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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Jacob Volkmann

WSOF 6 Recap: Almost All of the Guys You’ve Heard of Lost


(Jon Fitch grimaces at his first taste of New York weather / Via Getty)

Bellator is where the bad UFC castoffs go and, from what we’ve seen so far, World Series of Fighting is where the good UFC castoffs go—the ones who shouldn’t have been fired because they were legitimately talented or were in the UFC’s own top-10 rankings when they were let go.

But at WSOF 6, the tried and true formula of putting ex-UFC fighters with name value against fighters without Wikipedia pages failed. Nearly all the fighters that you’re reading this recap for lost.

Jacob Volkmann? He lost a unanimous decision to Pride vet Luiz Firmino. Maybe Volkmann’s head wasn’t in the game because Obamacare passed or something.

Miguel Torres lost too, sadly. The unheralded Pablo Alfonso dispatched the former WEC champ in the first round. He rocked Torres with punches which ultimately set up a guillotine choke finish at 3:05. Torres was once 37-1. Now he’s 40-7 and just lost decisively to a no-name (who’s record was 7-5 heading into the fight) on the prelims of a minor league show. Can it get much worse? Torres doesn’t have a comeback in him. And at age 32, the problem is both the years and the mileage. If Torres doesn’t retire, he might be in for a rough, Jens Pulver-like future.

Remember Joe Lauzon‘s younger brother Dan who was in the UFC back in 2006 at the young age of 18, losing to Spencer Fisher? Remember when he returned in 2010 and lost to both Cole Miller and Efrain Escudero. After the two failed stints in the UFC, Lauzon won five fights in a row on the regional scene. His luck didn’t continue at WSOF 6. The man with the hardest to pronounce last name in MMA, Justin Gaethje, cut Lauzon’s legs out from under him throughout the first round. In the second round, Lauzon was slow and immobile enough for Gaethje to capitalize on it with a right hook and an uppercut which put Lauzon’s lights out.

Find out what happened to Jon Fitch and Josh Burkman, as well as the complete results of the card after the jump.

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Insane Story of The Day: Jacob Volkmann Blacked Out, Hit His Head, Suffered Seizure Before WSOF 3 Fight, Still Won


(Watch out, we’re dealing with a tough guy over here. / Photo via Getty)

Oh, so you didn’t find Jacob Volkmann‘s latest win at WSOF 3 completely thrilling? Well, nuts to you and your judgement, hot shot, because it turns out that “Dr. Feelgood” may have had a near-death experience the very same day the fight went down.

According to a recent interview Volkmann did with Sherdog, the lightweight blacked out, hit his head and had seizures on the floor of his Las Vegas hotel room before weighing in for his fight against Lyle Beerbohm. Volkmann, a chiropractor, decided to not tell anyone, weigh-in and fight anyway.

Goodness gracious.

“The maid knocks on my door and keeps on knocking, and I [thought], ‘I’d better not get up too fast.’ So I got up and walked toward the door, and by the time I got my hand on the door, I blacked out,” Volkman told Sherdog. “Next thing I remember, I was shaking on the floor, having seizures.”

“I banged my head, and I must have hit my back on the door handle,” Volkmann went on. “I didn’t tell anybody, because I didn’t want them to say I couldn’t fight because I just had a seizure. I had bills to pay, so I really didn’t have a choice.”

Off the record, Volkmann then proceeded to call Phillipe Nover a “complete pussy, even for a male nurse, bro.”

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World Series of Fighting 3 Aftermath: Josh Burkman Continues His Improbable Comeback, Jon Fitch Continues His Career Implosion, And Jacob Volkmann Just Keeps Doing What He Does


(“Hey, sorry I’m late, the beer line was crazy, did I miss anyth-OH SHIT.” — Steve Mazzagatti / Photo via Sherdog)

By Andreas Hale

July 13, 2002.

What’s so significant about that date? It was the last time that Jon Fitch lost via submission. The last time, until his World Series of Fighting debut in the main event of WSOF 3 on Friday night, where Fitch was swiftly put to sleep via guillotine choke by Josh Burkman. Yup, that Josh Burkman. The Josh Burkman who was little more than average during his UFC stint, going 5-5 with one of those losses from being choked out by who? You guessed it, Jon Fitch.

Even though the World Series of Fighting announcer called the Fitch vs. Burkman rematch “years in the making,” nobody who has watched MMA believed that nonsense. It was supposed to be Jon Fitch snuffing out Burkman and then grabbing the microphone and telling the UFC to kiss his grits. You know, with Jacob Volkmann lurking over his shoulder mumbling some nonsense about a fighter’s union. But, as they always say, there’s a reason why they actually fight.

Burkman, meanwhile, continued his surprising run of upending former UFC fighters in the WSOF, as he is now 3-0 in all three World Series of Fighting events with victories over Gerald Harris, Aaron Simpson and now Jon Fitch. But who the hell expected him to beat Jon Fitch? I’ll tell you, nobody…except Josh Burkman. And of that nobody percent, who thought that Burkman would choke Fitch to sleep in 41 seconds? Nobody…not even Josh Burkman.

“Who thinks they are going to choke out Jon Fitch?,” Burkman said through a wide smile after the shocking main event that capped off a fairly ho-hum third outing for WSOF.

Prior to the jaw dropping main event, WSOF trudged along with a string of relatively boring fights that yielded very little excitement for those in attendance at The Joint inside of the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. After the first few matches, most fans drowned themselves in spirits and had loud (mostly drunk) conversations that could be heard throughout the venue. The first five fights of the night are barely worth mentioning. Dan Lauzon beat up on a John Gunderson who looked lifeless in the cage. Carson Beebe earned a controversial unanimous decision despite being completely outclassed on the ground by Joe Murphy. The other disgruntled former UFC employee, Jacob Volkmann, put such a snoozer of a performance in a unanimous decision victory over Lyle Beerbohm that Ben Askren tweeted “That fight had less strikes than one of my fights!” So, you know, when Ben Askren pretty much calls your fight boring, you are in trouble.

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WSOF 3 Interview: Jacob Volkmann Talks Fighter Unions, ‘Fancy Pants’, And Why He’s Done Trashing Obama


(“[Beerbohm's] not even close to being able to stop my takedowns. This is going to be a ground battle and I’m hoping to finish it.” / Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

By Andreas Hale

In case you haven’t heard, Jacob Volkmann is a disgruntled former employee of the UFC who is preparing to start a new chapter in his career when he faces Lyle “Fancy Pants” Beerbohm at World Series of Fighting 3 this Friday, June 14th, in Las Vegas. Of course, being a disgruntled ex-UFC fighter doesn’t make Volkmann unique, as everyone from former champions and title contenders like Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Jon Fitch to lower-tier fighters like John Cholish have been airing their dirty laundry recently.

Volkmann was recently cut after a loss to Bobby Green at UFC 156 back in February despite having a 6-2 record in the Octagon as a lightweight, after starting his UFC career with an 0-2 run at welterweight. The walking papers came as a shock to Volkmann who couldn’t understand how he could be sent on his merry way. However, Volkmann’s departure came secondary to the shocking announcement that Jon Fitch had also been released despite having had a crack at Georges St-Pierre’s welterweight title and holding a stellar 14-3-1 record in the UFC. If you ask Volkmann, he’ll tell you that it is because the UFC is looking to condition their fans into watching guys who stand and bang instead of crafty ground competitors.

“That was the biggest reason why I was released,” Volkmann says of his fighting strategy, which often sees him bringing fighters to the canvas rather than trading punches. With only one of his UFC victories coming by way of stoppage, Volkmann has often been labeled “boring” by the type of fans who prefer their MMA fights to look like bar brawls. And though Volkmann’s success should speak for itself, he says that the UFC prefers its fans to see mindless clubbing rather than a ground game of chess. “They are making their fans like the stand up fighters. They could put more ground fighters on the card but they are dictating who watches and what is considered [exciting]. The mainstream isn’t promoting the ground game.”

Whether Volkmann’s declaration is true depends on the viewer. But what most fans don’t understand is the disparity in pay between the UFC’s top-tier fighters and the rest of the bunch. Volkmann has fought on his fair share of main cards but says that the perception that the UFC takes care of its fighters financially is completely false.

“They don’t take care of their fighters all that well,” Volkmann says, while citing that he made $50,000 last year while going 3-0. But the money isn’t the entire issue. “I’m talking about benefits. Their health care is a joke. There is no retirement. If you get injured, you don’t get paid. I’d like to see you get paid something when you are injured.”

You may have heard about Volkmann’s idea of starting a fighters’ union as well to ensure that fighters are protected. “I’d like to see a two-year contract with two fights a year minimum, where the minimum pay is $15,000 for the fight and $15,000 to win,” Volkmann explained. “At least you get paid a minimum of $30,000 a year and I think the UFC can afford to pay their fighters that.”

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Oh for F*ck’s Sake: Jacob Volkmann Gave Himself a New Nickname, and It’s Terrible.


This image is a rare example of both foreshadowing the news and your reaction to it.

Giving yourself a nickname is one of the lamest things you can do, and MMA fighters are some of the most notable offenders. Perhaps I’m just a tad bit jaded from constantly seeing guys calling themselves “The Iceman” or “Hollywood” making their amateur MMA debuts, but I firmly believe that a nickname is something you have to earn. Face it, not everyone deserves the honor of being The White Mamba.

Which is all to say that I was already rolling my eyes at Jacob Volkmann when he announced during yesterday’s WSOF 3: pre-fight media call that he had changed his nickname. Even if he came up with something decent, I wouldn’t have liked his nickname – which is good because what he came up with is terrible.

The man you once knew as Jacob “Christmas” Volkmann would now like you to call him…

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Jacob Volkmann Opens Fire at the UFC’s Low Pay, Crappy Health Insurance, and Preferential Treatment of Stand-and-Bangers


(*crickets* / Photo via US Presswire)

Looks like getting picked up right away by the World Series of Fighting after recently being fired by the UFC did not take away any bitterness from our favorite President-threatening lightweight, Jacob Volkmann. This past February, Volkmann lost by submission for the second time in his last three fights and was subsequently released by the UFC.

The elfin warrior tells AboveAndBeyondMMA.com that he didn’t deserve to be cut and is now on a mission to expose what he sees as the UFC’s unfair treatment of fighters.

“Well, I didn’t realize there was that much politics in martial arts, especially in the UFC. That was kind of frustrating. It’s not who is the best; it’s more of a political kind of BS,” he said.

“I was released after a loss against Bobby Green, which I should’ve never lost. It was kind of a fluke loss, going into the fight sick. I lost and then after that, they cut me. I was 6-2 at lightweight and they still cut me.

“You’ve got to know the right person, have the right manager in there. And your style determines if you stay in, too. The guys that stand and bang are the ones who are still fighting for the UFC. The ones that take the fights to the ground and focus more on the technique on the ground, they’re not in there because apparently the fans don’t like that.”

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Jon Fitch Signs Four-Fight Deal With World Series of Fighting, Expected to Make Debut on June 14th


(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

Following his controversial dismissal from the UFC, top-ten welterweight Jon Fitch has found his next home with World Series of Fighting. WSOF’s senior executive vice president Ali Abdel-Aziz revealed last night that Fitch has agreed to a four-fight contract, and will likely make his debut at the fledgling MMA promotion’s third event on June 14th. Fitch confirmed the news on twitter, saying that he’ll be officially signing contracts today.

Fitch’s opponent for the 6/14 card has not been determined yet, despite Gerald Harris‘s admirable efforts to troll his way into the booking.

In a related story, former UFC lightweight Jacob Volkmann — who was also recently fired during the UFC’s ongoing mass executions — will be making his World Series of Fighting Debut at WSOF 3 against former Strikeforce standout Lyle Beerbohm. “Fancy Pants” left Strikeforce following back-to-back losses to Pat Healy and Shinya Aoki, but has racked up five straight wins since then.

World Series of Fighting’s next event — headlined by Andrei Arlovski vs. Anthony Johnson — takes place March 23rd at the Revel Casino in Atlantic City. The full lineup for that card is after the jump.

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And Now He’s Fired: Future POTUS Jacob Volkmann Becomes the Latest Victim of the Obama Unemployment Crisis


(In an even stranger turn of events, it was revealed that Vollkmann was actually required by law to wear that shirt whenever he was within a half mile of a playground.) 

My God how the time flies. You might not have realized it — mainly because he is the type of fighter that screams “Facebook prelims” — but outspoken Minnesotan (new band name, called it) Jacob Volkmann has been fighting for the UFC for upwards of three years now, and has collected an impressive 6-4 record in the promotion. Outside of the octagon, Volkmann gained notoriety over the years for once threatening to rip off President Obama’s arm and subsequently receiving a visit from the Secret Service, an incident he would parlay into hundreds of thousands of tens of dollars in hideous, neon orange t-shirt sales.

But unfortunately for all of us Tea Party-supporting, lay-n-pray aficionados, Volkmann’s avant-garde experiment that dared combine the gripping excitement of wrestling clinics with the comic stylings of Neil Hamburger has come to an end, at least for now. Volkmann announced earlier today via his Twitter that he has been cut by the UFC following his loss to promotional newcomer Bobby Green at UFC 156: 

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UFC Begins to Transplant Canceled UFC 151 Bouts. Spoiler Alert: None End Up On PPV.


Pictured: Their approximate reactions to finding out “garbage-ass” was a real phrase.

One week ago, Ben published an article voicing concerns over how weak UFC 151′s main card was. But it was cool, because Jon Jones vs. Dan Henderson was going to be such an awesome fight. Two days ago, Jones vs. Henderson was scrapped and UFC 151 was canceled. [Ed. note: Damn, two days? Feels like we've been covering this forever.] Even though most of us acknowledged that the cancellation of the event was at least partially due to the garbage-assness of pretty much the entire card, we were too busy talking about Jon Jones ducking Chael Sonnen/Sonnen attempting to troll his way into an immediate title shot (depending on which side of the fence you’re on) to really delve into the issue. But now that the UFC has started to transplant the canceled UFC 151 fights to other cards, it’s time to take a closer look at that issue for a moment.

The bouts from UFC 151 are quickly being rescheduled for different cards, with UFC on FX 5 taking a significant chunk of them. As we covered in yesterday’s link dump, UFC 151′s planned co-main event, Jake Ellenberger vs. Jay Hieron, will now be the co-main event of UFC On FX 5. This won’t be the only fight from UFC 151′s main card that will now be padding UFC on FX 5 – Dennis Hallman vs. Thiago Tavares, Danny Castillo vs. Michael Johnson and Shane Roller vs. Jacob Volkmann will be moved to this card as well. UFC on Fuel TV 6 will now be featuring fights between bantamweights Takeya Mizugaki and Jeff Hougland and flyweights John Lineker and Yasuhiro Urushitani, while Kyle Noke and Charlie Brenneman will do the man dance on the undercard of UFC 152.

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s worth mentioning that absolutely none of these fights – three of which were on the pay-per-view portion of UFC 151, mind you – have made it to the main card of an upcoming pay-per-view. Now I understand that financially, most fighters who were expecting a paycheck on September 1 simply can’t afford to wait until November’s UFC 154 to fight again. But that’s not the issue: The issue is that the UFC could afford to move pay-per-view quality fights *makes this hand gesture* to free television in the first place.

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Booking Roundup: ‘Dan Hardy’s Comeback’ Edition


(We know Dan, he watches over us all.) 

It looks like Dan Hardy won’t be getting that fight against Matt Hughes he was angling for. And thank God, because we hear Hughes’ country breakfasts consist of Ovaltine and Total these days (we kind, we kid; they consist of grilled bobcat).  

After going 0-4 through 2010 and 2011, Hardy has been matched up with a perfect opponent to kickstart 2012, when he takes on UFC veteran Duane “Bang” Ludwig at UFC 146. Hardy, who has not fought since falling to a third round guillotine choke in Chris Lytle’s retirement bout in August of 2011, took some time off to refocus, train, and get pestered by drunken fans. Ludwig also saw his last fight end by way of guillotine, only he chose to adhere to the “tapping is for bitches” rule when he was choked out by Josh Neer at UFC on FX. The loss snapped a two fight win streak for Ludwig, his first since 2008, which included wins over Nick Osipczak and Amir Sadollah.

Although this wasn’t the match Hardy wanted, you gotta imagine he’ll be stoked knowing he’s taking on a fellow slugger with a limited ground game. But it will be interesting to see if Hardy follows a more subdued gameplan here. Like we said, the man’s dropped 4 straight, and another loss could mean his Zuffa career. Then again, the only reason that he is still in the UFC is thanks to his consistently exciting performances, so a snoozer against Ludwig seems unlikely. Let’s just sit back and enjoy what is sure to be a war, ladies and gentlemen.

In other UFC 146 news…

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