(Fredbird hypes up Robbie Lawler before he throws out the first pitch at yesterday’s Cardinals/Reds game at Busch Stadium. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin/Strikeforce.)

- Urijah Faber and Mike Brown fill out Sports Illustrated‘s "Cheerleader of the Week" questionnaire. Hilarity ensues. (Asylum)

- Due to Cung Le’s movie career, Strikeforce will soon introduce an interim middleweight belt. (CageWriter)

- As if Team U.S.A. needed another reason to hate Jason Pierce. (SPIKE)

- Fedor Emelianenko discusses why he couldn’t sign with the UFC. (MMA Fanhouse)

- USA Wrestling is trying to bribe wrestlers not to jump ship to MMA. (Fightlinker)

- It’ll be Choi vs. Minowa and Mousasi vs. Sokoudjou in the second round of DREAM’s "Super Hulk" tournament. (MMA Mania)

- Kenny Florian will join the broadcast team at WEC 41 on Sunday. (MMA Junkie)

- Weigh-in results for tonight’s Bellator show. (MMA Madness)

- Mike Brown discusses how he got his start in fighting, and how his loss to Joe Lauzon turned his career around. (Scores Report)

- Urijah Faber is packing on leg muscle and working on a clothing line. (Ask Men)

- Redneck backyard MMA fight ends in head-kick KO. (NothingToxic)

- Spiders Flee From Paris Hilton’s Vagina. (HolyTaco)

- Trailer and production photos from It Might Get Loud, starring Jimmy Page, Jack White, and the Edge. (ScreenJunkies)

- Wreck of the Week: Drunk Fan Edition. (AllLeftTurns)

- Daily Market Madness. (WallStreetFighter)

- The Citizen Kane of beer pong trick-shot videos. (Break)

(Jeff Lawson lives like he fights: Balls to the wall.)

Sorry for missing last week’s blog. I have been traveling a lot and haven’t had the chance to sit down and write much.

"Parce!" The name turns my stomach. Honestly, I can’t believe that I have to continuously see this wretch on TV and write about him. He certainly has received his fifteen minutes. And hopefully after this I don’t have to waste the oxygen in my lungs to speak about the cantankerous fellow, or the typing power in my fingers to peck away at my keyboard, giving him any more notoriety than he has already stolen from every other deserving member on the show.

"Parce" (that is "Pierce" said with a British accent) came from a day when all of the Americans were playing pool together except him. Yes, even Jason "I bang my head against the wall" Dent was kickin’ it with the team. I decided that even though there was much disdain toward the fellow, I would invite him to come down to join our dysfunctional group. I yelled to Pierce, who was upstairs at the time, to come down and play pool with us. I called and called, but was not answered. Then it hit me! I turned to the other guys and said, "Oh, he can’t understand me." Then I started yelling in a British accent (a poor one at that) "Parce! Come down here good chap. Parce!" Looking back at the guys I explained that he could only understand words if spoken like a Brit. So that’s how that whole thing got started.

TUF 9.8 Stoppage and Kara DioGuardi Strips Down – Watch more Funny Videos

Last night, doe-eyed heartthrob Kris Allen pulled out a stunning victory over scream-queen Adam Lambert to become 2009′s American Idol. The two-hour-plus finale broadcast included guest performances by Kiss, Carlos Santana, Cyndi Lauper, Brian May/Roger Taylor, and a near-death Rod Stewart, and Kara DioGuardi ripped her clothes off for charity, which was fucking epic (I know, I’m sorry), and my God that woman is like the new Elaine Benes, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Directly after, on a fledgling cable channel called Spiked Television (I think?), there was a new reality show about what happens when 16 guys who live together in a house stop being polite and start getting real. Half of them had strange accents, and a fight broke out at the end.

This is their story.