(Aoki vs. Boku, courtesy of Youtube user mike devro. Check it out before it gets taken down.)

______’s smothering grappling game was once again on display at OneFC 8, which transpired early this morning from the Singapore Indoor Stadium in Kallang, Singapore. Looking to exact some revenge for his fallen friend/training partner, ______, who was defeated by ______ back at OneFC 6, ______ utterly dominated the 20-8 _____ en route to a second round submission via _____-_____ choke. With the win, ______ secured the OneFC lightweight title, which will fit nicely on his mantle alongside his DREAM strap.

In the night’s co-main event, a UFC and WEC veteran whose name sounds a lot like Block Arsen survived some dicey moments to secure a decision victory over renowned kickboxer _____ ___hoef. Featuring some truly impressive, albeit sparse exchanges in the first two rounds, ______ was able to brave the storm and use his patented ground-n-pound game to work over the Dutchman, who was clearly gassed by the time things hit the third round.

Now, onto ______. In the past five years, we have seen the career of the former _FC lightweight champion go from the staggering lows of a five-fight losing streak in the WEC (with 4 of those coming by stoppage), to a 2-0 win streak over a couple of cans in smaller promotions, to the current 3-4 stretch that concluded with a second round loss via, you guessed it, submission, in the One FC Bantamweight Grand Prix ___finals this morning. We can’t really say anything about _____ that we haven’t already said; he’s a great guy and a once great fighter who shouldn’t still be fighting but is for the simplest of motivations: money. It could be a lot worse, but it still breaks our hearts to see him continue to drift in the bowels of mediocrity.

A video of the ______/______ fight and the full list of results are after the jump. 

(“Hey darlin’, wanna lie down underneath some palm trees?” / Photo via MMAFighting)

Remember that bizarre interview Cub Swanson did with Sherdog in which the UFC featherweight contender claimed that he’d beat Jose Aldo “10 out of 10 times” in a rematch? The same Jose Aldo who exposed Cub’s skull in just eight seconds the first time they fought? The same Jose Aldo who hasn’t lost a fight in seven years? At the time, it sounded like Swanson’s words had crossed the border from heat-seeking boast into “Are You Fucking Kidding Me?™” territory. Especially when Swanson added that he’d like his brother to fight Scarface instead, as that would be a more fair fight.

The good news is, he didn’t mean it. When he was giving that quote, he actually thought the interviewer was asking him about Jens Pulver, which makes sense since both “Jose” and “Jens” begin with a hard-J sound. If you’ll recall, Pulver submitted Swanson in 35 seconds during Lil’ Evil’s WEC debut back in December 2007, but is nowhere near the competitive threat he once was. As Cub said during a follow-up appearance on Sherdog’s “Beatdown” radio show:

“We were going back and forth about different past opponents, and that was a mental error on my side. I was talking about Jens Pulver, and I thought you guys had asked me about a rematch with him. That’s why I said that was a long time ago and that I had put it past me…No, [I don't want my brother to fight Aldo.] My brother is a [flyweight], and he fights at 135 [pounds] as well, but that’s the fight that I would love for my brother to have — with Jens. Jose Aldo is the fight that I want.”

Hmm…do we count Tim Sylvia’s weight as a high or a low?

If you didn’t get to catch One FC’s fifth event yesterday, you more than likely are under the impression that it was an event crushed by its completely preposterous stance on soccer kicks. While the soccer kick fiasco brought the sort-of anticipated fourth bout between Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arlovski to new heights of freak show ridiculousness, the show gave fans plenty of reasons to cheer and a few things to jeer as well. With videos beginning to surface from yesterday’s bouts, and no other televised MMA to look forward to tonight, let’s take some time to re-watch some of the better fights.

Unfortunately, the best fight from yesterday’s card – a lightweight slugfest between Eduard Folayang and Felipe Enomoto – isn’t available as of now. We’ll keep you posted if a video surfaces, but if one doesn’t, you’ll only have to wait until October 6 to see Folayang battle Zorobabel Moreira for the promotion’s lightweight title. Videos from the rest of the card available after the jump.

At least Tim Sylvia still has a remotely athletic physique from the chins up.

When I woke up this morning, Lafayette was beginning to take on water, a two hundred pound athlete was destroying fools in sumo wrestling, and Tim Sylvia vs. Andrei Arlovski was the most relevant fight taking place this weekend. Wait…this guy? And this guy? The most relevant fight of the weekend?! Naturally, the first thing I did was check my calendar to make sure I didn’t somehow travel back in time to 2005- as most of you did after reading that last sentence, I’m sure. Upon realizing that yes, it is in fact 2012, I said “Fuck it,” ate a gallon of ice cream for breakfast, and went back to sleep. If the rest of the universe just doesn’t care anymore, then neither do I.

Since it’s all we have to look forward to this weekend, we might as well at least try to get excited about the relatively meaningless nostalgia fight with this video of Andrei Arlovski’s open workout for the local Philippine press. Arlovski introduces himself with an enthusiastic “How’s taste my pee pee?” as he does some light drilling with Travis Browne (yes, that Travis Browne). After some basic drills, Andrei Arlovski answers some questions for the local media. The Pitbull, bless his heart, avoids an uncomfortable rape reference by saying he’s going to “play proctologist” and stick his hand up Tim Sylvia’s ass during the fight – not in a sexual way, but in an “I am beating the shit out of you and want to make this as humiliating as possible” way. He then tells the media that he plans on knocking out Tim Sylvia during the fight, a strategy we’ve seen backfire on him before. Before the clip ends, he brings things up to 2007 by shouting “THIS IS SPARTA!” while everyone laughs.
Video is after the jump.

(Thanks to tufentertainment.net for the fitting logo.)

By Nathan Smith

With the recent announcement that Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin have been named as the coaches for the next installment of The Ultimate Fighter series, the MMA universe immediately launched into a full-blow orgasmic ticker-tape parade complete with tons of flying confetti and a marching band belting out death metal tunes. Once I heard the news, it was as if my life instantaneously turned into a beer commercial and the entire Potato Nation was invited. There was a rad pool-party, barbeque, a plethora of hotties, endless alcohol, and an overall quest for fun.

Well . . . . . actually, none of that happened. In fact, when word spread that Nelson and Carwin would helm the next season of TUF, it was officially filed under “WTF?” Judging from the comment section, most of the CP brethren didn’t care for the choices either. TUF is coming off a season that saw the ratings dip lower than they ever had, which could partially be blamed on the move to FX and the dreaded Friday night time slot. Regardless of the variables for the ratings drop, something drastic needs to be done, but is anybody really convinced that Carwin and Nelson are the answer to TUF’s slow and painful demise? Let’s start from the beginning and take a look back to see if this runaway train can be coaxed back onto the main rail.

The Season That Started it All 

The inaugural season of TUF featured future Hall of Famers Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture as the competing coaches who would go mano y mano at the PPV after the season finale. For fans of the UFC, that was good enough for most to initially tune in for the Fertitta-funded experiment. It still remains the best crop of young talent and personalities to ever grace the show; future stars like Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Josh Koscheck, Chris Leben, Diego Sanchez, Mike Swick, Kenny Florian, and Nate Quarry were all complete unknowns vying for stardom in a fledgling sport. You mix in the whole “fatherless bastard” angle and the show was off and running even before the awe-inspiring climax between (pre TRT) FoGrif and The American Psycho. Even before that, we were treated to the greatest speech of all time that has since been condensed into a few words. “Do you wanna be a fighter?” Though there were other memorable moments from the seasons that followed, Zuffa should have quit while they were ahead because it would never be this good again. The unrefined personification of immature talent, undeniable aspirations and gonzo-sized balls oozed from the boob tube during every episode.

(All he needs are some tasty waves and a cool buzz, and he will kill anybody who tries to get in his way. / Photo via Sherdog)

In honor of Urijah Faber‘s interim bantamweight title bid at UFC 149, we thought it would be a good time to give the California Kid some love, through the magical medium of MMA GIFs. Check ‘em out some of our favorite Faber moments after the jump, and let us know if you think he’ll be picking up a new belt this weekend — or if he’ll go out in a blaze of glory.

(You mean to tell me that the guy lying face down in a pool of his own blood WAS ALIVE THE ENTIRE TIME?! No. F’ing. Way.) 

Not too long ago, it was announced that former UFC champions Andrei Arlovski and Jens Pulver had signed with Singapore-based upstart promotion OneFC, and were scheduled to compete on the August 31st scheduled ‘Pride of a Nation’ card against opponents that had yet to be named. Given the pair’s name power, not to mention their hard runs of luck as of late, it was assumed by most that they would likely be featured in a pair of squash matches to help build up their name (also, confidence) within the promotion. It now appears that we have severely underestimated the fellas at OneFC. Or overestimated, we’re not sure.

In either case, Arlovski has been booked to take on fellow UFC castaway and dangerous striker Soa Palelei, who is coming off a 12 second…we guess you’d call it beating, of Bob “Bitch Tits” Sapp at CFC 21 in May. And although just a few years ago, a guy like Palelei would never even be mentioned in the same breath as “The Pit Bull”, we may very likely see him listed as the favorite heading into this matchup as it stands today. Palelei packs a wallop of a punch and Arlvoski’s off switch is easier to find than a dwarf among midgets, so expect “The Hulk” to let his fists go early and often in this one and Arlovski to crumble violently to the mat shortly thereafter. Let’s just hope that Arlovski has finally undergone that Tango and Cash jaw replacement surgery he always wanted, or he is going to get royally FUBAR’d in this one.

(Matt Serra: MMA’s patron saint of lost causes.)

With tomorrow night’s UFC 145 main event slated as a 4-1 squash match, the CP gang is talking upsets for today’s installment of the CagePotato Roundtable. If you have a topic-suggestion for a future Roundtable column, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com, and share your own MMA-upset testimonials in the comments section…

Doug “ReX13″ Richardson

This wasn’t a hard decision for me: My personal “greatest upset” would have to be Fabricio Werdum vs. Fedor Emelianenko.

While I normally disagree with that crazy fanboy (hey Sodak) explaining to me how Fedor is an intelligent machine, sent back in time to destroy craniums and assassinate Andrei Arlovski, I completely wrote off Werdum here. Like, no way a guy who hung out in Minotauro Nogueira’s guard for six days is going to get tapped by a dude who calls himself “Go Horse” and smiles like this, right? So yeah, I gave him no chance of pulling out a victory. I could be on tape somewhere saying that he had no chance, in an obnoxiously opinionated manner. I may also be credited with one of the worst predictions in CP history.

So yeah, that one stung a little bit.

(Damn, graphic design has come a long way in 11 years.)

On this day in MMA history 11 years ago, Zuffa LLC, the Las Vegas-based owners of the UFC took its newly-purchased traveling spectacle on the road for the first time to Atlantic City for UFC 30: Battle on the Boardwalk. The card featured five of the promotion’s present and future titleholders and was one of the better events in recent UFC history (at the time).

The main event of the night featured a middleweight (which would be later named the light-heavyweight division) championship bout between then-champ Tito Ortiz and the late Evan Tanner. Unfortunately for fans who were expecting a drag-out war between the pair, the fighter formerly known as “The Huntington Beach Badboy” had other plans. After a brief feeling out process, Ortiz scooped Tanner up, slamming the Team Quest fighter on his back and knocking him unconscious, adding a couple of stiff punches on the ground for good measure. The knockout would stand as the only one of Ortiz’s career.

(Video props: YouTube/Vadge99. Catch Round 1 here)

We’re going to accept some of the blame for this one, fellas. After taking a clear stance on the former UFC champion hanging up his gloves, we celebrated a couple of relatively unimpressive victories and practically encouraged Jens along. Well, no more.

Last night Pulver looked to get back on the winning track at regional start-up Resurrection Fighting Alliance against the 6-2-1 Tim Elliott. “Little Eagle Evil” got dropped halfway through the first round, but survived the ensuing torrent of punches which left both men visibly tired. Neither fighter looked recovered from the break as they headed into round two. Elliott backed a weary Pulver against the cage with a combination before reaching for a thai clinch. As Jens shot in, a well-timed knee put him down and out.

Pulver is a grown man and the decision to call it quits belongs to him alone, certainly not to an MMA website, and certainly not to a moderately irresponsible one. That being said, when you see an aging fighter get laid out like that and then see him admit that he didn’t train seriously for the fight, you’ve got to question his decision making ability.

After the jump, a beautiful 26-second head kick KO from last night’s event.

(Pulver for UFC HOF 2011)

On this day 37 years ago, a boy named Jens Johnnie Pulver was born into a tumultuous household in Sunnyside, Washington.

Jens escaped from the violence and psychological abuse he, his sister, two brothers and mother endured daily from his namesake father who was a hard-drinking horse jockey, by dominating on the wrestling mats on weekends. It was there that his family would pretend they didn’t have a monster waiting for them back at their house and where they would escape from the sad reality that was their home life.

11 years ago this winter Pulver picked up and made the trek from California, where he had lived since moving out in his teens, to Davenport, Iowa with only a suitcase and a bag of change. He was put up by his soon-to-be manager Monte Cox when he showed up on his doorstep to ask the powerful agent to represent him. The Cox family took him in and treated him as one of their own children, while he set up shop training out of the fabled Miletich gym alongside some of Cox’s other marquee stable fighters like Matt Hughes, Tim Sylvia and the team’s leader, Pat Miletich.

(Don’t worry Bob, it can only get better from here. That has to be true at least once in a while.) 

Imagine this scenario; you’re an up and coming fighter in the cut-throat world of MMA who’s finally earned his shot at the big time. The packed stadium, the camera crews, the ring girls, they’re all there. And best of all, your fight is about to be broadcast for the world to see. “I’ve made it,” you think as you bathe in the bright lights shining down on you.

But then, before you know what hit you, you’re looking up at a large, possibly Rastafarian man, who’s asking if you know where you are. And for the rest of your life, you are dubbed “that guy who got destroyed by ______ .” No matter what you accomplish, you will always be known for one bump in the road that just about everyone happened to witness. Well, here at CP, we know this story all too well, so we decided to check up on a few of these poor suckers, VH1 style, and find out what they were up to. Because knowing is half the battle. Enjoy.

Dos Caras Jr.

What (most of us) know him for: As one of the victims of the greatest MMA technique of 2003.

What he’s been up to: As it turns out, Dos Caras Jr. has actually had a rather successful career since nearly being decapitated by Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic back at PRIDE – Bushido 1. His real name is Alberto Rodriguez, and he actually wasn’t that bad of a fighter. Honestly, considering he both wore a mask and went by a fake name, he was a pretty damn awesome fighter, and easily the most successful. After dropping a unanimous decision to Kazuhiro Nakamura at Pride 27, “Two Faces” went 6-1, with all wins coming by way of stoppage. He even managed to pull out a head kick KO of his own back in 2010 against 3-8 fighter Arthur Bart.

Where he is now:

Pulver vs. Wheeler, from last night’s Co-Main Event

Yesterday, you may have looked at the name of Houston Alexander’s opponent, Razak Al-Hassan, and thought “Where have I heard of him before?”. Spoiler alert: He’s the guy who got his arm snapped by Steve Cantwell at Fight for the Troops because tapping is for bitches. It probably won’t come as too much of a surprise to you to find out that he had another fight stopped by injury. It may surprise you to find out that this time, the injury that prevented him from continuing was a dislocated finger. You read that correctly, Urijah. Not to make any accusations of bitchassness, but how did the doctor even realize that Al-Hassan had dislocated his finger without someone telling him?

The stoppage to this fight was almost as odd as watching Junie Browning give up during the first round of his fight with Jacob Clark. Granted, you could argue that Junie Browning gave up on this fight well before yesterday’s weigh-ins. Junie Browning came out quickly, earning an early takedown and nearly submitting Jacob Clark with a twister. However, once the ref stood the fighters back up and Clark stuffed an attempted takedown, Junie Browning gave up. Browning allowed Clark to gain side control, and immediately tapped once Clark started throwing elbows. Given Browning’s loss coupled with the fact that he has to forfeit an undisclosed sum of money per pound over 155, there is a possibility that Browning essentially fought for free (or rather, whatever his sponsors paid him) last night.

(Props: king981)

Since Sunday night’s UFC on Versus 5 broadcast will be led off by Duane Ludwig‘s welterweight battle with Amir Sadollah — we’ll be liveblogging the action starting at 9 p.m. ET, by the way — we figured we’d look back at one of Bang’s classic knockouts that you might not have seen before. On January 25th, 2003, Ludwig (8-2) faced off with former UFC lightweight champion Jens Pulver (14-2-1) in Montreal for UCC’s vacant lightweight title. After vacating his UFC title the previous year, Pulver had won his first two fights outside of the organization and was looking to pick up another scalp and another belt. It didn’t quite work out like that.

About 12 seconds into the fight, Ludwig leveled Pulver with a massive right hand. Pulver managed to struggle to his feet, and Yves Lavigne broke the fighters after a brief clinch. From there it’s all Duane — a body shot, head kick, and a right-straight finisher that dropped Pulver and actually had him rolling out of the ring to avoid more damage. As the commentator puts it, ”Jens Pulver might be ‘Little Evil’, but Duane Ludwig is a shepherd for the devil.” The dramatic victory earned Ludwig a shot in the UFC, where he out-pointed Genki Sudo in his debut at UFC 42.

(Video courtesy of G4)

In case you forgot, Jens Pulver is fighting this weekend at MMA Fight Pit: Genesis in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He’s taking on tough 14-3 WEC veteran Coty “Ox” Wheeler, whose only losses came against Ian McCall, Charlie Valencia and Will Campuzano.

Jens has literally been living in Jeff Curran’s gym in Chicago for the past 10 weeks to prepare for the bout and G4′s Attack of the Show host Blair Herter recently paid him a visit at the facility to get some tips on how to fight.

(Pat Promrangka savagely knocks out Mitch Heron at FightWorld Cup 9, Saturday night in Queensland, Australia. Props: Doombringer002)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- What’s Next for UFC 133 Winners and Losers? (NBC Sports MMA)

- Chael Sonnen Takes Unique Approach to Selling Brian Stann Fight (5thRound)

- Dana White Talks Shaquille O’Neal, GSP vs. Nick Diaz and ‘TUF 14′ (MMA Fighting)

- ‘The Ultimate Show’ Episode 3, Hosted by Kenda Perez (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- ONE FC: Phil Baroni Has Been Put on This Earth to Do Two Things…Chew Bubble Gum and Kick Ass (MMA Mania)

- Jon Jones Insists the “Jealous Snake” Rashad Evans Never Was His Friend (LowKick)

- Jens Pulver Returns to Action Against Ox Wheeler at “MMA Fight Pit: Genesis” (TheFightNerd)

- Check Out This Hi-Res Panel From the First Full-Length MMA Comic Book, ‘Joe Palooka’ (MiddleEasy)

- Randy Couture’s Next Movie: ‘Setup’ Trailer (MMA Convert)

- Thiago Alves: “I’ll Try to Knock Him Out or Submit All Opponents From Now On.” (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Dana White: “I Really Love to Stick It to the Fedor Fans Because They’re Such Lunatics” (FightOpinion)

- ESPN Reports Fox As New Front-Runner For UFC TV Deal (MMAPayout)

Pulver vs. Davidson (video by Zuffaforce)

It doesn’t seem like all that long ago that we’d shell out $50 to watch Jens Pulver knuckle up with the top fighters in the world on the sport’s biggest stage. Those days are long gone, brother. Jens’ losing skid on the regional circuit was recently broken by a two-fight win streak, but last night we were reminded once again how far he’s fallen. Pulver took on Brian Davidson and it wasn’t pretty. Unable to match Davidson’s speed in the standup, Pulver looked to take this fight to the ground often, but he found little comfort on the mat. Following his first takedown Lil’ Evil ate an illegal up-kick that had him staggered; his second takedown yielded little action on the ground, and his third attempt ended with Davidson taking his back and securing the rear naked choke. After the fight, Pulver—who has lost seven of his last nine bouts–declared that he had no intentions of retiring and that he wanted to go out on his own terms. He’s a grown man and can do as he pleases, but let’s hope those terms don’t include a long string of KO losses.

In other action, UFC vet Jake Rosholt put a beating on John Ott until landing an illegal knee at 4:23 into the third round. Rosholt used his decorated wrestling background to put Ott on his back and work him over throughout the fight. The bout could easily have been stopped in Rosholt’s favor prior to the knee, as he opened numerous deep cuts across Ott’s face with elbows and punches from full mount and side mount on several occassions. While Ott attempted to stand in the last minute of the fight, Rosholt landed a solid knee to his face, dropping him to the canvas before doctors declared him unable to continue.

Full results after the jump.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/00Alistair00)

If you haven’t heard the news, Anderson Silva has a new documentary called, “Like Water,” which set for release later this month at the Tribeca Film Festival in Manhattan. The name of the film is taken from a famous Bruce Lee quote as an homage to the world’s most famous martial artist who was a huge influence to The Spider’s MMA career.

The synopsis of the movie is after the jump.

(Does this look like the face of a retiree?)

Former UFC lightweight champ Jens Pulver squeaked out his second win in the past three years over the weekend, beating 13-13 Central Illinois Combat Club fighter Wade Choate by split decision at Chicago Cagefighting Championship III Saturday night. Before the comments start pouring in about how, “Lil’ Evil should retire after narrowly beating a Choate with a record like that,” FYI, Pulver fought the majority of the bout on a broken foot he sustained in the opening frame of the fight, and according to several sources the one judge who gave the nod to his opponent defied the popular opinion of the majority in attendance that Jens clearly won the bout.

Pulver, who is 2-0 since he began training at Curran Martial Arts in Chicago, tweeted the pics after the jump of his foot during, immediately following and one day after the bout, explaining that the injury occurred when he connected with Choate’s elbow.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/gregorybayne)

If you haven’t seen Gregory Bayne’s masterful documentary about former UFC lightweight champion Jens Pulver’s personal and professional triumphs, trials and tribulations, you really should be ashamed of yourself.

We get it; money’s tight and the economy isn’t great, so we’ll let it slide this time, but when we ask tomorrow, no one in the Potato Nation will have an excuse why they haven’t watched this movie.

Despite all the talk of Jens Pulver hanging up his four ounce gloves for good after failing to put up a win in his past six fights, it looks like Lil’ Evil ain’t goin’ out like that.

The former UFC lightweight champ was back in action this weekend, picking up his first win in over three years and improving his record to 23-14-1. Although his opponent, Mike "The Assassin" Lindquist at 6-19 was a far cry from the killers he used to face in the UFC and WEC, it’s good to see Jens get a win under his belt to boost his confidence. In Pulver’s defense, he was originally slated to take on 12-10 fighter Tom Ahrens, but his opponent bowed out of the bout in the weeks leading up to the event. For his part, Lindquist didn’t look too bad in the video above. Let’s just hope that training with Jeff Curran in Chicago has helped Pulver get his groove back and he doesn’t just become a regional can crusher.

(PicProps: MMAConvert)

On a personal note, we’d like nothing more than to see Jens Pulver at the top of the heap when it’s all said and done. Though we admit we’ve never met him, Pulver has always seemed like one of MMA’s truly stand-up guys. Exciting in the cage, straightforward and honest (maybe to a fault) outside of it, it’s hard not to root for him. It’s also been difficult to watch him slump through the last few years of his rapidly fading MMA career, including establishing his current six-fight losing streak and dropping eight of his last nine bouts overall. It’s that innate likability that additionally makes it downright heartbreaking to read Pulver’s latest interview with MMA Fighting.com on Saturday, where the aging former UFC champion indicates he’s just going to press on with his career until he “gets it right.”

"I’m trying to put ‘Lil’ Evil’ to bed, if that makes sense, so I can retire the right way, and so I can be done the right way,” Pulver says. “I can’t go out the way I’ve gone. Not from being a world champion to losing six fights in a row. I want to give it one more shot."

(After Nate Diaz has sex with a guy, he will rip their heads off. Props: YouTube.com/FreeFights4You)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Ailing Cruz, Upstart Jorgensen Aim for History Books at WEC 53 (Versus MMA Beat)

– ‘Strength and Honor’: Ben Henderson vs. Anthony Pettis Hype Video (MMA Scraps)

– Stefan Struve Wants to Get to 280 Pounds for Lesnar, Carwin, Etc. (MMA Fighting)

– The 10 Best Fights in WEC History (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Watch This Preview of ‘The Saint of Stevia: The Legend of Dan Quinn’ (MiddleEasy)

– Kimo-Therapy: UFC Veteran To Assist the Needy This Christmas (FightMagazine)

- Frank Mir vs. Brendan Schaub Expected for March 2011 (LowKick)

– Jens Pulver Not Done Yet, Plans to Fight in January (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Roger Huerta Saves Little Girl’s Life, Proves Status As Superhero (SBNation.com/MMA)

– Fedor Emelianenko: If I Never Fight In The UFC, They Will Be Sorry, Not Me (MMA Convert)

("Do not want.")

According to a chapter in the recently translated PRIDE: Secret Files tome, PRIDE came very close to making former WBA and current WBF boxing champion Evander Holyfield into an MMA freakshow.

Fortunately for MMA fans, and for Holyfield who was able to turn his lagging career around the next year, the bout didn’t happen.

The card, which saw Jens Pulver’s chin exposed by Takanori Gomi and Anderson Silva caught by a textbook heelhook by Ryo Chonan turned out to be a pretty entertaining one even without the spectacle of a pro boxer versus a sumo wrestler.

The full story, via MMA-Japan is after the jump:

(Video courtesy YouTube/gregorybayne)

It looks like Jens Pulver has effectively answered the collective throng of reporters and fans who have been incessantly asking the former UFC lightweight champion if he will fight again by signing with the upstart CFX/Extreme Challenge promotion in Minnesota for one fight.

Pulver (22-14-1), who hasn’t won since 2007 when he defeated Cub Swanson at WEC 31, will take on Frank Johnson (8-4) December 11 at Target Center in Minneapolis.

According to promoter Gavin Rydell, Pulver is looking to rejuvenate his career by picking up his first win in more than six fights by beating the West St. Paul, Mn. native, Johnson.

"We’re really excited to have him up here fighting in Minneapolis," Rydell said. "He’s obviously a legend, one of the best ever. We’re honored to be able to see him fight here in Minnesota. It’s not every day that a UFC champion fights here. Jens wants to keep fighting, but he knows he needs a couple of wins to keep doing that. He hopes to start that here in Minnesota."

(Video courtesy YouTube/GregoryBayne)

If you’re like me, seeing Jens Pulver go from being a Tasmanian Devil-like dominant fighter, tearing through guys like John Lewis, Caol Uno, Dennis Hallman and BJ Penn, to being on the brink of retirement after losing eight of his last nine fights gives you a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach.

For those of you who don’t recognize the feeling, it’s called empathy.

Imagine being raised by an abusive father who other abusive fathers would hear stories of and say "Holy shit. That guy was an asshole," and rising above the problems in your life,  escaping by wrestling, then fighting in mixed martial arts, only to have your career go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows.

THAT’S what Jens has gone and is going through in his life.

(Video courtesy YouTube/MMA DieHards)

- Roger Clemens Once Again Denies Using Steroids and HGH (ScoresReport)

- The coolest car you’ll never own (MadeMan)

- The 6 most insane Barack Obama rumors (HolyTaco)

- Adam Scott’s Pirhana 3D guarantee (ScreenJunkies)

(The first round of the fight, and nearly the last chapter in these two guys’ character arcs. All vids from: YouTube/ZombieProphetMMA)

For the first minute, 10 seconds or so Tim Sylvia and Paul Buentello actually have a decent little fight going at Powerhouse World Promotions’ War on the Mainland show from Saturday night. After that it’s pretty much a clinch-fest, with Sylvia leaning his 274-pounds on Buentello in the corner so relentlessly he’s able to draw five separate restarts from referee Big John McCarthy in just under two full rounds. While still looking as awkward as ever on the feet, Sylvia at least mixes some good punching combination with a few kicks and knees when the two fighters exchange at range. Buentello lands a couple of shots too, but for the most part appears overwhelmed by Sylvia’s size.

Round two is after the jump. Also, just in case you weren’t feeling melancholy enough on this Sunday morning, Jens Pulver’s sad, sad loss to Diego Garijo from the same event is there as well …

(Video courtesy bjpenn.com)

– Somebody stole Semmy Schilt’s 2009 K-1 GP belt (headkicklegend)

– Today’s friday the 13th so here’s Jason Voorhees on Arsenio (break)

– Frankie Edgar talks BJ Penn rematch (mmadiehards)

– The Expendables Terry Crews offers manvice (mademan)

– 25 hot photos of Amanda Righetti (holytaco)

– Eddie Alvarez vs. Roger Huerta set for Bellator 33 (heavy)

– Top ten signs she’s faking it starring white board girl (askmen)

– 10 unforgettable MMA gifs (mmascraps)

–  Interview with Bellator FC season II welterweight winner Ben Askren (bleacherreport)

– Randy Couture wants to fight Anderson Silva (mmafighting)

– Strikeforce Challengers 10: There’s something about Miesha (watchkalib run)

– Dave Batista talks MMA career he’s been plotting for a while (fight!)

 - Reed Harris and Ariel Helwani break down WEC 50 (versus)

– Bisping expects to face Sonnen if he beats Akiyama and Cote if he loses (fightersonly)

– Nerds rejoice: James Cameron talks Avatar II (screenjunkies)

(Retirement is for quitters.)

A new report on Sherdog passes along more details on that "War on the Mainland" MMA/boxing hybrid event (August 14th; Irvine, Ca.) that will host Jens Pulver‘s first post-WEC appearance. Following five straight losses in the WEC, Lil’ Evil will try to re-build against Diego Garijo, a 4-1 prospect from The Arena, who hasn’t competed since his insane brawl against Saad Awad at Bellator X last year. So good luck Jens, because this kid can really take a beating. 

Though it originally appeared that Tim Sylvia would miss this event due to a foot injury suffered in the Maruisz Pudzianowski fight, Sherdog reports that Timmy will actually be headlining the card against recent UFC castoff Paul Buentello. Speaking of UFC castoffs, former UFC #1 middleweight contender Thales Leites will do battle with Hawaiian vet Falaniko Vitale at "War on the Mainland," Jason Lambert locks horns with old-schooler Allan Goes, and Terry Martin meets Jorge "The Naked Man" Ortiz.

If you’d like to check out the terrible-looking website for the event, go to www.waronthemainland.com. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.