(Rosenthal, you scene-stealing son-of-a-bitch.)

MMA history is littered with badass sets of brothers — the Nogueiras, the Shamrocks, the Ruffos — but we wouldn’t necessarily want to see them cage-fight to the death. There are, of course, a few exceptions to that rule. In honor of tomorrow’s release of Warrior, which features two estranged brothers who [SPOILER ALERT!] beat the crap out of each other at the end, we humbly present our top-five dream fights between bros. Enjoy…

Clay Guida vs. Jason Guida

With all the times that Jason has slapped his brother in the face before UFC fights, you’d think that Clay might want to give some of it back, just once. Sure, the Carpenter would be at a solid 50-pound weight disadvantage, but I think he’d take it by decision due to his pace and his wrestling. Besides, it’s been too long since we’ve had a good open-weight freak show fight in this country.

Patricio Freire vs. Patricky Freire

This is basically the 2011 version of “I wonder what would happen if Shogun and Ninja fought each other?” With a 17-1 record and a Bellator Season 4 tournament sweep to his credit, Patricio Pitbull is undoubtedly one of the greatest featherweights outside of the UFC. (Notable moments: His TKO of Georgi Karakhanyan and destruction of Wilson Reis.) Patricio’s lightweight brother Patricky is just as ferocious, as proven by his knockout of Rob McCullough and highlight-reel flying-knee against Toby Imada. Make it happen, Bjorn.

Despite all the talk of Jens Pulver hanging up his four ounce gloves for good after failing to put up a win in his past six fights, it looks like Lil’ Evil ain’t goin’ out like that.

The former UFC lightweight champ was back in action this weekend, picking up his first win in over three years and improving his record to 23-14-1. Although his opponent, Mike "The Assassin" Lindquist at 6-19 was a far cry from the killers he used to face in the UFC and WEC, it’s good to see Jens get a win under his belt to boost his confidence. In Pulver’s defense, he was originally slated to take on 12-10 fighter Tom Ahrens, but his opponent bowed out of the bout in the weeks leading up to the event. For his part, Lindquist didn’t look too bad in the video above. Let’s just hope that training with Jeff Curran in Chicago has helped Pulver get his groove back and he doesn’t just become a regional can crusher.

(Above: ‘Ayyyyyy‘ — An expression of combat known worldwide. / Below: Matt Major shows off the design that got him eliminated on last night’s episode of Project Runway.)

By ReX “I H8 FSN” Richardson

Last night, Bellator XXIX went to Milwaukee, Wisconsin (which I believe is a Native American word meaning “Dude, I Think We’re Lost”) and put on the first nationally-televised MMA event ever in the state. Bellator seems to thrive by signing fighters hungry for wins, and has kept the energy up by focusing on the lighter weight classes, so it was a bit of a curveball when a heavyweight tournament was announced. Many questioned if Bellator could pull enough quality heavyweights with the conditioning necessary to put on entertaining fights. Heavyweight fights in the Bellator promotion to this point have been a mixed bag, but we’re starting to see the cream rise so I’m optimistic that some fun stuff happens. A couple of loser-leaves-town matches round out the televised card, featuring some guys who’ve been bounced out of tournaments previously (and want back in), plus they snagged the tubby Guida brother to test the light heavyweight waters.

Come on in and I’ll fill you in on the latest Bellator results and news. I promise I’ll lay off the fat jokes this time.

(Murilo "Ninja" Rua wrecks Alex "The Brazilian Killa" Stiebling in 39 seconds. Fight starts at the 0:22 mark. Props to TheGarv. More videos to come…)

BITETTI COMBAT: NORDESTE 4 (9/12; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
– Ricardo Arona def. Marvin Eastman via unanimous decision
– Paulo Filho def. Alex Schoenauer via unanimous decision
– Pedro Rizzo def. Jeff Monson via unanimous decision
– Murilo “Ninja” Rua def. Alex Stiebling via KO, 0:39 of round 1
– Milton Viera def. Luciano Azavedo via split decision
– Fabio Maldonado def. Vitor Miranda via unanimous decision
– Glover Texeira def. Leonardo Nascimento via submission (guillotine choke), 3:18 of round 1
– Luis Dutra Jr. def. Henrique Nogueira via TKO, round 1
– Cassiano Tytschyo def. Fausto Black via submission (guillotine choke), round 1
– Alexandre Pimentel def. Luciano “Izzy” Correa via unanimous decision

(Okay, so this photo of Bobby might be a little re-touched. Props: TheWrestlingFan.com.)

MMA Junkie has obtained the official payouts from Saturday’s "March Badness" MMA/boxing card in Pensacola, Florida, and it looks like Roy Jones Jr. did alright by his fighters, paying out living wages (for the most part) while still leaving open the possibility that he turned a profit. The numbers are below, if you’re interested…

MMA SALARIES

Jeff Monson: $25,000 (win bonus was $10,000)
def. Roy Nelson: $30,000

Bobby Lashley: $40,000 (win bonus was $10,000; he also received an undisclosed cut of the PPV revenue)
def. Jason Guida: $15,000

Din Thomas: $10,000 (no win bonus)
def. Gabe Lemley: $5,500

Dennis Hallman: $6,000 (win bonus was $3,000)
def. Danny Ruiz: $2,000

James Freeman: $600 (win bonus was $300)
def. John Mowry: $300

BOXING SALARIES

(Bobby Lashley vs. Jason Guida)

MMA matches:
Jeff Monson def. Roy Nelson via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
Bobby Lashley def. Jason Guida via unanimous decision (30-27 x3)
Din Thomas def. Gabe Lemley via TKO, 4:13 of round 1
Dennis Hallman def. Danny Ruiz via submission (rear-naked choke), 1:50 of round 1
James Freeman def. John Mowry via KO, 2:38 of round 1

Boxing matches:
Roy Jones Jr. defeated Omar Sheika via TKO, 1:45 of round 5
B.J. Flores def. Jose Luis Herrera via unanimous decision
Eric Clinton def. Richmond Dalphone via unanimous decision
Kieyon Bussey def. Robert DaLuz via majority decision
Kelvin Price def. Kevin Howard via majority decision

Notes…

— The Lashley/Guida bout didn’t live up to the pre-fight trash-talk, and Lashley proved that he’s not quite ready for prime time. The first round was spent mostly in a clinch against the ropes after Guida was able to stuff Lashley’s takedown attempts. The next two rounds saw Lashley on top of Guida and working some ground-and-pound, but Guida never took much damage. In fact, a guillotine choke attempt that Guida put on Lashley in the third round was the closest that the fight came to being finished. It was a moral victory for Guida — though his record now drops to 17-20, while Lash increases to 2-0.

— Roy Nelson got straight-up robbed by the judges. Though Jeff Monson did win the third round via striking exchanges, the first two were controlled by Nelson, who scored takedowns and was able to achieve mount in both rounds. But it seemed that all three judges credited the second frame to Monson due to some knees he threw in the clinch. After the fight, Monson admitted that the fight "could have gone either way," while Nelson immediately stormed off in anger.

— After beating Gabe Lemley with a ferocious punches-and-knee combo that put Lemley out cold, Din Thomas told the crowd that it’s not cool to put hands on a lady, and if Rihanna needs someone to kick Chris Brown’s ass for her, she should holla.

More videos from "March Badness" are after the jump…

Jason Guida continued his efforts to get all up in Bobby Lashley’s head at the "March Badness" weigh-in.  This included weighing in at a non-impressive 232 pounds (Lashley was 251.5), flexing while making a ridiculous face, and then turning his baseball cap around to make sure he could get right in Lashley’s grill. 

Here’s the question: does Guida really think that he is bothering Lashley with these antics, or has he come to the realization that his best chance in this fight is to make Lashley so angry he screws up somehow?  Or, even more far-fetched, does he really like his own chances in this fight simply because Lashely "faked it" in pro wrestling? 

Maybe Guida knows something we don’t.  Or maybe he’s just decided to make himself into a court jester to ensure he entertains people in one way or another.  Fight time is just a couple hours from now, so we’ll have our answer soon enough.

(Props: "Card" on the UG)

Now that we know who’s going to be in the upcoming UFC game, it’s time to look at how those fighters will throw down within the "virtual Octagon." In the above video, 2009 Undisputed producer Neven Dravinski takes us through weak and strong strikes, and the various ranges they can be delivered. The GSP Superman-punch KO of BJ Penn at 0:09-0:12 makes us smile every time we see it.

Below: One day left until Jason Guida gets a giant reality check — but for the time being, he gets to be talk about how he’s "all over [Lashley's] mind" and how he actually feels bad for him, because the former WWE star has to jump in the deep end right away without being built up first. (*Cough*) Skip to the 2:18 mark and smell the magic.

After the jump: King Mo‘s pimp-ass post-Sengoku press conference.

(Props: TheGarv)

My goodness, Bobby Lashley is one large man. And Jason Guida is one brave/stupid one. You get the feeling that as a child, Guida would entertain himself by throwing rocks at wasps’ nests, because "wasps ain’t shit." Anyway, feel free to skip to the faceoff at the 3:08 mark, which leads to a nice little face-shove by Lashley at 3:59. It’s almost worth shelling out the $29.95 to see this one on pay-per-view — and definitely worth watching it on the Internet for free the next morning.

Also: Jeff Monson, who will be fighting Roy Nelson on Saturday night, couldn’t make it to yesterday’s "March Badness" press conference because he was involved in a minor car accident. (Ex-girlfriend cut his brake lines, maybe?) In the video after the jump, we see that even his own team is tired of his bullshit at this point.

 
"MMA is new to Bobby. I don’t have anything against him. Someday he could be good for MMA. I welcome him, after I beat him, to work at our club (Hellhouse) to learn how to fight. Lashley’s going to find out that this is MMA not WWE. He’s in for a rude awakening, which probably will be a good thing — he’ll be fighting a real MMA guy…This is for real. How long have you been faking? How long in the WWE? How long has it been since somebody hit you on the chin for real?"

— Jason Guida, quoted at yesterday’s "March Badness" press conference. The 17-19 fighter hopes to snap a three-fight losing streak against former WWE star Bobby Lashley (1-0) this Saturday night in Pensacola, Florida. The fact that Lashley is a jacked 250-pounder and Guida is a pudgy light-heavyweight doesn’t seem to bother him, but oh man is this going to be a massacre. Our only hope is that Guida has a chance to do his "disappearing mouthpiece" trick during the fight. Always a crowd-pleaser…

(‘Who me?’)

Our good friend Ariel Helwani over at Versus.com has the scoop on Ken Shamrock’s replacement against Bobby Lashley for Roy Jones Jr’s “March Badness” event, and it’s Jason Guida, brother of UFC lightweight Clay Guida.  If that name sounds familiar for another reason, it’s probably because Guida was scheduled to be a participant for season eight of “The Ultimate Fighter,” but couldn’t make weight and was ruled ineligible after much pain and suffering and exposure of genitals.  Now the 17-19 Guida will take on Lashley, who’s appearing in just his second pro fight.

As late replacements go, this isn’t a terrible one.  Guida is experienced, though not exactly a stand-out.  The guy’s lost his last three fights and has competed in an array of different weight classes with very mixed (read: unremarkable) results.  But at least he’s not really old and – judging from his physique – doesn’t seem to be on steroids.  He’s also a passionate cornerman, for what that’s worth.

Though Guida lacks the name recognition of Shamrock, he’s the kind of fighter who a hot prospect like Lashley ought to be able to beat if he is indeed a hot prospect.  If he can’t, then he isn’t.  Simple as that.  Now please, don’t anybody go and do something to screw this thing up.

(“Pee Wee” wrecks “The Meat Truck.”)

Dave Herman def. Kerry Schall via TKO (strikes) at 1:06 of round 1
Mamed Khalidov def. Jason Guida via TKO (strikes) at 4:53 of round 2
Anthony Lapsley def. Mike Stumpf via decision
Alexander Shlemenko def. Bubba McDaniel via TKO (knee) at 5:00 of round 1
Lyle Beerbohm def. Rafaello Oliveira via TKO (cut) at 5:00 of round 1
Matt Jaggers def. Orville Smith via unanimous decision
Jared McMahan def. Jacob Hey via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:11 of round 1
Tiawan Howard def. Johnny Hughes via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:42 of round 1
Josh Barnes def. Jeremy Norton via TKO (strikes) at 2:22 of round 1
Deray Davis def. John Kuhner via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:53 of round 2

More videos after the jump.

(“Pee Wee” and “Meat Truck” get ready to mix it up. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin for EliteXC.)

EliteXC soldiers on tonight with another installment of their minor-league series ShoXC, which will go down at the Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, Indiana, and will be broadcast on Showtime at 11 p.m. ET/PT. Headlining the event is a heavyweight match between the undefeated Dave “Pee Wee” Herman and TUF 2 castmember Kerry Schall. Ten of Herman’s 11 wins have come via first-round stoppage; his most recent fight was a TKO win over Ron Waterman in June. Schall has dropped his last two to Antoine Hayes and Shane Ott, and will most likely get creamed tonight.

Jason “Fail” Guida (17-17) also returns to the cage, taking on Mahmed “Cannibal” Khalidov (14-3-1), a Chechen fighter who has become one of the biggest MMA rising stars in Poland. Russian knockout artist Alexander “Storm” Shlemenko (21-3) will be making his U.S. debut against Robert “Bubba” McDaniel (11-4), who most recently choked out Icon Sport champ Kala Kolohe Hose in 41 seconds during a non-title match at EliteXC: The Return of the King in June. And in the Battle of the Dudes With the Shittiest Nicknames, Lyle “Fancy Pants” Beerbohm (7-0) takes on Rafaello “Tractor” Oliveira (5-0); Tractor holds a win over Fabio Fabio and two wins over Big Big. At the very least, it’ll be worth a DVR’ing.

As for tomorrow night, if you’re in the Las Vegas area you’ll want to hit up the Thomas & Mack Center for “A Night of Combat II.” Co-promoted by Kim Couture, the event will feature Jay Hieron, Rick Roufus, Josh Haynes, Mike Pyle, Gideon Ray, John Alessio and more. Tickets range from $18-$53 — at those prices, you can’t afford not to go.

(You don’t mess with a black man named “Lance.”)

As if their ongoing financial troubles aren’t enough of a sign that EliteXC is circling the drain, how’s this: According to FiveOuncesofPain, the House That Gary Built has just signed weight-loss failure Jason Guida (17-17) to a fight contract. (Way to pursue that world-class talent, guys. Dana White just LHFAO.) Guida will reportedly make his EliteXC debut at an October 10th ShoXC event in Hammond, Indiana, against Mamed “Cannibal” Khalidov a Chechen fighter who has primarily competed in Poland, and who has gone 11-0-1 in his last 12 fights.

5oz. also reports that Rashad Evans’s older bro Lance Evans (2-2) — who was bounced out of last night’s Ultimate Fighter elimination round after suffering a rib injury during his fight against Vinny Magalhaes — will be returning to Canada’s TKO Championship Fighting outfit, and will take on former hockey enforcer Steve Bosse at TKO 35, which goes down October 3rd at Montreal’s Bell Centre.

One more light-heavyweight TUF Guy has apparently been signed to another organization, but he’s technically still on the show, so don’t click “More” if you want to keep the Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir experience pure as the driven snow.

The season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir began not with a bang, but with a whimper: As the 32 UFC hopefuls lined up to get pep-talked by Dana White, Phillipe Nover got a case of the vapors and passed out. (Is this show hardcore or what?!) To add further embarrassment to his situation, nobody seems to know how to pronounce Nover’s first name. He says “Filip,” but everyone else decides to go with the more ethnic-sounding “fi-LEEP” or “fi-LEEP-ay.” The guys are told they’ll be given 24 hours to cut weight, and will fight the following day. Our Guamanian buddy Joe Duarte comes in ten pounds over, but it ain’t no thing to him. Jason Guida, on the other hand, comes in like 47 pounds over.

During his agonizing cutting process, Guida pukes into a toilet like a sorority girl after a big date, then cramps up completely and his team has to look at his balls flopping out of his towel (see above). A doctor checks him out and says he can weigh in one more time before he’s given IV fluids and taken to a hospital. His final score: 207. One pound away. He fucked up, and he’s furious. He tells NSAC executive director Keith Kizer that he’ll “never be forgiven.” We are treated to this classic exchange…

Guida: “Just let me do this, doc.”
Kizer: “I’m not a doc, but no.”

And Mike Stewart, who was hanging out in the parking lot for just such an opportunity, gets in as an alternate. Then it’s time for the fights…

Krzystof Soszynski vs. Mike Stewart (205): Stewart gets jacked right away with a huge left hook, and then swarmed with strikes until the ref stops it. Back to the parking lot, buddy. By the way, there’s no fucking way I’m spelling out “Krzystof Soszynski” ever again. He will be referred to as K-Sos from now on.

Fernando Bernstein vs Dave Kaplan (155): Bernstein, a man after my own Hispanojew heart, faces another nice Jewish boy in Kaplan. Bernstein seems to strictly be a kickboxer, though, and after some ferocious striking exchanges, Kaplan gets the fight to the ground and sinks in a rear-naked choke. Dana suggests that Bernstein change his nickname from “Machete” to “Butter Knife.”

(Props: CombatWire via Sean McCorkle)

As we learned on Monday, tonight’s season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir features Jason Guida nearly killing himself trying to make weight. We may never get to see him fight in the Octagon — but we do know that he’s one of the most ferocious cornermen in the world. Here he is pitching a shit-fit between rounds during a fight at a Primetime Fighting Championships event in May. Apparently the ref called for a standup at the end of the first round, which led to Guida’s boy John Murphy getting cut with a knee by Jeremy Ashley; Murphy eventually won by decision. Guida should consider himself lucky that the ref didn’t do this to him. Now if only he could put that same intensity into not eating cheese-steaks, he could be a contender.

Remember last season of The Ultimate Fighter when they had 32 guys immediately fight for 16 spots in the house, and advised everyone not to come in more than five pounds over? Well, Jason Guida doesn’t; like, at all. The Chicago-based fighter — who’s better known as the older brother of UFC lightweight gatekeeper Clay Guida — arrived heavy at the first day of filming, and was unable to cut down to the 205-pound limit for his elimination fight. According to MMA Rated:

One source told us that he thought Guida’s inability to cut the weight would be used to add some drama to an early episode, comparing it to Gabe Rudiger’s unflattering exit when he was unable to make weight during TUF 5.

Not sure if this makes Guida a pussy or a poser, but either way, he’s gone. And it’s a shame because a stint on TUF could have helped turn his fortunes around. Guida carries a 17-17 record and has bounced around a number of regional promotions in his five-year career; he had his most high-profile bout to date at Adrenaline MMA 1 in June, where he was submitted in the first round by heavyweight Mike Russow. (Fun fact: Guida went 0-5 with two no-contests in his first seven pro bouts, so he’s nothing if not persistent.) No word yet on who, if anyone, replaced Guida in his TUF entrance fight.

(Admit it, the camera loves him.)

It’s almost time again for everyone’s favorite MMA-themed reality show, Spike TV’s “The Ultimate Fighter.” A lot of you were disappointed to hear that Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir would be coaching this edition, but does that mean you’ll follow through on your empty threats not to watch when the show premieres on September 17?

Season eight is all about the lightweights and light heavyweights, and the official cast was announced today by Sports Illustrated. Yours truly even has an article about what to expect and what to watch for this time around, which you can read and then send me a hateful email about here. As for the cast list, feast your eyes:

LIGHTWEIGHT

Jose Aguilar
Age: 25
MMA Record: 17-3-0
Trains With: Grapplers Edge
Location: Las Cruces, N.M.

Fernando Bernstein
Age: 25
MMA Record: 2-0-0
Trains With: Progressive Martial Arts
Location: San Clemente, Calif.

Junie Allen Browning
Age: 22
MMA Record: 2-0-0
Trains With: Four Seasons Martial Arts
Location: Lexington, Ky.

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(Mayhem is not to be underestimated.)

Hat tip to BloodyElbow for alerting us that all three major MMA events this weekend are open for wagering at BetCris.com. Let’s run through the numbers…

EliteXC: Return of the King (June 14th; Honolulu, Hawaii; live on Showtime)
Yves Edwards (-130) vs. KJ Noons (even)
Nick Diaz (-450) vs. Mushin Corbbrey (+370)
Murilo Rua (-250) vs. Tony Bonello (+200)
Dave Herman (-155) vs. Ron Waterman (+125)
Rafael Feijao (-280) vs. Wayne Cole (+220)

Notes: Nick Diaz just got surgery to file down his sharp ocular bones, which is supposed to prevent his face from shredding so easily (and losing him another fight). Sounds dodgy to me, and it hasn’t yet been proven that the procedure was a practical success. With odds that wide and Diaz’s scar tissue still a question mark, we’d definitely throw a double-sawbuck on Corbbrey, who has shown some great submissions in his relatively brief career. Undefeated Australian King of the Cage vet Tony Bonello (16-0-1, 14 wins by submission) may also be a good underdog bet, even if the competition he’s faced is nowhere near the level of the guys that Ninja Rua has gone up against.

Scheduled to face Mike Russow in the main event of Adrenaline MMA‘s debut show in Chicago, Jeff Monson has been forced to pull out of the match due to a not-quite-healed broken hand that he sustained in his Sengoku II bout against Josh Barnett last month. Replacing Monson will be Jason Guida, a Chicago-based fighter (and brother of UFC lightweight Clay Guida) who has built a record of 17-15 in various regional organizations. It’s an odd choice considering Guida has competed mostly as a middleweight, two weight classes under Russow, but according to Adrenaline honcho Monte Cox:

“It made sense for me at this point to go with two Chicago guys fighting each other. And they come from different camps in the same city and I just thought, you know what, this will probably sell me more tickets than anyone I can get on a week’s notice.”

Jeff Monson is still officially on the Godz of War card in Charlotte, even though it takes place just one week later. Saddled with a dodgy hand, the Snowman probably knew that he wouldn’t be able to compete on consecutive weekends, and was forced to make a decision — and it looks like he went with the higher-profile opponent in Ricco Rodriguez.