(Watch out for that metal thing? / Props: Maury Povich via ScreenJunkies)

God damn you, ReX13. His running gag this week inspired us to revive an old, dead CagePotato feature, in which we take a moment to recognize some of your efforts in the comments section. Will we forget about this by next Friday? Maybe. Maybe not. All we have is this moment. And now, the eight greatest comments of the week…

ReX13 on “Report: Miesha Tate to Defend Strikeforce Title Against Ronda Rousey on March 3rd” [selected highlights]:
- “If you weren’t pretty, it wouldn’t matter what you said or didn’t say. That’s why you’re getting this attention.” – Miesha Tate
- “Man, Stalin was a real asshole, killing his own people like that.” – Pol Pot
- “Wow, that Bachmann chick is stuck on turbo-crazy. The only reason people are giving her the time of day is because she’s a relatively attractive woman in the Republican party. Does she hear the words that are coming out of her mouth?” – Sarah Palin
- “Goddammit, I’ve spent fifteen years in this neighborhood trying to increase property vaules, and a whole fucking passel of kettles just moved in next door. With their hippity hop music and Tyler Perry movies…..we better get a dog, honey.” – Pot
- “Bobby Flay is kinda a douche, you guys.” – Guy Fieri
- “The Duggars should stop having children. Can they even handle the children they already have?” – Nadya “Octomom” Suleman
- “That Octomom is such an attention whore.” – Kate Gosselin
- “Fuck you, bitch.” – Nadya Suleman

ElDandy on “Video of the Day: Fabricio Werdum Is as Inappropriate as We Are and Fedor Isn’t Impressed“
Fedor’s high priest looks like every dude I’ve ever seen at a Widespread concert.

Fried Taco on “Aw Geez, Now BJ Penn is Calling Nick Diaz a Cheater“:
At least BJ is right about one thing. No one will ever accuse him of being the bigger man.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/MrPromoMma)

If you didn’t catch the Mitrione Minute above from The MMA Hour back in March where Matt Mitrione poked fun at Jenna Jameson, watch it so the video you’re about to see makes sense.

(“Well, she’s retired now, but she used to be in the import/export business, specializing in other dudes’ penises.”)

Tito Ortiz‘s last-chance fight against Ryan Bader is less than three months away, so obviously, those muckraking sons-of-bitches at MadeMan.com thought it would be a good time to interview Tito about his relationship with former porn “entrepreneur” Jenna Jameson. Personally, I liked this exchange:

MadeMan: Do you feel any jealousy when guys come up to her?

Tito Ortiz: Of course! I’m human. I get jealous. But I trust Jenna no matter what. So, I let her do her thing. It really doesn’t bother me, if I don’t think about it!

MadeMan: On the flip side, it’s got to be a big turn-on, knowing men across the country go slack-jawed watching your wife work…

When Tito Ortiz tweeted the message above Wednesday night rumors began swirling that the injury-plagued former UFC light heavyweight champion may be walking away from the sport of MMA in spite of an impending UFC 132 bout with Ryan Bader.

It now looks like “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” was referring to his relationship with former adult film actress Jenna Jameson and not his mixed martial arts career when he said he was out.

When asked last night about what Ortiz meant by his cryptic message, the mother of his twin two-year-old sons, Journey and Jette, played coy.

(Tito and Jenna minutes before being banned for life by Chuck E. Cheese.)

Well, it’s official: Broadway doesn’t discriminate against people with no acting or singing experience who used to be paid to have sex.

According to the New York Post, former porn star and current common-law wife of former UFC light heavyweight champion Tito Ortiz, Jenna Jameson is in the running for the role of strip club owner Justice in the New York-based rock musical, "Rock of Ages."

In her defense, she did convince everybody that Tito beat the shit out of her, then had us all believe that it was all a big misunderstanding and that her injured arm was her fault and not The Huntington Beach Badboy’s.

According to Jameson, who was to meet with the show’s producers today, playing the role of a former stripper will be easy, considering she can be very believable when she talks about Tito being the best fighter ever and becoming a UFC champion again some day.

"I’m meeting with the producers [today], and I just hope I have enough talent to carry the role. We are talking about a run that would be anything from a month to three months, and it could start very soon."I think I’m perfect for the role, and I am really looking forward to becoming a New Yorker."

If she gets the role, I predict Jenna leaves the kids with Tito, moves to NY and hooks up with a co-star like 90% of married actors and he will blame the situation on an injury he suffered while single-parenting.

What will the MMA world do without Jennito?

(Oh, Jenna. When will you learn?)

You’ll all be happy to know that Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson are now officially free to go on with their trainwreck life together now that the Orange County District Attorney’s office has decided to close their case without laying charges against the former UFC light heavyweight champion for the highly publicized April 26 fight between the pair at their Huntington Beach home.

("Okay, fine, I abused her *this* much.")

From a new report on Sherdog:

Tito Ortiz and longtime girlfriend Jenna Jameson appear to be on the road to some form of reconciliation following an incident Monday that led to the fighter’s arrest and later accusations of the former adult star’s alleged drug use…

Ortiz’s lawyer, Chip Matthews, told Sherdog.com on Friday that the entire incident was just a “misunderstanding.” Matthews also said it was his understanding that statements made by Ortiz and Jameson on Monday to officers during his arrest would either be altered or retracted by the parties, as was first reported by TMZ.com on Thursday.

“Both sides are interested in the truth coming out and for the welfare of their children and bringing an end to this,” Matthews told Sherdog.com on Friday. Matthews would not confirm if Ortiz and Jameson are in direct communication due to the ongoing investigation…

(For the next few weeks, "Comments of the Week" winners will score subscriptions to our favorite MMA-rag, Fight! Magazine. Follow Fight! on Twitter, and pick up the latest issue on newsstands now. Pictured above: "Gens" himself.)

There are some people in this world who are so socially inept and abrasive in real life that they can only function on the Internet, relying on non-relationships with total strangers via message boards and blog comments. And then, there are some people who can’t even do that right. Such is the case with "thisredengine," a truly bizarre individual who showed up here out of the blue on Tuesday, and immediately tried to impress all of you by claiming the following:

– He’s pretty well-known and respected over at BloodyElbow.com, and regularly tweets with Leland Roling. He’s pretty much an unofficial staffer there.
– MMA legend "Gens" Pulver once acknowledged something he wrote.
– He’s a jet-setting world traveler, on account of his job.
– He considers himself "one of the cool kids in the MMA community."
– He considers himself and BE’s Luke Thomas to be "a level above most in MMA conversations." The readers of this site would not be able to hang on his conversation-level.
– He ignores all comments from people he doesn’t know, which on this site would be everybody.

Though many of us (including myself) begged him to fuck off and leave us alone, he refused to fuck off. And so, new contributor ReX13 hit him with what will go down in history as the "I Have a Dream" speech of CagePotato.com…

(I was going to say "work it out for the kids," but for God’s sake, look at those little monsters. You’re better off putting them in an orphanage and cutting your losses at this point.)

Casting doubt on Tito Ortiz‘s claim that baby-momma Jenna Jameson "relapsed" on OxyContin, TMZ reports that Jameson tested clean for 10 major drugs the day after their little domestic abuse misunderstanding:

We’ve learned the results of the test, administered Tuesday by American Toxicology Inc. in Las Vegas, show Jenna’s urine tested "negative" for the ten major drugs they were screening for, a list that included cocaine, weed, meth and oxycodone — the major ingredient in OxyContin…Now, after receiving the results of the test, Jenna is reaffirming her claim telling us, "I am definitely not addicted to OxyContin or any drug.”

(Do a shot every time Tito’s attorney says "unfortunately." Video courtesy of KTLA via MMA Weekly.)

Directly after being released by the Huntington Beach Police Department yesterday on $25,000 bail, Tito Ortiz and his attorney Chip Matthews organized a news conference in North Hollywood to address his domestic assault charges. Their side of the story goes like this: Ortiz "never laid a hand on" his girlfriend Jenna Jameson. Jameson, an OxyContin addict for over a year (so they say), relapsed on the notorious painkiller, and when Tito confronted her about some pills that he’d found in their house, things got heated. After he left, she contacted the police department through another individual; her father Larry Massoli, reportedly. An emotional Ortiz thanked his fans and family for their support. He said he saw his parents go through addiction, and wouldn’t let it affect his family again. "I hold everything dear to my heart that Jenna will be okay," he said.

Of course, Jenna’s account of what transpired is markedly different…

(Dana White and Tito Ortiz during happier times)

UFC president Dana White was contacted this afternoon by TMZ to enquire about whether or not Tito Ortiz would likely be let go from the promotion due to the felony domestic violence charges that were laid against "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy" stemming from an alleged assault on his girlfriend Jenna Jameson this morning. 

(Video courtesy TMZ.com)

Jenna Jameson is asked by a TMZ reporter if she plans to press charges against her longtime boyfriend, former UFC light heavyweight champion Tito Ortiz, for allegedly assaulting her in their Huntington Beach, CA home earlier today, to which she replies, "Of course."

When asked by the cameraman about what transpired that morning, Jenna said she couldn’t talk about it, but reassured him that, both she and her twin 13-month-old boys would be fine.

"Everything is okay," Jameson said. "He’s in jail."

Video of Ortiz’s arrest after the jump.

(Ortiz and Jameson in happier times)

TMZ is reporting the injury-plagued UFC light heavyweight Tito Ortiz has been arrested for felony domestic assault and is en-route to jail in Orange County, CA.

Police responded to a 911 call at the home that Ortiz and longtime girlfriend Jenna Jameson share with their twin sons. According to the report, sheriff’s deputies noted "visible injuries" on Jameson, prompting the arrest of "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy."

We’ll have more as details become available.

(‘Abe Lincoln and Mary Todd got nothing on us, baby.’)

Sometimes you have to stop and wonder how people ever dealt with hardship before the invention of Twitter. Before the age when one could broadcast one’s own personal tragedies in 140 characters or less, how did we ever get along? I mean, say you’re a woman who recently went through a miscarriage, as Jenna Jameson claimed on her Twitter account recently. What are you supposed to do with that pain, keep it to yourself? Only share it with close friends and family members? Some life that would be. Your 97,000 followers on Twitter absolutely need to know about this, just like they need to know about the really bad flu your famous pro fighter boyfriend is suffering from, and about your desire to be in an all-girl rock band.

And see, that’s just a couple of days in the Twitter life of Tito and Jenna. A few weeks ago Ortiz raised eyebrows with cryptic messages about how difficult his life had become, prompting all manner of speculation about his health and general well being. Now he tweets that he’s suffering from “the worst ful I have every had [sic]. More IV’s please.”

(The Coleman: this year’s most terrifying Halloween costume. Photo courtesy of MMA Authentics.)

If Tito Ortiz thought he could call Mark Coleman a sissy for pulling out of their UFC 106 fight on November 21 without any repercussions whatsoever, he clearly didn’t account for Coleman’s manager, Mike DiSabato.  After Ortiz ripped his fighter on Twitter, DiSabato fired back by blasting Ortiz for “get[ting] personal with a legend,” then launched into a tirade about Ortiz and his porn star girlfriend, Jenna Jameson.  That’s right.  He went there:

“The only thing Coleman is afraid of when it comes to Tito is contracting swine flu from that dirty ass d-bag.  We all know where he lays his head down at night. Tito wants to get personal with a legend? OK, let’s get personal – we can all go to our porn collections and watch what Tito sleeps with night after night.”

There are only two words we can say about that.  They are OH and SNAP.  Turns out that Coleman’s purported sissyness is the result of a torn MCL, though DiSabato says Coleman will be ready to fight by January 2 and suggested that the fight be postponed until UFC 108.  Presumably that will also give Coleman’s camp more time to have Ortiz tested for swine flu, which, as we all know, is the scourge of the porn industry.

(Props: Hywel Teague; hint)

(Props: Mouastarz209; hint)

Yesterday we took a look at some classic MMA moments recreated in MS Paint, and suffice it to say, Potato Nation was inspired. Thanks to everyone who e-mailed us drawings of their own, many of which made us laugh our asses off. Our two favorites are above, and a few more are after the jump. Yes, you’re all eligible for free t-shirts.

Remember that awful movie starring the powerhouse acting duo of Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz?  Sure you do, it’s called “Zombie Strippers!” and reading the plot synopsis alone is guaranteed to lower your IQ.  But give Spike TV credit, they recognize when something is so terrible that it’s actually enjoyable (as if the fact that the movie has an exclamation point in its title isn’t a dead giveaway). 

That’s why they’re premiering the movie this Sunday night, and making absolutely no bones about how horrible it is with this press release they sent out today:

New York, NY, April 15, 2009 – Described as a combination of "Citizen Kane" meets "The Godfather" meets "A River Runs Through It," Spike TV presents the world television premiere of the sweeping epic "Zombie Strippers!" on Sunday, April 19 (10:00pm-12:00am ET/PT).

("Mommmmm, you’re embarassing me!")

Netterbog on "Jenna Jameson Gives Birth to Two Lil’ Tito’s": As #2 was turtle-heading its way out, I wonder if Tito gazed lovingly into Jenna’s eyes and said, "let me tell you how you’re feeling right now."
[Ed. note: "Babe, made you me the happiest on Earth man."]

Ted Nutmeg on "Karo Parisyan Suspended, Fined, Stripped of Last Win, and Told ‘Good Day’ by NSAC": Commissioner John Bailey’s statement that the NSAC "can’t have fighters drifting in and out of reality" should have far-reaching implications. At a minimum, I foresee lifetime bans for B.J. Penn, Tim Sylvia, Tito Ortiz, Patrick Cote’s friends, and anyone who has ever had any affiliation with the Lion’s Den at any point in his life.

FEDORISAPUSSY on "Must-See: Franky Van Hove, the One-Legged MMA Fighter": Talk about a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!
[Ed. note: For real. I bet Franky's cornermen never have to tell him to "stay busy".]

Marcer on "BJ Penn to Possibly Form Cult, Lead Unholy Army of Martial Arts Instructors": I came across a few examples of the classes that will be offered at this camp:
"PENN 101 – Maintaining narcissism in the face of adverse reality
PENN 213 – Increasing Chi by consuming blood
PENN 122 – The fundamentals of shit talking
PENN 203 – Cooking with a deep fat fryer – With a short intermission to cover cardiovascular training in its entirety"

If your name has been called, e-mail feedback@cagepotato.com with your name, address, and shirt-size, and we’ll get a CP "Hall of Fame" t-shirt out to you post-haste!

(Welcome to the world, Jameson twins.  You’re screwed.)

Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson have put the unfathomable power of their two super-brains to work and come up with names for their newborn twins: Jesse and Journey Jett. 

You know, considering who their parents are, I’d say these kids got off pretty easy.  Although it is a bit of a screw-job to give one kid a normal name and then name the other after a band that won’t even be ironically cool anymore by the time they’re in junior high.  But hey, as long as they’re both carrying around the illustrious Jameson surname neither one of them is going to be lacking in emotional baggage.

In other news…

(Replicating themselves at a frightening pace.)

Porn actress Jenna Jameson gave birth to twin boys in Newport Beach, California today, ensuring that Tito Ortiz’s genetic line will march proudly on into the future.  If you’re like me, you are now imagining two infants with gigantic heads like their father and vacant, surgically weirded-out eyes like their mother.  Adorable.

We already hypothesized that any children to come out of the unholy Ortiz-Jameson union would have the potential to be serious bad-asses, since their father is a world famous fighter and their mother is a world famous fornicator.  You just have to imagine that some fights will erupt on the playground once the other kids know enough to make fun of this unique parentage.  I mean, I grew up with a kid whose mom was the school lunch lady and he had to defend her honor on more than one occasion. 

Now imagine if instead of serving up soggy tater tots in a hair net, your mom was blowing dudes while a midget watched, and the video was readily available on the internet.

Props to CombatLifestyle, Sherdog, UFC.com, Fight! Magazine, TMZ, and the Las Vegas Sun.

#12: Wanderlei Silva celebrates his destruction of Keith Jardine at UFC 84.

#11: Urijah Faber bags himself a couple of sasquatches.

#10: Rashad Evans rushes in to finish an already knocked-dead Chuck Liddell at UFC 88.

#9 (tie): Paul Taylor knocks Chris Lytle’s jaw loose; Taylor gets his foot lodged in Lytle’s mouth.

After the jump: A naked Gina Carano, a punch-drunk Kimbo Slice, and a rather disappointed Joe Stevenson.

(Jenna, you shouldn’t have. You really, really shouldn’t have.)

Holy crap! CagePotato.com turns one year old today, y’all! Many thanks to those of you who have stuck with us since the beginning — or the close-to-beginning, at least — and helped build this little site into what I believe is the most entertaining and energetic MMA community on the Internet. Lots of bigger and badder things to come, so stay tuned and tell your friends. To honor this day, let’s take a trip in the way-back machine, and revisit 25 of CagePotato’s all-time greatest moments. Enjoy…
(BG)

Sylvia’s ego, Franklin’s face get battered at UFC 77 (First-ever post on CagePotato)

The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever

Urijah Faber: Hard Out Here for a Pimp (CP’s first original interview)

Gone, Baby, Gone: Hard Luck and Fast Money at the IFl World Grand Prix

The Top 10 Gracies of All Time

Kimbo Slice Loves CagePotato!

Blogger Power! UFC Fight Night 13 Stretched to Three Hours (possibly my favorite photo caption, though this one‘s pretty dear to me as well)

“Tappin’ Out’s for *Whores*”: Matt Serra at the 7/11

The Eight Most Insane Victory Celebrations of All Time

The 10 Most Despicable People in MMA

The 10 Hottest Ring Girls in MMA

Nogueira, Mir to Coach Next Season of TUF (Fowlkes scoops the Internet by a full month)

Dear Guy Attending This Live MMA Event: An Open Letter

(“We’re thinking about home-schooling them.”)

Twins, in other words. From venerable gossip site PerezHilton:

Double The Baby Joy!

As PerezHilton.com was the first to exclusively confirm, Jenna Jameson and boyfriend Tito Ortiz are expecting their first child. Well, now, sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that the blonde beauty is having twins!

“They’re having twins,” a friend of the superstar tells us. “Jenna and Tito just found out. They are beyond thrilled!”

The happy couple just bought a new — much bigger home — for their growing family in the beach near Los Angeles, sources tell us.

Congrats to the happy couple!!!

Perez’s enthusiasm seemed to come as a shock to his readers, who were perhaps expecting him to illustrate the article with penises crudely drawn on an ultrasound photo. Some sample comments…

rondonna: “This site is a fucking joke anymore. Why would we congratulate this pig and her loser husband. That poor kid, oh, my mom was a porn star, Poor thing.”

PooPooButt: “Hope they both die, what a horrible existance it would be to have that fucked off whore as a mother.”

BritneyBitch: “What the fuck is up with Perez supporting a true whore and hating on a young teen girls who are not even whore…yet he calls them sluts? Must be really hard being a fat man who takes cock in the ass.”

And so on. Feel free to suggest names for the double-bundles of joy in the comments section. If they’re boys, I’m thinking “Team” and “Punishment,” and if they’re girls, maybe “Punishment” and “Athletics.”

(Props: “Old, Bald & Irish”)

- Because he loves him some publicity, Dana White will appear on A&E’s “Mindfreak” with magician Criss Angel tonight. You say you’re not going to watch, but let’s not kid ourselves. You’re going to pretend to watch the Democratic National Convention, then get bored when there are no crazy MMA riots breaking out, and suddenly you’re thinking, ‘Man, my mind could really use a good freaking right about now.’ Boom! A&E’s got you covered. If you want a taste of Criss Angel’s particularly cloying brand of magic, I recommend this little gem.

- The ever-elusive Lyoto Machida says his fight against Thiago Silva at UFC 89 isn’t going to be another snoozefest. As he told Tatame: “I believe this fight won’t go to decision… Thiago likes to fight aggressively, me too, he has good MMA techniques, so I believe this fight might finish before the third round.” Seems like he stops just short of actually committing to finishing, or saying that he’ll be the one to finish it. Even this guy’s interviews are, um, tactical.

- Chuck Liddell’s nutritional supplement company, Iceman Rx, is anticipating a Liddell victory over Rashad Evans at UFC 88. They’re even running a sweepstakes to coincide with UFC 92, where Liddell might conceivably challenge Forrest Griffin for the UFC light heavyweight title if he is victorious next weekend. And what does the winner of that sweepstakes get? An Iceman Rx Hummer H2. Even has a picture of Liddell on the side. Rumor has it he only decided to give it away after seeing what happened to Rampage. I started that rumor.

- You thought our jokes about the Tito Ortiz/Jenna Jameson baby news were in poor taste? Just check out The Sun. They pull no punches over in the UK press, and their photoshops are meaner. Kudos to them for referring to Jenna’s porn flicks as “blue movies.” That mixture of cruelty and decorum is why I love the Brits.

(‘Ain’t love beautiful and totally freaking bizarre, baby?’)

Okay, so that headline might be slightly misleading. All we know for sure is that there is a baby inside Jenna Jameson. How it happened and who’s to blame, that’s all speculation until they go on the Maury Povich show to get the DNA test done. The real question is, when the results are announced, will Tito be the type of guy who launches into a awesomely inappropriate celebration dance? Oh, these timeless questions.

Our friends over at Holy Taco have more on Jenna’s official pregnancy announcement, as well as a hilarious take on what the fateful night of conception must have been like. Naturally, this is followed by a photoshop that will probably condemn you to hell for all eternity just for looking at it. As if you weren’t headed there, anyway.

We can’t help but wonder what kind of child will come out of this union of bodily fluids. Being the progeny of famous people already increases your chances of being a total screw-up in life, even more so than being the progeny of rich people, and this kid will be both.

But beyond that, it will also be the child of two people who are famous for, shall we say, unconventional reasons. Perhaps no other child in the history of the universe will have as many opportunities to get in fights with kids at school who say things about his mother, while also having such great chances to win all those fights via ground-and-pound.

Could this be the perfect recipe for creating a future MMA star? Maybe. Or else he’ll grow up hating his parents and become an ultra-conservative evangelical preacher who leads aggressive campaigns to outlaw pornography, pro fighting, hastily-thrown-together memoirs, and hair dye. Either way, this child is going to be something special.

Either that or she’s going over lines for her next movie. Hey-oh!

(Props: MMAFightGirls)

Author/entrepreneur/retired porn star Jenna Jameson has decided that simply nodding along in support while boyfriend Tito Ortiz does his excruciating TV/video interviews isn’t enough, and she’s taken to her MySpace blog to write a public letter to Dana White. Here’s how it starts off:

I usually don’t comment on nastiness in the press, but I couldn’t ignore Dana Whites’ ramblings any longer. His latest interview referring to Tito as a “moron” for the hundredth time… will not go unnoticed.

so here goes…

Dana White – Pre Pubesent Schoolyard Bully
By Jenna Jameson

Oh man. The rest of the post sounds a lot like the hundreds of other anti-Dana rants you’ve probably read over the last few months on MMA websites and blogs (this one included), but here are the most notable excerpts:

— “Dana White’s insistance of my lack of brain power smacks of 18th century beliefs that women (all women) are inferior to the male species. Ignoring a persons achievements or simply their IQ due to the fact they have a vagina instead of a penis, explains Danas simplicity.”

— “The most interesting story here, is the silence by the UFC. How do they sit back, silent, and allow their ‘figure head’ to endanger the worth of their empire? Business must be tended to with a level head, or it usually self implodes.”

— It is plainly obvious that it isn’t just a coincidence that so many champions have chosen to test the waters beyond the UFC trainwreck.”

— [M]aybe the UFC should mandate steroid testing to company presidents, then maybe the company could continue its massive dominance… with a soft hand.

In Dana White’s defense, he is absolutely post-pubescent. As of now, Jenna’s rant has received 473 comments, including this recent $0.02 toss-in from “Eddy”:

I have no idea who dana white is but this person obiviously is so naive in judging other ppl and talkin shit about ppl they know nothing about..

Fuck the hater’s & happy easter Jenna!!much<333 to You & Tito<333

How true, Eddy.

It’s a nice little Saturday and you find yourself wondering what Tito is doing at that exact moment. Probably watching himself on YouTube, would be my guess. ‘Jennito’ was out and about again and it’s yet another example of Jenna Jameson restraining herself from jabbing a chopstick through the Huntington Beach Bad Boy’s circus-sized melon. In the video – on the red carpet of the Never Back Down premiere – the HBBB also talks about his upcoming projects, including “Any Town Throwdown” with G4. The pilot started shooting this week – not sure if it is taking the place of “Settle Your Grudge” with some of the Gracie clan or not. Tito also made sure to plug his upcoming book, This Is Gonna’ Hurt, where he says we’ll get “the real Tito Ortiz”. Yeah, I’ll rush out to buy that one. He also recently signed with powerhouse agency William-Morris and they’re grooming him to be the next action star. Oh and Jenna has “a lot” of projects coming up, but doesn’t seem to recall any of them at the moment. Guess she’s too embarrassed to mention Zombie Strippers.

‘Jennito’ makes their appearance at the :45 second mark.

And after getting his ogre cranium fired from The Celebrity Apprentice Tito seems a little more focused on MMA again. The fighter also recently did an interview with JarryPark.com where he discussed his UFC status and left just a slight glimmer of hope that the May 24th Machida fight will not be his last for the UFC – even though he seems pretty adamant about it being the last fight every time he speaks about it…like every time he’s on camera. He chatted briefly about some of the organizations he might want to fight for – EliteXC and HDNet Fights included among the ones he respects – and whichever one it is he insists they have to put him front and center and utilize his mike skills. Tito, those aren’t skills. It’s you liking the sound of your voice.

Other topics covered: “The Third Most Dangerous Shamrock” and his sad, sad performance against Robert “Buzz” Berry this past weekend, and why Tito won’t wrestle full time. Check out the full interview here.

If you haven’t noticed yet, Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson are pretty damn good at marketing themselves. Since the gossip magazines haven’t cared enough about them as a celebrity couple to invent a cutesy hybrid nickname (i.e., Brangelina, Tomkat, EllenPagepotato [yeah, we've been trying to keep that one on the D.L., but we're happy, and we ask that you respect our privacy]), they’ve taken it upon themselves to invent one. Will it catch on? Fingers crossed!

Of course, there’s more to this Hollyscoop.com video than ‘tarded nicknames. Ortiz strongly reiterates that he’s done with the UFC, and also reveals that he’s come around on his Kimbo Slice-hate. Jenna, as always, plays the supportive g.f., smiling and nodding and biting the inside of her cheeks while the little voice in her head screams “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO BORING ARE YOU STILL TALKING YOU OGRE-HEADED LOSER FOR FUCK’S SAKE WRAP IT UP!”

If you haven’t been watching The Celebrity Apprentice…well, you’re not missing much. But our boy Tito is still in the game, and on Thursday’s episode he was part of a challenge where he and three teammates had to run a successful carriage-ride operation in New York’s Central Park. Jenna Jameson shows up with a wad of hot money she just got from God-knows-where, and they ride off. And she calls him “pumpkin.” And it’s really gross.

(Props: MMAFever)