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UPDATE: Jose Aldo’s Rib *Not* Broken, McGregor Fight Still On For UFC 189


(And he couldn’t be more thrilled, Joe!)

Today is a good day, Nation. The best, even.

After initial reports Tuesday claimed that Jose Aldo had fractured a rib in training and would most likely be removed from “the most anticipated featherweight fight of all time” at UFC 189, the UFC released a statement earlier today rebuffing those claims and offering a beacon of hope in the dreary, dystopic landscape that MMA fans have long grown accustomed to (no hyperbole).

That statement is after the jump.

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BREAKING: Jose Aldo Fractures Rib. UFC 189 Headliner in Jeopardy. God is Dead.


(The nightmare begins. via McGregor’s Twitter.)

(*inhales deeply*) (*buries face in couch pillow*)

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

We all knew that this day would come. Between the next-level trash-talk, the unprecedented world tour, the insane promos — both of which were described by Dana White as “the most expensive ever” – and the talks that the event would need to sell 1 million+ pay-per-views for the UFC to break even (which early figures indicated would happen), we knew that the MMA Gods would simply never allow the UFC 189 megafight between Conor McGregor and Jose Aldo to come to fruition. We knew this, yet we held out hope.

Which is why, perhaps more than ever before, it hurts so much to say this.

According to various sources (but first broke by Combate’s Anna Hissa), Jose Aldo fractured a rib in training early this morning. Two and a half weeks out from UFC 189. While his fight with McGregor has yet to be officially called off, one has to imagine that it’s only a matter of time.

God. Dammit.

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UFC 186 Loses TJ Dillashaw, And Therefore All Fan Interest, to Rib Injury


(WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT, TJ? CAN’T YOU SEE THAT *WE’RE* THE ONES IN REAL PAIN?!! via Getty.)

Perhaps the most shocking thing about UFC 185 was not the pair of title fight upsets that occurred that night, but that all of the fighters competing in said title fights even managed to make it to fight night at all. There aren’t many injury-free fighters like Jeremy Horn these days, to the point that the UFC is forced to abandon plans for a card containing just one title fight more often than not, or just cancel the card altogether. With UFC 186, they were attempting to do the impossible again, booking both the TJ Dillashaw-Renan Barao bantamweight title fight rematch and a flyweight bout between champion Demetrious Johnson and Kyro…Kyjo…some other guy.

What I’m saying is, we probably shouldn’t be that surprised to learn that one of those 2 title fights (the one we were interested in, more specifically) will no longer be happening.

Details after the jump. 

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Chris Weidman Injured Again, Rousey vs. Zingano Now Headlines UFC 184


(“Okay, Al, you need to get back on your feet and…dammit, there goes the other knee.” Via Getty.) 

I know what you’re thinking, “A champion who can’t stay healthy? WHAT SPORT IS THIS?”

Well, it’s MMA, dum-dum. Nothing ever goes according to plan; just ask Alexander Gustafsson. Or middleweight champ Chris Weidman, for that matter, who has once again been forced out of his bout with Vitor Belfort due to injury. We now kick it to our man in the field, Bunk Moreland, for analysis…

Details after the jump. 

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Oh Great, Now Raphael Assuncao Is Injured Too


(This is how you repay a man for doing a great deed, God? WELL TO HELL WITH YOU! Photo via Getty)

The hits just keep on coming in the bantamweight division, ladies and gentlemen. I don’t mean literal hits, of course, because that would imply that any of the fighters in said division are healthy enough to throw a punch or two every now and again.

Let’s just get this over with: Mere hours after word broke that Dominick Cruz had injured his *other* ACL and would be out of action indefinitely, Raphael Assuncao (a.k.a the guy who would be next in line for a title shot should Cruz get injured) announced via Twitter that he had suffered an injury in training and would also be out indefinitely.

And just like that, the last fuck given about the bantamweight division floated away with the passing breeze.

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Injury Roundup: Jose Aldo Hospitalized With Kidney Stones, Conor McGregor Rumored to Have Busted Hand


(Because fuck it, this video is just *adorable*.)

EVERYONE JUST CALM DOWN, ALRIGHT!! Jose Aldo‘s UFC 179 rematch with Chad Mendes is not — I repeat, is not – in danger of being cancelled. UFC 179 WILL NOT be a repeat of UFC 176 a.k.a “The event that Jose Aldo’s cervical spine injury murdered.” And just because Aldo has said he was fine when he was injured in the past, only to later pull out of a fight because he *wasn’t* actually fine, doesn’t mean he’ll do it again. So just CALM. DOWN.

But yes, several of the UFC’s totally reliable sources have confirmed that Jose Aldo did spend a day laid up in the hospital due to a kidney stone, which he expelled within the day and was released. As Aldo’s coach and manager Andre Pederneiras told Combate:

Aldo has this renal calculi issue since he was 16 years old. After his fight against ‘Korean Zombie,’ he also expelled a stone. Same thing last week. It started with a little pain, he was then hospitalized, took some serum and anti-inflammatory, and then he expelled the stone.

For all you dum-dums out there, “renal calculi” is just doctor speak for a kidney stone. But again, EVERYTHING IS FINE…

OK, NOW WE CAN PANIC!!!!

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Demian Maia Diagnosed With Bone Infection in Shoulder, Out Indefinitely


(A bone infection is one thing, but a case of nipple eyes? There’s no coming back from that.) 

A fun fact about Demian Maia: In his 19 fight UFC career, the Jiu-Jitsu ace had *never* pulled out of a scheduled contest. Until last weekend, that is, when a bone bruise in his shoulder saw him replaced by Jordan Mein against Mike Pyle at Fight Night 49.

Unfortunately, it appears that Maia’s injury has developed into something much more serious, which has postponed his return to the octagon indefinitely. MMAFighting has the details:

[Maia] suffered a bone bruise in his shoulder while training, which later developed a staph infection. That staph infection has now led to a bone infection, which hospitalized the Brazilian welterweight this past week.

Maia’s manager Eduardo Alonso told UFC Tonight’s Ariel Helwani that Maia is being treated for osteomyelitis, a serious bone infection commonly caused by bacteria. Alfonso said that the infection is on Maia’s right clavicle bone, and will require a six-week antibiotics treatment through IVs, and then follow with a course orally.

As if that wasn’t bad enough already…

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Jon Jones Injures Leg, Fight With Daniel Cormier Moved to UFC 182 on January 3rd [FUUUUUUUUUUCK]

\
(Yeah, “postponed.” Like we don’t all know what that really means.)

Let’s be honest, the past 24 hours have been nothing short of miserable for us. And by “us” I mean, like, humanity. It has been a day that saw beloved actor/comedian Robin Williams pass and woman-beating piece of shit War Machine (see also: Oden, G) continue to sit somewhere inhaling air (Canada, maybe?). It was a day which all but confirmed that atheism is the right way to go. And now, this bullshit.

Thanks to an ill-timed “leg injury” (that is being reported as everything from a torn meniscus to a sprained ankle, or possibly both), Jon Jones has been forced out of his UFC 178 main event title fight with Daniel Cormier. As a result, the fight has been moved to UFC 182 at the MGM Grand on January 3rd.

Taking the place of Jones vs. Cormier in the main event of UFC 178 will be Demetrious Johnson‘s flyweight title fight against Chris Cariaso, which if you recall, was originally booked as the *co* main event of UFC 177. In one fell swoop, UFC 178′s estimated pay-per-view buys have gone from 1 million+ guaranteed to 250k if it’s lucky. But I can’t wait to see how the UFC tries to sell me this one as worthy of $60 (Hint: It rhymes with Conor McGregor. It’s Conor McGregor.)

No word yet if Jones’ injury is a delayed reaction from getting hit by Cormier’s *other* shoe as I speculate, but one thing’s for sure: Bones won’t be literally killing anyone anytime soon.

We’ll update you on this story as it develops.

-J. Jones

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Urijah Faber Off UFC Japan Card, Replaced By the Last Guy He Beat


(With a cleft like that, Glazer is committing borderline sexual harassment here. Photo via Faber’s instagram.)

Last week (or maybe earlier this week, I’ve been drinking a lot lately), we informed you that Urijah Faber had been booked to face some guy who threw his last opponent out of the ring at Fight Night 52: Hunt vs. Nelson (a.k.a “The Japan Card”). I think his name was Masupingpong Toyatasuzuki, but then again, I’m *incredibly* racist.

In any case, word broke earlier today that Faber has been forced out of said matchup with said guy who threw his last opponent out of the ring due to an undisclosed injury (lotta that going around lately). As luck would have it, the UFC quickly found an entertaining, if slightly less known fighter to replace Faber: TUF 12 alum Alex Caceres, a.k.a the last guy Faber beat. (This means that now would be a good time to set down the bong, Alex.)

Faber and Caceres met at UFC 175 in the always coveted prelim main event slot, with Faber emerging victorious by third round submission via Hulk arms. Shamalamadingdong, on the other hand, will be making his UFC debut, having finished his last six fights in a row before throwing that poor sonofabitch out of the ring. God, I wish there was a video available of that fight.

Predictions, please.

-J. Jones

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Here Are Some Pics of Ronda Rousey’s and Uriah Hall’s Nasty Injuries


(Photo via Getty)

UFC 175 was a great card, but its gravitas was lessened if you were among the squeamish.

What happened?

We’ll start off with the least serious injury first: Ronda Rousey’s hand stitches.

Conceptualizing how Ronda Rousey could’ve possibly gotten injured in her 16-second OBLITERATION of Alexis Davis is beyond the mental faculties of mid-tier MMA bloggers. Somehow it happened though. Rousey hurt her hand, and even had stitches on it by the end of the right. Joe Rogan stated this was why she couldn’t headline UFC 176 in August.

See two photos of the injury that have been circulating on Twitter after the jump…

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