(The original image, via Deadspin.)

Meet Clark Gracie. The decorated BJJ blackbelt is the son of Carley Gracie, the master of the Clarkoplata (Crucifix Omoplata hybrid), and the owner of The Clark Gracie Jiu Jitsu Academy in La Jolla, CA. He also happens to be a ridiculously photogenic guy, capable of making a blackbelt grappling match look like an Esquire Magazine photo-shoot. Even though this image has been around for a while now, the jokesters over at quickmeme have finally taken notice and created “Ridiculously Photogenic Jiu-Jitsu Guy” in his honor. We’ve compiled some of the best ones after the jump.

Damn it, Jon. Thumb UP! Props: The Phantom Knee

We’re not even one week into 2013, yet we already have a strong candidate for CagePotato.com’s coveted MMA Fail of the Year at the year-ending Potato Awards. And yes, “coveted” is the right word here – with all of the ugly tattoos, terrible t-shirts, goofy haircuts and general jackassery in this great sport, it’s a legitimate honor to be recognized for failing harder than everyone else around you. Last year, the award went to a guy who dared his opponent to knock him out seconds before getting knocked out. Following in his footsteps, this instructor is so confident that he has discovered the “ultimate” way to defend against an armbar that you should really be expecting his demise well before it plays out.

This guy’s “Ultimate Armbar Defense” isn’t exactly scientific; it involves grabbing your own gi collar and holding on for dear life. Don’t ask me how a jiu-jitsu purple belt didn’t realize that he was setting himself up for a textbook gi choke, but he didn’t, and the inevitable happens by the end of the video. My favorite part of the video is the very end, when he wakes up, remembers where he is, puffs his chest out and looks into the camera with manly, Ronda Rousey-esque confidence.

(Renzo Gracie’s knuckles after beating up muggers. Out of the frame, Renzo Gracie absolutely beaming with a huge smile on his face)

The other day we told you about how Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and MMA legend Renzo Gracie managed to tweet about how he *ahem* defended himself from two muggers in Manhattan this week, at the same time as he was beating the snot out of defending himself from them. Well, The MMA After Hour got Renzo on the line for a short interview where Gracie goes in to detail of how, exactly, he came to beat up two thugs and why he was insulted that they even tried.

We’re not going to waste too much of your time with our copy here because Renzo has plenty to say himself (and we really can’t re-create the effect of his Brazilian accent in writing, and you know it adds a lot to the story, my friend). After the break you’ll find the full interview.

(OK Nate, once the ballad starts, you’re gonna grab her hips and just kinda sway like this…)

Perhaps you recall that Jiu-Jitsu superfight Nick Diaz was scheduled to participate in while stepping out for a smoke break from his UFC career. It was to be held at the first annual World Jiu-Jitsu Expo in Long Beach, California on May 12th, against an opponent TBD. Though we had no clue as to who this “TBD” fellow would turn out to be, we already assumed that the match would be rife with Stockton Heybuddies, relentless taunting, and at least one insistence by Diaz that they both “stand up and settle this like men.”

How wrong we were, because it turns out that Diaz will be too busy trying not to get submitted to do much trash talking, as his opponent was announced earlier this morning, and it’s Braulio f*cking Estima. That’s 2009 ADCC double gold medalist, three time European champion, three time CBJJ champion, and five time Pan American champion Braulio Estima. If you consider yourself a fan of the ground game and live withing driving distance of Long Beach, you best be in attendance for this one.

Though Diaz earned his black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu under Cesar Gracie back in 2007, you gotta imagine he’ll be the underdog heading into this one, as Estima’s list of BJJ credentials ranks him among the legends of the sport. The fact that Estima also took home a Superfight Championship at last year’s ADCC trials by defeating former Strikeforce middleweight champion Ronaldo Souza only furthers this theory.

Familiarize yourself with Estima’s skills after the jump. 

(Hey Donald, you let me know when you’re gonna stop armbarring me like my little sister. Sound good?) 

I did something terrible this morning, Potato Nation. After waking up with blood on my hands and a splitting hangover beneath an underpass I did not recognize, I was forced to stumble across five miles of snow covered wasteland, wearing only one shoe mind you, to make it home. I fired up my computer to find a video of newly crowned UFC lightweight champion Ben Henderson competing in the 7th Arizona Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu International Open awaiting my viewership. In need of a pick me up, I watched it, figuring that there was no way in hell my boy “Smooth” would be submitted by this Daniel Grippaudo sumbitch, because, let’s be honest, Henderson CANNOT be submitted. We all know the first round anaconda loss to Rocky Johnson that soils his record was made up to prevent 155-pound grapplers from committing mass suicide. There is no “Rocky Johnson.” There never was.

Anyway, after watching the video that awaits you all after the jump, I proceeded to run to the nearest elementary school, steal the microphone from the principal, and inform those listening to the morning announcements that Santa was in fact a lie. Do I feel bad about it? Surely, but the point I was trying to make is simple: give up hope. The boundaries of life are disintegrating before our very eyes. Nothing is real anymore; Santa, your parents, Jesus, none of it. If it turns out that the following video is not, as I suspect, a complete fabrication, then I hold these truths to be self-evident.

Watch at your own risk.

(Josh Barnett’s most recent pro wrestling outing, courtesy of his MySpace page. If you’re dying to see how the match ends, go here.)

He may still be a black sheep in the MMA family, but that doesn’t mean Josh Barnett is going to hop a Greyhound for parts unknown and never call you again, even if you might want it that way.  The  "Baby-Faced Assassin" surfaced at the World Jiu-Jitsu No-Gi Championships in southern California this week long enough to win the "Ultra Heavyweight" (over 215 pounds) division with a judges’ decision over Bruno Paulista on Sunday.  Barnett crowed about the victory on his Twitter account, proclaiming "Catch Wrestling lives!", much to the chagrin of BJJ competitors like Pablo Popovitch, who told Graciemag.com before this event, "[W]e can’t let a guy who does catch wrestling win the Jiu-Jitsu World Championship."

Sorry, Pablo.  Guess Barnett never got that memo.  If you’re wondering what Barnett’s MMA future holds, apart from being the sport’s unsung savior, you should check out this video interview with Scott Coker where he says that Strikeforce has been in "loose contact" with Barnett, and once he works out his issues with the California State Athletic Commission, "maybe then we’ll be a little bit more interested."  You know.  If he works out those "issues."

Man, all this talk about boxers doing MMA is almost enough to make a fella forget about the ground game.  We’ve got the cure for that problem: a bunch of goddamn grappling videos.  Up first, Fedor Emelianenko flings Gegard Mousasi around just for fun.  After the jump, Demian Maia‘s jiu-jitsu highlights are an indispensable part of any grappling examination, Shinya Aoki has a quick one against Marcelo Garcia, plus more.

(Worst Affliction t-shirt ever?  Or best Slash t-shirt ever?)

Following his dismal performance at UFC 92 and subsequent release from the UFC (at his request, which is like telling your boss you quit immediately after he’s discovered that you’ve been stealing), Dean Lister is headed back where he belongs: grappling tournaments.  Lister will be back at the Abu Dhabi’s and word has it that he’s angling for a move up in weight to take on Fedor Emelianenko, who’s expected to enter this year.

On one hand, it’s good to see Lister back in his element.  As great a submissions fighter as he is, he’s not much of an MMA fighter at this point.  He tried to pull guard on Yushin Okami for three rounds and got a chorus of boos for his trouble.  He then apologized to his fans while reminding us that he could kick all of our asses, just in case you were in any danger of feeling sympathy for him.

But Lister is a middleweight.  Fedor is a heavyweight.  Even if he weren’t also one of the best fighters on the planet, the weight difference is already a huge advantage.  But would it be pretty awesome to see Fedor in a pure grappling match against one of America’s best pure grapplers?  It would.  He tapped out his brother with no problem, but "The Boogeyman" has a significantly better grappling resume.  He is also free of blood-borne diseases (sorry, had to do it).

Regardless, a Fedor/Lister grappling match has the potential to get even the more casual MMA viewers slightly interested in the Abu Dhabi’s.  And that’s without the brutal violence of MMA, Bob Reilly.  What now?

Above: MMA/video-game mashup artist lookoutawhale created this Dana White/Super Mario Bros tribute for a UG contest to win tickets to DW’s St. Patrick’s Day party in Boston, and it’s pretty Fuk’n amazing. If only dealing with your rivals was as simple as jumping on their heads.

Below: The more I watch Dan Quinn‘s videos, the more I’m convinced that he’s not a real person, but a highly trained actor playing a character named "Dan Quinn," and the whole YouTube video thing is just a brilliant guerilla marketing campaign for Starwest Botanicals. Because honestly, how can this person not be in on the joke? Yes, that’s his mom who comes by to bust Dan’s weed party at the 4:44 mark, and remind him that "that thing is still simmering." So yes, he lives with his mother. He also alludes to a knowledge about methamphetamine that rivals his knowledge about marijuana and stevia. Why are we not surprised?

After the jump: Some lucky dickhead teaches you how to reverse guard, with the help of two very sexy girls. The last shot = possibly NSFW, totally OMFG.

(Props: KahL)

Inspired by such HL-vid masters as Genghis Con, RVR, and Robert Park, a shadowy figure known as KahL-One has gotten into the MMA-film game with this tribute to Demian Maia, spanning Maia’s early fights to his current training with Wanderlei Silva. As you can tell from the intro, KahL seems to think that Demian is the second coming of Rickson — and maybe he’s right.

Below: Ken Shamrock shared his tale of personal redemption at the Fighting With God conference in January, and revealed the source of his early struggles — he wasn’t hugged enough as a child. No, seriously. This video cobbles together the highlights of his speaking appearance, where he gave the lowdown of life with his adoptive father Bob, losing to "a guy in pajamas" at UFC 1, cheating on his wife and the sport (‘roids?), and loving Jesus. A rare insight into the psyche of the World’s Most Dangerous Man. 

After the jump: A weak old man gets beat up by an MMA fighter. And believe it or not, you will be rooting for the MMA fighter.

(‘Crank my neck all you want…I still say…a strategy that involves nationalizing banks…is untenable…over a long period of time.’)

Now here’s a rare positive story coming out of the strange place where economic disaster and martial arts training meet.  The Gracie Barra gym in Clearwater, Florida is offering free classes to people who have recently lost their jobs.  As a way to ease the stress of the unemployed and keep them from killing themselves and their families, owner Eduardo de Lima will let you train for free for six months or until you get a job, whichever comes first:

"I always said to my students, ‘If you lose your job, just come in anyway.’ It’s more important for them to work out, because it releases the stress of life," said De Lima, 40, who’s been teaching jiu-jitsu for 16 years. "When (people) get stressed from money problems, they do dumb things," he said, citing the Los Angeles man who recently shot his family and then himself after losing his job.

Stress relief, huh?  I guess that’s one explanation behind this free jiu-jitsu offer.  Another explanation might be that de Lima is training an army of the economically disenfranchised.  Think about it: they’re desperate, angry, and have nothing to lose.  They also don’t have to go to work, so they can train pretty much all day.

Sure, it sounds crazy now.  But we’ll see whose crazy in six months when de Lima and his legions sweep through Washington D.C. and then Wall Street, taking over the country and its financial institutions via armbars and rear naked chokes.  Viva la jiu-jitsu revolution!  Free gi’s for everyone!

Mad props to Kronk on the UG for pointing out these amazing pics of Kyra Gracie from Brazil’s VIP Magazine. More goodness in the thumbnails below…

Previously: Hot Potato: Kyra Gracie

(Photo courtesy of gspmma.wordpress.com.)

From Georges St. Pierre‘s latest blog entry for Yardbarker.com:

Before going to Brazil, I had a call from one of my friends who told me that Denis Kang won his fight against Marvin Eastman by TKO in the first minute of the fight. It made me a feel good because it brings a good vibe to the team, and like Tseng Tsu says in the Art of War, battles are won by momentum. I’m also very happy because I also learned he’ll soon be fighting in the UFC, so for the first time since we started training together, we’ll be able to fight in the same organization.

I flew to Brazil Sunday night, and after a long flight I got into Rio de Janeiro. But after the flight I was very tired because I cannot sleep on the plane, so I had to take the morning off from training to take a nap of a couple of hours. I started my training Monday night after my nap, and I quickly found out that even though I just earned my black belt in BJJ, there are still a lot of guys better than me in this sport at Gracie Barra Academy. I got tapped so many times during my training there and I learned so many new tools that just for that alone, this trip was worth it. I met a bunch of new training partners and good friends as well in Brazil. My friend Cleo from Montreal went with me and was teaching a wrestling class during the day where were training a lot of takedowns and takedown defense, plus MMA sparring as well. At night I was also doing BJJ with the gi to improve my ground skill and knowledge.

During the week, one of the valets at the hotel was very nice with me it was nice to meet someone who spoke French very well. Every time a pretty woman was passing by him, he was making a comment in French about how beautiful and sexy she was…

I think there’s also a section in The Art of War about casually mentioning that you got “tapped so many times” in training in order to bait your enemy into going to the ground with you. Don’t fall for it, BJ! To read the rest of GSP’s post, click here. Unfortunately, Rush never mentions if the valet’s obscene French catcalls successfully got him laid.

Crush and Sugar Free getting down at Xtreme Couture. Props to BloodyElbow.

A promo for SpikeTV’s upcoming preview show on “Breakthrough,” which features actual footage of Chuck Liddell’s hamstring injury in April, and Matt Hamill wreckin’ dudes as a kid. Props to FiveOuncesofPain.

Click for larger image!

This weekend, I decided to go through all 13,768 comments that CagePotato has received from readers since we launched seven-ish months ago, and classify them into a multi-colored pie-chart. (I also did some totally crazy, badass stuff this weekend. I swear.) The results are above. It’s possible — though very unlikely — that I left out some significant categories, so if you notice any omissions, holler in the comments section.

In his first match at last weekend’s World Jiu-Jitsu Championships, Andre Galvao was paired up against someone who clearly wasn’t in his league. What followed was an unforgettably ridiculous display of grappling domination, in which Galvao turned the Mundials into his own personal And 1 Mixtape of jiu-jitsu. At the 1:09-1:17 and 1:42-1:56 marks he’s basically breakdancing on his opponent’s back, and we’d like to see more MMA fighters do the somersault guard-pass that Galvao pulls off at 1:35. Props to StoryLords.tv.

By CagePotato Guest Contributor Ben Fowlkes

On April 2nd, Kenny Florian headlines the next edition of Spike TV’s “UFC Fight Night,” where he’ll take on lightweight up-and-comer Joe Lauzon. While most fans know that Florian, like Lauzon, got his start in the UFC with The Ultimate Fighter, what they don’t know is that his journey really began with a near-death experience that changed his outlook on life.

Florian took a trip to Brazil in the summer of 2003 with the goal of improving his jiu-jitsu. While hiking down a mountain with some friends, Florian slipped on the wet, mossy rocks and began sliding off a precipice. Friends tried to grab him, but Florian plummeted over the edge and fell “for what seemed like an eternity.” He landed on a rounded rock that stopped his fall and ultimately saved his life. The experience was an eye-opening one for Florian, and it prompted him to abandon the safety of his white-collar life and pursue his dreams.

In this exclusive interview, Florian talks about the ramifications of that incident, about being haunted and motivated by defeat, and about his impending showdown with Lauzon and what it means for his career.

CagePotato: You came into the UFC by way of The Ultimate Fighter, and you’d only had a few professional fights at that point. What’s the major difference between that Kenny Florian and the one we see in the Octagon now?
Kenny Florian: That last Kenny Florian’s a punk. No, the Kenny Florian on The Ultimate Fighter was a guy who was trying to test his Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. He was a guy who really wasn’t sure if he wanted to become a fighter. It was just an opportunity that was presented to him at the time.

Now you’re seeing a guy who wants to learn it all and who wants to be a master of it all, and who sees the beauty in any technique that works. Whether it’s striking or wrestling or expanding my jiu-jitsu game for MMA, I’m trying to not only get good at the individual arts but find a circle of techniques that flow into each other and compliment each other. It’s an art in itself, just finding what works for MMA.

Now that you’re fighting at lightweight and having success, do you ever look back and wonder, “What was I thinking trying to be a middleweight?”
I was fat, that’s the main thing that comes to my mind. I had no concept of nutrition, of strength and conditioning. Not until after the Sherk fight did I have any concept of those things like the way I do now. I was definitely a work in progress, but I was crazy then. I was really a natural 155’er who was given an opportunity to compete at 185 and I thought, why not? I had nothing to lose.

I had no idea it would become this big, running show. I thought it could have been my only opportunity to fight for the UFC or fight on TV and help bring this sport to the masses. It was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up, and on top of that, week after week, I became more confident. I thought, with the skills I have now I’m doing well against all these experienced mixed martial artists, I may have a chance at winning this thing.

It was really one of my first experiences with mixed martial arts and it was a great chance to work out with great coaches like Randy Couture and Chuck Liddell and find out what it takes to get to that next level. Those are the guys that planted the seed in my head for what I’m doing now.

Reading past interviews with you, it seems like you’re really motivated by your losses. What’s it like after a big loss, when you get back to the dressing room and have to face that dark moment? How do you move past it?
It’s a terrible, terrible feeling. My loss to Sean Sherk haunts me to this day. At the same time it motivates me, and I can look at it as a positive experience. You can let things like that defeat you, or you put them behind you and learn from them and get better. That’s what I tried to do. There’s no such thing as a setback in life. There are only lessons. We’re made to evolve and get better and faster and stronger. You can do that within your own life.

It’s like pushing weights for the first time and your body’s sore and it sucks and it’s really hard, but after a while your muscles and your nervous system and everything gets stronger. Your muscle memory gets better. That’s the way it is with certain things in fighting. If you have a loss, you need to look at it and learn from it. What technical mistakes did I make? What strategic mistakes did I make? What mental mistakes did I make?

You cover all those bases and, if you need to, write it down and start working on patching those holes up. You can only look at it as a positive and live in the present day. If you live in the past, you’re dead.

EliteXC’s welterweight top-dog Jake Shields was awarded his BJJ black belt yesterday by Cesar Gracie at Team Fairtex Gym in San Francisco. Nick Diaz, Gilbert Melendez and others were on hand to congratulate him the only way they know how. Hmm…I assumed this moment would be a little more dignified. Anyway, big ups to Shields, who faces UFC vet Drew Fickett at the March 29th Strikeforce/EliteXC show headlined by Frank Shamrock/Cung Le.

(Video courtesy of Sherdog)

Kyra_Gracie – see more hot chicks

Yes, the Gracie family does occasionally produce women. (We’re as surprised as you are.) In particular, Kyra Gracie — the 22-year-old granddaughter of Robson and niece of Renzo, Ralph, and the late Ryan — is talented enough to roll with her male relations, and foxy enough to be featured on Hot Potato. The first female Gracie to actively compete in jiu-jitsu, Kyra has won over 20 major grappling titles since 1998, including two Abu Dhabi championships and five wins at the Pan-American Games. Check out more photos of Kyra after the jump, and learn more about her at her official website.

You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger / And you don’t mess around with Joe Rogan:

(Joe repeatedly submits an anonymous challenger at 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu. He should pay Mike Swick royalities for that first choke.)

(Joe chastises some broad on some show, then deals with her loudmouth husband.)

“The Assassin” in an interview with PunchDrunkGamer.com about his UFC 78 fight against Thiago Silva:

“It’s not like I don’t know any jiu-jitsu, because I actually do and I’m actually really good at it.”

‘Scuse me? The dude was as confused on his back as my ex-wife. But he did shed light on how he maintains his famously jacked physique:

“The day starts about 5:30 in the morning; I get to the gym about 6. We do a lot of conditioning, loosing up, simple stuff in the morning like a lot of sparring, stretching, and endurance stuff. Then after about an hour and a half of light conditioning I’ll take the kids to school. Then I go back to the gym at about 10 and work out for another hour and a half, do some light lifting, sparring, techniques, a little bit of everything…I do a lot of circuit training, a lot of dumbbells, a lot of pushups, sit-ups, general stuff. There’s no big secret, just a lot of pushups and sit-ups in different forms, a little bit of everything…I throw tires up the hills – heavy diesel tires up the hills. A lot of people will throw them in parking lots but we like to throw them up hills. The bigger tires, the tractor tires, we flip. We do a lot of sprinting too, a lot of vertical jumping, and a lot of stuff to strengthen the legs It’s actually a lot of basic stuff that anybody who’s training should be doing, besides throwing the tires, or hammering tires.”

In other words, quit your day job and don’t sleep. Live near a hill. Raid a junkyard if you have to.