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Tag: injury curse

And Today’s UFC 149 Injury Victim Is…Siyar Bahadurzada

We don’t have an easy way to break this to you, so we’ll just come out and say it: Afghan knockout artist Siyar Bahadurzada has been sent to live with our friend who owns a farm upstate. He’ll be able to frolic in an open field to his heart’s desire, and he’ll have plenty of friends to play with. Because of this, he won’t be fighting at UFC 149 against Chris Clements.

Just kidding, he’s out with an undisclosed injury. What, you actually believed your parents when they told you your dog was living on a farm upstate? That’s adorable.

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And Today’s UFC 149 Injury Victim Is…

An artist's depiction of UFC 149
(These UFC 149 posters may be getting a little grim, but at least their marketing department is being honest for once.) 

*Sigh*

At this point, UFC 149 is kind of like my dog, Zeus. You see, Zeus is one old-ass beagle, whose wrinkled, saggy countenance most closely resembles a wet bag of laundry or an old wicker chair dipped in mayonnaise. Zeus is so old, in fact, that he often trips over his testicles when shuffling his way across the room for a drink of water, or to bark at the ice cream truck as it makes its rounds. But just a few years ago, Zeus was a prime specimen, a real Westminster worthy creature. And as sad as it is to watch him basically devolve from Earl to Baby Sinclair, if you will, I have neither the heart nor the desire to place his fate in my hands and simply put him out of his misery. Plus, who in their right mind would deprive themselves of the endless entertainment that a dog tripping over it’s own testicles provides?

But where I am weak, the UFC brass needs to be strong. If they do not cancel UFC 149 right here and now and give the swindled saps who actually purchased a ticket to this event a full refund, then something terrible is going to happen. I can feel it, like Devon Sawa could feel that Volée Airlines Flight 180 was going to explode, or people with bum knees can feel when it’s going to rain. First it was Sexyama. Then it was SilvaThen Koch. Then Aldo. Then Bisping and even Big Nog. And now, it is being reported that George Roop has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest with Antonio Carvalho.

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Sign of the Apocalypse #103: The UFC is Offering Full Refunds for UFC 147


(A typical WNBA game, or a preview of UFC 147?) 

Wow.

We may have been forced to watch every UFC card planned for this summer slowly disintegrate into a vapid shell of what they once were, but even the precogs we keep chained up in the basement of CP headquarters could not see this coming. Due to the seemingly endless string of injuries that has threatened to consume UFC 147 in a fiery ball of mediocrity, the UFC is offering any fan who already purchased a ticket for said event a full refund. 

It should be noted that this has never happened in the history of the UFC.

Although we imagine most fans who met that criteria likely took to Ebay after it was announced that Vitor Belfort had broken his hand, we still can’t believe that the UFC is essentially admitting defeat on a card that somehow still remains at pay-per-view status. Let us drop some knowledge on you: The last UFC PPV that failed to break the 200k buy mark was UFC 55: Fury, which topped off at a little over 125,000 buys. Featuring what was essentially a squash match heavyweight title fight between Andrei Arlovski and Paul Buentello (which was over before those in attendance could order a soft pretzel), as well as Forrest Griffin vs. Elvis freakin’ Sinosic as the co-main event and Chael Sonnen’s continuing struggle to defend a triangle choke, UFC 55′s pay-per-view numbers were simply an accurate reflection of the card’s weakness.

Needless to say, UFC 147 looks like it is primed to shatter that record by a good fifty or sixty thousand buys in the opposite direction.

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Rousimar Palhares Stepping Up to Face Yushin Okami at UFC 150 and You’ll Never Guess Why


(Finally we can look forward to an injury that happens IN the cage.) 

It’s finally happened, Potato Nation. The soil has reached over-saturation point and the paper clip that finally breaks the surface tension has been dropped. Confused? So are we, because even though the UFC held that UFC on FUEL event on an Indian burial ground in Fairfax earlier this year, we were told that everything would be fine. “Florida is a tough market,” they said. “They’re training too hard,” they clamored. But we weren’t fooled by the red herrings, the smoke and mirrors. This is karma for the UFC’s aforementioned acts of stepping on hallowed ground. Those insolent baboons.

The injury curse that has pulled the rug out from the UFC’s summer plans has officially become so frequent that we can’t even finish an article informing you of an injury before another one has already occurred. The chances of us mentioning a fighter within a sentence who isn’t currently injured has dropped to a staggering 0.0126 percent, and we simply don’t know what to do anymore. Begin stockpiling your canned goods and first aid kits, because surely the end times are upon us.

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And the Plague Continues: TUF Brazil Finalist Daniel Sarafian Injured, Out of UFC 147


(Wanderlei Silva, seen here mirroring the feelings of everyone who purchased a ticket for any UFC event this summer.) 

The tales of UFC 147-UFC 149 are not unlike the tale of Meg Ryan. What started off as a moderately attractive, if not rather inviting group of cards, has undergone so many face lifts and botched botox injections that they have been left a hollowed, sun-dried husk of what it once was. It has gotten so bad, in fact, that most of us can’t even recognize the frumpy, blonde haired cards we fell in love with in the first place and now must resort to faking it. “It” being interest.

So you’ll forgive our apathy as we inform you that TUF: Brazil finalist Daniel Sarafian has been forced to withdraw from his matchup with fellow finalist Cezar “Mutante” Ferreira less than a week out from UFC 147. UFC.com broke the news:

The Ultimate Fighter Brazil® middleweight favorite Daniel Sarafian, who earned a spot in the finals with an impressive flying-knee knockout, has been injured and cannot compete in this Saturday’s UFC® 147: Silva vs. Franklin II.

More from this story and the tattered remains of the UFC 147 fight card are after the jump.

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Today’s UFC 149 Casualty: Big Nog’s Arm Not Ready for Battle, Shawn Jordan to Face Cheick Kongo

“I have no problem with you competing like this, but first you’re going to have to trim those bangs.”

There’s nothing funny about the ‘Injury Curse‘ that’s been pillaging the UFC 149 card of talent, and for once our piss-poor writing isn’t to blame. Last night Sherdog.com broke the news (and what was left of our hearts) that Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira has not fully recovered from the broken arm he suffered courtesy of a Frank Mir kimura back at UFC 140.

Some might say it was wishful thinking when we prematurely celebrated how quickly “Minotauro” was healing; others might say it was a slow news day and that a short video helped fill the void. Either way, Dr. Frankenstein is running low on corpses and won’t be able to swap out Big Nog’s arm in time for his July 21st duel with the rule breaking hard hitting Cheick Kongo.

Details on Kongo’s opponent and how this card stacks up in the ‘Injury Card Hall Of Fame’ after the jump.

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