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Tag: Jamie Varner

CagePotato Presents: The 10 Best UFC Brawls of the Year (So Far)


(This photo and all photos after it via Getty)

By Jared Jones

It’s the halfway-ish point of the year, which means that we are a mere six or so months away from handing out our annual Potato Awards in categories such as “MMA Fail of the Year”, “Media Shill of the Year”, and the always coveted “Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year.” But because you Taters have been good this year, we’re going to allow you to open one present early: Our definitive ranking of the best UFC brawls of the year, so far.

It’s been a rocky year for the UFC, to say the absolute least. Pay-per-view numbers are tanking, fan interest is waning due to market oversaturation, and even the promotion’s new video game has been plagued by (albeit hilarious) technical issues. But the great thing about the UFC/MMA in general is that all can be forgiven with a few great fights, and these 10 brawls are undoubtedly the kernels of corn hidden amongst the soggy floor-turds that the UFC has been shitting out this year.

To repeat: This list is only dedicated to the best *brawls* of the year, which implies a fight in which both participants take their fare share of licks. TJ Dillashaw vs. Renan Barao was a one-sided beatdown, albeit a brilliant one-sided beatdown, and therefore bears no mention here. Except that I just mentioned it. God damn it.

Let’s just get to the top 10 brawls of the year, nearly all of which contain links to full fight videos for your viewing pleasure…

#10 – Kevin Souza vs Mark Eddiva: TUF Brazil 3 Finale

(Check out Souza vs. Eddiva in its entirety here.)

A classic example of two guys with more heart than brains (or defensive capabilities) leaving it all in the octagon, Kevin Souza vs. Mark Eddiva opened up the FS1 prelims for the TUF Brazil Finale in a huge way.

Watching Souza vs. Eddiva was kind of like watching two women play Tekken for the very first time, in that both fighters only seemed to understand how one button on their controllers worked — for Eddiva it was leg kicks, for Souza it was the overhand right. These two techniques were traded with absolutely zero setup for two highly entertaining rounds, earning both men a $50,000 “Fight of the Night’ bonus in an evening of otherwise unmemorable decisions and memorable-for-all-the-wrong-ways squash matches. It was Souza, however, who walked away from the fight victorious via an always rare standing TKO.

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UFC 173 Video: Dumb-Ass Doctor Steps on Jamie Varner’s Broken Foot


(Props: HunterAHomistek)

For f*ck’s sake, doc…Hippocratic oath much?

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UFC 173 Results: TJ Dillashaw Knocks Out Renan Barao in Masterful Performance, Daniel Cormier Puts Dan Henderson to Sleep


(Not bad, but it doesn’t quite stack up to the original. / Props: MMAFighting)

I’ll start with the good news: Tonight’s UFC 173: Barao vs. Dillashaw pay-per-view features two of the UFC’s greatest talents — bantamweight champion Renan Barao and undefeated light-heavyweight contender Daniel Cormier — and seeing those guys in action might be worth the PPV cost in itself. True, Barao and Cormier are both competing in lopsided odds-mismatches that are bordering on indefensible, but why focus on the negative?

In addition to “The Baron” defending his 135-pound title against Team Alpha Male standout TJ Dillashaw, and Cormier looking to earn a title shot with a win over legendary slugger Dan Henderson, tonight’s card will feature a high-level welterweight bout between Robbie Lawler and Jake Ellenberger (who are both coming off losses). Plus, Takeya “Teriyaki” Mizugaki and Francisco Rivera will attempt to build on their win streaks in the bantamweight division, and Jamie Varner kicks off the broadcast against fellow fan-friendly lightweight James Krause.

BG will be sticking round-by-round updates from the UFC 173 main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for the latest updates, and follow us on twitter for extra analysis and yuk-yuks. Thanks for coming.

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UFC 169 Salaries: Alistair Overeem Craps His Way to $400K, Aldo, Mir, Faber and Trujillo Also Clear Six Figures


(“What are you doing out there, Alistair? Quit playing around and put a *real* hurting on this guy!” Photo via Getty.)

The official salaries for UFC 169 were released earlier today, and despite being panned by 100% of Dana Whites across the globe, Alistair Overeem and Jose Aldo managed to walk away with the two highest salaries of the evening, banking $407,143 and $240,000, respectively. In a slight departure from what we have come to expect, three other fighters also cleared six figures at UFC 169, although in the case of Abe Trujillo, it was thanks greatly in part to the pair of “end of the night” bonuses he picked up for his second round KO of Jamie Varner to open up the main card.

The full list of salaries for UFC 169 is below, so follow us after the jump and take a gander, then entertain us as we yell at a wall.

Alistair Overeem: $407,143 ($285,714 to show, $121,429 win bonus)
Jose Aldo: $240,000 ($120,000 to show, $120,000 win bonus)

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UFC 169 Results: Barao TKOs Faber, Aldo Decisions Lamas


(I’ll eat my own foot if the word “bro” wasn’t uttered at least once. / Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

Legacies will be defined, belts may or may not change hands, and “Bagautinov” will be pronounced at least three different ways — welcome, ladies and gents, to CagePotato’s liveblog of UFC 169: Barao vs. Faber. On tap for this evening: Renan Barao attempts to defend his unified bantamweight title for the first time against Urijah Faber, and Jose Aldo goes for his sixth UFC featherweight title defense against hard-charging contender Ricardo Lamas. Plus: a heavyweight battle between Alistair Overeem and Frank Mir that’s totally awesome if you don’t think about it too hard.

Handling play-by-play for the UFC 169 pay-per-view broadcast is Aaron Mandel, who will be putting live results from the main card after the jump, starting at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and shoot your own thoughts into the comments section. Thanks for coming.

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The Curse is On: Kelvin Gastelum *and* Jamie Varner Pull Out of UFC on FOX 9 With Injuries [UPDATED]


(“You think that was impressive? I once beat a guy whose hype train was THIS BIG!” Photo via Getty.) 

Not this shit again.

UFC on FOX 9: Pettis vs. Thomson Johnson vs. Benavidez II may not go down until December 14th, but if the injuries keep piling up at their current pace, THERE’S NOT EVEN GOING TO *BE* A DECEMBER. (*cue dramatic gopher*)

First, we informed you that newly-crowned lightweight champion Anthony Pettis was forced out of the evening’s main event with a(nother) knee injury. Then, we broke the sad news that everyone’s favorite homeless-bashing creepster, Ian McCall, was pulled from the card due to a hand injury. And now, MMAJunkie passes along word that both TUF 17 winner Kelvin Gastelum *and* former WEC champ Jamie Varner have been bitten by the injury bug as well, leaving Court McGee and Pat Healy, respectively, without opponents for the event.

As of this write-up, neither fighter’s camp has disclosed an official injury or a timetable for Gastelum or Varner’s return. Our theory: Gastelum and Varner, besties for lyfe, snuck off to London to see the Catching Fire premiere and attend a scrapbooking workshop. Unicorn stickers will abound.

We are currently reaching out to Nate Diaz for a comment on why the UFC continues to “pay these pussys,” but for now, we can only suggest that any current UFC on FOX 9 ticket holder starts burning sage to cleanse the card of evil spirits.

[UPDATE]

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UFC Booking Alert: Pat Healy vs. Jamie Varner Slated for UFC on Fox 9


(UFC lightweight Pat Healy, daring us to make a HHNNNGGGG reference in two consecutive posts. Nice try, buddy. / Photo via Getty)

UFC on Fox 9 is shaping up to be a straight-up excellent card. The latest solid matchup was just announced as Pat Healy and Jamie Varner square up opposite one another in a lightweight contest. Both men are coming off losses but, on paper, this looks like yet another exciting and evenly-matched bout for the December 14th event in Sacramento.

Varner lost his last outing against Gleison Tibau via split decision. Before that, Varner bested Melvin Guillard and before that, he lost a thrilling bout to Joe Lauzon via submission, which won Fight of the Night honors at UFC on FOX 4. Healy recently returned after a marijuana-metabolite suspension that turned his incredible UFC-debut win over Jim Miller into a no-contest, and recently lost a decision to fellow Strikeforce vet Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 165. (Yes, I had to copy and paste Khabib’s name. No, I will never remember how to spell or pronounce it.)

Joining Healy and Varner on the December 14th UFC on Fox 9 card are new lightweight champion Anthony Pettis defending his strap against Josh Thomson, and Carlos Condit and Matt Brown trying to tear each other’s hearts out in a welterweight contender showdown. Also, Court McGee and Kelvin Gastelum do battle in one of those, TUF vs. TUF type contests. Your predictions, please.

- Elias Cepeda

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MMA Impressions With Jade Bryce, Part 2: The Thrill of Victory [VIDEO]


(Watch the video in HD for the best experience, and subscribe to our YouTube channel here!)

Well, we warned you. Bellator ring girl Jade Bryce has returned for another installment of “MMA Impressions” for CagePotato.com, in which she gives her own unique take on these classic victory celebrations:

- BJ Penn‘s blood-licking
- Stephan Bonnar‘s thousand-yard stare
- Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza‘s gator-crawl
- Anderson Silva‘s guitar-strum
- Phil Baroni‘s “I’M THE MAN!” speech
- Roy Nelson‘s belly-rub
- Tito Ortiz‘s grave-digger
- The Rampage howl
- Jamie Varner‘s chicken/naptime/worm routine
- King Mo‘s energy-drink shower

Epic upon epic. If you dug this video, let Jade know on Twitter @TheJadeBryce, and get to know her even better at OfficialJadeBryce.com!

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Friday Link Dump: Dave Herman’s Do-Or-Die Drug Test, Spike TV to Add ‘Glory’ Events, Cats Puking to Techno, Exploding Actresses + More


(Absafuckinlutely genius. Props: Minecraftsuper2)

UFC 162: Herb Dean Assigned as Ref for Anderson Silva vs. Chris Weidman; Questionable Judges Also Get the Call (BloodyElbow)

After NSAC Grills Dave Herman, UFC 162 License Depends on Clean Drug Test (MMAJunkie)

UFC 162 Primer: Roger Gracie Mini-Documentary (FightDay)

The Fit 5: Johny Hendricks and Jamie Varner Talk MMA (MensFitness)

June 2013 MMA Babe of the Month: Ericka Kristen (BabesofMMA)

Re-Living Every UFC Champ’s First Fight in the Octagon (BleacherReport)

Onetime Bellator Fighter Ururahy Rodrigues Captures Murder Suspect Seconds After Crime (MMAFighting)

Spike TV to Broadcast Live ‘Glory’ Kickboxing Events Starting This Fall (MMAWeekly)

The 20 Funniest “Challenge Accepted” Photos Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

100 of the All-Time Greatest Viral Videos in 3 Minutes (DoubleViking)

NBA Draft Commentary That Didn’t Come True (Complex)

Lucas ‘Bebe’ Nogueira Won The NBA Draft Last Night (TerezOwens)

Pics: 20 Incredibly Awkward Parties (EgoTV)

Lance Armstrong: Tour De France “Impossible To Win Without Doping” (Deadspin)

The 15 Hottest Facebook Pages (MadeMan)

“Exploding Actresses”: Exactly What It Sounds Like, But Funnier (ScreenJunkies)

Interactive Video: You Choose How Drunk This Band Is (Break)

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CagePotato Ban: MMA Fighters Announcing Their Retirement, Then Immediately Unretiring


(Okay, okay, okay, *you* can do whatever you want, Aleks. Just stop looking at us like that.) 

Earlier today, it was announced that former PRIDE star and perpetual blue-balled can crusher, Aleksander Emelianenko, had signed a multi-fight deal with the Russian organization ProFC. Which would be fine, had Emelianenko not announced his retirement from the sport three months earlier after being shitcanned by M-1 Global. Many of you are probably wondering why we are wasting our time poking fun at a long-since relevant Emelianenko brother when we could be, I dunno, predicting who is most likely to test positive for quaaludes at UFC 159, but Aleks’ recent revelation highlights a growing problem amongst MMA fighters: understanding what the term “retirement” is supposed to mean.

Look, we get it. Everyone from Michael Jordan to Muhammad Ali have announced their retirement from their respective sports in the past, only to recant shortly thereafter. It’s understandable to a degree, especially in the fight game. A guy suffers a couple tough losses, begins to fear for his own health, and decides that it is in his best interest — as well as his family’s — to call it a career before he suffers an injury he cannot come back from. Then, after adjusting to the stale, mundane existence that constitutes the lives of most non-fighters, he begins to convince himself that he’s always had “it,” but has just been held back by issues in his training camp, at home, in their own mind etc. — issues which are now completely behind him. If only it were that simple.

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