(Props: MMA THE ZONE via MiddleEasy, once again)

As Ace Rothstein might say, “the probability on one [double-knockout] is a million-and-a-half to one. On three [fights in a single month] it’s in the billions. It cannot happen, would not happen, you fuckin’ mo-mo, whatsa matta wit you??”

The fact that we saw double KO’s twice already in March — this clean double-dinger and this epic stumble-fest — is a statistical anomaly on par with Wanderlei Silva winning by choke. And bizarrely enough, it almost happened again in a fight between Kerwin Sherrill and Derek Thompson at MCF6 in North Platte, Nebraska, on Saturday. This time, it seemed like the referee’s utter shock is the only thing that prevented him from stopping the fight an immediate no-contest/draw/whatever it is that happens when two guys dummy each other up at the same time.

Thompson went on to win the match, and likely claimed that he was “never really that hurt” in his post-fight interview.

(Don’t try this at home, kids. / Props: Peezy P via Deadspin)

Among pro-wrestling moves, aerial techniques are about as high-risk/high-reward as they come. Brock Lesnar nearly ended his career fucking up a shooting-star press at Wrestlemania XIX, and at a Beyond Wrestling show in Rhode Island on September 30th, Atlanta-based wrestler Charade botched one even worse, under-rotating during a moonsault and landing directly on the top of his head. The horrific impact fractured Charade’s skull, and immediately silenced the meager crowd. But Charade — working off of pure muscle memory — remained conscious and actually kicked out his opponent’s first attempt at a pin before letting the match come to a merciful conclusion.

Beyond Wrestling is hosting a charity dinner/event this Sunday in Bridgewater, MA, to raise money for Charade’s medical expenses.

(This pretty much says it all.) 

Whenever I am involved in a discussion regarding crime and punishment, I am often dubbed a “sociopathic”, a “loony”, or a “stay the fuck away from me and my family” kind of guy as a result of my extreme view on how people should be disciplined. Society is overpopulated and ever-increasing, so it is my belief that we should take everyone from the convicted pedophiles and murders of the world down to the sue happy whackjobs, load them into a jumbo jet, and crash it into a mountain. Those whom I have these conversations with often retort that I should have more faith in humanity, that people are inherently good and are capable of change.

And then a story like this surfaces and drags them deeper into the murky cesspool of human existence in which my faith currently lies.

Today’s story comes to us out of St. Louis, where a local woman recently released an abhorring video on Facebook (a.k.a society’s douche) in which she not only prods her infant daughter into fighting another local girl, but gives her a few pointers while she carries out the despicable act. Unfortunately, no charges have been filed at this point, so the woman’s name has yet to be released, likely out of fear that her neighbors would tie her to a fence post and take turns kicking her in the vagina with steel-toed boots in order to ensure that she never reproduces again, as they so rightfully should.

Video after the jump. 

(We don’t even know where to start.)

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

It appears that, distraught over his inability to get fired from the UFC, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has moved on to phase two of Operation: Batshit Condor. If you recall, phase one began with a DVD copy of The Secret and a six pack of Red Bull and ended with a high speed chase across Southern California. If thi video is any indication, phase two will undoubtedly end in the death of millions.

Perhaps realizing that his rap album won’t be climbing up the charts anytime soon, Jackson decided to return to his acting…I guess you’d call them, roots? The video that awaits you after the jump, which comes courtesy of FilmOn.com, is entitled “How To Pick Up a Gurl – Fast” with Rampage Jackson.

Prepare yourselves for this one, ladies and gentlemen.

You’ve probably heard by now that Kim Jong-il is dead. No, he was not killed by the hands of Hans Blixs and no, the above video is not a collection of clips from the 2002 fake karate film Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. The sad reality is that what you are watching is simply what the former North Korean dictator’s bodyguards went through on a daily basis. Unreleased until a few hours ago (shocking), the footage is…uh…impressive to say the least, but not without that extra bit of crazy thrown in to let you know this is a KJi joint.

According to the narrator, il’s bodyguards are forced to “hit something” from the moment they wake up, whether that be a giant, cement block attached to another guard’s face, or a two-by-four placed on another’s neck. The rest of their day, however, is not that different from what many of us do to make a living here in America:

(Two brave athletes battle for the X-FENCE welterweight title, previously vacated by Ash Williams.)

By Jonathan Shrager

Over the past two decades, Mixed Martial Arts has evolved from a no-holds-barred freak show to a heavily regulated, network television ready enterprise that is accepted by a large slice of the general public. But even with the sport’s modern improvements and safeguards, there are still detractors who contend that MMA is nothing more than low-bred street-fighting operating under the guise of an organized competition.

In honor of the upcoming DVD release of Arena — a truly insane modern-gladiator flick starring Samuel L. Jackson and Kellan Lutz — we thought we’d give the MMA critics some perspective by presenting a list of the most brutal and dangerous combat “sports” ever invented. From shock-fighting to bear-baiting, they defy logic, celebrate gratuitous violence, and remind us just how far the human race has come Enjoy…

For more dangerous fun, check out the latest Sony Action Unleashed DVDs!