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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: James Toney

Wednesday Morning MMA Link Club

Brock Lesnar hunting deer UFC
("This thing used to be alive! LMFAO!" More Brock Lesnar hunting photos at Sherdog.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Five Lessons: Strikeforce vs. UFC (Versus MMA Beat)

- Georges St. Pierre: Emphasis in Camp Was on Finishing Josh Koscheck (MMA Fighting)

– "When the Pitbull Bites" – Thiago Alves Documentary/Highlight Video From KahL-One (MMA Scraps)

- Jim Miller Is Patiently Waiting For His Shot (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Maia, Bonnar Lead TUF 12 Finale Salary List (MMA Convert)

– James Toney Calls Out Rampage Jackson by Claiming He’s a ‘Black Redneck’ (MiddleEasy)

– Exclusive Interview: George Sotiropoulos ‘Moving in the Right Direction’ Heading Into Fight With Dennis Siver (LowKick)

– Season-Winner Jonathan Brookins Tops List of TUF 12 Finale Suspensions (Five Ounces of Pain)

– Behind the Lens: Vitor Belfort (FightMagazine)

– SB Nation Exclusive: Stefan Struve Talks Path To UFC, Sean McCorkle And St. Pierre vs. Koscheck (SBNation.com/MMA)

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Wednesday Morning MMA Link Club: Y’Ever Notice How White People Eat Sandwiches?


(Cain Velasquez and George Lopez enjoy a PBJ and milk in honor of Brock Lesnar’s cracker-ass heritage. Props: fpvault)

– Five Lessons: UFC 121 Edition (Versus MMA Beat)

- Cesar Gracie Says Jake Shields Is the Guy to Beat GSP (FightMagazine)

– Dana White: Brock Lesnar Is Not Going Back to WWE (LowKick)

- Court McGee Not Entirely Pleased With Performance in UFC 121 Win (MMA Fighting)

– The IRS Put a Lien On James Toney’s UFC 118 Fight Purse (MMA Convert)

– Marquardt vs. Okami Winner Guaranteed Title Shot (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Bellator Finalizes Line-Up for Thursday Night’s Season-Ending Event (Five Ounces of Pain)

– Playboy Playmate LaTasha Marzolla Gets Her Arm Snapped in an MMA Bout (MiddleEasy)

– Herb Dean Talks Refereeing and Judging and His New Line of Condoms (MMA Scraps)

– UFC President Dana White Talks Jon Jones, Jose Aldo on the Fight Fix (SBNation.com/MMA)

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James Toney Still Hanging Around Like a Bad Smell, Wants Another UFC Shot in Detroit

James Toney UFC 118 weigh-ins
("Yeah, yeah, the number is the number, now where the f*ck the buffet at?" Photo courtesy of Heavy.)

After James Toney performed about as well as we thought James Toney would at UFC 118 last month, Dana White stated that we’d seen the last of Lights Out in the Octagon. And that may be the case, but it’s not going to stop James from trying. (After all, he got his UFC gig in the first place by being an insufferable pest.) In a new story posted on Fighthype, Toney angles for a spot on the upcoming UFC 123: Rampage vs. Machida card, which will be held near his Detroit hometown. "If they want to sell any tickets in Detroit, they should put me on there," Toney said. "Bitch ass Rampage can’t sell no tickets in my hometown." 

Well that’s not very kind. Keep in mind that James Toney didn’t exactly prove to be a strong live draw himself, as UFC 118 was short a couple thousand seats of a sellout, even with Toney’s presence. And that was in Boston, a fantastic and well-populated city that MMA fans would actually want to travel to. Detroit, on the other hand, is a bombed-out wasteland that you would only pass through as a last resort. According to our own research, the only way to guarantee sales in Detroit is to book either Brock Lesnar or GSP against Violent J or Shaggy 2 Dope.

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Vitor Belfort Calls Out James Toney for Boxing Match; Toney Applauds Belfort’s Lack of Bitchassness

Vitor Belfort Mike Tyson MMA boxing
(Vitor Belfort is so badass that Mike Tyson wears his t-shirt. Meanwhile, James Toney’s shirt has been discounted from $49.98 to "free with any purchase at the Salvation Army.")

Since James Toney allowed himself to be humiliated (for a large paycheck) in a cage-fight at UFC 118, it’s only fair that a representative from the UFC should let Toney try to redeem himself in a boxing ring. Could an MMA star hang with a boxing champ with 12-ounce gloves, no leg kicks, no takedowns, player? If Vitor Belfort gets his way — and we sincerely hope he does — the MMA vs. boxing freak show timeline may get a unique new chapter. As the Phenom tweeted this weekend:

"Dana let me fight James Tony on 6 round boxe Mach I think I can catch him with my speed…Dana will be the 1 boxing match in Ufc I promise he will fell my power and we will show the world the a Ufc fighter can do better"

Okay, we all know that the UFC isn’t in the business of putting on six-round boxing matches, historically speaking. But giving Vitor a day-pass to box James Toney outside of his UFC contract sounds like great publicity to me. I know the dude has a #2 middleweight contender’s match lined up for November, but come on, Belfort wins this fight nine times out of ten and goes home to his nude model wife completely unscathed. And it shouldn’t surprise you that the Dark Emperor is down with the idea…

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UFC 118 Salaries: James ‘Half-a-Milly’ Toney Gets the Last Laugh

James Toney Randy Couture UFC 118
(That’s actually ketchup on James’s head. Randy tackled him so quickly that he didn’t even have time to put down the hot dog he was eating. / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com)

The UFC paid out $1,608,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses to the fighters who competed at UFC 118, according to figures released by the Massachusetts State Athletic CommissionJames Toney‘s whopping $500,000 salary led the payroll, putting him well ahead of fellow headliners Randy Couture ($250,000) and BJ Penn ($150,000). For you math aficionados out there, Toney earned over $2,500 per second in his UFC debut, which ended due to submission at the 3:19 mark of round 1. (Now calculate how much money you make per second at your job. Isn’t that hilarious?)

Keep in mind that the figures below don’t include additional compensation from sponsorships, undisclosed "locker room" bonuses, or cuts of the pay-per-view revenue that some UFC stars have in their contracts, which means that Randy Couture could have theoretically ended up with a bigger paycheck than James Toney. You know, if that helps you sleep at night.

Frankie Edgar: $96,000 (includes $48,000 win bonus)
def. B.J. Penn: $150,000

Randy Couture: $250,000
def. James Toney: $500,000

Demian Maia: $68,000
def. Mario Miranda: $8,000

Gray Maynard: $46,000 (includes $23,000 win bonus)
def. Kenny Florian: $65,000

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Oh, Good: James Toney Says We Haven’t Seen the Last of His ‘Gorilla Nuts’ in MMA


(VidProps: YouTube/Goossen Tutor Boxing)

Honestly, most of this video with James Toney from Saturday night is totally unintelligible. Unfortunately, it’s also reportedly the only post-fight interview with “Lights Out” since, like the true sportsman we all know him to be, he no-showed the official UFC 118 press conference after his embarrassing loss to Randy Couture. Toney may not have been man enough to face the MMA media after throwing zero standing punches en route to tapping out to Couture’s side check choke – pretty sure that’s what it was – three minutes, 19 seconds into the first round, but he did make time to sit down with Rodney Hunt from Goossen Tutor Promotions, a company that represents Toney in boxing. So, yeah, an in-house interview with a paid yes man. You probably know where this is going …

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UFC 118 News and Notes: It’s ‘Lights Out’ for James Toney’s UFC Career


(Please princess, let me up!!   photo credit: USA Today)

It appears that the James Toney experiment has gone the way of the Kimbo Slice experiment, as UFC president Dana White announced at the UFC 118 post-fight press conference that the promotion is done with boxer crossover fights.

"It’s been a fun ride with James," White said as if delivering a eulogy about Toney’s dead UFC career. "It’s been very interesting. He’s a nutty guy." 

White pointed out that he didn’t go out looking for the fight, but when it came knocking on his door, he figured, "Why not?" 

"Listen, I didn’t try to sell this thing as, ‘Tune in on Saturday night, and you’re going to see the most spectacular battle and a war…I basically said what I was hoping would happen. Anything can happen in a fight. James Toney picked this fight. We’re not after boxing," White explained. "We’re not trying to attack boxing. I love boxing, and I thought this question was answered back in 1993, but I’ve got to be honest, as we got closer to the fight, my stomach hurt, and I was a little dizzy and I was nervous."

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UFC 118 Liveblog: The Turncoats are Coming! The Turncoats are Coming!

 
(So at $1,000,000, you payin’ me $4,219 a pound, sucka!!)

Well, Potato Nation, tonight’s the night we’ve been waiting for for months. The question on everyone’s mind will finally be answered: "Is Will Forte really leaving Saturday Night Live?"

OK so maybe that’s not the question on everybody’s mind, but it’s definitely bugging Will’s agent and his parents.

Ben and ReX13 are off schmoozing at the UFC Fan Expo, where I would have been as well if I could cross the border (more on that at a later date, but I will tell you it involves a bar brawl and a Bruce Lee instructional book I’ve owned since I was 13) and  Chad Dundas is off the grid attending an Amish wedding, which leaves me here to supply you guys with some play-by play action from tonight’s festivities in Boston.

The co-main event will undoubtedly produce some differing opinions on James Toney’s place in the grand scheme of the UFC’s heavyweight division and the main event should decide whether or not BJ Penn simply had an off night in Abu Dhabi.

Before we get to it, we’d like to announce the winner of our Boston UFC Fan Expo. The winning ticket is #031014. If this is your number, send photographic proof to contest@cagepotato.com and we’ll hook you up with a $100 gift card to MMAWarehouse.com.

Here’s a glimpse of our uber-popular booth from the expo. Don’t let VivaHate’s nonplussed expression fool you, everyone had a blast this weekend and we got a ton of footage and interviews from fans and fighters.

Results and play-by-play after the jump.
Strap in and get ready. It’s sure to be a rocky ride.

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Will Tonight’s Co-Main Event Determine Which Old Guy Jon Jones Gets to Beat Up Next?


(“Yeah, I get it, ‘UFC 124: ‘Expendable,’ that’s really funny … no, seriously, I’m laughing on the inside.” PicProps: Sherdog)

Look, I didn’t mean to get you all in a tizzy with that crazy stuff I said earlier. Rest assured, gentle reader, odds are very good that Randy Couture applies one of his world-renowned Brazilian Joint Locks to James Toney tonight and takes home an easy victory, probably sometime in the first round. After that, we’ll all have our fun with Toney, figuratively poking him in his airbrushed belly as we ship him off to wherever it is old boxers go to die. We’ll all probably act very smug and superior on our Twitter accounts for a few days, too.

Deep down, though, Couture’s victory will not cure my unease. For some while now, I’ve been wondering if the worst thing that could happen to Randy Couture at this stage in his career would be for him to beat James Toney at UFC 118. This is all just conjecture mind you, but I can’t escape the notion that whoever wins tonight might ride a groundswell of mainstream publicity right into a fight with Jon Jones, probably at the UFC’s end-of-the-year (or maybe Super Bowl weekend) pay-per-view.

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Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide: What to Do If Randy Loses to James Toney


(Keep laughing, KenFlo. It won’t be so funny when “Lights Out” brings the side check kick down to 155. PicProps: Heavy.com)

Sunday morning, you wake up. Splitting hangover headache. You roll over and nausea sweeps through your body. You will yourself not to puke. “Where am I,” you think, “and who is this fat chick?” The night before is a total blur. There are significant gaps. You remember being at the bar, yelling unintelligible shit at a TV. Some guy you don’t know kept buying you shots. You might’ve left a bunch of voicemails for that girl you like. After that you must – wait — then it hits you. Holy fucking shit. Randy Couture fucking LOST to James Toney last night.

Scary though huh, PotatoNation? Consider the above paragraph a kind of public service announcement. Some don’t-let-this-happen-to-you type shit. Here at The Potato we are nothing if not realists. We believe wholeheartedly in expecting the best while preparing for the worst, or whatever the terrible cliché says we ought to do. For that reason, it’s probably a good idea that we all spend a few minutes considering the possibility that Toney might actually beat Couture at tonight’s UFC 118. You know, just in case. It won’t be easy, but we can get through this together.

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