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Tag: injury

Gross Video of the Day: Gabriel Gonzaga’s Broken Hand Can Also Be Used as a Flotation Device

The hard-flung overhand rights that Gabriel Gonzaga launched at Stipe Miocic during Saturday’s UFC on FOX 10 co-main event may have hurt him worse than they hurt his opponent. Gonzaga came out strong in the first round of the heavyweight scrap, only to grow visibly fatigued and inactive as the fight wore on. Ultimately, “Napao” lost a unanimous decision.

Breaking his right hand early in the fight may or may not have had a lot to do with that, but what is for darn sure is that the Brazilian’s paw was straight jacked-up after the bout. MMA House has released a video of a hand they say is Gonzaga’s taken from what appears to be backstage in the United Center or a hospital room Saturday night.

Check it out above. If you’re a hearty soul, go ahead and try it while eating lunch.

The top of “Napao’s” hand is cartoonishly swollen and puffy, kind of like there’s a fat stack of oatmeal cookies underneath his skin. Why did my mind choose that as an analogy? Is it bad that now I want cookies?

Anyway, Gonzaga deserves a cookie after that disgusting injury, especially after losing. Go get yours, ‘Zaga.

- Elias Cepeda

Related: Gross Photo of the Day: Anthony Njokuani’s Hand Doesn’t Even Look Like a Hand Anymore

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BREAKING: Dominick Cruz Tears Groin & Vacates Title, Faber vs. Barao II at UFC 169


(“That’s UFC Bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz leading today’s pack…wait a minute…he appears to be veering off the track and…yep, he’s headed for the medical tent. This cannot be good, ladies and gentlemen.” Photo via Getty.)

To borrow a phrase from the Co-Main Event Podcast, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”

Dominick Cruz is injured. A-G-A-I-N. Groin tear this time. He has vacated the bantamweight title (a lot of that going around lately…) and in his absence, interim champion Renan Barao has been promoted to undisputed champ and will rematch Urijah Faber at UFC 169 with his first official defense on the line. The announcement was made by Dana White on Sportscenter at 4:30 EST.

Faber will be fighting on less than a month’s notice. It should be noted that the last time these two met, the result was the worst card of the year.

All things considered, I’m kind of excited for this. No, seriously. It’s not just that my New Year’s Resolution was to be less cynical (also, stop waking up naked in cornfields with blood on my hands). This has been a long time coming for Cruz.

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UFC on FOX 9 is Officially Cursed: Injured Matt Brown Out of Fight With Carlos Condit


(If only the discs in Brown’s back could’ve been “immortal” too. / Photo via Getty)

We don’t want to freak you out, but curses are real. Our last five posts about UFC on FOX 9 have all been injury related. Our sixth post about the event is worst of all: Matt Brown is out of his fight with Carlos Condit due to a back injury.

The best fight left on the card after a series of injuries ravaged it is gone now. If you’re not keeping score, here’s a rundown of how injury-plagued this fight card has been:

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Anthony “Rumble” Johnson vs. Mike Kyle Is Simply Never Going to Happen


(Ian McCall’s broken hand is laughing at you right now, Mike.)

In the very brief history of The World Series of Fighting, Anthony Johnson vs. Mike Kyle has been booked on two separate occasions yet has never come to fruition. It probably never will.

The pair was first scheduled to collide in the main event of WSOF 5 last September, until “Rumble” was forced to pull out from the bout with an injury and replaced by Andrei Arlovski (who eventually defeated Kyle via unanimous decision). The pair was then rescheduled to throw down in the main event of WSOF 7 on December 7th. A press release sent out earlier this morning, however, informs us that the fight has once again been scrapped. Did I mention that it will likely never happen ever?

“I’m as disappointed as anyone that we’re forced to cancel this fight, but Mike just could not compete with his broken toe, and we simply could not find a suitable opponent for Anthony on such short notice,” World Series of Fighting President Ray Sefo said.

“That said, we are fortunate that we still have a fantastic championship matchup between Georgi Karakhanyan and Lance Palmer that will now serve as our main event, and I think fans are still going to enjoy an incredible fight card.”

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The Curse is On: Kelvin Gastelum *and* Jamie Varner Pull Out of UFC on FOX 9 With Injuries [UPDATED]


(“You think that was impressive? I once beat a guy whose hype train was THIS BIG!” Photo via Getty.) 

Not this shit again.

UFC on FOX 9: Pettis vs. Thomson Johnson vs. Benavidez II may not go down until December 14th, but if the injuries keep piling up at their current pace, THERE’S NOT EVEN GOING TO *BE* A DECEMBER. (*cue dramatic gopher*)

First, we informed you that newly-crowned lightweight champion Anthony Pettis was forced out of the evening’s main event with a(nother) knee injury. Then, we broke the sad news that everyone’s favorite homeless-bashing creepster, Ian McCall, was pulled from the card due to a hand injury. And now, MMAJunkie passes along word that both TUF 17 winner Kelvin Gastelum *and* former WEC champ Jamie Varner have been bitten by the injury bug as well, leaving Court McGee and Pat Healy, respectively, without opponents for the event.

As of this write-up, neither fighter’s camp has disclosed an official injury or a timetable for Gastelum or Varner’s return. Our theory: Gastelum and Varner, besties for lyfe, snuck off to London to see the Catching Fire premiere and attend a scrapbooking workshop. Unicorn stickers will abound.

We are currently reaching out to Nate Diaz for a comment on why the UFC continues to “pay these pussys,” but for now, we can only suggest that any current UFC on FOX 9 ticket holder starts burning sage to cleanse the card of evil spirits.

[UPDATE]

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Gruesome (Also, Stupid) Injury of the Day: Rony Jason Punches Wall, Juliennes Arm Backstage at ‘Fight Night 32′ [UPDATED]


(MOOOOOOOONDAYYYYYYYYYS!!!!!!!)

Update: The Brazilian MMA Athletic Commission has given Rony Jason a 30-day suspension for unsporstmanlike conduct due to the backstage incident, which will go into effect after his 180-day medical suspension is completed.

Perhaps one of the lesser talked about moments from last weekend’s finish-heavy-star-scarce Fight Night 32 event was that of the main card-opening bout between Jeremy Stephens and Rony Jason. In his second fight at featherweight, “Lil Heathen” managed to finish the TUF: Brazil winner the only way he knows how: via uber-violent knockout.

The finish came just 40 seconds into the first round, ending a three fight UFC win streak for Jason and making for his first loss since 2009. While the knockout loss would have probably earned Jason a two-ish month suspension, the injury he suffered in the locker room after the fight will likely keep him sidelined for quite a while longer.

MMAFighting is reporting that apparently Jason didn’t take his loss to Stephens with the grace and poise we have come to expect from Brazilians. No, he instead chose to punch himself in the face (twice) and elbow a wall backstage, slicing himself to pieces in the process and requiring 22 stitches to fix by the time all was said and done. Said Jason through the lens of hindsight:

I hurt my elbow, but I’m okay. I was crying, angry with my loss, and I landed my elbow on the door. It’s hurt, but didn’t break any bones. I was just devastated at that moment.

I’ve trained for a long time for this fight. I was undefeated for four years. Unfortunately, this is an individual sport and I have to deal with it.

I needed 15 stitches in my elbow and seven over my eye. I punched my head twice after the fight, I was so angry. But that’s nothing compared to my loss. I’m devastated.

Locker room walls. They’re this year’s haunted saunas.

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Gunnar Nelson Rolled His Truck Into an Icelandic River Over the Weekend


(A photo of the damage posted by passenger Þráinn Kolbeinsson.)

After bursting onto the UFC welterweight scene with a pair of victories over DaMarques Johnson and Jorge Santiago at UFC on FUEL 5 and 7, respectively, emotionless Icelandic cyborg killer Gunnar Nelson has hit something of a rough patch lately. First, he was forced out of his UFC 160 fight with Mike Kyle due to injury (or as he called it, a “system malfunction”), and just last weekend, he went and crashed his pickup truck into an Icelandic river while attempting to escape the evil cybernetic lab in which he was constructed. The gall of some people things.

Nelson’s creator/manager, Halli Nelson, relayed the events to MMAViking, making sure to inform us that his robot son will require only minor repairs before forging ahead with his quest to kill Sarah Connor:

The pickup he was in (they were 4 in the car and Gunnar was in the passenger front seat) went of the icy road and rolled down the hill 3-4 times.

Gunnar is fine but he had to have some stitches in his arm. It (truck) ended up on it’s wheels in Þjórsá, this is Iceland’s longest river. It’s a glacier river with very hard current. If the car had gone one meter further into the river it would have hit deep water and the current would have taken it.

All of them got away with scratches basically even though Gunnar had to have around 10-11 stitches in his arm, he’s fine and will be ready to start training again in a short while.

Right, Halli. Stitches. 

Feel free to wish Nelson a smooth recovery over on his Twitter page, but we’re pretty sure he has become sentient to the point that he refuses to treat other forms of technology as subordinates.

-J. Jones

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Josh Koscheck to Motorboat the Ass of Tyron Woodley at UFC 167


(“I guess, just don’t play truth or dare with Rakishi is the main point of my story, Joe.” Photo via MMAPro.)

It appears as if Josh Koscheck has recovered rather quickly from the undisclosed injury that forced him to pull out of his fight with Demian Maia scheduled for UFC 163. In fact, the former welterweight title challenger and “five star guy” according to Ronnie from the Jersey Shore (unconfirmed) has already been booked to face former Strikeforce welterweight title challenger Tyron Woodley at UFC 167.

It’s probably the best news old Fluffin Top has heard in the better part of a year. After dropping back-to-back fights for the first time in his MMA career, many assumed that Koscheck’s pairing with the win-streaking Maia was the UFC’s way of putting the TUF 1 alum in a do-or-die situation. While that could still be the case for his fight with Woodley, at least Koscheck has been given a far more winnable matchup (or so it would seem). Are we insinuating that Koscheck faked an injury to duck Maia and get an easier opponent? Yes, that’s exactly what we’re saying.

Woodley has also seen some mixed results since transitioning the UFC back in February. After KO’ing Jay Hieron in his promotional debut at UFC 156, “The Chosen One” (whose nickname doesn’t hold a candle to “The Nsane 1“) was stifled by the ultimate stifler, Jake Shields, at UFC 161. It was a decision that some saw as controversial and most saw as “Oh, I was grabbing a ten dollar hoagie during that one.”

Who you like, Taters?

-J. Jones

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“Rumble” Out, Arlovski in Against Mike Kyle at WSOF 5 Main Event


(We know we’ve beaten this horse to death, but the guy on the left USED TO FIGHT AT F*CKING WELTERWEIGHT.)

Some mixed news out of the World Series of Fighting, as news broke yesterday that Anthony “Rumble” Johnson, who was slated to brutally KO the recently un-retired Mike Kyle at WSOF 5 in September, has been forced to pull out from the headlining fight. Although Johnson’s camp is citing a “training injury” as the reason for his withdrawal, our inside sources tell us that Rumble actually suffered an “empathy implosion” of his ACL while watching the Korean Zombie/Jose Aldo fight car wreck last weekend. Just when you thought you’ve heard it all.

Thankfully, the man stepping up on short notice to take Rumble’s place will be none other than the last man to be defeated by him, former UFC heavyweight champion Andrei Arlovski. “The Pit Bull” has not fought since his aforementioned loss at WSOF 2, where he dropped a unanimous decision to Johnson in an entertaining slugfest.

While we imagine that Kyle is probably elated to learn that he is now fighting a guy he stands a decent chance of actually knocking out, expect him to be a huge underdog heading into this one nonetheless. Minus his setback at the hands of Johnson, Arlovski has gone 4-0 with 1 NC since exiting Strikeforce back in 2011 (well, 5-0 if you also happen to think that ONE FC’s stance on soccer kicks is f*cking ridiculous). Kyle, on the other hand, recently scored a quick KO over Travis Wiuff in his comeback bout last May.

Anybody liking “MAK” for the upset here?

-J. Jones

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Despite Actually Losing the TUF 17 Finale, Everyone is Still Terrified of Uriah Hall


(Gold Bond foot lotion: So soothing, it’ll knock you right off your motherfucking feet.) 

Since we know how much you guys love a good old fashioned conspiracy theory, try this one on for size: Everyone in the middleweight division is still scared shitless of Uriah Hall and will do anything within their power to avoid fighting him. Yes, despite the fact that he dropped a unanimous decision to Kelvin Gastelum in his UFC debut, Hall seemingly cannot find an opponent brave (or healthy) enough to face him at UFC on FOX Sports: Shogun vs. Sonnen on August 17th.

First, Nick “mumblegumblemurglegurgle” Ring was scheduled to face Hall at the event. Then we posted this video, then Ring suspiciously went down with the first “blown asspussy” in UFC history. Ring was quickly replaced by Hall’s fellow TUF 17 alum, Josh Samman, and everything seemed to be back on track. Until yesterday, that is, when Samman likely realized that he would never be able to complete his Ethnography of Women and Violence in Post-war Guatemala thesis while comatose. Subsequently, Samman has also been forced to withdraw from his fight with Hall, paving the way for a certain UFC veteran (and Boston native) to reclaim the spotlight…

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