(Now that I’ve successfully taken out Guida via bear pit, I’m just a first round knockout over a late-replacement UFC newbie away from another 40k. BOOM BABY!) 

Chad Mendes, reader of the Necronomicon, personification of the injury curse of 2012, has just lost his third straight opponent to injury in the past few months. Since KOing Cody McKenzie with a body shot back at UFC 148, Mendes has been a cursed man. First, he was expected to face Hacran Dias at UFC on FX 6, until Dias hurt his shoulder and withdrew just days out from the event. Dias was replaced by UFC noob Yaotzin Meza, who was thrashed by Mendes inside of two minutes. Then, Mendes was set to fight Manny Gamburyan at UFC 157, until Manny blew off his thumb with a firecracker or some shit and the bout was cancelled altogether.

Then, Mendes was booked against Clay Guida in “The Carpenter’s” sophomore featherweight appearance at UFC on FOX 7, which goes down on April 20th. But wouldn’t you know it, the usually uninjurable (?) Guida has done injured hisself too (via Sherdog):

Chad Mendes is once again without an opponent, as Clay Guida has suffered an undisclosed injury and will be unable to compete at UFC on Fox 7.

Sherdog.com recently confirmed the development with sources close to the situation, who verified that Mendes is still expected to compete at the April 20 event from the HP Pavilion in San Jose, Calif., though the search for a new opponent has apparently not gone well.

A perennial top contender with recently developed KO power, it’s no shock that Mendes is strapped for opponents in the featherweight division, especially on short notice. Who would you like to see Mendes fight in Guida’s absence? Personally, I gotta go with Don Zimmer, who has been itching for a fight ever since Pedro Martinez backed out of the rematch.

-J. Jones

(…and if you include non-Zuffa fighters who shattered their penises last year, that number jumps up to 2,057.)

Yes, one hundred and four. Triple digits, baby. That startling figure comes to us via MMAFighting.com researcher Steve Borchardt, who tallied up all the injury pullouts by UFC and Strikeforce fighters in 2012, and fed them all into this chronological spreadsheet. (Color key: Injuries to champions are in yellow, all other main event fighters are in red, and co-mainers are in teal. Also, “KO’d by sauna floor when cutting weight” really deserves its own color. An ugly brownish-orange, perhaps.)

We’re all reasonable men and women, right? We know that this explosion in high-profile injury withdrawals can’t really be explained by a “curse,” or bad luck, or terrible coincidence. Grueling training conditions — in which MMA fighters work all year round, scrapping against elite-level teammates rather than paid sparring dummies, executing body-motions that are specifically designed to blow out your knees — has to account for most of it.

But are there other explanations? When you look at all the injuries listed as “Undisclosed” on the chart, you can’t help but speculate…

(You see, kids, this is why we don’t break the fourth rule of Project Mayhem. Photo via Complex)

By Jason Moles

As is customary, nay tradition, around these parts, we’re hitting the eggnog early and often this week — thus, the obligatory Top 10 list to close out another year in the world of mixed martial arts. It’s not all fluff, though: Last year we predicted a champion would test positive for a banned substance and Brock Lesnar would retire. Not bad, huh? So grab a seat while we break out the crystal ball and see what 2013 has in store for us.

1.) Showtime stays in the MMA biz, will announce deal with Invicta FC and others.

MMA is just too popular to completely wash your hands of. Showtime may finally be done with Strikeforce, but that only means they’re now free to partner up with the likes of all-female Invicta FC or the World Series of Fighting, both of which could be looking for more permanent homes after their early success in 2012. Don’t let the Invicta PPV news fool you; they can’t win that battle. No matter who inks the deal, expect Showtime to counter-program at least one UFC event.

2.) A Ronda Rousey loss brings about the swift execution of women’s MMA in the UFC.

(I don’t know, this song seems oddly appropriate.) 

Let me ask you something, Potato Nation; after the unstoppable killing machine that is the 2012 injury curse claimed Tim Means via sauna room KO yesterday, did you think there was any possible way it could get worse? I may not know what your answer is, but I’m going to go ahead and declare you DEAD F*CKING WRONG. Last night’s Bellator 83 main event was supposed to determine the winner of the Season Seven Featherweight Tournament, pitting Shahbulat Shamhalaev against Rad Martinez. But oh, if only life were so simple. Not content with claiming fighters in the days before a fight, the injury curse struck down Shamhalaev with food poisoning during the God damn broadcast last night, forcing the bout to be shuffled to next week’s Bellator 84 card, where one of these two will probably obliterate the testicles of their opponent with a low kick and we can start this tragic experiment all over again.

Now without a main event, the co-main event matchup between former Bellator bantamweight champion Zach Mackovsky and Anthony Leone was bumped up to top billing. But I don’t want to talk about that fight (which Leone out-grappled the undersized Mackovsky en route to a SD victory). I want to talk about the flyweight matchup between Jessica Eye and Bellator 115 pound champ Zoila Gurgel, which despite lasting less than a minute was easily the highlight of a night filled with decisions.

Video and full results after the jump. 

(To be fair, Means’ should have seen something like this coming when he decided to frequent the creepy sauna in the middle of a swamp.) 

You guys remember how the booking of Tim Means and Abel Trujillo — two former convicts — on the undercard of UFC on FOX 5 raised some interesting questions regarding just who the UFC should allow to fight under their banner? Well, we can put that debate to rest for now in the case of Means, as Dana White announced over Twitter just a couple hours ago that “The Dirty Bird” has been pulled from the card for — we shit you not — slipping in the sauna and knocking himself unconscious:

I hope you all are happy, because you kind of predicted this.

(I mean, seriously. Y’know?)

The UFC Injury Curse of 2012 has another big-name trophy to hang on its wall — Forrest Griffin, who will miss his UFC 155 main card match against Phil Davis on December 29th due to a wrecked knee. UFC president Dana White passes along the sad (but at this point completely unsurprising) news:

Forrest Has MCL tear and ACL strain. 20 cc’s of blood removed from his knee and the saga continues at the UFC!!

No word yet on whether Davis will be getting a replacement opponent at the “Dos Santos vs. Velasquez II” event, or if he’ll be pulled from the lineup. Keep in mind that Davis was himself a replacement for Chael Sonnen, who ditched his matchup against Forrest when his TUF 17 coaching opportunity came up.

We’ll update you when we hear more.

(Dominick Cruz, seen here seconds after being made aware that Dominick Cruz had been injured yet again.) 

It just doesn’t end, you guys. It. Doesn’t. Fucking. End.

The insatiable injury curse of 2012 — seemingly fed up with claiming non-injured, active fighters — has somehow grown powerful enough to affect those who were already injured to begin with. NO, IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE.

And while the title may be a little misleading being that bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz didn’t truly re-injure himself, but rather failed to recuperate properly from the ACL injury that has kept him out of action since May, it looks like we won’t be seeing “The Dominator” dominating anything but a Domino’s delivery menu until late 2013 [WORDPLAY]. The newsbroke earlier today that the anterior cruciate ligament Cruz had replaced with that of a cadaver’s following his run on TUF 15 was rejected by his body, forcing the champ to undergo additional surgery in order repair/replace it.

“He’s pissed and disappointed,” remarked Cruz’s trainer Eric Del Fierro, echoing the sentiment of not only MMA fans around the world but that of MMA hack journalists such as myself.

I mean, I’m running out of ways to continue delivering bad news to you guys in this format. Creativity be damned; I feel like a World War 2 messenger at this point, just handing out notifications of death to the families of the deceased, trying to remain as emotionally unavailable as possible while little Jimmy Pocket and his Mom stare at me with tear-filled eyes. No Jimmy, your father isn’t coming home this Christmas. And that really awesome toy you wanted? You won’t be getting that either, because Santa never existed and now your Mom will have to pull double shifts at the diner and sell her body for money nightly just so you can eat canned hot dogs and stay off the street long enough to die with some dignity at age 7, when, following your Mom’s inevitable descent into cocaine and then full-on heroin addiction she’s since developed as a coping mechanism for being ravaged by the local charlatans and bottom-feeders day after day, she will fall asleep with a cigarette in her mouth and burn your house to the ground while you are dreaming of something, anything to remove you from the hellish nightmare your existence has become.

(Just some more surrealist video art via gonzagabjj)

Gabriel Gonzaga hasn’t just been affected by the UFC injury curse — he is the UFC injury curse, in all of its weird permutations. The decision-phobic heavyweight originally found his way back into the Octagon as an injury replacement against Edinaldo Oliveira in January. Then, he had to drop off the chaotic UFC 146 card due to an injury. And now, he’s lost his scheduled opponent at next weekend’s UFC 153 card in Rio, after UFC officials confirmed that Geronimo Dos Santos would be unable to compete. Was Geronimo’s withdrawal injury-related? I don’t know. You tell me.

[UPDATE: Actually it was due to a failed medical exam due to hepatitis B.]

UFC officials haven’t yet confirmed whether they’ll be finding a replacement opponent for Gonzaga on the “Silva vs. Bonnar” card. As MMAJunkie suggests, Gonzaga would theoretically be available to serve as the replacement opponent for Daniel Cormier at the Strikeforce event on November 3rd, which would be better than nothing, I guess. We’ll update you when we know more.

(“Easy, Bubba. Easy. Okay, okay, tap tap tap…TAP! TAP! AHHHH FUUUUUUUCK!! Damn it! I have a fight coming up, you asshole! Why did you do that? Why?!?”)

And so, the 2012 UFC injury bug — which is now thought to be the result of a top-secret government experiment — escapes from the eight walls of the Octagon, and goes forth to inflict suffering on the rest of humanity. As first reported by Morency Sports TV, Frank Mir has been forced to withdraw from his November 3rd Strikeforce meeting with Daniel Cormier, due to an injury. MMAJunkie has confirmed the report, and says that Mir’s injury might be knee-related.

The heavyweight stunt-booking was scheduled to be Cormier’s last appearance in Strikeforce before moving to the UFC, so hopefully Zuffa will be able to hustle up a new opponent for him to keep his transition on schedule. Nothing has been reported yet, so I’m just going to throw out some names: Arlovski. Bonnar. Laupua. Just stop me if my matchmaking genius begins to overwhelm you.

We’ll update you when we know more.

(“What kind of backwards country is this? The game is called Whac-a-Mole, not Whac-a-Capybara, and the animals aren’t supposed to be alive!”)

Just a few hours ago, we promised that a few beautiful knockout videos would successfully help us all blissfully drift into a world where injuries no longer determined both the content of every other CP article and the makeup of every other UFC card, but it seems our vision of an impossibly awesome MMA utopia is merely that…an impossibility.

Be that as it may, some of you might be pleased to hear that amidst the UFC 153 clusterfuck of injuries lies a potential silver lining. According to FightersOnly, who have sited several anonymous sources, a grudge match years in the making between Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen is being looked at as a possible replacement for UFC 153 now that Jose Aldo — or perhaps, the general incompetence of Brazilian drivers — has massacred our dreams of a featherweight title superfight.

Details remain sketchy at the moment, but in a recent interview with Portal do Vale Tudo, Silva stated that he would be more than willing to step up for the good of the UFC and his home country’s fans if asked to do so:

I think fighting in Rio would be great. Under no circumstances could I turn that down. I would love to fight for the crowd in Rio, and if it were against that guy who everybody wants me to face, it would be beautiful.

Spoiler alert: Chael Sonnen is “that guy who everybody wants me to face.”

More on this potential showdown after the jump.

(One of these days, Alex, right to the moon!) 

As I’ve discussed before, being a writer for a “comedic” “MMA” website such as CagePotato has its positives and its negatives. The positives, of course, are the legions of swooning, scantily clad women that are literally willing to do anything to meet Jon Jones, Chuck Liddell, or whomever we are claiming to be incredibly close friends with at the time. There are also the lavish cars, houses, and general respect from your peers that have become a staple of the blogger trade to be grateful for.

But perhaps even greater than the constant influx of trim and general swagger that comes hand-in-hand with the MMA blogger lifestyle are the epic knockout videos we get to post whenever we feel like it under the false guise of “journalism.” And with the great injury curse of 2012 once again putting us all in the dumps, today seems perfect for one such occasion, so join us after the jump for a trifecta of KO’s (and even a flying triangle) to help you cope with the fact that yet another UFC event has been temporarily upended.

(Can you help me, Siri? Well, you can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your shiny, lifeless, screen! And you can give me a bit of fucking good news: a fucking pay-per-view, that actually fucking happens, a fucking title fight, a fucking healthy fighter! Five fucking fights and a ringside seat!)

Well, if the news that Rampage Jackson was out of UFC 153 with an elbow injury wasn’t enough to get you fired up, then maybe this will. Making sure to cap off the summer with a bang, the injury curse of 2012 has struck again. And once again, featherweight champion Jose Aldo is the victim, as he has suffered a foot injury that has forced him out of his UFC 153 bout with Frankie Edgar, whom you may recall was stepping in for an injured Eric Koch. Whom you may recall was originally supposed to face Aldo at UFC 149 until Aldo injured himself for the first time.

It may not have happened yet, but we’re going to go ahead and claim that GSP is out of UFC Whatever with a torn Whachamacallit.

The news was once again delivered by Dana White via his Twitter.

Now Aldo is out with foot injury. Main and co main in the same day!! Another amazing day at the UFC. We have some work to do.

The injury is apparently related to the motorcycle accident Aldo was involved in just under a week ago, which shows us that the injury curse has moved on from simple hope crushing to full-on psychological warfare. Fuck you, injury curse. Fuck you right in the pooper.

So…Edgar vs. Sonnen, anybody?

In related injury news…

(Jared Hamman attempts to pull a fast one on us all at UFC 150. AS IF we couldn’t tell that his leg was clearly photoshopped.) 

Perhaps two-time Bellator middleweight tournament winner Alexander Shlemenko is just a little bitter that rival Hector Lombard vacated his former promotion (and a long-awaited rematch with Shlemenko) to compete in the UFC, or maybe “Storm” is just as tired of seeing all of the UFC cards he is ordering turn to shit as the rest of us. Whatever his end game may be, Shlemenko recently stated in an interview with ValeTudo.ru that he believed many of the injuries that have been plaguing the UFC as of late were more than likely faked by the fighters in order to get out of a fight that was not a good matchup for them. His primary example was Brian Stann:

I can tell you for sure, 100%, I know why there are so many injuries. I personally find UFC fights not as exciting because of all those injuries. There are a lot of background tactics around who’s fighting who; fighters are trying really hard to have a good record in the UFC. If you’ve been offered to fight someone who’s considered a bad match-up, then it’s pretty easy to say ‘hey, I’m injured’.

For example, they offered Brian Stann to fight Hector Lombard. He got injured, and then the next thing you know – he’s fighting Michael Bisping. I can see the logic – for Brian Stann it makes more sense to fight Bisping, he’s simply more popular in the UFC than Hector Lombard. That’s why beating Bisping means more than beating Lombard, who’s a risky opponent.

You can fake every injury. Just tell [UFC doctors] about the symptoms and that’s it.

God Damn it, Alex. Your love of centrifugal forces and general badassery made you one of our favorite fighters, but NO ONE accuses “All American” of ducking a fight. And considering the bullshit-laden excuse your boy Lombard gave us three weeks after putting on one of the worst performances of the year, we’d say it’s a little presumptuous to start calling out other organizations fighters for sparing us a fifteen minute wet fart in advance.

After the jump: Stann’s response, as well as a video of Shlemenko’s most recent fight, which ends with an injury that is physically impossible to fake.

(What is it with these guys and the creepy group photos?) 

If you are at all familiar with how Wordpress (the program that powers this site) works, then you know that there is a seemingly limitless number of categories and options to select when drafting up a given post. One of them, titled “Post Type”, provides several pre-selected categories for us to choose from when determining the content and article type of said post. However, when I attempted to select “Injury” for the umpteenth time this morning, Wordpress would simply not allow it. “I’m sorry, Jared, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” it uttered (yes, our Wordpress is self-aware). And before I knew it, my computer sprouted legs, shoved me aside, and walked out of my life forever.

What I’m getting at is, the injury curse of summer 2012 has gotten so frustrating that it is even beginning to affect the non-emotive machines, forcing me to relocate from my two bedroom brownstone to the dismal public library at which I now reside. The floor smells like piss here, and I’m pretty sure a homeless man is masturbating at a computer not ten feet away from me. Either that, or he is a big UFC fan who also just learned that Josh Koscheck has been forced to withdraw from his UFC 151 co-main event matchup with “Jake Ingleburger”, and is taking his disappointment out on his junk. In either case, this is getting hard to watch.

(I suppose I could write something funny here, but I’d rather ask you to look at the honest to God fear present in Kevin Mulhall’s face as he essentially sticks his hands in a bear trap. Truly chilling stuff.) 

Here are a few news items that you’ll probably find even less surprising than the fact that the Summer 2012 injury curse has claimed yet another victim:

1. Another Floridian came down with a bad case of bath salt-related cannibalism.

2. A Greek triple-jumper was expelled from the Olympics for saying something racist over Twitter. (You may, however, be surprised to learn that it was a pretty hot woman who said it.) 

3. Rotten Tomatoes recently had to shut down its comments section because a couple critics who gave The Dark Knight Rises a bad review were receiving so many death threats that it nearly crashed the server. Yes, death threats.

4. A Georgia man recently set his head on fire as part of a bet he made while hammered at a bar and was hospitalized shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, he survived his injuries.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s something you might find a little more surprising: The latest victim of the injury curse is none other than Rousimar Palhares, who threatened to rip a hole in between earthly dimensions by injuring his own knee during training, subsequently forcing himself to bow out from his scheduled fight with Yushin Okami at UFC 150. You might recall that Palhares was only facing Okami in the first place because Luis Cane injured himself in training as well, but trying to remember who is filling in for who due to injury these days is as impossible as reciting Pi in its entirety. In short, everyone whose name doesn’t rhyme with Schrim Goatsch or Schmanderson Schilva is clearly ducking Yushin Okami.

Join us after the jump to find out which poor bastard will be stepping in to get slaughtered. 

In one final outburst of senseless violence, the UFC 149 Injury Curse claimed multiple victims on fight night, before receding back to the haunted ground that spawned it. We already mentioned that Tim Boetsch broke his foot during the second round of his fight against Hector Lombard, and yesterday Urijah Faber confirmed that he broke a rib during his main event meeting with Renan Barao. The California Kid tweeted out the x-ray above, writing “Congrats 2 @RenanBaraoUFC. He’s a tough dude. Broke my rib in the 1st with a great knee. Thank u 4 all the support.”

So if you were wondering why Boetsch wasn’t quite as active as you expected him to be on Saturday, or why Faber consistently looked a half-step behind his Brazilian opponent, blame the broken bones. And if you were wondering why Cheick Kongo‘s bout with Shawn Jordan turned out to be a hopelessly dull clinching-competition, there’s a similar explanation for that too…

(From L-R: Claude Patrick, political kiss of death Dana White, Brian Ebersole)

Is this kind of thing even newsworthy anymore? The UFC 149 injury curse has gone from eerie to apocalyptic to as dependable as the rising sun. The latest victim: Canadian welterweight Claude Patrick, who has pulled out of his bout with James Head due to an undisclosed injury. Patrick will be replaced on less than three weeks’ notice by chest-hair artist Brian Ebersole, who just increased his UFC record to 4-0 with a decision win over TJ Waldburger at UFC on FX: Maynard vs. Guida last month. Coincidentally, Ebersole also holds a win over Claude Patrick, in a split-decision at UFC 140.

The latest withdrawal pushes UFC 149′s injury body-count to nine: Yoshihiro Akiyama, Thiago Silva, Thiago Alves, Michael Bisping, Jose Aldo, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, George Roop, Siyar Bahadurzada, and now Claude Patrick. If you include fighters who were moved off the card when their opponents came down with injuries (Mauricio Rua, Erik Koch), we’ve entered double-digit territory in terms of lineup changes. To paraphrase Tom Wright, the UFC’s director of operations for Canada, shit happens.

UFC 149 goes down July 21st at Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary. Urijah Faber vs. Renano Barao is still the headliner, and Hector Lombard vs. Tim Boetsch is still the co-main event. We’ll let you know as soon as that changes.

We don’t have an easy way to break this to you, so we’ll just come out and say it: Afghan knockout artist Siyar Bahadurzada has been sent to live with our friend who owns a farm upstate. He’ll be able to frolic in an open field to his heart’s desire, and he’ll have plenty of friends to play with. Because of this, he won’t be fighting at UFC 149 against Chris Clements.

Just kidding, he’s out with an undisclosed injury. What, you actually believed your parents when they told you your dog was living on a farm upstate? That’s adorable.

(These UFC 149 posters may be getting a little grim, but at least their marketing department is being honest for once.) 

*Sigh*

At this point, UFC 149 is kind of like my dog, Zeus. You see, Zeus is one old-ass beagle, whose wrinkled, saggy countenance most closely resembles a wet bag of laundry or an old wicker chair dipped in mayonnaise. Zeus is so old, in fact, that he often trips over his testicles when shuffling his way across the room for a drink of water, or to bark at the ice cream truck as it makes its rounds. But just a few years ago, Zeus was a prime specimen, a real Westminster worthy creature. And as sad as it is to watch him basically devolve from Earl to Baby Sinclair, if you will, I have neither the heart nor the desire to place his fate in my hands and simply put him out of his misery. Plus, who in their right mind would deprive themselves of the endless entertainment that a dog tripping over it’s own testicles provides?

But where I am weak, the UFC brass needs to be strong. If they do not cancel UFC 149 right here and now and give the swindled saps who actually purchased a ticket to this event a full refund, then something terrible is going to happen. I can feel it, like Devon Sawa could feel that Volée Airlines Flight 180 was going to explode, or people with bum knees can feel when it’s going to rain. First it was Sexyama. Then it was Silva. Then Koch. Then Aldo. Then Bisping and even Big Nog. And now, it is being reported that George Roop has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest with Antonio Carvalho.

(A typical WNBA game, or a preview of UFC 147?) 

Wow.

We may have been forced to watch every UFC card planned for this summer slowly disintegrate into a vapid shell of what they once were, but even the precogs we keep chained up in the basement of CP headquarters could not see this coming. Due to the seemingly endless string of injuries that has threatened to consume UFC 147 in a fiery ball of mediocrity, the UFC is offering any fan who already purchased a ticket for said event a full refund. 

It should be noted that this has never happened in the history of the UFC.

Although we imagine most fans who met that criteria likely took to Ebay after it was announced that Vitor Belfort had broken his hand, we still can’t believe that the UFC is essentially admitting defeat on a card that somehow still remains at pay-per-view status. Let us drop some knowledge on you: The last UFC PPV that failed to break the 200k buy mark was UFC 55: Fury, which topped off at a little over 125,000 buys. Featuring what was essentially a squash match heavyweight title fight between Andrei Arlovski and Paul Buentello (which was over before those in attendance could order a soft pretzel), as well as Forrest Griffin vs. Elvis freakin’ Sinosic as the co-main event and Chael Sonnen’s continuing struggle to defend a triangle choke, UFC 55′s pay-per-view numbers were simply an accurate reflection of the card’s weakness.

Needless to say, UFC 147 looks like it is primed to shatter that record by a good fifty or sixty thousand buys in the opposite direction.

(Finally we can look forward to an injury that happens IN the cage.) 

It’s finally happened, Potato Nation. The soil has reached over-saturation point and the paper clip that finally breaks the surface tension has been dropped. Confused? So are we, because even though the UFC held that UFC on FUEL event on an Indian burial ground in Fairfax earlier this year, we were told that everything would be fine. “Florida is a tough market,” they said. “They’re training too hard,” they clamored. But we weren’t fooled by the red herrings, the smoke and mirrors. This is karma for the UFC’s aforementioned acts of stepping on hallowed ground. Those insolent baboons.

The injury curse that has pulled the rug out from the UFC’s summer plans has officially become so frequent that we can’t even finish an article informing you of an injury before another one has already occurred. The chances of us mentioning a fighter within a sentence who isn’t currently injured has dropped to a staggering 0.0126 percent, and we simply don’t know what to do anymore. Begin stockpiling your canned goods and first aid kits, because surely the end times are upon us.

(Wanderlei Silva, seen here mirroring the feelings of everyone who purchased a ticket for any UFC event this summer.) 

The tales of UFC 147-UFC 149 are not unlike the tale of Meg Ryan. What started off as a moderately attractive, if not rather inviting group of cards, has undergone so many face lifts and botched botox injections that they have been left a hollowed, sun-dried husk of what it once was. It has gotten so bad, in fact, that most of us can’t even recognize the frumpy, blonde haired cards we fell in love with in the first place and now must resort to faking it. “It” being interest.

So you’ll forgive our apathy as we inform you that TUF: Brazil finalist Daniel Sarafian has been forced to withdraw from his matchup with fellow finalist Cezar “Mutante” Ferreira less than a week out from UFC 147. UFC.com broke the news:

The Ultimate Fighter Brazil® middleweight favorite Daniel Sarafian, who earned a spot in the finals with an impressive flying-knee knockout, has been injured and cannot compete in this Saturday’s UFC® 147: Silva vs. Franklin II.

More from this story and the tattered remains of the UFC 147 fight card are after the jump.

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“I have no problem with you competing like this, but first you’re going to have to trim those bangs.”

There’s nothing funny about the ‘Injury Curse‘ that’s been pillaging the UFC 149 card of talent, and for once our piss-poor writing isn’t to blame. Last night Sherdog.com broke the news (and what was left of our hearts) that Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira has not fully recovered from the broken arm he suffered courtesy of a Frank Mir kimura back at UFC 140.

Some might say it was wishful thinking when we prematurely celebrated how quickly “Minotauro” was healing; others might say it was a slow news day and that a short video helped fill the void. Either way, Dr. Frankenstein is running low on corpses and won’t be able to swap out Big Nog’s arm in time for his July 21^st duel with the rule breaking hard hitting Cheick Kongo.

Details on Kongo’s opponent and how this card stacks up in the ‘Injury Card Hall Of Fame’ after the jump.