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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: Jesus

CagePotato Roundtable #12: Who’s the Baddest Motherf*cker of All Time?


(Too obvious?)

Friends, Romans, countrymen, welcome to the most star-studded — and foolishly ambitiousCagePotato Roundtable in history. This week’s topic is “Who’s the Baddest Motherfucker of All Time?” and we have two very, very special guests to help us out. They are…

- Ben Fowlkes, the former CagePotato senior editor who abandoned us in April 2010 and has been writing incredible features for MMAFighting.com ever since. Last month, he and fellow CP veteran Chad Dundas launched a hilarious and thought-provoking weekly MMA podcast called The Co-Main Event. Do yourself a favor and subscribe to the show on iTunes right here, right now.

- Jason Ellis, the professional skateboarder, author, MMA fighter, truck racer, boxer, singer, and actor who hosts The Jason Ellis Show on weekday afternoons on Sirius XM Radio’s Faction channel. Jason’s best-selling autobiography — the appropriately titled I’m Awesome — details his triumph over drugs, personal tragedy, and being Australian, en route to becoming “the new voice of action sports in America”? Go buy it.

I’m sure some of you have already passed out from shock and excitement. As for the rest of you, pack a canteen and follow us into the abyss. Warning: It’s gonna get weird…

Ben Fowlkes

You want to talk old school badasses? I mean really, really old school? Like pre-Rickson Gracie old school? Look no further than Julius Caesar, son. Right about now you’re all like, ‘Who, dude with the cheap pizzas?’ First of all, that’s Little Caesar’s, which sucks. Second of all, shut up. I’m trying to teach you something here.

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Vitor Belfort is Coming to UFC 126 and He’s Bringing Jesus With Him


(Holiness is next to craziness. PicProps: Bonyacaiusa.com)

Gotta admit, those “I’m Expect Jesus, Bro, Every Day” bumper stickers we had printed up a few months ago aren’t exactly flying off the shelves like we hoped they might. Nonetheless, UFC middleweight contender Vitor Belfort isn’t letting that rattle his unwavering faith that a higher power will lead him to the gold at UFC 126. Belfort may be in direct violation of a CagePotato ban on invoking the help of the savior in MMA competition, but it’s hard not to like his enthusiasm in this prefight hype video from UFC.com, when he discusses his strategy against Anderson Silva.

“I think every day that I’m gonna win the fight, that I’m gonna push the pace,” Belfort says. “I have to look for the opening, look for the gap and if it goes to the ground I have to look for the submission. If we’re (standing) I have to look in his eyes and know I’m gonna beat him. He’s the champion and I’m the challenger, it’s gonna be a lion facing a lion. It’s gonna be a great, great fight. I’m on a journey right now, I’m about to accomplish my journey. In the name of Jesus, I’m gonna leave there with a victory, for sure."

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Video: Cagefighting for Jesus

(Video courtesy YouTube/Fox News)

It seems like everyone is jumping on the mixed martial arts bandwagon these days, so it should come as no surprise that religious groups would eventually hitch a ride on the locomotive that was set in motion by the shot in the arm of popularity that The Ultimate Fighter show injected into the sport.

Based in Clarksville, TN, Xtreme Ministries was founded by John Renken, an evangelical pastor who is also the gym’s head trainer.  The “church” and its leaders who preach and corner its fighters under the motto, "Where Feet, Fists and Faith Collide," attempt to tie together MMA and how Christ fought for what he believed in.

Seems logical, since Jesus was known for knocking and choking out anyone who tried to smite him.

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St. Louis Pastor Takes The ‘Jesus Didn’t Tap’ Mantra A Little Too Literally


(Why didn’t someone tell me about this shirt before now? I take back every negative thing I’ve said about Jesus Didn’t Tap. Clearly, they have a sense of humor.)

You know something is big when churches begin using it as a gimmick to get people in the pews on Sunday.  Pastor Tom Skiles from the Spirit of St. Louis church in Arnold, Missouri is hoping to capitalize on the popularity of MMA and the UFC on Easter Sunday with a service that’s chock full of copyright infringement.  He calls it “Easter in the Octagon: The Ultimate Fighter,” and describes it thusly:

“The Ultimate Fighting is something we’re doing to promote to the guys. We want to make Easter relevant again. We don’t want to make it about lilies and nice dresses. When they walk in we’ll have a chain link fence set up, it’ll be set up like an octagon. We’ll talk about fact that Jesus didn’t tap out, he was an ultimate fighter.”

Pastor Tom is apparently fed up with the notion that Christians should be “nice guys.”  He rejects the idea that Jesus was some philosophical, other cheek-turning “hippie,” and instead would like to remind you that the answer the question, ‘What would Jesus do?’ is inevitably, ‘Choke ‘em out.’  

He also seems to be hoping that even notoriously litigious organizations won’t sue a church for using copyrighted phrases and images.  In addition to all the Octagon and Ultimate Fighter stuff, the children’s service is called “Easter Smackdown” and it involves kids fighting in an inflatable boxing ring.  Because Easter Egg hunts are for pussies, and Jesus didn’t cotton to no pussies.

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Videos: Maia’s “Science of Jiu-Jitsu,” Ken Shamrock’s Life Story + More


(Props: KahL)

Inspired by such HL-vid masters as Genghis Con, RVR, and Robert Park, a shadowy figure known as KahL-One has gotten into the MMA-film game with this tribute to Demian Maia, spanning Maia’s early fights to his current training with Wanderlei Silva. As you can tell from the intro, KahL seems to think that Demian is the second coming of Rickson — and maybe he’s right.

Below: Ken Shamrock shared his tale of personal redemption at the Fighting With God conference in January, and revealed the source of his early struggles — he wasn’t hugged enough as a child. No, seriously. This video cobbles together the highlights of his speaking appearance, where he gave the lowdown of life with his adoptive father Bob, losing to "a guy in pajamas" at UFC 1, cheating on his wife and the sport (‘roids?), and loving Jesus. A rare insight into the psyche of the World’s Most Dangerous Man. 

After the jump: A weak old man gets beat up by an MMA fighter. And believe it or not, you will be rooting for the MMA fighter.

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Juanito Ibarra Cast Out of Rampage Jackson’s Garden of Crazy

Quinton Rampage Jackson Juanito Ibarra UFC
(Photo courtesy of CageToday.)

Josh Gross has a lengthy update on Quinton “Rampage” Jackson in his SI column, and while it’s good to hear any news on the troubled former UFC champ, nothing that Gross passes along could be classified as “reassuring.” First and foremost, Rampage and his trainer/manager Juanito Ibarra have indeed parted ways:

With defeat as the impetus, Jackson responded to rough terrain by relieving the trainer of his duties, though “bottom line, somehow, someway it all involves money,” said the fighter’s friend.

Jackson is now out of psychiatric observation and is attending outpatient treatment on a daily basis, but he didn’t seem completely cured after his initial release.

“He would still make comments that were slightly weird,” said Jackson’s longtime associate. “You could tell that he wasn’t all the way there, but each day you could tell he was better…He knows what he went through,” said the source. “He knew he had an emotional breakdown that led to a mental breakdown.”

There’s a few other things worth pulling from the article. First off, Jackson came to the Lord under duress. (“In 2004, Jackson…claimed he was touched by Jesus in a dream, scaring him enough to bolt from his apartment with his son D’Angelo in tow. That night he was born again.”) Second, at the time of his PRIDE 28 rematch with Wanderlei Silva, he hadn’t eaten for three days, because he had read on the Internet that fasting would keep the devil away.

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Quick Toughness Test…

JDT

Click this link and listen to the song. If you can make it through the whole thing, you have ice-water in your balls.

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Fight Night: CLASH AT CHUMASH!

indian casino

Tonight, the ShoXC Elite Challenger Series goes down at Santa Inez, California’s Chumash Casino Resort. The first three fights will be streamed live on the Internet starting at 9:30 p.m. ET/6:30 p.m. PT on ProElite.com. The five-bout main card will be broadcast on Showtime starting at 11 p.m. ET/PT (delayed on the west coast). If you happen to find yourself without plans this evening, tune in and pay attention to the following:

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