “fag” is a derogatory slur for homosexuals or a bigoted criticism of something perceived as homosexual behavior. It would mean Kogan has an extraordinarily poor grasp of context, history and sociopolitical reality — which incidentally, is entirely plausible in the case of Nate Diaz — but not to a far greater extent than many other Americans. It’s not justifiable, but perhaps it’s a plausible explanation for his ignorance.

Or at least it might have been, until he tweeted this.


Stockton Stand Up!

It seems that wherever local news cameras go they manage to zero in on the idiots in the crowd almost effortlessly. It’s no different in this footage from Sacramento’s Channel 10, which Steve Cofield thankfully dug up. Bashing an entire city based on the people who find their way on to the evening news is not only easy and kind of unfair, it also turns out to be lots of fun.

For those of us who have always wondered about what Stockton is really like after hearing the Diaz brothers wax poetic about it for years, it is indeed an insight. The ladies who show up around the 0:47 mark to insist that “we aren’t an advocate of bloodshed, although we don’t hate on it if it happens” are a couple of stalwart examples of the kind of girls you might meet at an MMA event (if you’re lucky).

Not content to let the plebes make the point for him, Cofield also refers to a recent study that claimed Stockton had the highest illiteracy rates of any American city with a population over 250,000. Ouch. But I guess if you want a town that breeds its share of tough fighters, you don’t necessarily go looking for the city that issues the most library cards.


Behind the Scenes at Affliction

(Props: MMA Scraps)

We could probably have a long debate about what the high point of this video from Fox News is. Is it the appearance of Stone Cold Steve Austin? The rare spoken English from Fedor Emelianenko? Instead, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s the “Deal or No Deal” girls giggling at the phrase ‘ground-and-pound’, and here’s why:

From where I was sitting in one of the arena’s many press sections, I was within earshot of a couple obnoxious drunk guys wearing Affliction t-shirts (weird, I know). Every time a scantily-clad woman walked by they took it upon themselves to shout “titties!” Because this was an MMA event in southern California — which means even more fake boobs and halter tops than normal — they got plenty of opportunities.

The reactions from the women fell into one of three categories: 1) they ignored it, 2) they smiled, waved, or, in one case, even blew the idiots a kiss ala the UFC Octagon girls, or 3) became visibly upset.

The third reaction came from one of the “Deal or No Deal” girls, who walked by them flaunting her stuff until the inevitable “titties!” remark. She didn’t care for it. She expressed this by glaring at them and making an indignant face that seemed to suggest, ‘I don’t have to take this, I’m on “Deal or No Deal” for Christ’s sake!’ It’s cultural intersections like this that make live MMA events worth all the trouble.


If You’re Looking for Someone to Root Against During the UFC 81 Undercard…

(Salad-tossing dickface.)

…may we humbly suggest Rob Emerson? As mentioned earlier, the Ultimate Fighter 5 alum faces fellow lightweight Keita Nakamura in the undercard of the event that definitely does not feature Cheick Kongo and Heath Herring. What you may not know is that before he went on TUF — and was submitted by Nate Diaz, lost a decision to Corey Hill in a substitution match, and then was half of a bizarre double-KO no-contest with Gray Maynard — Emerson was a member of the Lords of South County, a roving gang of Orange County rich kids who enjoyed rolling up on strangers and beating the shit out of them. (Imagine the crew from Jackass, but replace “sophomoric sense of humor” with “infuriating sense of entitlement.”)

Check out the following news report, which depicts the June 2000 incident that led to Emerson’s first arrest; he was arrested again this year for unknown (though probably equally assholish) reasons. As reporter Chris Blatchford puts it, the crime was unusual because the gang members “are not from an inner city ghetto or a crime-ridden varrio [!], they’re young people from what their parents might call……..good homes.” Of course, the Lords all turn out to be a bunch of pussies who keep diaries and cry at Titanic (seriously). Anyway, when Emerson isn’t surrounded by two dozen of his boyz, he’s actually not that good of a fighter, so Nakamura should have no problem kicking the shit out of him on February 2, thus rebalancing the flow of karma. Fucking prick.

(Good lookin’ out: MMAJunkie)

Wait a minute, we just realized — Emerson is basically who the bad guy in this movie is based on. So it is kinda realistic!